Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for reminding my sister a voucher for an event I gifted her would soon expire and offer to go in her place if she didn't want to?

"Did you use it yet?" "No"
"How about now?" "No"
"How about now?" "No"
"How about now?"

Crocobile posted:

Surprised the guy doesn’t think wearing a bra is cheating.

Is sumo easier if you have a lower center of gravity? I’m stronger at sumo but I also have unusually long arms & pretty good hip mobility.

quote:

i 15m was throwing a ball around in my class (i have adhd) and it kept rolling to a girls desk. she got annoyed, and told me to get the ball away in a tone that i thought was very rude.

for background info, i never got along with this girl, and shes kinda the hot cheeto girl that i find very obnoxious (ive had a history with getting into arguments with her since 8th grade) but anyways.

I lost my temper and said "you dont have to be such a bitch" and then we got into an argument. eventually, my teacher got involved because she could hear us arguing. she then starts calling me a racist and a weirdo, and started making ship up.

eventually, we were both pulled into the hallway, and rven then we still kept arguing when the teacher was trying to mediate. eventually, i apologuzed for calling her a bitch, but she hasnt apologized at all.

the teacher wrote a referral for me, and idk what she did with the other girl. I do feel bad for calling her a bitch and feel i went overboard, but i feel like i didnt like how she talked to me, and the accusations she made later. I rlly dont know what to think, no one else has commented on it, and other classmates just saw it as drama, so AITA?

quote:

Throwaway. First time posting. Fake names used.

There's a lot going on, but I'll try to only give what's necessary.

I (50F) and husband "Adam" (50M) have a daughter "Jill" (20F) who is in college & still lives at home. Jill is about 10 weeks pregnant. We had never met her boyfriend "Jack" (23M) before this happened. Adam put a rule in place after the last boyfriend of you have to date 6 months before we meet them. There was a thought that the ex bf might become a stalker. (Not changing original post, but please see edit 2.) Jill and Jack have been together somewhere around 4 months. Jack has a daughter (2F) that he doesn't pay child support for and only recently started seeing regularly because the mom wouldn't let him. There is no support order in place.

Jill called and asked if Jack could come inside and meet us, since they were together and she needed to pick up something. Adam was opposed but said yes, because of me. The hellos were good. Jill asked if I wanted to ask Jack any questions. I said no. She asked if I was sure. I said yes. Jack said I could ask anything. After looking at them both for a few seconds I said okay and took him to the dining room. I just came out and asked what made my daughter so special that he would take care of her child and not the child he already had. He gave the excuse of the mom didn't put him on support. And he basically didn't want to give her anything because he didn't know if it would go to take care of her. I told him those were all bs excuses. Adam did aggressively chime in and say he would push Jill to file for support. I wasn't prepared for that. I think I quickly changed the subject and asked about Jack's job and how it worked. I thought things ended good, even if I wasn't happy about the support answer.

It has been about 6 weeks since this all happened. We just found out that he hasn't been back because we made him feel uncomfortable. But Jack also still lives at home and his mother makes Jill uncomfortable all the time, saying she loves her and wanting her to say it back, or telling her to call her mom and that she can be a mother figure, to wanting to touch her stomach, to telling her personal things about herself. Jack thinks that Jill should suck it up and not try to set boundaries because they get to be at his house.

AITA for coming straight out and asking daughter's boyfriend a no nonsense question on our first meeting?

Edit: Just quickly... A lot of people are thinking that Jill got kicked out and doesn't still live at home. She does. Also the rule which I think should have been 3 months not 6 is in place because Jill tends to only date for 3 months. We also have a younger child and don't want guys in and out all the time.

Edit 2: I was told I needed to clarify. I shouldn't have used the term stalking. The ex started calling from different phones when she finally broke up with him. He wanted her to take him back and was promising to change. It was harassing because he wouldn't take the first no.

Crocobile posted:

Surprised the guy doesn’t think wearing a bra is cheating.

Is sumo easier if you have a lower center of gravity? I’m stronger at sumo but I also have unusually long arms & pretty good hip mobility.

Johnny Truant posted:

Hellblazer187 posted:

"Sumo is cheating" is the dumbest thing on earth. It's literally legal under the rules of every powerlifting federation on earth. If it allowed all competitors to lift more weight, then every competitor would do it. The fact that some competitors still lift conventional is proof that sumo doesn't universally allow heavier pulling.

Also most people who lift don't even compete. So cheating is an irrelevant concept.

The reason this became a thing is that a higher proportion of women who compete pull sumo compared to men. So when an instagram lifter lady moves 350+, weak, worthless men have a way to attempt to minimize the accomplishment.

RC Cola posted:

well see I am a man and if I see a woman do a thing that I cannot do it fills me with such rage that I have to go post online about how mad it makes me. Imagine the idea of a woman doing something better than a man. What does this look like to you, not a patriarchy???

edit also what the gently caress is sumo. I can't do a squat so I have no idea but also luckily since I'm a man and can't squat no woman can squat either because if they can they are cheating and its bullshit

Batterypowered7 posted:

Instead of standing with a somewhat narrow stance and having your arms on the outside of your legs (Conventional), you have a wide stance and your arms between your legs instead (Sumo).

RC Cola posted:

well see I am a man and if I see a woman do a thing that I cannot do it fills me with such rage that I have to go post online about how mad it makes me. Imagine the idea of a woman doing something better than a man. What does this look like to you, not a patriarchy???

B-Rock452 posted:

Well here is a woman deadlifting more conventional than 99 of men ever will.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpgIT8gAbxM/?igshid=MWZjMTM2ODFkZg==

Modal Auxiliary posted:

Steer clear of this one, hemophobics! Straight up anime nosebleed IRL right here.

B-Rock452 posted:

Well here is a woman deadlifting more conventional than 99 of men ever will.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpgIT8gAbxM/?igshid=MWZjMTM2ODFkZg==

Wicked Them Beats posted:

I cheated on my spouse, but only before we were married, so it doesn't count.

quote:

Shelly, Carol, and I are all friends. We haven't revisited the relationship at all. I honestly forget it ever happened.

selec posted:

JFC

I had no idea that could really happen

Hughlander posted:

I feel there's a new portmanteau there, side-hustle-piece something something...

Modal Auxiliary posted:

Some of these people will straight up prolapse a rectum to lift the heavy thing, poo poo's wild.

quote:

I (28F) have an older brother Adam (30M) and my Stephanie SIL (28F). Every year my family and I take a big trip and time of year depends on everyone's schedules. This year we collectively agreed for the second week in December. Those going on the trip include my husband Justin (33M) and I, our twin 2 year olds, my parents, and my brother, SIL and their 3 year old. My mom always makes all of the travel arrangements to ensure everyone is on the same flights, kids sit with parents, hotels are the same, etc. Everyone is on their own for getting to and from the airport at home, but car my mom makes car arrangements from the destination airport to the hotel and hotel to airport when leaving. While my mom makes the arrangements, my husband and I always Zelle/Venmo my mom for our portion of flights and hotels. My brother and SIL do the same thing.

This year everyone agreed to Disney World in Orlando. My mom as usual made all the reservations and what not about 2 months ago. My husband and I paid my mom our portion about a week after the reservations were made. Last night Adam texted husband asking if we had paid my parents yet. He said we had a while back. Adam then asked Justin if we could pay his family's portion of the trip. Not sure if everyone has been to Disney but it's ridiculously expensive these days. Justin told him we couldn't swing it with our budget at the time. We both work full time and make decent money but we don't have the kind of money that is just throw away. My brother and SIL both also work full time, and my nephew is not in daycare, my brother's mother in law watches him free, while we pay for 2 kids in daycare. Adam said responded with "Well ok then." and quit texting him.

Queue to this morning where I woke up to several texts from Adam calling Justin an rear end in a top hat for nothing being a "good brother" and paying for their family. I told Adam I agreed with Justin and we just can't swing the money for them in our budget. I apologized and told Adam he was out of line for calling Justin an rear end in a top hat and wouldn't stand for it. Adam again asked me to pay and said it could be our Christmas present to him, my SIL and my nephew. If I had the spare money to do it that way, I would, but I don't have the ability to do that, so I can't. I told him I couldn't do it and told him to reach out to our parents about a payment plan or something. Adam called Justin and I AHs and said we ruined their vacation.

I'm kind of surprised by my brother's behavior, but are Justin and I the assholes here?

Quick Update #1 (will be one a little later): I'm still at work but I took the advice of a few on here and reached out to both my mom and SIL (separately) and let them know what Adam did. My mom and Stephanie BOTH confirmed their portion of the trip HAS ALREADY BEEN PAID, and has been for months. Stephanie had no idea Adam had reached out to Justin and doesn't know why he would. She said she would reign him in and apologized to me for his request.

For those asking why we planned this trip when my brother and SIL couldn't afford it, Disney was their idea. After everyone checked on finances we all agreed and my mom started making arrangements within provided budgets at that point. Sorry that wasn't clear in my initial post. I'm dealing with this at work.

Quick Update #2 I’m sitting in the parking lot at work before I get my kids and head home but I have some more info. I need to preface this by saying I dearly love my brother but oh my goodness I have no idea how this is my life right now. My SIL talked to my brother. I didn’t know until today they have separate checking accounts and a joint savings. Their own account is their fun money to use as they please joint account used for shared/household expenses. My husband and I do this as well, cuts down majorly on money arguments, 11/10 would recommend. Anyways, Adam apparently ordered my SIL a pair of diamond studs as a Christmas present and was charged three times for the same item FROM TIFFANY’S. Rather than dealing with the bank/Tiffany’s he panicked and thought he could get money from Justin and I to make up for it. I feel bad for him but literally laughing at the moment. More to come.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not paying for my brother and his family's vacation?

limp_cheese posted:

That's one hell of a load bearing "most".

Edit: That's Atlas levels of load bearing.

quote:

I, 30s female am friends with a couple, also in their 30s, Dan and Tina. I'm more friends with Dan since I've known him 15 years, but I've known Tina for 7 years. They have a 4yo daughter, Ally. Dan and Tina recently broke up and Tina wants to move back home to the west coast, we're all currently on the east coast. Naturally the topic of child custody for Ally came up while Dan was hanging out with my and my husband. Dan wants to propose that he and Tina each get 6 months of custody with Ally. Jan 1st-June 30th then July 1st-Dec 31st and it switches off like that every year. I asked what about Ally going to school next year? Dan said she'd be with one of them until end of December then fly across the country and spend the other half of the school year with the other parent. I told Dan that idea is completely stupid and will never work. You can't uproot a kid in the middle of every school year. No judge with any common sense would ever sign off on that agreement. Plus, Ally needs a primary residence for school, doctors, and extracurriculars and anything else. Dan didn't like being told that and ended up leaving before dinner. My husband says while he understands my views I was really harsh. I personally feel that arrangements would be an absolute nightmare for Tina, especially as she gets older and doubt any court would allow it. I did text Dan to apologize for my wording, but no response yet.

AITA?

Edit: I know I was harsh. I reacted to a surprisingly bad idea in a very poor manner. That said, that's been our friendship for years. We've always called each other out over things that were stupid or we didn't think through. Dan's called me out countless times and I have him. He's never actually been upset before.

quote:

Advice Needed
To give some context to my current situation, I need to provide some background information.

About 14 years ago, I (M42 today) got my MEng degree but was struggling to find work. I did eventually land a job working for a medium-sized company, but even then I was still struggling financially as I owed so much debt in student loans and lived in a pretty expensive city.

It was admittedly a pretty low point in my life. I’m sure many people can relate to the feeling that you’ve done so much schoolwork and then don’t have much to show for it. I did, however, build a good relationship with my boss (M84 today), as in my mind this was the easiest way to earn promotions and in turn a high income.

Eventually, I met my boss’s family. One thing that quickly became obvious was that his daughter, Rose (F39 today), liked me a lot. I didn’t think too much of it at the time because I thought mixing my professional and personal lives would be a bad idea. Also, I did not reciprocate her feelings in any way. Though for obvious reasons, I was always exceptionally polite to her at every interaction.

Long story short, my boss’s wife (F78 today) found out, and I started getting invited by my boss to his house pretty regularly for things like dinners, etc. Throughout all of these, my boss and his wife would somehow always steer conversations in ways that led to me talking to Rose or would leave the room for some reason or another just leaving the two of us together.

Later, my boss would even tell me things like how I felt like family and he’d be happy to recommend me to higher positions, etc, since his wife and daughter are so fond of me. Needless to say, I started talking more to Rose, and within weeks I got a promotion.

While I will admit to not feeling much of a romantic connection with Rose, I did put a lot of effort into fostering that relationship, and she was happy with the attention I was giving her. After a few months of this, we were married. As you can imagine, my career really took off then. However, I did leave the company roughly 2 years after getting married and with the recommendations, I was able to get from my former boss/father-in-law and several other people he introduced me to. I was able to secure a good position elsewhere.

Today, I can happily say that after being married for 12 years and having 3 children together, there is no other woman I’d rather spend my life with. Because I feel like this, I’ve always felt that my primary motivator for getting married to Rose is no longer relevant.

That being said, I had lunch with two of my long-time friends, Michael (M43) and Wilson (M38), a few days ago. We haven’t seen each other in about a year, so it was a nice opportunity to catch up. I’d like to add that Michael and Wilson are both familiar with my situation as we were in regular contact back then.

At one point in the conversation, Michael asked if Rose ever found out “the real reason” why I decided to marry her. I told him, of course not, and that her finding out would be needlessly painful for her. Wilson agreed with Michael, saying things like honesty and transparency were the main things he and his wife picked up from couples’ therapy and that it would be better long term if Rose found out.

I reaffirmed to them that Rose not knowing would be best for our family, and the conversation largely ended there.

That being said, I have started to think more about what they’ve said and do feel a little guilty.

AITA?

quote:

Whether AH or NTA, giving Michael and Wilson the nuclear key codes to detonate your marriage was not the smartest move you ever did.

haveblue posted:

I have seen much more Friends than you'd think because one of my college roommates watched it religiously. That and professional wrestling

Desert Bus posted:

Were there any episodes where the Friends wrestled?

Clocks posted:

the whole "separate finances, begging for more money despite everything being paid off already" is usually more in the line of drugs or cheating, so part of me is still thinking this is a cover story. Easily proven with some bank statements I guess.

Desert Bus posted:

Were there any episodes where the Friends wrestled?

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Yup. This is absolutely another desperation excuse. Drugs or gambling?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling a friend his custody plan is stupid?

Clocks posted:

I feel like even the biggest doormat wouldn't pay 3x the cost of Tiffany diamond earrings? I mean him working it out would be probably one of the more benign ways this could have gone, but the whole "separate finances, begging for more money despite everything being paid off already" is usually more in the line of drugs or cheating, so part of me is still thinking this is a cover story. Easily proven with some bank statements I guess.

quote:

Update 2 - Filed for divorce. First night in my apartment Sept 30, 2023

I have been on high drive this weekend. No moving on Sundays but I was fortunate to get the keys Thursday. I have been discreetly packing my clothes and yesterday (Friday) the moving truck came and took all my stuff and my furniture that I bought to my new place. I changed my address to my parents’ because I don’t want my husband to know my new adress if he googled it. When I was in my new apartment it looked gloomy and so tiny. I just broke down crying. Like I have postponed my tears and now I could finally feel safe to be vulnerable. Around dinner my husband started bombarding my phone because I left him a note that I was done with our marriage and filed for divorce.

My plan was to never speak to him again but today after a million messages and missed calls I folded and answered him. He was very confused and in total panic but I just kept saying that I wasn’t in love with him anymore and that I was bored in our marriage. He was confused and begged me to come home and explain. Then he started trying to find other solutions. Maybe I was bored with my job or with our apartment. Maybe we could move and start anew somewhere else. I couldn’t hold my tongue and just said “yeah maybe we can move to [city where the other woman lives], that would be very convenient for you”. He was silent for a second then asked what I meant. “You know, because the main office is there and you have better chances to advance in your career?” Silent again, then he said listen, I don’t care about my career now. I care about you. I love you and I can’t lose you. He will do anything to make me happy. I said the only thing was that he left me alone and understood that it is over because the sooner he realized it was over the better. I hung up.

I probably need a new phone number because I don’t trust myself not answering him again I was so disappointed in myself for talking to him when I decided I didn’t. My parents in law have called and wanted an explanation and I just said that I wasn’t in love anymore and wanted an out. They’re both confused.

All and all it is better than them knowing the real reasons. Id rather have them confused than sorry for me or worse try to explain his behavior and ask me to forgive him. I’m way better this way

I don’t think there’s a need for lawyers. We don’t own anything together and we don’t have children. I have already taken my half of the savings etc and I never stood on the lease of his apartment. I see no reason to have lawyers. I already sent my divorce papers to court and with or without his signature I will be divorced (in 6 months if he signs too, in 1-2 years if he refuses to sign and I submit a new application every 6 months).

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my daughter's boyfriend a straight forward question?

Jill is about 10 weeks pregnant. We had never met her boyfriend "Jack" (23M) before this happened. Adam put a rule in place after the last boyfriend of you have to date 6 months before we meet them. There was a thought that the ex bf might become a stalker. (Not changing original post, but please see edit 2.) Jill and Jack have been together somewhere around 4 months...

Jill called and asked if Jack could come inside and meet us, since they were together and she needed to pick up something. Adam was opposed but said yes, because of me.

Cythereal posted:

Tips for getting a childlike, kind Asian girlfriend?

Lottery of Babylon posted:

I'm sorry, what? Why is this a rule? Why is this a rule your husband is enforcing so strongly that you need to overrule him just to meet the father of your grandchild?