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(Thread IKs: weg, Toxic Mental)
 
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Neophyte
Apr 23, 2006

perennially
Taco Defender
https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2022/10/07/frozen-fish-and-limitless-cabbage-how-russia-is-motivating-draftees-a79019

Tuva, meanwhile, hit the jackpot

quote:

The rewards being handed out to the relatives of those enlisting include one live sheep, 50 kilograms of flour, two bags of potatoes and cabbage "in the required amount."

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Just Another Lurker
May 1, 2009

ZogrimAteMyHamster posted:



Another productive day at the Kremlin.

Took me a second. :rubby:

HonorableTB
Dec 22, 2006
Sometimes they get things that are extremely Warhammer 40k in nature, such as this Easter gift of Putin as a literal god emperor

https://www.thedailybeast.com/troops-furious-to-receive-bullshit-gift-of-putin-as-a-god

quote:

Troops Furious to Receive ‘Bullshit’ Gift Depicting Putin as a God

Russia’s Vladimir Putin has spent the past year ordering the genocide of Ukrainians and sending hundreds of thousands of his own citizens to die for him, but the Kremlin has now apparently sent a not-so-subtle hint to soldiers that they are meant to worship him.

Russian draftees from the Perm region sent to likely death in Ukraine say they were delighted to receive an Easter care package from Putin’s political party—until they realized it contained a quasi-religious icon featuring the face of the Russian leader.

When the package arrived, “We thought, they sent us something, they haven’t forgotten [about us], the [Easter] holiday is coming soon. But it turned out that it’s not about the holiday after all. No matter how much of a patriot of my homeland I may be, this is already complete bullshit,” one soldier told the local outlet Perm 36.6.

Photos of the “gift” show Putin featured in a mock religious icon, which are typically small paintings that traditionally depict saints. In case there were any doubt about the purpose of the memento, a note was scrawled on the packaging in large letters and bright red ink instructing troops that it was “for prayers.”

The latest religious propaganda, reportedly distributed by Putin’s ruling party, United Russia, comes after draftees reported receiving holy “protection candles” that promised to shield them from bullets last month.

It also comes as reports multiply of fed-up troops and their families personally calling out Putin as they complain of a bungled war effort.

Several families of men drafted from the autonomous republic of Tatarstan appealed directly to Putin in a video released Tuesday, saying commanders confiscated the men’s documents and phones before forcing them to go on a suicide mission that military leadership knew they wouldn’t come back from.

The commanders, according to one family member, didn’t even try to hide the true nature of the mission to reluctant soldiers, telling the whole regiment: “You die and Putin will send new ones.”

zone
Dec 6, 2016

Computer viking posted:

IIRC, those were all from different levels of regional governments. The federal government seems to either actually pay out the promised chunk of money, or completely deny that your husband/father/son ever existed and also he was never in the army, and he also deserted from it on the Russian side of the border. I have no idea what determines which one you're getting.

E: Or are the federal payouts only to surviving soldiers?

Many families report they never got all, or any of, the promised compensation money

QR Code Geass
Oct 25, 2023

HonorableTB posted:

Sometimes they get things that are extremely Warhammer 40k in nature, such as this Easter gift of Putin as a literal god emperor

https://www.thedailybeast.com/troops-furious-to-receive-bullshit-gift-of-putin-as-a-god



lol @ barnacle Putin

obligatory he is a real piece of poo poo

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

QR Code Geass posted:

barnacle Putin

:lol:

HonorableTB
Dec 22, 2006
The telegram fanfiction authors General SVR who brought you PUTIN CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR HAVING A HEART ATTACK have published a sequel

sauer kraut
Oct 2, 2004

Alan Smithee posted:

What’s the big deal the s400 successfully intercepted it

How are S-400 installations several 100 million dollars a piece :confused:
They look like 4 tubes on a yeah quite fancy, large truck.
No way are they in the same cost category as the 750M flagship cruiser that Russia lost.

sauer kraut fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Oct 26, 2023

Sedgr
Sep 16, 2007

Neat!

Every time it happens I mentally cross my fingers and hope its true, but that's about as far as it goes in believing those stories.

Still hope so.

Burns
May 10, 2008

A coup by Vladimir Putin to depose Vladimir Putin?

spankmeister
Jun 15, 2008






sauer kraut posted:

How are S-400 installations several 100 million dollars a piece :confused:
They look like 4 tubes on a yeah quite fancy, large truck.
No way are they in the same cost category as the 750M flagship cruiser that Russia lost.

It's not just the launcher but like the patriot system it has multiple launchers, at least two radars and a command unit.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

QR Code Geass posted:

lol @ barnacle Putin

lol

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
amortizing r&d, usually

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
Putin did die, and also while he was dying he pissed and pooped and rolled around in both while crying out "this is truly something awful" and I believe someone heard him try to mumble mangosteen before his heart exploded

Vaginaface
Aug 26, 2013

HEY REI HEY REI,
do vaginaface!

freelop posted:

By having a table that connects to itself Putin has created an infinitely long table.

Checkmate Westoids

This would be a much cooler table if it was also a mobius strip

Beffer
Sep 25, 2007

Oscar Wilde Bunch posted:

Our boy has got himself a new table.



It’s just the start of the next campaign. DM’s got himself a new game table. Half the players are dressed in character.


“After a long journey you arrive at the borderlands. You look around the tavern seeing adventurers like you, dusty and tired from weeks on the road.

“What do you do?”

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat
>> invade Ukraine
> "You were eaten by a grue."

Jonny Nox
Apr 26, 2008




HonorableTB posted:

The telegram fanfiction authors General SVR who brought you PUTIN CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR HAVING A HEART ATTACK have published a sequel



Won’t be satisfied until they report he lies paralyzed in a puddle of his own urine while everyone is afraid to call a doctor

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

The body double should prolly carry a few extra pairs of pants

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


one strong toad

Wait, how did two ATACMS destroy three S-400 installations? Did they build them on top of each other?

HonorableTB
Dec 22, 2006

EasilyConfused posted:

Wait, how did two ATACMS destroy three S-400 installations? Did they build them on top of each other?

They likely meant multiple components of a battery. S-400 units are made up of launcher trucks, radar trucks, and a command and control center that coordinates it. The S-400 is a pretty good air defense system, enough so that when Turkey ordered some from Russia the US flipped the gently caress out and immediately kicked Turkey out of the program for getting F-35s lol

Tai
Mar 8, 2006
More so because NATO likes to keep weapons in house more than being worried S-400 is effective (I have no idea if they are good). It could also be that AA systems need to be able to ignore friendly planes and US probably doesn't want that programmed into an S-400.

HonorableTB
Dec 22, 2006
The reason was because the S-400 would almost certainly have a way to backdoor data back to Russia and the US did not want to just hand over flight performance data for their newest and best stealth plane to Russia on a platter

Tai
Mar 8, 2006
I'd say best stealth plane is up in the air till it gets some combat missions.

DiomedesGodshill
Feb 21, 2009

Tai posted:

More so because NATO likes to keep weapons in house more than being worried S-400 is effective (I have no idea if they are good). It could also be that AA systems need to be able to ignore friendly planes and US probably doesn't want that programmed into an S-400.

Comedy option: get the s400s to ignore ALL planes! Everything is friendly until it isn't. Would probably be safer for Russian pilots tbh.

My Spirit Otter
Jun 15, 2006


CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

Tai posted:

I'd say best stealth plane is up in the air till it gets some combat missions.

what do you think firebombed maui?!?

HonorableTB
Dec 22, 2006

Tai posted:

I'd say best stealth plane is up in the air till it gets some combat missions.

I can't find it but someone post that parody commercial of Big Bill Hell's Cars but it's the Russian Air Force and they're the home of the only stealth fighter that absolutely everyone can see on radar

devmd01
Mar 7, 2006

Elektronik
Supersonik
https://youtu.be/gne7beWy8fU?si=Sm5Z58hAEK_W--cg

HonorableTB
Dec 22, 2006
lmao a classic every time

I saw that Steve got some zek rations, I'm going to have to watch that to see just how abysmal prisoner emergency rations are haha. Nice hiss

Neophyte
Apr 23, 2006

perennially
Taco Defender
I heard that Vladimir Pootin got couped by Vladimir Poopin

Von Pluring
Sep 19, 2003


Zelensky's Zealots
Pork Pro
Turkey and Hungary are still being utter c-spams about Sweden trying to join NATO. Latest news is Erdogan signed some document but now they're withholding that document from the parlament until late December/early January for some unclear reason.

This is Hungary's position, according to SVT and Google Translate:

- The Swedes must explain what has happened recently, says the Hungarian minister Gergely Gulyás, who is responsible for Prime Minister Orbán's office.

According to Gulyás, it is no longer obvious that Hungary will ratify Sweden's application before Turkey.

- We all remember what happened with the Swedish-Hungarian relations in the last few months, he says, according to SVT.

He is referring to the criticism directed by Swedish politicians against the development of democracy in Hungary.

- If they consider their opinion to be a mistake, they must make it clear. If they think they were right, I don't know why they want to be in a club with us, he says.

The minister further says that the situation has "deteriorated".

On Wednesday, the speaker of the Hungarian parliament rejected the demand from several Hungarian opposition parties that the parliament now schedule a date for the vote on Swedish NATO membership.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Von Pluring
Sep 19, 2003


Zelensky's Zealots
Pork Pro

ZogrimAteMyHamster
Dec 8, 2015

steinrokkan posted:

>> invade Ukraine
> "You were eaten by a GRU."

:colbert:

Mr Lanternfly
Jun 26, 2023

I can get it to go 3D, but still can't tell what it is.

War Wizard
Jan 4, 2007

:)

HonorableTB posted:

The telegram fanfiction authors General SVR who brought you PUTIN CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR HAVING A HEART ATTACK have published a sequel



Lol how do you spell Q anon in Russian?

Justin Credible
Aug 27, 2003

happy cat


Mr Lanternfly posted:

I can get it to go 3D, but still can't tell what it is.

Busted as t-72/80/we and a tractor in the foreground. shell hole to the right

Von Pluring
Sep 19, 2003


Zelensky's Zealots
Pork Pro

Mr Lanternfly posted:

I can get it to go 3D, but still can't tell what it is.

Hint: it’s from the early days od the Special Military Operation.

Spoiler: Tractor and tank

My Spirit Otter
Jun 15, 2006


CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

Justin Credible posted:

Busted as t-72/80/we and a tractor in the foreground. shell hole to the right

you idiot, you stupid moron, ITS A BOAT

TK-42-1
Oct 30, 2013

looks like we have a bad transmitter




[jaws theme intensifies]

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MadDogMike
Apr 9, 2008

Cute but fanged

The sequel to that one is even funnier, in my opinion.

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