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I make people speak in a cockney accent whenever it rains.
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Nov 11, 2023 20:11
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| # ? May 23, 2024 18:09 |
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You know how some styrofoam packing starts sticking to you and its really hard to get it off?
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Nov 11, 2023 21:28
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No matter how much I work out, I can't lose weight or gain muscle mass. No one will ever suspect me of being one of the X-Men with a mutant power as subtle as that.
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Nov 12, 2023 01:08
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I can't believe they send JV tryouts into the Danger Room. They say it's scaled down, but I don't know. Xavier creeps me out.
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Nov 12, 2023 01:18
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I have the ability to turn into anything as long as it feels like an annoying pebble that snuck into your shoe.
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Nov 12, 2023 03:41
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Bacontotem posted:I have the ability to turn into anything as long as it feels like an annoying pebble that snuck into your shoe. That's cool brother, really, but how's that gonna help in the DANGER ROOM?! Or maybe I'm just freaking out about eXams
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Nov 12, 2023 03:43
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redshirt posted:That's cool brother, really, but how's that gonna help in the DANGER ROOM?! And that feeling there's a rock just underneath at least two toes isn't helping you either.
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Nov 12, 2023 03:45
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JediTalentAgent posted:No matter how much I work out, I can't lose weight or gain muscle mass. Been done.
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Nov 12, 2023 06:15
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I am the Shipper! I'm capable of seeing the potential romantic connection between people! Right now, I'm telling you: Dazzler and Cypher. We all need to work together to get those two together if you're into vanilla. You want something spicier, I'm recommending an Illyana-Cypher combo. That's risky, though. If you think about it, I'm really useful because once we get some of you in stable relationships then you can focus on your jobs.
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Nov 12, 2023 06:38
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My powerful mutant brain makes me the perfect Ideas Guy. Anyway, have you tried cutting Wolverine in half to make two of him?
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Nov 12, 2023 18:33
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I went for my trials in the Danger Room and it's just where they keep the showers. That's it, I took a shower. Apparently Xavier saw One Piece and is convinced that getting any water on us will neutralize our superpowers. That explains why it's been smelling like a comic-con around here. It is kinda weird that I had to do it in front of a whole panel of other X-men though.
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Nov 12, 2023 19:03
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JediTalentAgent posted:I am the Shipper! I'm capable of seeing the potential romantic connection between people! Tell us finally who Wolverine should be with!
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Nov 12, 2023 19:05
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redshirt posted:Tell us finally who Wolverine should be with! Brutal Garcon posted:Anyway, have you tried cutting Wolverine in half to make two of him?
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Nov 12, 2023 19:22
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My feet are easy-to-draw diamond shapes.
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Nov 12, 2023 20:08
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LOL I'd love to see the cover of the two Wolverines gay wedding
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Nov 12, 2023 20:12
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I'm Shipper's sister: The Slasher! I don't have mutant powers but I can do something similar. Speaking of who Wolverine should be with, I got some ideas...
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Nov 12, 2023 22:19
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JediTalentAgent posted:I'm Shipper's sister: The Slasher! Probably a lot, my gaydar goes crazy at these meetings
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Nov 12, 2023 23:13
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I am the Leveler. I'm not strong, I can just tell you when something is perfectly level.
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Nov 13, 2023 00:06
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Bonzo posted:I am the Leveler. do you lose power/get hurt in the presence of self-leveling concrete
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Nov 13, 2023 00:08
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I'm Nickname. When I give someone a nickname, it sticks. Do you remember me, Scott? You should. We were in the orphanage together. I called you 'slim', and from that day on, everyone called you that. Is that why you took up weightlifting? To get those big muscles? Yet, they still call you slim, don't they. I bet that still eats you up, like you eat up all the protein you can to try to get enough muscles to run away from that name, but you never will. Now, if I don't make it on the JV team, I'm gonna start giving out nicknames to the whole lot of you. They'll make 'slim' look like a crown of gold in comparison. I mean, I'm looking at one of you right now, and all it will take will be one greeting from me and everyone will call that person "rear end in a top hat Face" for the rest of their life.
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Nov 13, 2023 02:44
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I'm rear end in a top hat Face. I used to be Wolverine until I got kicked off the team because someone gave me the nickname rear end in a top hat Face and it stuck. I thought by killing that guy, it'd go away, but it's still there. Everyone started calling me rear end in a top hat Face instead of Logan or Wolverine. I go to Madripoor and I'm just "Patched rear end in a top hat Face" there. I really want to stay in the loop, so if I have to join the JV team, so be it. Maybe we could shorten it to A-Face or something.
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Nov 13, 2023 02:48
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JediTalentAgent posted:I'm rear end in a top hat Face. Holy poo poo someone call Professor X
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Nov 13, 2023 02:50
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redshirt posted:Holy poo poo someone call Professor X You mean Professor Sexpest? That's what we all call him now. poo poo, Nickname did a lot of damage to this team before rear end in a top hat Face killed him. We should have let him on the team.
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Nov 13, 2023 03:02
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Hey, everyone, I discovered a secret ultra-low setting for the danger room. Since the regular lowest setting is way too hard for us, I think we should use it to practice. The "danger" is a bunch of scantily-clad mutant and metahuman women who bop you with pillows and giggle about how "bald men are so sexy!" and "we just love smart guys!" It's a little weird, but I've gotten pretty good at dodging them.
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Nov 13, 2023 04:05
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I'm Magneto's cousin: Weako. I can control all neutrinos within a range of about one femtometer.
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Nov 13, 2023 04:37
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I'm 3-Way! My power is that I can light up a room at three different levels of light, equivalent to 40, 60, or 100 watts. Team me up with that girl Chance so that I can also do 20/30/50 or 80/120/200 watts of light!
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Nov 13, 2023 04:39
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They call me blasteroid I can give anyone crippling hemorrhoids but in doing so I get them twofold.
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Nov 13, 2023 04:40
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Brutal Garcon posted:I'm Magneto's cousin: Weako. Hey! You should meet up with Femto. Maybe you could combine your powers.
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Nov 13, 2023 04:41
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I just want to address a nasty rumor that has been spreading around. Contrary to some posts on X-net.org, I did NOT break the credit card reader on the vending machine in the lower level kitchenette despite what some of the libertarians on the JV squad- who demanded a paid vending machine rather than just stocking up the lower level kitchenette with snacks- have claimed. The PIN reader on the vending machine still works and yeah it takes a little bit longer than a card swipe. I saw the Maintainer eating a bag of bold and hot peanuts that definitely came out of the machine after the alleged incident. Also, if you're going to use the refillable Keurig canister, can you please empty and clean it out after you get your cuppa. Whomever needs to brew iron shavings for your nutritional needs, please do your duty, it takes so much longer to clean.
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Nov 13, 2023 04:42
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I am... (*cracks riding crop on Logan's rear end*) The Domainatrix! My power is that I can make media enter the public domain like.... (*cracks riding crop on Cyclops' rear end*) ...THAT! I have just made a random U2 song and one episode of Mork and Mindy public domain. Yes, I literally have to crack men on their asses to make my power work. I assure you, this is a real power and not a kink, only a burden I must carry. Now, who feels like making tonight a 'movie night'?
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Nov 13, 2023 04:50
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They call me "Peak". It's because my mutant ability gave me peak human capabilities. Oh, no, my mutant power isn't just being human. It's like being the most physically perfect and capable human who ever lived. Kind of like my mutant power is like the mutant version of having the super soldier serum like Capt. America has. No, it's NOT like saying "That's like being the strongest grade schooler in a fight against a NFL Linebacker!" Screw all of you!
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Nov 13, 2023 05:01
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The Vibe opens the thread... Siri, please insert that burning pizza gif
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Nov 13, 2023 05:05
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poo poo, is that how you say it? I've been calling them the "zmen" this whole time
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Nov 13, 2023 05:26
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Brutal Garcon posted:poo poo, is that how you say it? I've been calling them the "zmen" this whole time I was calling them the Christ-Men.
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Nov 13, 2023 05:28
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We're in the Danger Room right now...
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Nov 13, 2023 05:29
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Maybe none of you are leaving the Danger Room alive. That's what I tried to warn all of you. Professor X is secretly into 'culling the herd'. We're all lambs for the slaughter. This rooms killed more mutants than the Sentinels and Legacy, combined. He's ridding the gene pool of us mutants with lovely powers. The only hope any of us have is if we surprise him by surviving by showing that our powers have a secret value that he never expected... My power? I'm a mutant whose power makes me a living ghost upon death. Professor X made me prove that one in here... I've been haunting this Danger Room for years now. I'd say I can't wait for some company, but you're all soulless abominations in the eyes of God, so unless youre power is also turning into living ghosts upon death, you're just condemned to nothingness for all eternity.
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Nov 13, 2023 05:35
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JediTalentAgent posted:Maybe none of you are leaving the Danger Room alive. That's what I tried to warn all of you. Maybe you're just workin again Professah X
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Nov 13, 2023 05:36
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I just heard that Emma Frost left Cyclops for Iron Man. I'm going to get a glass fleshlight and mail it to him with a note from Tony Stark that reads, "No Hard Feelings." We're going to have so many X-Men mainliners put out of commission from a dick-waving crossover fight between Cykes and Stark that they'll move some of us JVs up to the big leagues.
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Nov 13, 2023 08:49
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JediTalentAgent posted:I just heard that Emma Frost left Cyclops for Iron Man. rear end in a top hat, I don't want to be in the big leagues. Perfectly happy fighting people who order their "Shantynails" from sketchy online stores, here. Maybe you want to fight Magneto. Me, I'm fine dealing with that one guy who keeps plotting ways to give people without the mutant gene for lactose tolerance terrible diarrhea.
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Nov 13, 2023 09:29
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| # ? May 23, 2024 18:09 |
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I’m called The Repairwoman because my superpower is I Can Fix Him. Doesn’t matter that he ain’t broken, I can make him the best him he can be! He just has to change this one little thing about who he is as a person, first. And, his hair. So, who’s up for some fixing? 
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Nov 13, 2023 10:45
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