[succ] Go directly to the solutions tent, do not collect 600 dollars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [succ] Go directly to the solutions tent, do not collect 600 dollars

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Deified Data: Nov 3, 2015; Fun Shoe

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/ToonHive/status...ingawful.com%2F

Weird guys on facebook you vaguely remember from high school are gonna be feasting

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 23:47

Teabag Dome Scandal: Mar 19, 2002

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/ToonHive/status...ingawful.com%2F

Is this a direct to video south park movie??

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:17

Pepe Silvia Browne: Jan 1, 2007

Teabag Dome Scandal posted:

Is this a direct to video south park movie??

they call it streaming now, poppop

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:18

1glitch0: Sep 4, 2018; I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT SHE BELIEVES THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS CHANGED MY LIFE #HUFFLEPUFF

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/ToonHive/status...ingawful.com%2F

Tune in for the joke in the first minute of the South Park special and watch them repeat it for the next hour!

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:19

Andorra: Dec 12, 2012

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/AdamSessler/status/1712309005769671108?s=20

As I was saying......

ADAM SESSLER
OCT 11, 2023
1

So I wrote and published this little social media ditty on 10/10/2023 and, as expected. It made a lot of people upset. Which was kinda the point.

I hope you realize this isn’t some scribbling of contrition to get back in the graces of anyone I may have offended. I’m glad you’re offended, there’s a political and cultural utility to offense and the conventional thinking that life is to be absent offense is one of those more overwrought and under-investigated symptoms of the blithering obliviousness that characterizes contemporary American existence (a worthwhile essay topic, but not for today).

In short. Were you offended? Yes? Good. gently caress you.

Where I am regretful is more a matter of poorly considered framing; “I was in bed thinking...what is the impact on the shithead’s career.” (I actually composed the tweet in my head 15 minutes after my first coffee) What was meant to be mordantly sardonic read as the typical “completely unrehearsed inspiration” that is the default tone of the mini-blog. It allows for a reading where it appears I may not be in full appreciation of the significantly objectionable nature of what I wrote.

No. I meant it. I deliberately chose creepy-looking sitcom personality Danny Masterson because his crimes, his response, and his trial are one of the most recent stains on the collective conscious and one where pretty much everyone was on the same page in their reaction and those who were not were roundly castigated for good reason.

I chose to poke the sacrosanct bear that is the narrative of Danny Masterson and his cult enablers because I was pissed. Really loving pissed after spending three goddam days watching ostensible social justice holly homemakers along with their digital mobs of political science graduates of Reddit State celebrating in the wake of the coordinated and deliberate slaughter of hundreds of Israelis, most of whom were in positions or contexts that assured limited or no means to fight back. Whooping it up or, arguable more objectionably, engaging in some mock-kabuki solemnity whereby the atrocities are divorced from their obvious transgression of human decency beyond reason “because of the inexorable thrust of history”. Hell, finding instances of even the typically requisite rhetorical foreplay; acknowledging that the unquestioned and uncontested actions of Hamas’ gibbering thugs were A. Bad. Thing. I had a knot in my stomach going on three days that wouldn’t release as I saw example after example of people I liked, admired or just unfortunately found myself once adjacent to demonstrate that because the Ethnic SEO pulled up such recent keyword flags like “colonial” “occupation” and even “genocide” that the quality of unarmed, ununiformed life was lesser than what was necessary to merit a loving emoji shrug.

So yeah. I meant to be loving offensive because, believe or not, what I had been seeing up until then was fairly loving offensive. All of a sudden every Jewish paranoia that infected my family for generations rang true. Every memory of family kindly reminding me to keep in touch more was recast with existential import . The sinking feeling that I pushed to the side in my brain after Tree of Life, after Kanye/Elon after every “Globalist” and “Soros” utterance, that feeling that somehow the pews weren’t as full for this rendition of Hate and Rejection call and response theater. For four days it’s been laid bare that the past 45 years of my life trying to give a gently caress and make a difference where possible, to stick my neck out and use my rarefied platform (which damaged my career time and time again), all of that was a loving scam. The sucker’s bargain in passively believing that the social compact would still hold even when it got complex, when it got complicated. When it inconveniently requires separating the act from the movement, holding two miscegenating thoughts in your head simultaneously, sacrificing the bravado to show how hard, how loyal to ideology you can be, sacrificing the approbation for once in your empty, lovely lives. When it finally required that the scales fell from the eyes and oh so few of us were left and we had a big, yellow loving twinkling target on our chests.

So yeah, I took a big loving dump on your Danny Masterson Rape Culture is Bad Maypole Dance because I felt like upsetting people. Consider it to be the result of inexorable historical precedents after the distracting toothsome smiles from all you loving goyim and shiksas gave way to awareness of the rhinestone leash you slipped around our necks. I only regret the distracting framework of the tweet because it undermined just how much I loving meant it.

It’s 1:30 on October 11th, Steve “David Duke without the baggage” Scalise is about to become Speaker of the House and I couldn’t give a rat’s rear end as to what happens because, whatever wicked poo poo it is, it ain’t going to be about me because at least that’s politically unwise right now. I’m refreshing the Haaretz live updates page waiting for the invasion of the slowly starving residents of Gaza in my name without my consent which will most certainly make any outward display of my heritage even less wise than normal. I’m researching all the possible primary opponents to sitting DSA congresspeople for donation. I’m having serious discussions with The Wife about moving to Israel (if it’s still standing), which requires moving to family I rejected because of their stance on Netanyahu and Palestine, because I watched a segment of American society dissipate with gleeful alacrity before my eyes.

Checking one last time: 1,200 dead in 128 hours and the flags are still waving because it’s just jews.

Spare me your outrage.

I give this meltdown a 1....out of 5.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:21

1glitch0: Sep 4, 2018; I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT SHE BELIEVES THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS CHANGED MY LIFE #HUFFLEPUFF

Teabag Dome Scandal posted:

Is this a direct to video south park movie??

Fun fact: They're making Paramount+ "specials" now instead of television "seasons" after HBO Max had bought the syndication rights for the next several "seasons" and were told the "specials" are something else and exclusive to Paramount+.

Now there's a lawsuit.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:21

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

https://twitter.com/JRubinBlogger/status/1712549278940541082?s=20
https://twitter.com/JRubinBlogger/status/1712462453576237221?s=20
https://twitter.com/JRubinBlogger/status/1712528688288235779?s=20

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:23

Trabisnikof: Dec 24, 2005

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/JRubinBlogger/status/1712528688288235779?s=20

I wonder why Stephen Paddock doesn�t count�.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:39

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Trump's dad and Netanyahu were good friends.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:39

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/JRubinBlogger/status/1712528688288235779?s=20

It's like 10 9/11s all at once!

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:41

Scarabrae: Oct 7, 2002

FlapYoJacks posted:

Trump is going to win, and America deserves everything that is coming to them. DT{A,I}

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:48

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1712570431926890663?s=20

Secretary of State Antony Blinken expressed revulsion at photographic evidence showing the atrocities committed by Hamas against civilians in Israel, including young children and babies.

https://thehill.com/policy/internat...KLSr8VoSDAWT630

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:51

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/1712494317024026761

...he's still using this insane metric???

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:52

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

"My family's flight from pogroms and the Holocaust means that the modern state of Israel should visit the same upon the Palestinians".

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:53

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

"Lisa said to everyone at the meeting that she will only vote for things that she knows will pass." -- A local pro-Palestine activist on my congressperson, Lisa Blunt Rochester, and soon to be US Senator in 2025.

Thank you for the fearless leadership, Representative!

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:55

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

Vote!

https://twitter.com/HuffPostPol/status/1712554086715752877?s=20

# ? Oct 12, 2023 21:58

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Uncle Wemus posted:

https://twitter.com/JRubinBlogger/status/1712549278940541082?s=20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a90Bsx3g7rY

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:05

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

loquacius posted:

https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/1712494317024026761

...he's still using this insane metric???

Look, if you just exclude all the things you need to live, and don�t add up all those months (which come out to around +65%) then we beat inflation!

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:06

Teabag Dome Scandal: Mar 19, 2002

Uncle Wemus posted:

Vote!

https://twitter.com/HuffPostPol/status/1712554086715752877?s=20

drat, difi died in the nick of time

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:06

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

i love viral moments like covid-19 killing herman cain

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:06

Deified Data: Nov 3, 2015; Fun Shoe

So I was on a SA break for a year or so - did someone buy all these bernie avatars?

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:06

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

yeah, maybe the IDF are exaggerating a bit. i don't loving care. these are not appropriate subjects for this level of pedantry

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:06

Pepe Silvia Browne: Jan 1, 2007

Deified Data posted:

So I was on a SA break for a year or so - did someone buy all these bernie avatars?

wait'll you hear about the guy who can't stop buying new accounts

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:07

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

Bishyaler posted:

Ah yes, another round of "It technically isn't bribery because they didn't receive the money in a large sack labeled $$BRIBE MONEY$$"

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:15

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

it's only bribery if it's not from the Capitol Hill region of DC; if it is it's just sparkling-clean campaign contributions

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:20

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

loquacius posted:

it's only bribery if it's not from the Capitol Hill region of DC; if it is it's just sparkling-clean campaign contributions

I understand that the lib's thrive on technicalities and "Actually...", but jesus, the lack of self awareness necessary to maintain that lifestyle is aggravating to behold.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:23

Phone: Jul 30, 2005; 親子丼をほしい。

Maximo Roboto posted:

lmao bodied by Will Stancil

https://twitter.com/whstancil/status/1712500642890063978

did noah do that though? I�m not paying for a membership to the atlantic to see if diet matty made a factual claim or not

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:30

HallelujahLee: May 3, 2009

FlapYoJacks posted:

Look, if you just exclude all the things you need to live, and don�t add up all those months (which come out to around +65%) then we beat inflation!

a very smart profession economics

# ? Oct 12, 2023 22:30

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

mark immune posted:

how many y'all like sess?

# ? Oct 12, 2023 23:09

Some Guy TT: Aug 30, 2011

Rectal Death Adept posted:

I think this is pretty accurate

Biden is objectively worse than Trump so in a face off the only sane choice is not voting. If you simply refuse to not vote then the only moral vote is for Trump.

RFK is kinda nuts sometimes, but less insane than Trump.
RFK has also identified the corrupt bureaucracy as being our problem and has positions left of center, which is infinitely better than Biden.

So anyone on the fence who can't stand the thought of the world sliding into even more poo poo with a late stage dementia rapist in Reagan's fourth term who might have voted for Trump out of desperation is more likely to vote for RFK.

its worth noting that rfk jr is the only candidate whos taking a hard line on climate change so anyone who actually believes the outcome of this election could have apocalyptic implications because of climate policy is lying to themselves and everyone around them if they claim thats the reason we need to support joe biden

# ? Oct 12, 2023 23:13

Some Guy TT: Aug 30, 2011

"I hereby demand a full apology from the failing Forbes Magazine, and their third-rate psycho writer, Dan Alexander, for the many false and libelous articles they have written about me, and for the cooperation they have given to the Racist and Incompetent A.G. of New York State, Peekaboo James," Trump wrote on the social media site, Truth Social.

There has been much media speculation about Trump's ongoing use of the term "Peekaboo" to describe James, with some wondering if it is an oblique reference to the racial slur "Jigaboo."

# ? Oct 12, 2023 23:15

Maximo Roboto: Feb 4, 2012

Phone posted:

did noah do that though? I�m not paying for a membership to the atlantic to see if diet matty made a factual claim or not

He did and he's coping

https://twitter.com/nkulw/status/1712569183274205439

# ? Oct 12, 2023 23:25

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Deified Data posted:

I'd honestly be fine with Trump and Biden just swapping back and forth forever

))<>((

# ? Oct 12, 2023 23:25

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

Maximo Roboto posted:

He did and he's coping

https://twitter.com/nkulw/status/1712569183274205439

Idk I think Noah stays winning here, going from being a Republican to a Democrat and acting like you've done something spectacular is pathetic (like everything the creature Stancil does)

# ? Oct 12, 2023 23:29