(Thread IKs:
Platystemon)
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I can't stop giggling at what you did to that poor man
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Oct 1, 2023 22:25
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| # ? May 28, 2024 01:11 |
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Taeke posted:I can't stop giggling at what you did to that poor man it's like he made a deal with an evil genie.
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Oct 1, 2023 22:31
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The next step is obvious: convince him to get a coyote or bobcat to get rid of the goose.
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Oct 1, 2023 22:38
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LuxuryLarva posted:I volunteer a lot so sometimes I meet people who have lost jobs and I met this guy who lost his job at google and he used to work for the google glass division and then he started working in their AI division. After he got fired his girlfriend dumped him. One time when we were volunteering he told me that deer kept eating all the plants in his garden and I told him to get a goose because it would scare away all the deer. He got a goose egg and he got it to imprint on him and now the goose literally just follows him around his yard and it attacks his neighbors and the other day he told me that the goose scared away a date by flying into her and biting her face. I ruined this nerd's life with a goose. Computers should be illegal. Thanks for listening. LuxuryLarva posted:Even though I lowkey dislike the tech industry and think that tech workers have ruined my hometown by making everything too expensive I can see his humanity and will never tell him how I feel. He seems super sad on most days and has told me multiple times that even though he's been successful financially he's never really accomplished anything at work - that google got rid of every project he ever worked on - that his girlfriend only liked him because he had money. It seems like it's the only living thing that actually loves him even though it attacks the deliveryman and it leaves huge corklike turds all over his car's windshield that he has to pick out with his hands because he says they smear when he uses the wipers.
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Oct 1, 2023 22:45
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Is there a gander pun we could use in the title now....
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Oct 1, 2023 22:57
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cyberpunk goosetopia
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Oct 1, 2023 22:58
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if you gander long into the void, someone reinvents glasses for perverts
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Oct 1, 2023 23:09
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Cyberpunk Dystopia: Blade Runner with Ryan Goose
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Oct 1, 2023 23:14
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Biplane posted:Lmfao again
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Oct 1, 2023 23:29
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apatheticman posted:Is there a gander pun we could use in the title now.... what’s good for the goons is good for the gander
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Oct 1, 2023 23:30
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MUEXGaxFDA Good video worth watching if you have the time.
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Oct 1, 2023 23:32
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Goose Goon Griefs Google Gardener
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Oct 1, 2023 23:41
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next convince him to cook and eat it to solve the problems the goose created. please record his crying while eating it
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Oct 2, 2023 00:33
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LuxuryLarva posted:I volunteer a lot so sometimes I meet people who have lost jobs and I met this guy who lost his job at google and he used to work for the google glass division and then he started working in their AI division. After he got fired his girlfriend dumped him. One time when we were volunteering he told me that deer kept eating all the plants in his garden and I told him to get a goose because it would scare away all the deer. He got a goose egg and he got it to imprint on him and now the goose literally just follows him around his yard and it attacks his neighbors and the other day he told me that the goose scared away a date by flying into her and biting her face. I ruined this nerd's life with a goose. Computers should be illegal. Thanks for listening. LuxuryLarva posted:Even though I lowkey dislike the tech industry and think that tech workers have ruined my hometown by making everything too expensive I can see his humanity and will never tell him how I feel. He seems super sad on most days and has told me multiple times that even though he's been successful financially he's never really accomplished anything at work - that google got rid of every project he ever worked on - that his girlfriend only liked him because he had money. It seems like it's the only living thing that actually loves him even though it attacks the deliveryman and it leaves huge corklike turds all over his car's windshield that he has to pick out with his hands because he says they smear when he uses the wipers. lmfao good
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Oct 2, 2023 00:40
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Cyberhonk Goosepoopia also lmfao great job
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Oct 2, 2023 00:44
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Imma eat the goose
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Oct 2, 2023 00:46
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The unnamed goose goon
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Oct 2, 2023 00:47
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LuxuryLarva posted:Computers should be illegal.
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Oct 2, 2023 02:57
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Whirling posted:lmao what the gently caress, you can just scare away deer by putting wind chimes all over the place, why on earth did you think "ah he should get the worst bird on the planet, that'll solve the deer problem" I really dislike almost everything about the tech industry but I'd be lying if it wasn't motivated by a lot of jealousy since many of those opportunities seem completely out of reach to me. I find a lot of tech people to be arrogant and sheltered and they tend to view themselves as the superego of society - like it's their job to discipline the world - and it grates on me. Adding to that the arrival of tech giants in my hometown marked a decades long transition into an economy that was ever more cruel, extractive, and unequal. It will probably eventually force me to live in a place that I don't want to live in. However I keep my mouth shut. It's not productive to shout people down and call them gentrifiers and computers aren't going away. It just makes you seem like a psychopath, it burns down bridges, and what could any of them even do to change things even if I convinced them? Nothing. It's bigger than them. It's bigger than me. poo poo. I might even learn to program someday - but the ill will is still there. I just can't help it. It's just human. Having said all of that none of this sentiment motivated my decision to recommend a goose as a pet to protect that man's garden. It was just the first thing that popped into my head. I told him that they made great guard animals and then I started talking about how they were used to protect Rome and something just went off in his head. He says that whenever he leaves in his car it chases him down the block because it's so attached to him that it doesn't want him to leave. He's getting a cage to put it in because of this because after it chases him down the cul de sac it just wanders around the neighborhood trying to eat cats. Apparently it gets into absolutely wild fights with raccoons because it's so incredibly territorial as well. It is obviously a very disruptive animal because it wants to protect him and it's extremely aggressive but he has nothing bad to say about it even though it keeps him up at night, shits on everything, and tries to kill everything that moves including his dates. Anyway in my defense he's sort of a sad sack and has nothing in this world except google money and that goose so connecting him with a flying poo poo snake was a good thing. I'm helping him.
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Oct 2, 2023 03:43
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[Cybergoose Dystopia]
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Oct 2, 2023 03:52
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LuxuryLarva posted:I told him that they made great guard animals and then I started talking about how they were used to protect Rome and something just went off in his head. holy poo poo lmao, you loving Inceptioned that guy by bringing up gooses guarding rome. well played Whirling has issued a correction as of 04:26 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 03:58
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LuxuryLarva posted:they tend to view themselves as the superego of society - like it's their job to discipline the world oh god this interpretation is causing some weird conversations i had with tech bros where they were super-serious about mediocre received wisdom to make more sense
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Oct 2, 2023 04:05
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my suggestion is to work in IT, most of the pay with half of the bullshit and you're a lot less hosed by popped bubbles on the whole since actual companies want to hire you instead of ponzi schemes for venture capital
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Oct 2, 2023 05:04
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Whirling posted:holy poo poo lmao, you loving Inceptioned that guy by bringing up gooses guarding rome. well played Because the sacred geese of Juno saved Rome, the goose is actually the foundation block of all western civilisation.
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Oct 2, 2023 05:30
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I hope the goose is treated well
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Oct 2, 2023 05:44
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LuxuryLarva posted:I volunteer a lot so sometimes I meet people who have lost jobs and I met this guy who lost his job at google and he used to work for the google glass division and then he started working in their AI division. After he got fired his girlfriend dumped him. One time when we were volunteering he told me that deer kept eating all the plants in his garden and I told him to get a goose because it would scare away all the deer. He got a goose egg and he got it to imprint on him and now the goose literally just follows him around his yard and it attacks his neighbors and the other day he told me that the goose scared away a date by flying into her and biting her face. I ruined this nerd's life with a goose. Computers should be illegal. Thanks for listening. LuxuryLarva posted:Even though I lowkey dislike the tech industry and think that tech workers have ruined my hometown by making everything too expensive I can see his humanity and will never tell him how I feel. He seems super sad on most days and has told me multiple times that even though he's been successful financially he's never really accomplished anything at work - that google got rid of every project he ever worked on - that his girlfriend only liked him because he had money. It seems like it's the only living thing that actually loves him even though it attacks the deliveryman and it leaves huge corklike turds all over his car's windshield that he has to pick out with his hands because he says they smear when he uses the wipers. LuxuryLarva posted:I really dislike almost everything about the tech industry but I'd be lying if it wasn't motivated by a lot of jealousy since many of those opportunities seem completely out of reach to me. I find a lot of tech people to be arrogant and sheltered and they tend to view themselves as the superego of society - like it's their job to discipline the world - and it grates on me. Adding to that the arrival of tech giants in my hometown marked a decades long transition into an economy that was ever more cruel, extractive, and unequal. It will probably eventually force me to live in a place that I don't want to live in. However I keep my mouth shut. It's not productive to shout people down and call them gentrifiers and computers aren't going away. It just makes you seem like a psychopath, it burns down bridges, and what could any of them even do to change things even if I convinced them? Nothing. It's bigger than them. It's bigger than me. lmao
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Oct 2, 2023 06:43
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help, the agitated goose is back
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Oct 2, 2023 06:52
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tristeham posted:lmao I just read these posts out loud to my gf in my daily forums report and it got a lot of laughs. Ty
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Oct 2, 2023 07:01
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incredible content
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Oct 2, 2023 07:03
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I just visited YouTube. Google: (pop-up) How interested would you be in playing mini games on YouTube? Me: loving never Google: Why? Me: ... I'm here to watch videos on a video platform, not play games? loving idiots.
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Oct 2, 2023 07:18
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how often does that man think about ancient rome once a day?
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Oct 2, 2023 07:20
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LuxuryLarva posted:I told him that they made great guard animals and then I started talking about how they were used to protect Rome and something just went off in his head. those posts could have stood on their own but you took it too far  si non confectus non reficiat
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Oct 2, 2023 08:27
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Ruffian Price posted:those posts could have stood on their own but you took it too far never underestimate the stupidity and gullibility of idiot techlords
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Oct 2, 2023 08:29
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LuxuryLarva, you may have ruined that man's life with an extremely loving goose, but you also made a lot of people on the internet laugh and smile, so, it;s impossible to say if it was bad or not,
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Oct 2, 2023 09:44
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untutored good sequel: a nerd is trying to get it wet and you are a horrible goose
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Oct 2, 2023 10:16
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https://youtube.com/shorts/CHiffGBncyE?si=-FNMb-n490aNLX24 Apparently I have no idea how to embed YouTube, but I feel like this is how every day is with a goose guard
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Oct 2, 2023 10:23
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I stavved laughed when you mentioned rome. That was it. The rome meme strikes again
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Oct 2, 2023 10:24
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Kick him while he's down. Buy him an account.
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Oct 2, 2023 11:04
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Does he own his house or is he renting? If he's an owner tell him to buy a shovel and a garden fork and a hammer and some straight nails and some u nails and some 8 foot poles and some planks and some chicken wire and some hinges and a latch and segment off part of his garden as a goose run. Goose gets a nice enclosed but spacious area where it can get used to being apart from him, techbro does some manual labour and for the first time in his life can experience seeing the tangible results of his efforts. This is a serious suggestion. Or he drops a pole on the goose. Maybe get the cage first.
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Oct 2, 2023 11:30
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| # ? May 28, 2024 01:11 |
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fondue posted:I just visited YouTube. i still cant believe adblock still works in near 2024
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Oct 2, 2023 11:50
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