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Jim eats an onion for dinner in front of Dwight Dwight’s beet stew remains untouched
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Nov 14, 2023 07:40
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| # ? May 30, 2024 07:02 |
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Jim ruins the inertia in one of Dwight’s favorite threads by posting twice in a row.
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Nov 14, 2023 07:51
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Jim takes up writing under pseudonym and creates one of the most beloved series of fantasy novels. Each book creates more excitement among the fan base. Jim then manages to get Dwight hooked on the book series. The penultimate book of the series is the most critically acclaimed entry. But to Dwight's slight disappointment Jim never finishes the last one.
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Nov 14, 2023 10:22
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Jim leads Dwight to believe that a slightly disappointing author might have died, making him check on Google.
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Nov 14, 2023 11:45
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After the penultimate book has been published Jim produces the television adaptation of the beloved book series. It goes on to win multiple awards and is as popular if not more so than the books. Dwight who is waiting for the last book watches the adaptation as well. To his slight disappointment however he concludes that the last season is not as good as the previous ones. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 14, 2023 13:55
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Jim slowly eats a still living Minion, piece by piece, in front of Dwight. Everyone is silent.
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Nov 14, 2023 14:22
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Jim sends out a mass email to everyone at Dunder-Mifflin, warning all employees that Minions 2: the Rise of Gru will be leaving Netflix at the end of November. Earlier, Jim trapped Dwight inside Minions 2: the Rise of Gru and Dwight fully experiences the entire movie every time someone watches. Jim mugs for the screen as he ques up Minions 2: the Rise of Gru on his phone for the fifth consecutive time that day.
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Nov 14, 2023 16:00
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Jim - posing as the author of a book series Dwight has read - makes sexist, transphobic and homophobic remarks on a social media platform. This retroactively reduces Dwight's enjoyment of the books slightly.
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Nov 14, 2023 17:13
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Jim gains the rights to the Lord of the Rings franchise and authorizes a series of cheap, cash-grab novels that retcon major events from the books and introduce paper-thin, boring characters and conflicts. Dwight, who still considers himself a "Ring-head", is dismayed to see one of his favorite fictional universes strip-mined for content. Jim then shows up to work dressed as "Super Evilor", a "new and original character" that appears in "The Lord of the Rings: The Falcon Saga: Dead 2 Rights" and is described as "even more powerful than Sauron and with motivations beyond human understanding". Super Evilor then kicks Dwight in the balls. When Dwight protests that this isn't even a prank Jim, still dressed as Super Evilor, gives him the middle finger. "Oh and you better believe that's gonna be in the next book, Dwight!" Jim mugs for the camera.
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Nov 14, 2023 17:21
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Jim reduces the coefficient of friction in the local area, causing things to slip out of Dwight's hands a lot
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Nov 14, 2023 17:24
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim gains the rights to the Lord of the Rings franchise and authorizes a series of cheap, cash-grab novels that retcon major events from the books and introduce paper-thin, boring characters and conflicts. Dwight, who still considers himself a "Ring-head", is dismayed to see one of his favorite fictional universes strip-mined for content. Jim authorizes the reveal that Sauron also made a "back up ring" and then turned to an Orc and said "This is plan B. B for BETTER NOT HAPPEN!" while chuckling to himself. Then his doorbell rings and it's Morgoth, who Sauron forgot was coming over for a big fancy feast. "Oh crap! Listen, go hide this backup ring but don't tell anybody where it is! Not even me! I might just need this one day..." Thus the backup ring, referred to in text as the "Super Duper Ring", fell into the mists of history. Until, after the events of the Lord of the Rings, the ring was found by a member of the race of men known only as Jim.
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Nov 14, 2023 17:33
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jim leaps from a cupboard and slashes at dwight with a butterfly knife, for some reason. dwight suffers tendon damage and loses a lot of functionality in his left hand.
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Nov 14, 2023 17:41
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Jim sells the rights of a book series Dwight has read to a media conglomerate. It then goes on to produce the blandest, most boring, design-by-committee adaptations known to mankind. Dwight is unsure how to feel about it. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 14, 2023 17:48
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Jim vows to continue a book series his father has written. After a few publications it becomes clear that the project is a failure: the writing is markedly worse, the plot inconsistent and pandering, the ideas presented not worth pursuing. Dwight has not read the original series but does feel slightly bad for fans of it. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 14, 2023 18:16
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Jim—posing as the author of a book series Dwight has read—makes a series of insightful, empathetic comments in support of various good causes on social media. Dwight remarks later in public to a group of friends that he supports the author and agrees with them about almost everything. Dwight's friends who know the truth—that the author is a sexist, homophobic, transphobic, racist—are horrified by Dwight's declaration and stop speaking to him.
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Nov 14, 2023 18:20
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Jim enchants a porcelain doll and hides it in Dwight's house. Unfortunately for Jim, Dwight befriends the doll and gives it a job working in the beet fields. Jim is even more dismayed when he realizes the doll makes more money than him and has a better retirement plan.
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Nov 14, 2023 19:03
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Jim writes a popular children's book and sells the movie rights to Disney. Disney produces 4 movies, 3 spinoffs and a twelve season long TV show based on the main character. Dwight has to drive past a billboard of the main character every day on his way to work for two years and is slightly annoyed by that.
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Nov 14, 2023 19:56
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Jim traps Dwight in a sinking submarine. To add insult to injury, the submarine is sinking in the bowl of a gigantic toilet. Jim mugs as he pushes the gigantic flush lever.
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Nov 14, 2023 20:55
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Jim draws adventure comic books and publishes them at an indie publisher. Just when the comic gets popular and Dwight starts to read it, Jim series the rights to Sony. Jim then reboots the comic series: dark and gritty in a way that adds nothing to the characters and is detrimental to the story in several ways. Dwight then quits reading and has to fill the half an hour a month he spent reading the comic with slightly less entertaining options. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 14, 2023 23:29
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Jim convinces Brian Herbert that the world is crying out for more novels in the Dune universe.
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Nov 14, 2023 23:57
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Jim and Kevin J. Anderson collaborate on a novel that answers the burning question: "what if the Minions hadn't been trapped in ice after the Napoleonic Wars and ended up working for Hitler?" "Since the dawn of time, Minions are compelled to serve the most evil master they can find," Jim explains at a Comic Con panel with Kevin J. Anderson and Will Wheaton. "So, canonically, the Minions would have served Hitler if they hadn't been trapped in that ice cave since the 1800s." Dwight is sick in the hospital with severe food poisoning and is too weak to change th channel as he watches the interview from his hospital bed. Jim looks directly into the camera and mugs as Kevin J. Anderson explains how the novel is 100% faithful to Sergio Pablos's vision for the Minions.
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Nov 15, 2023 01:31
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Through horrific medical experiments Jim manages to create an actual living Minion. The world trembles before his power and his nerve, and Dwight, asleep in bed, is woken suddenly by a growing sense of dread.
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Nov 15, 2023 02:01
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Upgrade posted:Jim convinces Brian Herbert that the world is crying out for more novels in the Dune universe. I always assumed that the J in Kevin J Anderson stood for "Jitler" but I guess it could stand for "Jim"
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Nov 15, 2023 03:04
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Jim writes a novel that is widely recognized as one of the great novels of our time. Especially well regarded is the diverse set of characters, their characterization and their motivations in the complex world we live in. Even Dwight adores the novel and when he finds out that Jim stops at Scranton for his book tour he books a ticket. He especially looks forward to the Q&A session at the end hoping to catch a glimpse of how Jim thought of the protagonists in his novel. When the day of the book tour comes, Jim offers the most simplistic, banal and contradictory explanations for questions on the characters. Dwight leaves with the feeling that there is not anything of artistic value behind the novel and the disappointment of having something cherished taken away from him. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 15, 2023 09:16
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Jim makes a sequel to Despicable Me (young Beetrum’s favorite movie) that is a cheap cash in which focuses entirely on the Minions characters, full of cheap laughs and forgettable, low effort scenes. With slight trepidation Dwight gives in to Beetrum’s begging and takes him to the theater. Beetrum leaves with the feeling that there is not anything of artistic value behind the movie and the disappointment of having something cherished taken away from him. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 15, 2023 09:42
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Jim lures Dwight into The Dungeons of Fear & Hunger (Scranton Branch)
Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Nov 15, 2023 |
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Nov 15, 2023 09:48
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jim places an advert in Scranton News that dwight's barn is the site of a No Loads Refused gangbang dwight has to spend his saturday evening turning away disappointed visitors
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Nov 15, 2023 10:05
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Jim buys the Scranton News, a local newspaper improbably still distributing daily printed papers in the year 2023, for several millions of dollars. He quickly makes this back by transforming the periodical into a gay pornographic rag. Dwight is left slightly disappointed by the continued demise of local news coverage.
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Nov 15, 2023 10:10
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Jim ruins Dwight's favorite manga series by buying its publisher and then demanding unreasonable timelines detrimental to the author's health and pandering plot changes. Dwight over the years loses interest in the series and in the end does not bother to finish it. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 15, 2023 12:06
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Jim hires Wil Wheaton to recap everything Jim did at the end of each workday. "Before we start, this segment contains MAJOR SPOILERS!" Warns Wil as sirens blare in the background and an insert with the caption SPOILER ALERT appears next to Wil's red, blotchy face. "So if you haven't seen today's episode of American Workplace go back and watch right now!" The camera switches to a shot that includes Jim and Pam at the table next to Wil. Wil turns to the couple. "Oh em gee! Jim, when you pooped in Dwight's shoes, my mind was blown!" Wil Wheaton fawns over Jim, his fake laugh and too-big smile at odds with the obvious pain in his eyes. "And then Dwight PUT THEM ON! It was 'leet' epicness all the way down!" Jim smiles and chuckles. "Jim how crazy was it when Dwight tried to pour himself a cup of coffee and the jug was full of stinging wasps?" asks Wil. "Dwight was all like 'aaah! Aaaah!'" "So crazy," agrees Jim. "Jim, I have to say, putting a tiny trampoline in the toilet so that when Dwight pooped in it the poop bounced back up INTO his butt? A stroke. Of. Genius!" Wil giggles, smiling despite apparently being on the verge of tears. "The hardest part was finding a tiny trampoline," says Jim. "We had to order it from a company in Scandinavia. What was the name of it, Pam? It had us rolling." Pam pours some gin into her wineglass from a flask in her blazer pocket. Wil watches awkwardly but Jim reacts as if Pam answered him. "Puppentrampo! That's right!" Jim laughs. Wil laughs in the exact same way but twice as long. "Jim, we've seen a lot of footage of you tinkering on something big in the infamous prankatorium. Can you tell us—if you can—what is going on there?" pleads Wil, who wears a grin reminiscent of a person who is trying to conceal the pain of having stepped on a nail. "Haha," Jim chuckles again. "I'm not sure I should say..." "Haha," Wil chuckles and slaps his knee. "And Pam," Wil continues without following up on his previous question. "A lot of fans are speculating that was your silhouette we saw with the boom mike operator behind the boxes in the warehouse. Possible love triangle brewing?" Pam chokes on her wine. Jim's expression darkens and Wil briefly looks fearful before hitching up his fake smile again. "Haha crazy fan theories am I right?" stammers Wil. "S-s-so Jim, can we expect to see the Super Squeaky Shoe Machine again soon?" Jim has gotten bored and wandered off. Pam is sobbing. Wil smiles awkwardly at the camera untill the feed cuts.
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Nov 15, 2023 13:51
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Jim ruins Dwight's favorite manga series by buying the publisher, killing the author and having him replaced by his second-rate assistants. Fortunately for Dwight this happens after Dwight already lost interest in the series (see above). Jim mugs the camera as his mug shot is taken for the murder investigation.
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Nov 15, 2023 14:28
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John Krasinski ruins Rainne's favorite television series by buying the studio, killing the showrunner, and having him replaced by his second-rate assistants. Fortunately for Rainne this happens after he already lost interest in the series (due to its increasingly unhinged, obscene, bizarre, and Minions-themed plot lines). John mugs the camera as his mug shot is taken for the murder investigation.
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Nov 15, 2023 20:32
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Who at Dunbar Muffin was in charge of IT? Cause it doesn't seem they had an it person at all
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Nov 15, 2023 21:27
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The IT guy is named Dunbar Muffin.
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Nov 15, 2023 21:30
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It was the Indian guy who said he liked hip hop music in like one episode Michael was racist to him until he quit and Jim unofficially took over his duties in the season four episode “Banzai Buddy Suicide”
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Nov 15, 2023 21:37
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Jim ruins Dwight's enjoyment of any popular media product at all by popularizing hundreds of thousands of slight falsehoods about beet farming that get constantly and unpromptedly mentioned. Dwight takes up meditation and obtains nirvana. Jim mugs the camera.
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Nov 15, 2023 22:26
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Jim reboots The IT Crowd with the help of original creator Graham Linehan. This also causes Jim to speak in an exaggerated "Irish" accent for weeks, culminating in him calling Dwight a "feckin idjit".
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Nov 15, 2023 22:30
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Jim starts loudly clicking his pen while Pam starts an audio file on her computer that sounds like a timer ticking down. Jim clicks again and the audio loudly says "BOMB ACTIVATED, COUNTDOWN TO EXPLOSION INITIATED". Dwight, worried that the two lovers are going to set off an actual bomb, rushes to Michael's office for assistance. "Jim?" an exasperated Michael asks. "I'm hearing something about a timer ticking down?" "Nah, just clicking my pen. See?" Jim violently clicks his pen a few times, mugging all the while. Michael sighs and tells Dwight that everything seems fine, just try and ignore these two. Dwight sits back down as Jim and Pam start giggling again. Jim clicks his pen again, and this time Pam's computer starts playing an alarm. "BOMB DETONATION IN 3 SECONDS! 2! 1!" Jim then slaps Dwight across the face and smiles at him. "Whatcha gonna do, Dwight? You gonna hit me? I loving dare you. I loving double dog dare you." Dwight clenches his fist and takes a deep breath. He stands up and walks outside to get some fresh air. He looks up at the office window. Jim and Pam have both pulled their pants down and have pressed their butt cheeks against the window. Dwight sighs again. 20 minutes later, Dwight cautiously makes his way back to his desk. Jim leans in and whispers. "You could end this, Dwight. Just break us up again. Slip Pam a little glass of wine, see how she reacts." Jim mugs for the camera.
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Nov 16, 2023 14:52
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Jim starts loudly clicking his pen. Every time Jim clicks his pen, the noise gets louder. Soon Dwight is actually buffeted by the force of sound exploding out of Jim's pen. Dwight tries to flee but Jim clicks his pen again and the floor heaves under Dwight and he falls to the ground, ears bleeding. Jim mugs and clicks the pen a final time, unleashing a blast that levels the building.
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Nov 16, 2023 16:17
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| # ? May 30, 2024 07:02 |
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Jim clicks his pen three times, activating the explosive timer contained within (Jim has never seen the 1995 film Goldeneye).
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Nov 16, 2023 18:10
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