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Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Tulip posted:

I've always thought the claim that Napoleon became the most powerful man in Europe in arguably centuries via nepotism to be a kind of profound misunderstanding of what nepotism is.

.

Compare with https://www.amazon.com/Black-Count-Revolution-Betrayal-Cristo/dp/0307382478/ref=asc_df_0307382478/ though!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas-Alexandre_Dumas

Such a [edit] more interesting story!

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Nov 14, 2023

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ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

napoleon wasn't some bean counting middle class guy, but from the lower parts of the nobility

there was a clear distinction between those

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

skasion posted:

From loving Corsica though. This is by far the most insane part of Napoleon’s life story. For a decade this guy ruled half of Europe among and against its own divinely anointed crowned heads, when he was a semi-assimilated “notable” from an irrelevant island mostly known to other Europeans for poverty and crime. It’s completely baffling that it occurred. It’s like if the Galactic Emperor turned out to be from Scranton, PA.

like yeah ok he had advantages that helped him get ahead in life and wasnt quite as inspiring and popular a rags to riches story as Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Enver Hoxha etc. All of whom he indirectly caused to happen by inspiring Hegel to write Phenomenology of Spirit, oops.

The weirdest part of his whole career is the time he requested leave from the army after Corsica's three-way civil/independence war broke out, was granted it and returned there, overstayed his leave by nearly a year as he participated in the war, even briefly fought against French forces on the island as he served under his family's old Corsican nationalist patron (not realizing Paoli had since become a royalist secretly allied with Britain), and then after all that managed to get himself reinstated as an officer in the French Revolutionary Army.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

Napoleon was a hero to a lot of big thinkers at the time, because when he came to power, he was finally a leader with charisma in charge of the Republic who wanted to get the country functioning again rather than just do mass executions. For a little bit he was the symbol of republicanism and democracy, until he crowned himself emperor and all those people really soured on him as a traitor to the intellectual idea of a Republic.

Still, during the period in which he occupied most of Europe, Napoleon's administration came with promises of a meritocratic bureaucracy full of jobs that wouldn't be restricted to corrupt wealthy nobles, which meant a lot for the people who before and after saw their areas ruled incompetently in a system where there was no hope of participation and government jobs would often just not be paid on time for months on end. That meant a lot to a lot of people.

America, especially under pro-french, pro-war Thomas Jefferson, might've had good odds on at least severing ties with Britain if not joining the war with Napoleon, if it weren't for the XYZ Affair, where France's foreign minister happened to be a corrupt noble who kept trying to get the American diplomats to pay massive bribes up front as a cost of doing business.

Fuschia tude posted:

The weirdest part of his whole career is the time he requested leave from the army after Corsica's three-way civil/independence war broke out, was granted it and returned there, overstayed his leave by nearly a year as he participated in the war, even briefly fought against French forces on the island as he served under his family's old Corsican nationalist patron (not realizing Paoli had since become a royalist secretly allied with Britain), and then after all that managed to get himself reinstated as an officer in the French Revolutionary Army.

Helps that the French army was desperate for officers after nearly all the ranking officers fled the country. Sure Napoleon might've been under suspicion of treason, but so was everybody else with leadership experience.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017

by sebmojo

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I suppose that's fair enough. It's just hard to see napoleon as a heroic rather than a villainous figure.

I suppose the arc that makes sense is classical tragic hero doomed by hubris, etc. All the clips and trailers seemed like the focus was on his rise to power, which is just a weird flex to be making.

From my perspective there’s no Napoléon, and no continental war at all, if the perfidious redcoated fuckers and their continental stooges stay the gently caress out of our Revolution :v:

Gaius Marius
Oct 9, 2012

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

I suppose that's fair enough. It's just hard to see napoleon as a heroic rather than a villainous figure.

I suppose the arc that makes sense is classical tragic hero doomed by hubris, etc. All the clips and trailers seemed like the focus was on his rise to power, which is just a weird flex to be making.

Ask yourself if you'd rather live in Napoleonic Europe or the Europe of Metternich and Alexander I of Russia. From a purely objective point of view the villain of the Napoleonic wars is England, their refusal to come to terms with the revolution for decades resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands and the complete suppression of liberalism on Europe for decades.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


SlothfulCobra posted:

I do wonder if there's any kind of african-nationalist movements about Carthage like there are with Cleopatra, trying to claim historical figures from Africa (the continent) as black (the racial identity from the American perspective), regardless to actual genealogical records or accounts of their appearance.

There is a bit of this around Hannibal specifically, yes. It's nowhere near as prominent as the Cleopatra stuff but I've seen it before.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Cleopatra is related to the whole hotep/hebrew israelite community that claims that every single Egyptian was black until the arab conquests. She was an egyptian queen therefore must be black. Hannibal is very tangential to that but its the same logic, that anyone who is African Must Be Black.

Its just a sad outcome of stripping people of their history, language, and culture and then brutally oppressing them for 400 years. A few people go way to far in a search to connect with a history they were robbed of.

WoodrowSkillson fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Nov 14, 2023

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Gaius Marius posted:

Ask yourself if you'd rather live in Napoleonic Europe or the Europe of Metternich and Alexander I of Russia. From a purely objective point of view the villain of the Napoleonic wars is England, their refusal to come to terms with the revolution for decades resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands and the complete suppression of liberalism on Europe for decades.
As I would surely and inevitably be a philosopher nobleman-/ obviously the latter!

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Liberal republicans are idiots and napoleon made the right move. Hero of his time.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


WoodrowSkillson posted:

Cleopatra is related to the whole hotep/hebrew israelite community that claims that every single Egyptian was black until the arab conquests. She was an egyptian queen therefore must be black. Hannibal is very tangential to that but its the same logic, that anyone who is African Must Be Black.

Its just a sad outcome of stripping people of their history, language, and culture and then brutally oppressing them for 400 years. A few people go way to far in a search to connect with a history they were robbed of.

And people get way too hung up on modern classifications of the world, and just of the concept of "Africa" as a distinct thing. The region in the classical era is the Mediterranean. Whether a place is in what a modern person calls Europe or Africa or Asia means almost nothing.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
the romans knew exactly what africa was - the roman province w/ tunis in it, lol



not their fault we moderns made the definition gape

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Hannibal was born like 100 years before that was called Africa iirc

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
Bit I was thinking of from Napoleon: A Life

quote:

“Napoleon’s background as a Corsican of Italian extraction later invited endless abuse from detractors. One of his earliest British biographers, William Burdon, said of his Italian ancestry: ‘To this may be attributed the dark ferocity of his character, which partakes more of Italian treachery than of French openness and vivacity.’ Similarly, in November 1800 the British journalist William Cobbett described Napoleon as ‘a low-bred upstart from the contemptible island of Corsica!’ When the French senate proposed that Napoleon become emperor in 1804, the Comte Jean-Denis Lanjuinais expostulated: ‘What! Will you submit to give your country a master taken from a race of origin so ignominious that the Romans disdained to employ them as slaves?’

Also surprisingly thread relevant:

quote:

[His brother Joseph] described how, at their primary school, when the students were instructed to sit under either the Roman or the Carthaginian flag, Napoleon insisted that they swap places and utterly refused to join the losing Carthaginians.

Nb, it’s a great man biography by some popular historian who if you google him turns out to be a dipshit Thatcherite life peer who supported the Iraq war. Fun read though

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Cleopatra is interesting because that's another historical epic (the one starring Liz Taylor) that was panned by critics and barely broke even, and I'm sure the specter of that film looms over every pitch to make a sprawling historical epic made even to this day. Denis Villeneuve's next film will be a Cleopatra biopic starring Zendaya in the title role. This is a problem on the internet because she's not Greek. Also not a product of 15 generations of inbreeding, as far as I know.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

I think we can safely ignore Greek nationalists

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


zoux posted:

This is a problem on the internet because she's not Greek.

Of course she wasn't Greek she was one of those loving hill barbarians from up north.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

euphronius posted:

I think we can safely ignore Greek nationalists

Tell that to the North Macedonians!

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

euphronius posted:

I think we can safely ignore Greek nationalists

That’s just what the Ottomans thought

Silver2195
Apr 4, 2012

Gaius Marius posted:

Ask yourself if you'd rather live in Napoleonic Europe or the Europe of Metternich and Alexander I of Russia. From a purely objective point of view the villain of the Napoleonic wars is England, their refusal to come to terms with the revolution for decades resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands and the complete suppression of liberalism on Europe for decades.

Napoleon was a military dictator who maintained a facade of legitimacy through ridiculous rigged plebiscites, conquered countries and installed his brothers as kings of them, invaded Switzerland with no provocation, and reimposed slavery on Haiti. But apparently the fact that he also simplified France’s legal code is enough to make people defend him as some kind of progressive liberal reformer.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

The Haiti stuff was bad that is true. I forgot that

Zopotantor
Feb 24, 2013

...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Tulip posted:

I knew I would regret acting like you care about your arguments.

Americans like Napoleon for a lot of reasons, not least being a perception that he was in some vague way 'on our side' during the early years of Independence, but TBH I think this is much less driven by some abstract holllywood algorithm and much more driven by "Ridley Scott wanted to make it and he can generally get to do what he wants."

What do Americans think about Lafayette? There's a guy worth making a movie about.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011

Silver2195 posted:

Napoleon was a military dictator who maintained a facade of legitimacy through ridiculous rigged plebiscites, conquered countries and installed his brothers as kings of them, invaded Switzerland with no provocation, and reimposed slavery on Haiti. But apparently the fact that he also simplified France’s legal code is enough to make people defend him as some kind of progressive liberal reformer.

It was a very bad legal code (and so were the ones in the other countries he occupied). His legitimacy through public approval was a fraud, but some people appreciated the courtesy of pretending to have a popular mandate as opposed to most monarchs.

Napoleon in Haiti is a bit like Cromwell (another celebrated figure) in Ireland. I guess Napoleon is on record more as regretting what he did there than Cromwell.

There is no getting around the fact that he kept doing all this war and expanding out the fighting more and more as he tried to war his way out of a war with even more wars. But hey, you're welcome you're no longer colonies South America.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Zopotantor posted:

What do Americans think about Lafayette?

Extremely positive. American EF troops in 1917 famously made a pilgrimage to his grave site in Paris on July 4th and Col. Charles Stanton declared "Lafayette, nous voilà"

quote:

Among the Americans who were at the cemetery was a New England woman, an artist from Boston, Miss Clara Greenleaf Perry. In relating her experience she said: “ I was not far from Colonel Stanton as he spoke and when he said: ‘Lafayette, we are here!’ I was thrilled. The words came like an electric shock. I felt distinctly a quivering of my whole body as though it had been suddenly struck by some powerful force. It was just like a lightning stroke. Many people turned and gazed in amazement at one another for a moment and then burst into applause. I went home and recorded my impressions in a diary kept by me. I am sure Colonel Stanton spoke the words entirely in English.”

A French writer, M. Gaston Rion, who heard the speech, was so impressed by it that before the year was out he had written a pamphlet and had it published by Libraire Hachette et Cie, under the title, “Lafayette, Nous Voila.” In it he quoted from Mr. Brand Whitlock’s speech and said of Colonel Stanton’s effort: “Then there burst forth an ovation formidable” (This French word is difficult to translate, but it implies something forceful, almost to the extent of terrifying by its suddenness and power.) “It was Colonel Stanton, speaking in the name of General Pershing and ten million American soldiers, who proclaimed with pride: ‘France came to our aid when America was fighting to assure our independence. We have not forgotten. ‘La Fayette, nous voila!’ One cannot express the emotion produced by this invocation pronounced in a tone of such virile energy.” That is how it seemed to a typical listener.

He's probably going to be the exemplar of Franco-American bonhomie as long as both polities exist.

zoux fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Nov 14, 2023

Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

Napoleon led a life that was highly amenable to dramatization.

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

and he ended serfdom too

Omnomnomnivore
Nov 14, 2010

I'm swiftly moving toward a solution which pleases nobody! YEAGGH!
Isn't "Was Napoleon good or bad?" one of those history questions where the answer is "yes"? I went through a brief period in books and podcasts of maybe becoming a Napoleon Guy (could be worse as types of Guys go) but bounced off it.

Zopotantor posted:

What do Americans think about Lafayette? There's a guy worth making a movie about.
Mike Duncan's ears are burning right now.

Lafayette is a major character in an incredibly popular musical from the last decade and there's are streets named after him all over the country.

Jamwad Hilder
Apr 18, 2007

surfin usa

Zopotantor posted:

What do Americans think about Lafayette? There's a guy worth making a movie about.

Everybody loves that guy. He was immensely popular with contemporary Americans and has only remained popular since, although he's probably somewhat less well known with the passage of time. There are dozens of places across America named after him. Towns, counties, schools, etc. Mike Duncan wrote a biographer about him that came out a few years ago and was a #1 best seller.

I would watch a Lafayette movie. Dude had a super interesting life.

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?
Could Napoleon beat Caesar in a fight?

No items, bare knuckle only

Judgy Fucker
Mar 24, 2006

Napoleon probably. He seems to have that scrappy little guy psycho energy.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Zopotantor posted:

What do Americans think about Lafayette? There's a guy worth making a movie about.

Unfortunately, he raps now

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018

caesar

since no items would be allowed, that means that they fight naked, and caesar would know his way around a naked man better

Zopotantor
Feb 24, 2013

...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Omnomnomnivore posted:

Isn't "Was Napoleon good or bad?" one of those history questions where the answer is "yes"? I went through a brief period in books and podcasts of maybe becoming a Napoleon Guy (could be worse as types of Guys go) but bounced off it.

Mike Duncan's ears are burning right now.

Lafayette is a major character in an incredibly popular musical from the last decade and there's are streets named after him all over the country.

I know about Mike Duncan's book, just haven't read it yet. I didn't know about the musical.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

euphronius posted:

Hannibal was born like 100 years before that was called Africa iirc

Cornelius Scipio earned the cognomen Africanus for beating him so i do not think this is accurate.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Good point

The name is probably older than the province

Star Man
Jun 1, 2008

There's a star maaaaaan
Over the rainbow

Zopotantor posted:

What do Americans think about Lafayette? There's a guy worth making a movie about.

"Who?"

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice
I believe Europe, Asia, and Africa were the Greek names for the northern, eastern, and southern shores of the Mediterranean. That division of the world makes a lot of sense if you're on the Mediterranean coast. Africa turned out to still be a reasonable geographic unit even when you zoom out, though Europe and Asia blur together

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

The Sahara has existed since modern humans have existed right?

cheetah7071 posted:

I believe Europe, Asia, and Africa were the Greek names for the northern, eastern, and southern shores of the Mediterranean. That division of the world makes a lot of sense if you're on the Mediterranean coast. Africa turned out to still be a reasonable geographic unit even when you zoom out, though Europe and Asia blur together

There are about 30 different theories on the etymology of Africa.

zoux fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Nov 14, 2023

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Humans before the modern super dry Sahara

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euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

One theory of the formation of Egypt is the people who all lived in the now turning into desert Sahara gradually congregated or were pushed into the Nile valley by desertification

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