Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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MrMojok: Jan 28, 2011

Thought this was very well-done:

https://youtu.be/Bqfi1KQc_to?si=S3xJ1BiBMwy9DtRL

# ? Sep 28, 2023 21:07

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# ? May 25, 2024 21:31

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

Shard posted:

Randomly thinking about that time in star wars when the planet gun shot a laser that turned into 5 other lasers that hit all the planets in a solar system at the same time within minutes of firing from a different solar system. Just thinking about how stupid fast the laser would have to be going to get to another solar system that quickly and how it could possibly hit different planets at the same time in a solar system.

Did ya'll know space was really big?

At this point it's tough to imagine how they can escalate death stars further next time one pops up. I guess it could threaten to destroy the whole galaxy, but in this post ahsoka world even that is not fully stakeful. I guess you take inspiration from the greats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpYGyKQBZQ0

No Mods No Masters fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Sep 28, 2023

# ? Sep 28, 2023 21:22

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Shard posted:

Randomly thinking about that time in star wars when the planet gun shot a laser that turned into 5 other lasers that hit all the planets in a solar system at the same time within minutes of firing from a different solar system. Just thinking about how stupid fast the laser would have to be going to get to another solar system that quickly and how it could possibly hit different planets at the same time in a solar system.

Did ya'll know space was really big?

They mentioned that the "lasers" were travelling at hyperspeed aka faster than light so just think of it as another thing in the star wars universe that is not actually a laser yet is called a laser.

Originally it was going to fire a weird ball of energy that travelled through hyperspace and made the star of the hosnian system go supernova, which would have been more interesting.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 21:42

Blood Boils: Dec 27, 2006; Its not an S, on my planet it means QUIPS

No Mods No Masters posted:

At this point it's tough to imagine how they can escalate death stars further next time one pops up. I guess it could threaten to destroy the whole galaxy, but in this post ahsoka world even that is not fully stakeful. I guess you take inspiration from the greats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpYGyKQBZQ0

How bout a life star, that builds new planets out of stars or w/e so it's evil

# ? Sep 28, 2023 21:43

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

There are of course a lot of ideas that are valid escalations but too complicated to explain to the audience in a JJ brain level film.

Doubtless they considered eg something that makes stars go supernova, but JJ does not trust anyone to understand what a supernova is, if he even knows himself

# ? Sep 28, 2023 21:52

YaketySass: Jan 15, 2019; Blind Idiot Dog

how about a pair of Death Stars hanging out together, they already did that with suns

# ? Sep 28, 2023 21:52

FunkyAl: Mar 28, 2010; Your vitals soar.

Assepoester posted:

They mentioned that the "lasers" were travelling at hyperspeed aka faster than light so just think of it as another thing in the star wars universe that is not actually a laser yet is called a laser.

Originally it was going to fire a weird ball of energy that travelled through hyperspace and made the star of the hosnian system go supernova, which would have been more interesting.

So, like spock's ship in star trek?

# ? Sep 28, 2023 22:10

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

FunkyAl posted:

So, like spock's ship in star trek?

I think Red Matter just makes black holes, but he was going to use the Red Matter Black Hole to STOP the explosion wave of the star going supernova somehow?

# ? Sep 28, 2023 22:25

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

YaketySass posted:

how about a pair of Death Stars hanging out together, they already did that with suns

They should have them connected to a massive lightsaber

# ? Sep 28, 2023 22:43

Darko: Dec 23, 2004

Assepoester posted:

They mentioned that the "lasers" were travelling at hyperspeed aka faster than light so just think of it as another thing in the star wars universe that is not actually a laser yet is called a laser.

Originally it was going to fire a weird ball of energy that travelled through hyperspace and made the star of the hosnian system go supernova, which would have been more interesting.

That's the Suncrusher, and officially when I wrote off the books as a teen.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 23:21

VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE: Aug 1, 2004; whoa, what just happened here?; College Slice

Darko posted:

That's the Suncrusher, and officially when I wrote off the books as a teen.

The Galaxy Gun pre-dates the Suncrusher as a thing that launches energy projectiles through hyperspace to destroy planets. The Suncrusher had to get up close to blow up stars but it was also effectively indestructible.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 23:28

jisforjosh: Jun 6, 2006; "It's J is for...you know what? Fuck it, jizz it is"

Shard posted:

Randomly thinking about that time in star wars when the planet gun shot a laser that turned into 5 other lasers that hit all the planets in a solar system at the same time within minutes of firing from a different solar system. Just thinking about how stupid fast the laser would have to be going to get to another solar system that quickly and how it could possibly hit different planets at the same time in a solar system.

Did ya'll know space was really big?

Lmao the canon explanation is just insane, just like all of Star Wars

quote:

During this process, the dark energy transformed to a state known as "phantom energy," and left the planet behind, tearing a hole through hyperspace along a perfectly linear path. The beam of energy was specifically designed to be seen across the galaxy, meant to encourage surrender to the First Order.

The people stationed at the base called the dimension through which the phantom energy beam traveled "sub-hyperspace," and this method of delivering the payload was near-instantaneous across vast distances...The space-time disruption caused by the phantom energy's passage would make the nova instantaneously visible thousands of light years away, for a short time.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 23:38

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

And people say pablo doesn't justify his paycheck. SMH

# ? Sep 28, 2023 23:52

Angry Salami: Jul 27, 2013; Don't trust the skull.

Shard posted:

Randomly thinking about that time in star wars when the planet gun shot a laser that turned into 5 other lasers that hit all the planets in a solar system at the same time within minutes of firing from a different solar system. Just thinking about how stupid fast the laser would have to be going to get to another solar system that quickly and how it could possibly hit different planets at the same time in a solar system.

Did ya'll know space was really big?

JJ Abrams has some sort of grudge against the concept of distance. That's why in his Star Trek film, he just has characters able to beam across interplanetary distances. If he had his way, all science fiction would take place in a single small room.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 13:08

TheDeadlyShoe: Feb 14, 2014

Angry Salami posted:

JJ Abrams has some sort of grudge against the concept of distance. That's why in his Star Trek film, he just has characters able to beam across interplanetary distances. If he had his way, all science fiction would take place in a single small room.

It does. It's called the Volume.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 16:59

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

It does. It's called the Volume.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 17:08

ruddiger: Jun 3, 2004

YaketySass posted:

Padme trying to calm Anakin down by talking about that time she ran over a Gungan kid and it was NBD

lmao

# ? Sep 29, 2023 22:59

TheLoquid: Nov 5, 2008

No Mods No Masters posted:

At this point it's tough to imagine how they can escalate death stars further next time one pops up. I guess it could threaten to destroy the whole galaxy, but in this post ahsoka world even that is not fully stakeful. I guess you take inspiration from the greats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpYGyKQBZQ0

Kyp Durron has entered the chat

# ? Sep 30, 2023 03:11

Dr.Radical: Apr 3, 2011

Shard posted:

Randomly thinking about that time in star wars when the planet gun shot a laser that turned into 5 other lasers that hit all the planets in a solar system at the same time within minutes of firing from a different solar system. Just thinking about how stupid fast the laser would have to be going to get to another solar system that quickly and how it could possibly hit different planets at the same time in a solar system.

Did ya'll know space was really big?

I like the idea of pressing a button to activate your super weapon and being like �Man, in 100 years these guys are toast! Any way, what to do until then��

# ? Sep 30, 2023 07:31

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Dr.Radical posted:

I like the idea of pressing a button to activate your super weapon and being like �Man, in 100 years these guys are toast! Any way, what to do until then��

Plan one hell of a 'I did it thirty five minutes ago' speech.

# ? Sep 30, 2023 15:09

Robot Style: Jul 5, 2009

I wonder if astronomers in Star Wars ever use super powerful telescopes to rewatch old space battles from the distant past that still have their light travelling through the galaxy.

# ? Oct 1, 2023 06:06

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Robot Style posted:

I wonder if astronomers in Star Wars ever use super powerful telescopes to rewatch old space battles from the distant past that still have their light travelling through the galaxy.

I think at that point we're getting into the "FTL just completely and irreversibly fucks up causality" conversation

# ? Oct 1, 2023 09:05

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

That's all peanuts compared to Force Diodes' instant transmission techniques

# ? Oct 1, 2023 09:58

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

FTL is effectively magic anyway. Same with artificial gravity. It works however you want.

# ? Oct 1, 2023 10:04

Blood Boils: Dec 27, 2006; Its not an S, on my planet it means QUIPS

loving magnets how do they work

# ? Oct 2, 2023 03:13

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

There has to be lots of icp Jedi and sith and I wish to see none of it!

# ? Oct 2, 2023 06:22

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

You can even use FTL to kill the bad guys, but it follows Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey rules (only the good guys can use it)

# ? Oct 2, 2023 06:31

josh04: Oct 19, 2008; "THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"
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Upsidads posted:

There has to be lots of icp Jedi and sith and I wish to see none of it!

This is why Sheev dropped Maul.

# ? Oct 2, 2023 08:13

PeterWeller: Apr 21, 2003; I told you that story so I could tell you this one.

Technically, Obi-wan dropped him. Twice.

# ? Oct 2, 2023 16:39

josh04: Oct 19, 2008; "THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"
_{This title contains sponsored content.}

"Juggle this"

# ? Oct 2, 2023 18:54

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

This novelty star wars burlesque calendar made me realize no SW media has ever featured a Sith lighting a ~~cigarette~~deathstick like this which is frankly a failure of imagination

# ? Oct 3, 2023 03:30

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Wolfsheim posted:

This novelty star wars burlesque calendar made me realize no SW media has ever featured a Sith lighting a ~~cigarette~~deathstick like this which is frankly a failure of imagination

IIRC, Death Sticks in the EU suppress the Force

# ? Oct 3, 2023 03:31

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

Wolfsheim posted:

This novelty star wars burlesque calendar made me realize no SW media has ever featured a Sith lighting a ~~cigarette~~deathstick like this which is frankly a failure of imagination

I wanna see Sheev light one with force lightning

# ? Oct 3, 2023 03:38

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Wolfsheim posted:

This novelty star wars burlesque calendar made me realize no SW media has ever featured a Sith lighting a ~~cigarette~~deathstick like this which is frankly a failure of imagination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBSewLRGDao

# ? Oct 3, 2023 03:39

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

its 2023 we vape lightsabers now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOtfrLzsjzI

Upsidads fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Oct 3, 2023

# ? Oct 3, 2023 03:43

FunkyAl: Mar 28, 2010; Your vitals soar.

C-3PO has circled around back to Metropolis Robot.

# ? Oct 3, 2023 04:27

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Bogus Adventure posted:

IIRC, Death Sticks in the EU suppress the Force

There is an established Sith practice of using Spice to enhance Force powers, though

# ? Oct 3, 2023 05:11

Darko: Dec 23, 2004

Wolfsheim posted:

This novelty star wars burlesque calendar made me realize no SW media has ever featured a Sith lighting a ~~cigarette~~deathstick like this which is frankly a failure of imagination

There's a traveling Star Wars burlesque show called The Empire Strips Back. It was in Seattle when I was there and then is coming to my city now.

Darko fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Oct 4, 2023

# ? Oct 4, 2023 01:46

Jehde: Apr 21, 2010

Darko posted:

There's a traveling Star Wars burlesque show called The Enpire Strips Back. It was in Seattle when I was there and then is coming to my city now.

Was just told about them last night actually, in my city for the next couple weeks.

# ? Oct 4, 2023 01:59

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# ? May 25, 2024 21:31

Glottis: May 29, 2002; No. It's necessary.; Yam Slacker

Ahsoka ended plot-wise about how I thought. Overall a better series than I expected, albeit with a lot of fluff. I wonder if someone could edit it down to a <2 hour movie (leaving most of Ep 5 intact).

One achievement of the show, for me, is that they didn't make it super obvious they were using Volume poo poo the whole time. It's amazing tech but on some shows / movies you can really tell.

It's really a shame about Ray Stevenson, his character was cool as hell and I want to see more. As far as fallen Jedi antagonists go, I put people like what's her name from Obi-Wan as the worst (cartoonish cocky person out for vengeance) and people like him at the best (morally compromised but still with their own set of values and agenda).

Also my phone autocorrected "cartoonish" to "cartoonist" and now I'm imagining an evil Jedi that makes webcomics on the side.

# ? Oct 4, 2023 14:11

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars: a cool dude in a black cloak and helmet and his name is Star Wars

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