(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Man my body has just been hyper stressed recently for no apparent reason. Heart's been feeling sore, bodys been exhausted, and muscles have been tense for like over 24 hours, had trouble sleeping on top of that. I'm 30 and only a bit overweight, every time I've been to the doctor they've told me I have normal blood pressure, and I did once go to the ER just a few months and had a perfectly normal EKG; so I'm not *too* worried about heart disease. But man I feel like I'm not gonna have a good time at work today. I was really stressed over the past few weeks but the ironic thing is that right now I feel basically fine psychologically, it's just this internal problem that's causing the pain
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Oct 3, 2023 13:49
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StashAugustine posted:Man my body has just been hyper stressed recently for no apparent reason. Heart's been feeling sore, bodys been exhausted, and muscles have been tense for like over 24 hours, had trouble sleeping on top of that. I'm 30 and only a bit overweight, every time I've been to the doctor they've told me I have normal blood pressure, and I did once go to the ER just a few months and had a perfectly normal EKG; so I'm not *too* worried about heart disease. But man I feel like I'm not gonna have a good time at work today. I was really stressed over the past few weeks but the ironic thing is that right now I feel basically fine psychologically, it's just this internal problem that's causing the pain Probably won't help, but there's a kind of body scan I like to do. I'm sure you can find a good one online but basically you start with your toes, tense, release. Then up from there, tense, release. Slowly, one muscle group at a time until you're at your forehead, cause those get tensed all day. The idea is that it's hard to just "meditate" and relax when there's adrenaline and energy in your body. So the tensing helps prime the muscles for relaxing.
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Oct 3, 2023 21:37
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thehandtruck posted:Probably won't help, but there's a kind of body scan I like to do. I'm sure you can find a good one online but basically you start with your toes, tense, release. Then up from there, tense, release. Slowly, one muscle group at a time until you're at your forehead, cause those get tensed all day. The idea is that it's hard to just "meditate" and relax when there's adrenaline and energy in your body. So the tensing helps prime the muscles for relaxing. Thanks yeah, that does help sometimes. It was kinda funny I managed to calm down before work and immediately realized the tension was masking the fact that I was extremely tired lol
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Oct 3, 2023 22:07
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I am straight up having a bad time. 7 people at my job got laid off, including the very nice person that sat next to me and manager who taught me a lot of poo poo. First time I’ve been though this and I was already not doing awesome. I swear my coping skills have gotten worse, but maybe that’s so I can be mad at myself rather than anything else.
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Oct 5, 2023 00:51
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drat dude that loving sucks. There is evil in the idea of companies just throwing away people that molded their entire lives around working for them. I hate professional culture and all the blind trust that's required in an employer.
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Oct 6, 2023 16:16
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My new medication allows me to take better care of myself after a long time of neglect, but I keep having very depressing thoughts. Its very strange for me to be doing everything that would seem to help me get out of this hole (working out, looking for a job, keeping in contact with friends) but I'm still feeling terrible.
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Oct 7, 2023 06:25
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oh gently caress me, my lawyer thought my case was sufficiently hopeless, either appealing or filing a new claim, they dropped me. 4 years down the shitter, for nothing.
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Oct 10, 2023 15:11
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asked for a mental health appointment, shout out to me.
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Oct 14, 2023 01:49
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Consummate Professional posted:asked for a mental health appointment, shout out to me. Hell yeah hope it works out for you
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Oct 14, 2023 03:25
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I've been pretty upset about the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians in Gaza! I feel like all I can do is watch and be a Posting Warrior (twitter, not here). Yelling at zionists is fun but I know it is not productive in a meaningful way. I have a buddy in Israel who has the only appropriate attitude towards the government there, which is one of condemnation about the apartheid and occupation. I also have some muslim friends here that have basically stopped talking to me because I have a buddy in Israel. I am mad at my muslim friends because my Israel buddy is as culpable for the crimes of his government as I am for the crimes of America. It feels annoying. I am trying to not confront my muslim friends about this because I don't want to make the events about myself but it is very frustrating and I feel like I have fewer comrades even though we are all ideologically aligned.
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Oct 17, 2023 01:45
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Jorge Bell posted:I've been pretty upset about the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians in Gaza! I feel like all I can do is watch and be a Posting Warrior (twitter, not here). Yelling at zionists is fun but I know it is not productive in a meaningful way. Yeah I get what you're saying here, obviously first the tragedy of the violence gets to you. But yeah it sucks personally when tempers run hot and it's hard to just relate to people, even (and perhaps especially) when there's something important at stake
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Oct 17, 2023 01:58
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Thanks for the thought Stash. Unrelated- also I am loving jewish and I am tired of concerns over the safety of "my" people being used to justify ethnic cleansing and apartheid. It is hard to not feel dejected when the opposition is so loving stupid and cruel and has all the reach that empire can buy. The paranoia borne from the holocaust has effectively turned Israel into the 4th Reich and it's so loving disgusting and humiliating.
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Oct 17, 2023 02:15
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Everyone around me seems to be going insane. My family is either in full on denial thinking the world's an amazing place and will keep getting better and better or ranting about how WW3 is right around the corner. They seem to think I'm either a child, a radical or "relentlessly negative". I fell like I have no community and at my age I will never find it. People online keep suggesting stuff like volunteering yet I am terrified of getting mugged and honestly feel to exhausted to do anything after work. Cleaning feels like work, cooking feels like work, fun feels like work. Therapist claims I'm only "mildly" depressed. Doctors say I am fine because I can still work. I am all alone. I joined a book club with some cool people though. That's nice.
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Oct 18, 2023 15:05
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AceOfFlames posted:I joined a book club with some cool people though. That's nice. Would love to know more about this Ace. Do you meet every week, and is there a theme? I live in a very remote part of the country, and I wish something like this was more accessible here.
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Oct 18, 2023 16:17
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Josherino posted:Would love to know more about this Ace. Do you meet every week, and is there a theme? It meets once a month. Doesn't stick to a specific theme.
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Oct 19, 2023 17:01
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AceOfFlames posted:It meets once a month. Doesn't stick to a specific theme. That's pretty loving cool. I've never been a part of anything like that before. What book are you going to be reading? I've been trying to find something new to read while I'm away for a few days at a time.
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Oct 19, 2023 20:55
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Jorge Bell posted:I've been pretty upset about the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians in Gaza! I feel like all I can do is watch and be a Posting Warrior (twitter, not here). Yelling at zionists is fun but I know it is not productive in a meaningful way. It seems like there's too much focus on the individual here. It's not like you or your Israeli friend are going to singlehandedly save Palestine. If you're showing solidarity and helping with your part that's as much as you can do. Apparently this guy who wrote the book I'm reading called Nonviolent Communication has a section about how he tried to do interpersonal communication between Palestinians and Israelis in the 90s I believe.
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Oct 20, 2023 05:52
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Man on top of being sleepy all the time I've developed a permanent low level headache. I did manage to get some decent sleep last night and a nap today, but I'm still not feeling great. Just hoping my appointment with a sleep doctor in December gets me some results without having to wait too much longer
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Oct 21, 2023 23:19
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StashAugustine posted:Man on top of being sleepy all the time I've developed a permanent low level headache. I did manage to get some decent sleep last night and a nap today, but I'm still not feeling great. Just hoping my appointment with a sleep doctor in December gets me some results without having to wait too much longer Change anything with your caffeine consumption lately?
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Oct 24, 2023 08:58
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Jorge Bell posted:Change anything with your caffeine consumption lately? Nah I've been sticking to exactly 1 cup of coffee in the morning for months now, no soda either. Might be some neck/eye strain from too much computer touching in there too, but can't think of any major physical/diet changes I've made recently. It is kinda funny that I feel like a third of the time I'm all fired up like I want to spend time with my family, want to make more friends and hang out with people more, want to learn more stuff about my job; and then the other two thirds I just want to curl up on the couch and sleep. At least I'm feeling good when I'm not feeling bad!
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Oct 24, 2023 13:10
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welp, I got the email I kept telling my family was coming yet they refused to believe: my landlord wants to sell the place. I don't know if my job will be stable, I don't know if I want to stay in this country but the whole tech sector is taking a poo poo everywhere, my savings keep dropping in value thanks to the currency exchange, it feels like I a, headed toward financial ruin yet everyone around me says everything is fine and the future will be fine, and I just need to stop thinking so long term, and I can't take it anymore. Even my therapist feels useless.
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Oct 24, 2023 23:24
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poo poo sucks. But even if your worst fears are true, would you be better off if you gave in and gave up? Or would future you look back and be like wow really wish you would have made the most while you could? That's how I frame it for myself at least
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Oct 25, 2023 00:07
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Venting at the expense of others is never okay. This forum welcomes posters from all backgrounds, and we encourage everyone who has the courage to share their story to be mindful of how we communicate our frustrations or stories. No one should, nor will they ever be allowed to deliberately insult or put down any given (potential) poster or group of posters. - Josherrino (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) Somebody has issued a correction as of 01:21 on Oct 27, 2023 |
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Oct 25, 2023 00:52
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has anyone here/anyone willing to talk about inpatient care? limp dick calvin has issued a correction as of 03:29 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 25, 2023 02:20
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StashAugustine posted:Nah I've been sticking to exactly 1 cup of coffee in the morning for months now, no soda either. Might be some neck/eye strain from too much computer touching in there too, but can't think of any major physical/diet changes I've made recently. I mean, not a doctor, but maybe your pituitary gland is out of whack?
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Oct 25, 2023 05:18
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I have very low self-esteem in a complete lack of anything resembling hope.
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Oct 25, 2023 05:37
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Zoeb posted:I have very low self-esteem in a complete lack of anything resembling hope. although it'd be better to have hope, you can get away with spite instead. spite is an extremely strong motivator and I want to see every cent of profit stolen from the working class taken away from the shareholder class, I want to see the imperial core go down in flames and the periphery rising up to overthrow the western shackles. I want revenge on the system that has taken so much away from me and people around me.
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Oct 25, 2023 06:32
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Xaris posted:although it'd be better to have hope, you can get away with spite instead. spite is an extremely strong motivator and I want to see every cent of profit stolen from the working class taken away from the shareholder class, I want to see the imperial core go down in flames and the periphery rising up to overthrow the western shackles. I want revenge on the system that has taken so much away from me and people around me. While I agree with that in principle, my worry is that I will be hurt in the process. I can only see total collapse. My only current goal in life seems to be "don't die in agony". And even that seems increasingly unattainable. AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 08:03 on Oct 25, 2023 |
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Oct 25, 2023 06:47
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Consummate Professional posted:has anyone here/anyone willing to talk about inpatient care? I went inpatient as a minor. I think it helped. I learned that exercise or any physical exertion is a great way to relieve my anxiety and how to better be in touch with what I am feeling and why. It wasn't perfect and I still wonder if I ever really needed to go inpatient. But it's not anything I regret doing. Is there something specific you wanted to know about?
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Oct 25, 2023 07:09
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Xaris posted:although it'd be better to have hope, you can get away with spite instead. spite is an extremely strong motivator and I want to see every cent of profit stolen from the working class taken away from the shareholder class, I want to see the imperial core go down in flames and the periphery rising up to overthrow the western shackles. I want revenge on the system that has taken so much away from me and people around me. hang on long enough and you'll become one of the grifters yourself
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Oct 25, 2023 15:06
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AceOfFlames posted:welp, I got the email I kept telling my family was coming yet they refused to believe: my landlord wants to sell the place. I don't know if my job will be stable, I don't know if I want to stay in this country but the whole tech sector is taking a poo poo everywhere, my savings keep dropping in value thanks to the currency exchange, it feels like I a, headed toward financial ruin yet everyone around me says everything is fine and the future will be fine, and I just need to stop thinking so long term, and I can't take it anymore. Even my therapist feels useless.
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Oct 25, 2023 15:12
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Consummate Professional posted:has anyone here/anyone willing to talk about inpatient care? it’s loving weird and bears a family resemblance to the old state hospital system, it can be a pricey vacation from responsibility that gets you out of an acutely bad headspace more or less intact but putting together long term support structures afterwards is on you. best case scenario is that they discover that your emotional disturbance is due to a benign thyroid tumor or something else that’s straightforwardly organic and fix you right up
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Oct 25, 2023 17:21
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Consummate Professional posted:has anyone here/anyone willing to talk about inpatient care? Chokes wrote up their experiences in an inpatient facility in the second or third post of the thread. Definitely worth a read!
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Oct 25, 2023 19:09
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Consummate Professional posted:has anyone here/anyone willing to talk about inpatient care? Everything was designed to get patients to survive the current day. No sharp anything, people looking in throughout the night, knocks on the shower door every couple of minutes asking if I was ok, etc. Kind of like triage but for basic survival. I was in a weird spot because my breakdown was triggered by drugs, so they really only had to monitor my vitals while I cleared enough of the SSRI to be safely left alone. YMMV but it was a positive experience that I am unbelievably lucky to have had access to.
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Oct 25, 2023 19:23
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thanks gang. I am feeling so incredibly stressed and feel my healthy coping skills slipping so I’m trying to figure out what options are out there to get help for when I talk to my therapist. my job is absolutely contributing and I’m thinking of quitting in January. that obviously brings a whole host of other issues. I thankfully have VA disability so I am very privileged that way. I may go to school full time for a semester with my GI bill and see about outpatient programs if possible. just trying to stop from getting into a really bad place
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Oct 25, 2023 19:46
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Consummate Professional posted:I thankfully have VA disability so I am very privileged that way. I may go to school full time for a semester with my GI bill and see about outpatient programs if possible. just trying to stop from getting into a really bad place Very proud of you for taking the initiative and for extending your personal experiences here. If you start school, what would you consider majoring in?
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Oct 26, 2023 04:06
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Hey gang, chiming in to say hi. still insanely stressed out/anxious/ generally going through it. I have a call with my regular therapist tomorrow and I’m going to see about intensive outpatient services. since work is driving a lot of the stress and probably incompatible with that schedule, I’m also going to ask about temporary disability so I can pay the bills. not sure how any of that works but it never hurts to ask. I’m also totally willing to get a part time gig, like a grocery store or something. One thing im just realizing, this sort of spiraling out happened around the same time last year. not sure if it’s because of my birthday or the cycles of the human brain. Josherino posted:Very proud of you for taking the initiative and for extending your personal experiences here. The local community/state college has a graphic design program. I have a bachelors in marketing but I suck rear end at graphic design so I figure it would be complementary but also a slate of intro classes wouldn’t be overdoing it.
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Nov 2, 2023 21:14
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can someone else post in here so this isn’t my journal? anyways, got referred to the substance abuse section (booze). I’m a lot more willing and ready to take it seriously this time
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Nov 4, 2023 05:19
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Eh sure. I keep overscheduling myself really badly and its making me fray a bit. I am not good at telling people 'no' or for that matter knowing my own limits, so I keep taking on new tasks and new projects and I'm currently at the point where I feel like I'm stretched to the point of being a fine gossamer of a person. Its possible this is all stuff that I could handle if I were more organized and disciplined and clever, but in practice I'm not.
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Nov 4, 2023 06:02
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My ability to execute on things I need to do is kind of hosed up right now, I bought a condo in July but have just holed up in it and have been putting off doing Necessary poo poo. Have to renew my car registration before I can get work, but that takes 8 individual steps to do and it is so easy to just not do any of them. Money is a non-factor for now so I have just been riding out this lifeline I've been given. I don't want to work and right now I don't feel any pressure to so I just don't do anything. I would say it kind of rules if I didn't also feel like a clock is ticking down.
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Nov 4, 2023 06:49
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