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They need to take one of the older kids to court and have them legally declared younger so the cousin can split a room with them. Only way out of this.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:02
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the holy poopacy posted:she deserves more support than just being told to lump it. Wait, did dad tell her to punch the ten year old?
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Nov 14, 2023 15:04
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Pirate Radar posted:They need to take one of the older kids to court and have them legally declared younger so the cousin can split a room with them. Only way out of this. At this point I wonder if the 14 year old or her siblings have thought about calling CPS. Not that it would do much good but the 14 year old having to act as a night parent might raise an alarm. I hope the 10 year old is in therapy.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:09
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CPS only cares about the one child. Obvious solution is to put the 14 year old in the 3-walled room for the winter. Only way out of this.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:12
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Cowslips Warren posted:
You aren't getting your tubes tied on the down-low. It's a major surgery, with a decently long recovery period. They aren't an AH for wanting to do it, but ESH when they can't talk about it like adults and respect each other's boundaries. A 5th kid when you already have 2 special needs kids? 
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Nov 14, 2023 15:16
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Nocheez posted:You aren't getting your tubes tied on the down-low. It's a major surgery, with a decently long recovery period. They aren't an AH for wanting to do it, but ESH when they can't talk about it like adults and respect each other's boundaries. A 5th kid when you already have 2 special needs kids? A friend of mine had a laparoscopic tubal ligation recently. It's an outpatient procedure and she was up and about (with some soreness) within three days. Not that OP would be able to hide the new scars or handwave away suddenly not being able to move around like she normally does
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Nov 14, 2023 15:27
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Cowslips Warren posted:At this point I wonder if the 14 year old or her siblings have thought about calling CPS. Not that it would do much good but the 14 year old having to act as a night parent might raise an alarm. If the parents can show it's temporary and they're mid-building a new room, CPS will be fine. You have to remember that there's a shortage of people to throw orphaned kids at, so they don't actually just yank a kid out of a situation at the first sign of discomfort. The 14yo is in a lovely spot but it's got a definite end point and they legally can't put the kid anywhere else. This isn't one of those 'and the parents just dumped it on the kid for free babysitting' situations, everyone is kinda doing the best they can and it should be over soon. The other option is the kid gets thrown into the system, which uh, no, that's not what should happen here.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:46
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I mean, it's a tough situation that should hopefully be over soon but having your sleep disrupted nearly every day for over half a year is a lot to spring on anyone, nevermind a moody teen. Would foster care really yank the niece back out if the 17 year old shared the bedroom for a month or two instead as they finished renovations? Surely if everything else in the home was up to standard there would be some leeway?
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Nov 14, 2023 15:49
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Yeah, the idea that it's going to be over soon when it's already been 6 months is a lot to swallow. At the very least the parents aren't taking the 14-year-olds concerns and needs into account at all. AITA for taking the money my grandparents saved for college and agreeing with them that my half sister isn’t their grandkid quote:I will try to keep this short. I am 18 and when I was around 10 my mom cheated on my father and got pregnant. This resulted in my half sister Kathy. Soon after my parents cut my grandparents out of our life. My parents stayed together. I turned 18 three months ago and my grandparents reached out. Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Nov 14, 2023 |
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Nov 14, 2023 15:53
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If the 10 year old refuses to use a baby monitor while the 14 year old is in the room I don't think things will improve once the new room exists. But I feel like the parents should definitely be making this up to their daughter somehow. She can't have sleepovers, she can't not be there, and her sleep is disrupted nearly every single night to be an appendix for her mother.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:54
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No they wouldn't, what I mean when I say the only other solution is back in the system is that, there seems to literally be no other place they can legally put the kid, so their choices seem to be house the kid with the 14yo and build a room, or not take on the kid. And the latter would be a crying shame to do considering they have the space and money and it's a temporary situation with the rooms. It's definitely a lot to ask of a 14yo, but it's not a situation where the parents are trying to force one kid into the care of the other in order to evade parental responsibility. It's just a lovely situation all around and yeah I feel for the 14yo.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:56
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At worst they kid will only have to be night mom for 4 years or so until she can flee the situation. I'm sure if the parents calmly explain everything she won't have any lingering resentment.
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Nov 14, 2023 15:58
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Pope Corky the IX posted:I'm not sure where anyone got the idea that they're exempt on Tuesday. In fact, some people could take advantage of such things.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:00
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StrangersInTheNight posted:This isn't one of those 'and the parents just dumped it on the kid for free babysitting' situations quote:everyone is kinda doing the best they can StrangersInTheNight posted:It's definitely a lot to ask of a 14yo, but it's not a situation where the parents are trying to force one kid into the care of the other in order to evade parental responsibility. But hey, who cares? It's not like teenagers have expectations or responsibilities that are impacted by being woken up in the middle of the night every night for seven months.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:04
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Nebrilos posted:Could someone repost the "I was basically mind-controlled into an affair because he complimented me" story? Hughlander posted:This one had a link to another one of my favorites...
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Nov 14, 2023 16:04
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Malachite_Dragon posted:You're not wrong re: people taking advantage of but the original rule was that accidental reposts would not get punished when it was, in fact, tuesday. Considering I'm the one that created it I can tell you that you are incorrect.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:05
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Considering that is how you and/or teen witch while she was an ik enforced it, either you go back and retroactively sixer a whole bunch of people or admit you are altering the deal
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Nov 14, 2023 16:08
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Considering I'm the one that created it I can tell you that you are incorrect. What was the original rule?
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Nov 14, 2023 16:09
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Considering that is how you and/or teen witch while she was an ik enforced it, either you go back and retroactively sixer a whole bunch of people or admit you are altering the deal The whole reason it's Tuesday is because one day there were three stories reposted within a few hours and I asked "What's with all the reposts? You people have me thinking it's last Tuesday" and it became a running joke. Then I decided to start giving sixers to anyone that reposts stories with a song about Tuesday as the probe reason. Other people started assuming that Tuesday was the only day that couldn't happen. I just never corrected them because I found it funny. And what deal? Who signed what in order for this to become a thing?
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Nov 14, 2023 16:13
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WIBTA if I asked my sister not to wear earings to my wedding?quote:I 21(f) am going to get married to my husband to be. My sistera arw going to be bridsemaids for my special day. Now here where the issue lies my sister has her ears pierced twice on the bottom of each ear. I however have never got my ears pierced and I am too scared to. Its just her taking them out for one day as I don't want the spotlight to go on her om my day. I want to have the most accessories as I should as the bride. So would I be the ashore if I asked her not to wear them? How ... How boring is your wedding going to be if earrings are going to take the spotlight off of you?
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Nov 14, 2023 16:16
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Halloween Jack posted:Yes, it is. You can't think of any other conceivable approach besides one older child being the designated night nurse? The 'night nursing' is a side effect of the child having some sort of trauma where they won't leave their bedroom, because of some sort of abuse. Possibly even a sexual abuse situation. The parents do need to figure out a solution for this, absolutely; it's affecting their family. It seems like they're hoping that getting the kid their own room will resolve it. Or possibly not realizing how bad it is because they have their kid helping, and it'll only become fully clear what the issue is to them once the rooms are split. But they legally can't house the child in any other room for now without risking loss of the kid into the system. There's no easy solution to this one but it's pretty callous to insist this is somehow just being neglectful when they're literally building a new room for the kid to resolve it.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:17
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AITA for not attending my sister’s wedding?quote:My sister (30F) and I (28F) have always had a complicated relationship. She's regarded me as the 'golden child' because I've generally stayed out of trouble, leading our parents to use me as an example for our other siblings. I consistently excelled in school and have now earned a PhD, which may have triggered some envy on her part (or so I assume), as she decided to change her career path to mine and claims she has now started pursuing a PhD herself (which she isn't). This is just one example of how our lives have been ; it’s constant competition, so I usually don’t even share details about my life.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:18
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Amazing that the sacred oaths sworn by the posters at the signing of the r/r charter are being disrespected in this way.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:20
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i admit that i wasn't up to date on my tuesday lore. shameful, really
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Nov 14, 2023 16:22
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StrangersInTheNight posted:The 'night nursing' is a side effect of the child having some sort of trauma where they won't leave their bedroom, because of some sort of abuse. Possibly even a sexual abuse situation. I mean there are some solutions that would help the 14-year-old and 10 year old both. You could have the mom sleep with the 10-year-old in that room and let the 14-year-old sleep elsewhere. You could have the mom and the 10-year-old sleep on an air mattress somewhere so the 14-year-old can keep her room. The 14-year-old should not be responsible for her 10-year-old cousin, or be her night Mom, and she certainly doesn't deserve to be grounded for refusing to be parent-fied in that way.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:22
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StrangersInTheNight posted:The 'night nursing' is a side effect of the child having some sort of trauma where they won't leave their bedroom, because of some sort of abuse. Possibly even a sexual abuse situation. The daughter asked to stay with friends until this is resolved and her parents said no. The two older kids refuse to sleep with the 10 year old and the parents are okay with that. And CPS won't let them sleep with an adult. I can't blame the 14 year old for feeling like they're getting screwed over her.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:23
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StrangersInTheNight posted:The 'night nursing' is a side effect of the child having some sort of trauma where they won't leave their bedroom, because of some sort of abuse. Possibly even a sexual abuse situation. quote:But they legally can't house the child in any other room for now without risking loss of the kid into the system. There's no easy solution to this one but it's pretty callous to insist this is somehow just being neglectful when they're literally building a new room for the kid to resolve it.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:25
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Halloween Jack posted:No poo poo, Sherlock. How's that the 14 year old's problem? CPS won't let her share a room with an adult for reasons that her parents won't explain, probably related to child abuse. And apparently her previous foster home would lock her in her room at night, which is why she has these issues.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:29
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Plus the new bedroom has been under construction for around 8 months at this point. She says it needs 1 wall added, windows and some power outlets. She also says it's going so slowly because they need permits for everything. If it were me, I'd want to see an actual timeline for when this new bedroom is going to be useable. The dad saying "soon" is not good enough. Even an extremely stressful situation can be tolerated if you have a definite date when it will end. Having it just roll on and on is unbearable.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:29
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As repeatedly mentioned by other people, yeah there probably is if CPS is involved since the kid came from foster care.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:30
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permits, my rear end. the only way finishing a room takes that long is if you're not loving doing it. the parents are just pissed off that OP's starting to figure it out, is all
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Nov 14, 2023 16:30
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They live in the Johnson house from Twin Peaks.Kurieg posted:CPS won't let her share a room with an adult for reasons that her parents won't explain, probably related to child abuse. And apparently her previous foster home would lock her in her room at night, which is why she has these issues. The reason the parents don't want to do this is that then 2 or 3 children would be complaining about this situation, and they'd have to figure their poo poo out. Not just building the bedroom, but transitioning her to sleeping by herself, which is also not going to be easy. Easier to just dump this on their least favourite kid and threaten her with punishments when she complains. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she ends up voluntold to sleep in her cousin's room and continue to be her nurse.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:34
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I'm trying to finish a kitchen right now and because of so many parts of the project being dependent on other parts and waiting for materials and contractor availability it won't be finished until probably January. I've had new tile sitting my hall in boxes since early October. Construction and renovations can be a nightmare.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:35
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Do all the bedrooms in your house have sinks and ovens in them?
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Nov 14, 2023 16:36
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It reminds me of my friend, and I think he was in his early teens when his mom started fostering babies and toddlers, and at one point he would end up with the new kid for weeks on end. To the point that he was doing the midnight feedings, putting the baby to bed, and on and on. And to this day his mother is surprised he doesn't want to have children. AITA for throwing out my roommate’s ‘vintage’ cereal collection? quote:My roommate, "Jess" (20F), has been collecting "vintage" (old) cereal boxes from the 90's for over a year now. I mean they were probably not maggots, but flour beetle larvae but still they're lucky it wasn't ants.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:40
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Halloween Jack posted:Do all the bedrooms in your house have sinks and ovens in them? Bet they have outlets, walls, and cupboards.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:44
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Cowslips Warren posted:
if only there was a step between doing nothing and yeeting all your roomies gross cereal boxes away, alas, off to the dumpster I go
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Nov 14, 2023 16:46
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That feels like a bizarre midpoint between keeping either completely empty boxes or sealed unopened boxes. I don't know how you could actually care enough to collect them if you're just dumping them on a desk full of cereal crumbs. Actually it gets weirder the more I think about it, where on earth is she getting so many 30 year old cereal boxes full of leftover crumbs in the first place? 
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Nov 14, 2023 16:47
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Cowslips Warren posted:It reminds me of my friend, and I think he was in his early teens when his mom started fostering babies and toddlers, and at one point he would end up with the new kid for weeks on end. To the point that he was doing the midnight feedings, putting the baby to bed, and on and on. And to this day his mother is surprised he doesn't want to have children. I feel like this isn't the first story we've had about vintage cereal box collectors and it's very weird to me that this is even a thing.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:49
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What type of flowers should I 30M get for my wife 29F who doesn't like flowers? quote:Hey everyone going to keep these short sweet and to the point. My wife and I had a fight the other night and toward the end of the fight she brought up how she feels less loved than my past partners because I don't buy her flowers and chocolate and jewelry and cards and poo poo every week like I would for them. We've been married for 5 years dating for 8 and have known each other for 12. She's always been a bit of a Tomboy and told me how she wasn't big on flowers and everything not to mention every time I have bought her some in the past her cats would knock them down and break the vase. Also to add to this it's not like I just don't buy her anything I buy her video games, books, we eat out all the time, I bought her a controller recently, ill always come home with a snack or a drink for her. etc. So I spend just as much on her as anyone else as buying gifts is my love language just different interests. Anyway the day after the fight during my lunch break, I bought her a simple bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, and a card in the card I wrote "I love you and would give you the world all you need to do is ask." left them on the counter to surprise her when she got home from her internship. However, she didn't seem as excited or happy as I had anticipated, and only being roses seems a bit cliché, and lacks creativity and inspiration. I've asked her what her favorite flowers are and she just says "I like them all". So what are some gorgeous flower options that are for partners and not condolences? My girlfriend (F/31) owns a home and I (M/33) am considering moving in with her. How do we make an equitable rent-to-own arrangement? quote:TLDR if I move in with my girlfriend and split rental costs, she would be my landlord and I would not be receiving any equity in the home. Is there anyway to make this more equitable or "fair"? All Bolding OPs, I just left off the bullet point list because I’m on mobile and gently caress that. DreamingofRoses fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Nov 14, 2023 |
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Nov 14, 2023 16:52
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