The USA Goonfund: GOONS NEED MONEY RIGHT NOW

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The USA Goonfund: GOONS NEED MONEY RIGHT NOW

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

omg chael crash posted:

Okay, sorry — didn’t went to be a bother

You are not a bother. It's hard for me to ask for help too but that's the point of Goon Fund.

syntaxfunction posted:

So we should be laundering money from international sources to the US to donate? That seems like it'd work with zero consequences.

Yes this is a comedy forum and jokes are expected but the US government is very strict about this and has no sense of humor so please don't do this.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 03:50

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# ? May 29, 2024 15:24

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

syntaxfunction posted:

So we should be laundering money from international sources to the US to donate? That seems like it'd work with zero consequences.

Jokes are fine, saying things that could cause a lot of hardship and/or close down a source of help for goons are not. Don't joke like this.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 03:53

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

A Terrible Person posted:

I'd love to help, but I lost my job and am going into rehab.

I'd like to think that my contributions in both this thread and its predecessor helped some Goons. Maybe not, since I was one of the guys who got fleeced in the past thread, but I would still do it again in a second.

Stay safe, y'all. And keep being awesome for each other.

You don't sound like a terrible person at all, awful user name post combo.

:sympathy:

# ? Sep 29, 2023 04:17

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

really queer Christmas posted:

setting up a specific non-american version

how doable is this? obviously any tax status for it is out the window, but would it be a huge hassle to set up a catch-all non-exempt? would it be easier if it was entirely seperately managed by different people?

# ? Sep 29, 2023 04:24

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

Duly noted, I have gone ahead and edited it. My bad

I was not actually aware how strictly it would be taken or I wouldn't have posted it, apologies.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 08:53

bleachneedle: Aug 6, 2004; Happy Frog

Goon Fund helped me out these past few months when thing were REALLY bad for me. I'm in a better spot now, so I sent some money to the Cashapp account to help others out. Good luck to everyone out there who is struggling right now.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 20:47

kingcobweb: Apr 16, 2005

Cactus Ghost posted:

how doable is this? obviously any tax status for it is out the window, but would it be a huge hassle to set up a catch-all non-exempt? would it be easier if it was entirely seperately managed by different people?

We did no-formal-organization facilitation of person-to-person assistance for months. I�d encourage non-Americans to set up a thread to do the same.

# ? Sep 29, 2023 20:54

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

syntaxfunction posted:

Duly noted, I have gone ahead and edited it. My bad

I was not actually aware how strictly it would be taken or I wouldn't have posted it, apologies.

I wouldn't sweat it, the rest of the quoters should edit as well.

Shooting 50 towards the fund. Hopefully, the shutdown won't happen, because it can easily gently caress some people. Food-scarce, health care, all that can be affected.

Press on!

can you post the Venmo name to send to? I'm assuming it's just @usgoonfund, but if someone can confirm, so we all know?

blight rhino fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Sep 30, 2023

# ? Sep 30, 2023 02:30

.random: May 7, 2007

blight rhino posted:

I wouldn't sweat it, the rest of the quoters should edit as well.

Shooting 50 towards the fund. Hopefully, the shutdown won't happen, because it can easily gently caress some people. Food-scarce, health care, all that can be affected.

Press on!

can you post the Venmo name to send to? I'm assuming it's just @usgoonfund, but if someone can confirm, so we all know?

From earlier in the thread, last line here confirms the username:

really queer Christmas posted:

For whatever reason, the venmo link only works on phone. Desktop venmo doesn't let you do anything except personal stuff. We can't even access the fund's venmo from desktop outside of reporting (which isn't available on mobile lol) I hate it but thems the breaks.

If the link isn't working for you on your phone, try this one:

https://www.paypal.com/qrcodes/venmocs/09b9a52c-58a5-4d43-940d-547639cd7c1b?created=1687376305

Its the same link you'd get if you scanned a qr code so it should work. If not, try our username - @usgoonfund

# ? Sep 30, 2023 03:56

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

.random posted:

From earlier in the thread, last line here confirms the username:

Thanks, bud. Thought I did see it before, but wasn't positive.

another 50 through PayPal.

since people are helpful, and I don't want to re-read the whole thread, is there one preferred method of donation?

blight rhino fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Sep 30, 2023

# ? Sep 30, 2023 04:27

.random: May 7, 2007

Edit: deleting this post as it seems no longer correct yay

.random fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Sep 30, 2023

# ? Sep 30, 2023 19:46

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

I just made two edits to the OP based on information we have gathered this morning in the CSPAM thread. Those are:

quote:

9/30 Update: We have turned on ACH via STRIPE now. Please see the Stripe links in the next post as ACH is the cheapest way to process payments. PLEASE BE WARNED THAT ACH MEANS YOU MUST HAVE CASH IN YOUR ACCOUNT ON THAT TIME YOU SELECT OR BOTH OF US WILL INCUR NSF FEES!!!

9/30 Edit: We managed to bang rocks together until we figured out Stripe has a customer portal. Check it out here. If you are still having trouble or can't access your account through this link...

The first link will take you to the CSPAM thread that lists all the Stripe methods (It's also in the OP for this thread). The second link allows you to manage your stripe subscription if you set one up via email. Previously, you had to go through us to manage it. But stripe apparently had this feature all along and just... didn't enable it????

Anyway, cheapest and now preferred method is ACH via stripe as the fee is 0.8% compared to venmo's 1.75%. Though like venmo, if you do not have cash on the date of the bank debit, you will incur NSF fees (we will as well). So if you are doing recurring donations and are more likely to be cash poor, we suggest you stick with a card.

# ? Sep 30, 2023 20:09

Sing like a girl: Aug 8, 2011

Thank you for the donation I don�t know how to summarize what has happened to me in the last few months and nobody contacted me to clarify which I did expect. Then got a donation out of nowhere - but to cut a long story short I bought a Victorian house in the Midwest 5 years ago then my business took on serious debt due to Covid and then the house fell apart in the last 2 months to repairs I could not afford. The chimney fell in. I have had to sell the house to a we buy houses for cash company. It cleared much of the debt but the trauma has screwed me up so much and the stress of it, I�ve been really unable to work. been literally looking at homelessness in a shelter with stupidly needy Sphynx cats I am gently caress terrified of having to rehome. I was actually offered a place in a shelter after giving my story - which also terrified me. I am gently caress terrified of losing my cats. I am fuckinb terrified of not being able to work from the stress. I am currently trying to move everything I own to an apartment and still not sure I can pick up work or even if I do, if my business will survive letting so many people down. I am looking at going on welfare if I can;t recover from this stress. So thank you because this donation has floated me. I have secured an apartment on basically nothing I was down to nothing and I have to pull mysekf together. Have to be out of my house in 3 days.

ETA: I am just a lurker did not expect such kindness thank you.

Sing like a girl fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Sep 30, 2023

# ? Sep 30, 2023 20:59

JAY ZERO SUM GAME: Oct 18, 2005; Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.

Everyone deserves kindness

# ? Oct 1, 2023 00:11

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

Sing like a girl posted:

Thank you for the donation I don�t know how to summarize what has happened to me in the last few months and nobody contacted me to clarify which I did expect. Then got a donation out of nowhere - but to cut a long story short I bought a Victorian house in the Midwest 5 years ago then my business took on serious debt due to Covid and then the house fell apart in the last 2 months to repairs I could not afford. The chimney fell in. I have had to sell the house to a we buy houses for cash company. It cleared much of the debt but the trauma has screwed me up so much and the stress of it, I�ve been really unable to work. been literally looking at homelessness in a shelter with stupidly needy Sphynx cats I am gently caress terrified of having to rehome. I was actually offered a place in a shelter after giving my story - which also terrified me. I am gently caress terrified of losing my cats. I am fuckinb terrified of not being able to work from the stress. I am currently trying to move everything I own to an apartment and still not sure I can pick up work or even if I do, if my business will survive letting so many people down. I am looking at going on welfare if I can;t recover from this stress. So thank you because this donation has floated me. I have secured an apartment on basically nothing I was down to nothing and I have to pull mysekf together. Have to be out of my house in 3 days.

ETA: I am just a lurker did not expect such kindness thank you.

best luck to you.

i don't know how much we (the collective we as Goons) can help, but I wish the best for you.

# ? Oct 1, 2023 09:59

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

really queer Christmas posted:

I just made two edits to the OP based on information we have gathered this morning in the CSPAM thread. Those are:

The first link will take you to the CSPAM thread that lists all the Stripe methods (It's also in the OP for this thread). The second link allows you to manage your stripe subscription if you set one up via email. Previously, you had to go through us to manage it. But stripe apparently had this feature all along and just... didn't enable it????

Anyway, cheapest and now preferred method is ACH via stripe as the fee is 0.8% compared to venmo's 1.75%. Though like venmo, if you do not have cash on the date of the bank debit, you will incur NSF fees (we will as well). So if you are doing recurring donations and are more likely to be cash poor, we suggest you stick with a card.

thank you for that information. sending some more your way once I get stripe figured out.

# ? Oct 1, 2023 10:01

Velvet Sparrow: May 15, 2006; 'Hope' is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune, without the words, and never stops--at all.

I was just diagnosed with critical aortic stenosis because I apparently have at least 2, possibly 3, defective heart valves. Turns out I was born with bifurcated heart valves instead of the standard trifurcated valves, so my heart isn't working for crap and I need a valve job.

BUT-- I have medical/dental procedures not covered by my insurance that MUST be done before my heart surgery-- it's literally a life or death issue, and the clock is ticking.
I've recently started a GoFundMe to help pay for the stuff my insurance won't cover.

Is it cool to post a link to my GoFundMe here?
I mean, after all, I gotta stay kickin' so I can keep doing Chickam, right? :henget:

# ? Oct 2, 2023 08:58

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Velvet Sparrow posted:

I was just diagnosed with critical aortic stenosis because I apparently have at least 2, possibly 3, defective heart valves. Turns out I was born with bifurcated heart valves instead of the standard trifurcated valves, so my heart isn't working for crap and I need a valve job.

BUT-- I have medical/dental procedures not covered by my insurance that MUST be done before my heart surgery-- it's literally a life or death issue, and the clock is ticking.
I've recently started a GoFundMe to help pay for the stuff my insurance won't cover.

Is it cool to post a link to my GoFundMe here?
I mean, after all, I gotta stay kickin' so I can keep doing Chickam, right?

Unfortunately, we've put a moratorium on personal GoFundMes and the like. As much as I want to say yes, site policy says no.

Happy to take this to PMs if you want to discuss further.

# ? Oct 2, 2023 16:21

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

e- dumb post

# ? Oct 3, 2023 02:06

VplDyln: Oct 24, 2022

Sorry for posting. I submitted one a few days ago, but I am very unsure if I did it correctly. I do not have plat.

# ? Oct 7, 2023 22:35

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

VplDyln posted:

Sorry for posting. I submitted one a few days ago, but I am very unsure if I did it correctly. I do not have plat.

We sent you an email yesterday, please respond to it when you get a chance!

# ? Oct 8, 2023 03:12

VplDyln: Oct 24, 2022

really queer Christmas posted:

We sent you an email yesterday, please respond to it when you get a chance!

Just did sorry; gmail put it in spam for some reason. I have so many thousands of unread emails, I got gmail as beta invite in 04 so wow I feel old.

# ? Oct 8, 2023 06:21

Blood Nightmaster: Sep 6, 2011; “また遊んであげるわ！”

Goonfund has really saved my rear end the past few months in the midst of a precarious employment situation and I'm immensely grateful for it, seriously, it's been a big help :sweatdrop:

# ? Oct 8, 2023 15:38

No. 6: Jun 30, 2002

Tossing a penny in the well. Good luck to all.

# ? Oct 8, 2023 16:41

VplDyln: Oct 24, 2022

My god, thank you all so very much. SA has been one of the biggest parts of my life for so long, I just don't know what to say. Thank you.

# ? Oct 8, 2023 23:34

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

VplDyln posted:

My god, thank you all so very much. SA has been one of the biggest parts of my life for so long, I just don't know what to say. Thank you.

# ? Oct 9, 2023 05:08

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

VplDyln posted:

My god, thank you all so very much. SA has been one of the biggest parts of my life for so long, I just don't know what to say. Thank you.

# ? Oct 9, 2023 05:38

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

just kidding, irony poisoned brain at work. im happy folks are getting help

# ? Oct 9, 2023 05:38

Sing like a girl: Aug 8, 2011

Admin Edit: This post has been moved to protect the privacy of the poster. We have reached out to them to provide them assistance.

_{_{_{Edited Oct 11, 2023 11:09 AM}}}

# ? Oct 11, 2023 14:53

Scam Likely: Feb 19, 2021

Threw some more into the pot!

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:40

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

So that was. Something. I hope they find help. throwin' some dolla dolla bills, y'all, youre way.

# ? Oct 14, 2023 07:07

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Cactus Ghost posted:

just kidding, irony poisoned brain at work. im happy folks are getting help

Hopefully they find the right chiropractor

# ? Oct 15, 2023 05:42

emSparkly: Nov 21, 2022; I'm open to interpretation!

I didn't get any messages but I did get the money I needed, so as far as I'm concerned the system is working great :buddy:

# ? Oct 16, 2023 00:31

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

Crossposting this - If you are interested in joining the debates or votes/nominations, please keep the dates and head to the main CSPAM thread. I will try to make an announcement here as well, when they go live. But again, debates for the constitution amendments are already ongoing... and pretty much everyone has said yeah im good with it lol.

really queer Christmas posted:

SEPTEMBER 2023 FINANCIALS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS

A bit late, but I wanted to present this along with these set of announcements.

First off, the committee held the first full meeting! We're like a real company now! We had a bunch of things we discussed and it took us about an hour. We have a summary here if you'd like to see it. Though I am also going to quickly hit the important points below so, there's going to be reading either way.

First off, we agreed to have more meetings in the future. That's right - a bunch of useless meetings, just what you want to hear we are doing. The point of these 'official' meetings is more to touch base on subjects and have a more formal structure to make sure the government knows the charity is legit. We don't want to seem like we are trying to take advantage of tax free status.

Secondly... the issue of using google docs for financials. It's been great because it's free and there has definitely been a couple times this year that a sudden $50 - $100 charge would be the difference between an NSF or our debit card getting declined when giving money out. However, we really need some sort of accounting software that can easily keep track of things for us and present things in a readable manner for you guys and governments. I personally have experience in quickbooks enterprise, but I've heard... less than wonderful things about quickbooks online - the much cheaper version. If anyone has more experience in other softwares that can recommend one that's cheap but still quite functional or well suited to us, we are definitely all ears.

Thirdly... and a very big one... the committee voted unanimously to present a couple of constitutional amendments to the Membership of the fund for adoption. Those are:

The committee will have quarterly calendar meetings with an annual meeting in October (January, April, July, October).

The committee will be redefined to have 3 non working members and 5 working members. The 5 working members and 3 non-working members can overlap.

Any future members of the committee are required to give their name and address to the committee for the fund to keep record for the purpose of legal protection (ie, we need to tell the government that John/Jane Smith is affiliated with the Fund and not Leninlover69 [I stole this joke from KCW ])

Amendment to section 9 stating that a person must be a member of Something Awful for at least 6 months to apply. If they are under 6 months then they need to either be a recognized figure in the community, have someone vouch for them, or require some way to communicate with the committee to be able to state their case.

First amendment is easy, we just need to formalize it to look more legitimate.

Second one... is a big one. We had a lot of discussion on this and the purpose of this delination in the committee is to recognize that, if; through elections, personal choice, unfortunate circumstances - one of the three main directors are unable to perform as directors... there's a lot of paperwork involved. As of right now, Speng, Kingcobweb, and myself are directors of the US Goon fund. Which means we are personally on all the paperwork with the states, payment processors, and the IRS. If something happens to one of us that we cannot serve on the committee - there's a metric shitton of paperwork to file to get rid of one of us, even potentially having to move the state we are incorporated in.

However, we also want to recognize that despite this restriction, it shouldn't mean that us three get a permanent stranglehold on power or there's no way to get us to gently caress off if we are no longer performing our tasks in a just manner, or hell, even just for us to take a break. As such, we want to still present 5 working members - so that, theoretically, all three of us could be figureheads that don't really deal with the day to day, or even be involved in the fund at all - but still stay on to deal with the major paperwork/government audits/ etc. With this breakdown, us three can still serve our roles as 'Directors' and if we get voted out of those roles, the membership understands the significance of that action.

We also toyed around with the idea of expanding the committee or breaking each member of the committee into clearly defined roles, but ultimately decided on the above proposal.

Third Amendment is, again, more of a legal protection as mentioned. We will NOT be releasing this information to the public at all. We see no reason why the government would release that information, the only reason we are keeping it is so we can refer to you by your actual name with the government. If privacy concerns were a reason why you didn't want to be on the committee before, we believe this should ease those worries while still making sure the Fund does have some protection against legal liability. If we are wrong - nonprofit lawyers we are ALL EARS!!

Fourth Amendment was already discussed in the thread, and this is more of formalizing what the thread and committee agreed on.

ALL OF THESE PROPOSALS ARE NOW SUBJECT TO DEBATE. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LET US KNOW HOW YOU THINK THEY CAN BE MADE BETTER AND WE CAN EDIT THE AMENDMENTS TO FIT WHAT THE MEMBERSHIP WANTS!!!

Debate on these proposals are open until the end of the month, at which point we will begin a week long voting session approving/voting them down. These amendments have passed the committee unanimously, and will be approved if 50% + 1 voters approve them.

IF YOU HAVE A PROPOSAL FOR AN AMENDMENT, NOW IS THE TIME TO SUGGEST AND PROPOSE IT.

The committee will have to approve it by 3/5 vote and then it can be presented to the membership for voting.

Quickly running through the remainder of items, we are planning to have the April Fundraiser prizes finished by the end of the month - one way or another. Nominations for the committee is set to begin after voting on the amendments has wrapped up around 11/7 & voting will begin on 11/14 and continue for 7 days thereafter. Mark those dates if you want to participate!

I may have missed some things so please, feel free to ask questions!!

VOTING SCHEDULE

10/17 - 10/31: Debate on Amendments

11/01 - 11/07: Voting on Amendments

11/08 - 11/13: Nominations for Committee (Non-working & Working if amendment passes)

11/14 - 11/20: Voting for Committee Members

11/21 - Voting Closes and results announced

# ? Oct 19, 2023 02:48

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

I'm really impressed at how formal this is. Like y'all doing this by the absolute book, which is great!

# ? Oct 19, 2023 04:54

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020

im in a pretty desperate situation but feel embarrassed to ask for anything considering how recent i still am. im not real goon...

# ? Oct 19, 2023 16:38

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

I will fight anyone irl hwo says cumpantry ain't a goon

Trading card battles only though I'm too pretty for bruises

# ? Oct 19, 2023 16:44

Presto: Nov 22, 2002; Keep calm and Harry on.

Your username is cumpantry. You are a real goon.

# ? Oct 19, 2023 16:44

Blood Nightmaster: Sep 6, 2011; “また遊んであげるわ！”

cumpantry posted:

im in a pretty desperate situation but feel embarrassed to ask for anything considering how recent i still am. im not real goon...

Please don't be afraid to ask for help, that's what this is here for. You're real, you're here and you're posting!! I know 2020 feels like it happened yesterday but that's three whole years ago ~~my god I'm crumbling to dust~~

# ? Oct 19, 2023 16:48

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# ? May 29, 2024 15:24

cumpantry: Dec 18, 2020

okok.. im hittin it!! :f5:

# ? Oct 19, 2023 16:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The USA Goonfund: GOONS NEED MONEY RIGHT NOW

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