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concerned, echi. you say nonsense like this all the time, and if you actually think it's appropriate for kids to do antisocial stuff like that, then something is wrong. assholes _always_ find some reason why their victim deserves it. children especially are not capable of acting as impartial judges of who "deserves" to have their things destroyed. adults are generally also not good at that, which is why we have things like legal systems and general societal rules of "don't be a tremendous piece of poo poo"
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Nov 12, 2023 23:16
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is it the rich people that end up in the assisted living places? maybe all the rich people live at home idk your son should do some research, figure this out. that’ll set him straight
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Nov 12, 2023 23:23
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Perplx posted:I give my kid a raspberry on his belly so he bends forward this is brilliant will try next time, shes gotten better since then it was just a random like two week period. i think maybe she was realizing independence but not able to express it because shes gotten very independent lately but we can actually work with her and shes expressing her wants better.
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Nov 13, 2023 00:23
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jfc are we fed up with every evening ending up as either a screaming meltdown or wrestling or both to get this child to do something she actually wants to do. get in the bath? Meltdown. Get out? Meltdown. rinse and repeat. sometimes I think she's gonna hurt herself properly (as opposed to just bonking into things while flinging herself about) because she's going to twist something out of a socket while we're trying to pin her down to put pajamas on then once she's in bed, fast asleep in <10 minutes as if nothing happened
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Nov 13, 2023 00:29
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tbh sounds like she's getting overtired. put her down earlier, or at least start the routine earlier so that the hard parts are already finished
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Nov 13, 2023 00:31
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Achmed Jones posted:tbh sounds like she's getting overtired. put her down earlier, or at least start the routine earlier so that the hard parts are already finished
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Nov 13, 2023 00:39
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Achmed Jones posted:tbh sounds like she's getting overtired. put her down earlier, or at least start the routine earlier so that the hard parts are already finished nth. ours is dropping midday naps and starts to go sicko mode around 7 on the dot
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Nov 13, 2023 01:53
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Does incentivizing your kids with toys, treats, extra tv time ect actually work? we're trying to get my 5yo to sleep in her own bed all night long and my wife wants to start giving her little toys and stuff as a reward if she actually does it. I'm on board if it works but the thought of just adding more plastic crap that my kid will play with for 2 minutes then forget about just fills me with dread. I went to the dollar store and couldn't even buy anything to try this because it just seems so sad and wasteful. is there anything else we could try?
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Nov 13, 2023 02:16
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food
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Nov 13, 2023 02:44
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the idea is to use the bribes to form a habit. it works. what works - treats, screen time, simple praise, little toys, etc - depends on the kid, what they care about, etc
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Nov 13, 2023 02:50
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Achmed Jones posted:concerned, echi. you say nonsense like this all the time, and if you actually think it's appropriate for kids to do antisocial stuff like that, then something is wrong. lmao
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Nov 13, 2023 03:11
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help, police, im a Victim of Teen Graffiti 
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Nov 13, 2023 03:47
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Sure Bill that owns the cafe sexually harasses the teenage girls that work there and steals their tips, but they're too young to know if that's "bad"
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Nov 13, 2023 04:23
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Achmed Jones posted:tbh sounds like she's getting overtired. put her down earlier, or at least start the routine earlier so that the hard parts are already finished
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Nov 13, 2023 06:17
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Achmed Jones posted:concerned, echi. you say nonsense like this all the time, and if you actually think it's appropriate for kids to do antisocial stuff like that, then something is wrong. yeah maybe idk. I mean we talk about whatever a lot and I’m trying to show him that if you really want to destroy the ruling class then getting pinged for petty vandalism is going to hamper future efforts it’s hard for me to get too concerned because I really do think he’s all talk, and there’s a spirit of rebellion (say gently caress no to rules man) that I see that I have in me, and I’d hate someone to take that away from me, and conversely it’s difficult for me to feel like that part of him is “bad” or concerning. chicks dig rebels and that’s a tale as old as time so far the extent of his rebellion is skateboarding around these retiree communities. imo that’s 14yo praxis
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Nov 13, 2023 06:31
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I’m really reluctant to physically restrain my children, sure if they are going to hurt themselves or their siblings. But I’ve found it’s better to say: “OK, no toothbrush today” which 99.9% of the time results in refocusing the tantrum into wanting to get their teeth brushed and me being able to help them regulating by being calm and telling them that of course I’ll help them. We used to pin them to get it done but I realized that them being forced through it and us feeling like poo poo about it is absolutely not worth something as simple as brushing your teeth. What’s the harm in not doing that just one night? I don’t know how it is for you specifically, but I’ve found that quashing the instinct to go “respect my authority” and instead evaluating if something is worth a fight or not has been a good choice for me. It so easy to get tunnel vision and not realizing that you are feeding their tantrum and not starving it.
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Nov 13, 2023 07:28
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zokie posted:I’m really reluctant to physically restrain my children, sure if they are going to hurt themselves or their siblings. But I’ve found it’s better to say: “OK, no toothbrush today” which 99.9% of the time results in refocusing the tantrum into wanting to get their teeth brushed and me being able to help them regulating by being calm and telling them This is an extremely important lesson that it took me entirely too long to internalize.
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Nov 13, 2023 07:29
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yeah and ultimately it’s a decision about how do you want to teach your kids is an appropriate way to get someone to do what they don’t want to do? because there’s a very very simple thing I’ve learned as a parent and that is that your kids don’t do what you tell them to do, they do what they see you do
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Nov 13, 2023 08:06
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idk I don't spend 99% of the day with my finger up my nose yet my 3.5yo seems to consider it life-critical that he do so.
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Nov 13, 2023 11:04
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evolution takes time my friend
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Nov 13, 2023 11:11
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Achmed Jones posted:concerned, echi. you say nonsense like this all the time, and if you actually think it's appropriate for kids to do antisocial stuff like that, then something is wrong. echinopsis posted:if you really want to destroy the ruling class then getting pinged for petty vandalism is going to hamper future efforts Arson Daily posted:Does incentivizing your kids with toys, treats, extra tv time ect actually work? we're trying to get my 5yo to sleep in her own bed all night long and my wife wants to start giving her little toys and stuff as a reward if she actually does it. I'm on board if it works but the thought of just adding more plastic crap that my kid will play with for 2 minutes then forget about just fills me with dread. I went to the dollar store and couldn't even buy anything to try this because it just seems so sad and wasteful. is there anything else we could try? evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Nov 13, 2023 |
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Nov 13, 2023 12:48
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Shifty Pony posted:idk I don't spend 99% of the day with my finger up my nose yet my 3.5yo seems to consider it life-critical that he do so. Sounds like you're missing out
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Nov 13, 2023 14:20
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this is good stuff ty. I think we've maybe been too much trying to avoid backing down and so encouraging "if I have a tantrum I will get what I want" but we'll see. she will wash her drat hands after going to the toilet though  also yeah, she's dropping her nap just about so winding bedtime back a bit is probably a good idea.
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Nov 13, 2023 14:33
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in my experience, it’s been that the kid reacts to what I do or say and mimics what their peers do.
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Nov 13, 2023 18:04
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when it comes to going to the toilet I’m of the opinion that if daddy is doing the wiping &c and they aren’t really touching anything, then I won’t force them to wash their hands because they don’t magically become dirty just because you went potty. They gotta wash their hands before we eat or whatever still kinda reverse of looking both ways even if the light is green.
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Nov 13, 2023 18:07
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MrQueasy posted:in my experience, it’s been that the kid reacts to what I do or say and mimics what their peers do. ours goes to a private school with an emphasis on community and being a good citizen so their peers are pretty chill, but when she goes to summer camp at the Y with the hoi polloi she comes home with some real jerkface habits lmao
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Nov 13, 2023 18:11
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zokie posted:We used to pin them to get it done but I realized that them being forced through it and us feeling like poo poo about it is absolutely not worth something as simple as brushing your teeth. What’s the harm in not doing that just one night? A side note on the tactics of discipline, I don't think pinning a kid and forcing them to brush their teeth (or to do anything, really) is a good consequence. Not because I'm morally or emotionally against corporal punishment, but because I've never seen the threatened consequence of wrestling a kid to the floor actually change their behavior. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good fight? Sometimes the fight is worth it even if you lose. I wouldn't be surprised if kids are predisposed to brush it off when they get trounced in any particular scuffle, since time immemorial children have been picking fights they are destined to lose. Wrestling pigs, etc. It's not hard to find consequences your child will dislike, but finding consequences your children will work to avoid is a whole different, involved story.
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Nov 13, 2023 18:19
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my kids are super into barbies rn and they tend to cycle through toy categories to be into on a like quarterly basis. I’ve found that taking their toys as a consequence works better than time outs or whatever else
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Nov 13, 2023 18:23
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Corla Plankun posted:ours goes to a private school with an emphasis on community and being a good citizen so their peers are pretty chill, but when she goes to summer camp at the Y with the hoi polloi she comes home with some real jerkface habits lmao while my kid was making a lego technic car, i saw an 7 year old boy had made one too and was waiting in line to run it down a big test ramp. the boy in front of him (maybe one year older) tried to snatch it from him laughing about how he wanted race 2 at the same time. the 7 y/o stood his ground and said he didn’t want him to do that, as he had worked on it for a long time and wanted to test it himself the older kid gets right up in his face and screams “SHARING IS CARING AND YOU’RE NOT SHARING!!” as we all already know his parent was on the other side of the room on their phone the use of that language specifically was pretty ironic and lol. hawking over my kid was +ev in that jungle
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Nov 13, 2023 19:09
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Kenny Logins posted:“SHARING IS CARING AND YOU’RE NOT SHARING!!” Lol the ethical quandaries of the schoolyard
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Nov 13, 2023 19:26
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lol ive been resting my boy on my shoulder because he will typically cry in any other position and my neck hurts 24/7 will this go away or is this something that happen to people who have kids in their mid 30s
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Nov 14, 2023 16:45
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I’ll let you know when I hit mid 30s
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Nov 14, 2023 17:39
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the missus is due in June after some assumptions about timing and ability while breastfeeding turned out to be incorrect lol it was funny because I was like “hey wanna play the lottery? if we win we get a baby” and she was like “it’s not a lottery since I’m supposed to start my cycle tomorrow and I’m breastfeeding” when she didn’t start the he next day I was kinda concerned but then I forgot about it until a test showed up on my pillow a couple weeks ago  anyways, it’ll be fun. we had a newborn and an 18mo once before, so at least it won’t be new territory for us on that front
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Nov 14, 2023 17:44
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:the missus is due in June after some assumptions about timing and ability while breastfeeding turned out to be incorrect lol A vasectomy allows you to spin the roulette wheel as many times as you'd like, but you never lose.
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Nov 14, 2023 18:07
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Volmarias posted:A vasectomy allows you to spin the roulette wheel as many times as you'd like, but you never lose.
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Nov 14, 2023 18:11
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Volmarias posted:A vasectomy allows you to spin the roulette wheel as many times as you'd like, but you never lose. well, we were thinking about having four anyways, just waiting to try for another year or so lol
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Nov 14, 2023 18:12
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:well, we were thinking about having four anyways, just waiting to try for another year or so lol Congrats, you have reached your planned quota. Detach your nuts and face towards bloodshed.
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Nov 14, 2023 18:18
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:well, we were thinking about having four anyways, just waiting to try for another year or so lol  Volmarias posted:A vasectomy allows you to spin the roulette wheel as many times as you'd like, but you never lose. infertility is my secret weapon
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Nov 14, 2023 19:46
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:
wonder what happened here lol coz, at least theoretically, should not be able to get pregs couple days before a period. recently been studying this regarding emergency contraceptives and when they are effective, when they can’t work, etc etc. anyway. maybe you just have unreal ejaculate. in fact that’s likely
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Nov 14, 2023 19:49
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echinopsis posted:wonder what happened here lol coz, at least theoretically, should not be able to get pregs couple days before a period. it’s possible her cycle was still inconsistent since she had only started getting them again the previous month, so obviously in hindsight gambling was riskier that what it appeared lol our second and third kids were conceived during the “practice” attempt prior to our plan of trying a lot the following month lol
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Nov 14, 2023 19:51
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