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Going for a holiday cycle ride in rural France and getting the living poo poo kicked out of me by the village of Frou-Croix because they think I'm ahead of their local lad.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:24
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Or maybe they just clocked me as British from 100m and did their traditional needful.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:25
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Failed Imagineer posted:They should keep this bit imo. Yeah, the doping sucks because it ruins it for the riders who don't want to dope, but the doping itself doesn't take away from the immense & frankly inhumane achievement that completing 21 stages of riding in 23 days is. Granted, I'm am not exactly all skin & bones like a Chris Froome & so have presumably absolutely dogshit power to weight ratios, but I know how hard I find just riding up a 100m climb that's maybe 5% gradient. And here they are doing 150+km a day, often up actual mountains. It's ludicrous. No poo poo they need narcotic assistance to recover to the same poo poo the next day. I do remember a fun story where on the off-season Geraint Thomas was on holiday with his wife & they walked up some short hill & he was just completely knackered doing it because his muscles that weren't about riding a bike were totally neglected.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:29
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As a kid I hated Wimbeldon and Tour De France as they ate up kids shows for their banality. But I thought Tour De France was cooler as they allowed people to draw on the roads. And for a while I wanted to go to it, so I could draw on the road. Probably a cock and balls, but still.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:30
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I am fully in favour of more ludicrous sporting events with doping. To be honest I’m desperate to find out how far we can push things like the 100m. I reckon with the right combo of drugs we can get to under 5 seconds, even if the runner probably does die as soon as they hit the finish line.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:33
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Jakabite posted:I am fully in favour of more ludicrous sporting events with doping. To be honest I’m desperate to find out how far we can push things like the 100m. I reckon with the right combo of drugs we can get to under 5 seconds, even if the runner probably does die as soon as they hit the finish line. That's a slippery slope because someone is going to graft wheels on their feet and zoom over the finish line like some proto-40k tech priest.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:40
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Engineering an augmented goalkeeper who's just a 24x8 foot flesh oblong. e: 
Guavanaut fucked around with this message at 11:45 on Nov 16, 2023 |
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Nov 16, 2023 11:42
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Someone make Speedball 2 real.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:46
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Guavanaut posted:Engineering an augmented goalkeeper who's just a 24x8 foot flesh oblong.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:49
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MY SHEET IS CLEAN! MY SHEET IS CLEEEEEAN!! ______________________/
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Nov 16, 2023 11:52
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https://amp.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/nov/16/the-crown-season-6-review-so-bad-its-like-an-out-of-body-experience-netflix GHOST DIANA!
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Nov 16, 2023 11:52
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Jakabite posted:I am fully in favour of more ludicrous sporting events with doping. To be honest I’m desperate to find out how far we can push things like the 100m. I reckon with the right combo of drugs we can get to under 5 seconds, even if the runner probably does die as soon as they hit the finish line. Disqualified for bursting into a cloud of blood before fully crossing the finish line, missing out on a sub 4-second world record.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:52
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TACD posted:dimly remembering this concept as a gag in one of the Red Dwarf books I think? Yes. GELFs are banned from sporting events after Scotland made one that was eight feet tall and 14 feet wide to use as a goalkeeper.
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Nov 16, 2023 11:55
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TACD posted:dimly remembering this concept as a gag in one of the Red Dwarf books I think? Communist Bear posted:https://amp.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/nov/16/the-crown-season-6-review-so-bad-its-like-an-out-of-body-experience-netflix
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Nov 16, 2023 11:57
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Z the IVth posted:That's a slippery slope because someone is going to graft wheels on their feet and zoom over the finish line like some proto-40k tech priest. This reminds me of one of the Dark Horse Alien comics. Basically, it's discovered that the Queen Aliens have this substance (I think they call Royal Jelly) that is made in the Hives. People discover that if they refine the jelly it becomes a drug that's a super performance enhancer. There is then this scene of an athlete taking one before the 200M dash where he races past everyone, smashes the world record and then just runs full tilt into the stadium wall and splats himself. And the last bit is everyone talking about how tragic this was and what a waste of life. Only this one guy is like "yeah! But did you see the time he set?" And like my mind always comes back to this whenever I hear people argue for doping allowed sports. Like either you have no limits, and the end point is "and now the athlete has exploded." Or you put in some limits, and it becomes farcical because everyone is just going to start at those limits and work out how they can cheat to get over that line.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:05
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That just sounds like 1970s era Formula 1.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:08
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Z the IVth posted:That's a slippery slope because someone is going to graft wheels on their feet and zoom over the finish line like some proto-40k tech priest. Look at slow coach here. Its first past the line, so you just need to shoot a part of your own body over 100m.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:08
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Guavanaut posted:That just sounds like 1970s era Formula 1. And 90s, when they could use computer aided poo poo and got higher top speeds.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:09
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My not entirely serious hot take is that we should have sports divisions that are 100% cool with doping and everybody's allowed to take whatever the hell they want. I want to really see what insane heights the human body can achieve when it is freed of all restraints. Yes, I know this would be a terrible idea.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:11
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My hot take is that there should be no professional sports. All sports institutions are corrupt shills for dictators and exploiters and must be demolished. Leave nothing standing.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:17
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I'm not that fussed how quickly somebody can cover an arbitrary distance. An obstacle course is better.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:23
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Petitioning once again for Takeshi's Castle to be included in the Olympics
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Nov 16, 2023 12:26
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I'm surprised there's not some kind of combined obstacle course style event in athletics tbh, would love to see that at the Olympics.
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Nov 16, 2023 12:29
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ThomasPaine posted:I'm surprised there's not some kind of combined obstacle course style event in athletics tbh, would love to see that at the Olympics. Then you're in for a treat, because modern pentathlon will be replacing Horse Abuse with something different: quote:Obstacle was formally integrated into Modern Pentathlon by the 72nd UIPM Congress in November 2022, having been selected by the New 5th Discipline Working Group as the most suitable replacement for Riding after the Paris 2024 Olympic Games. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kT0ADViiU0 Nenonen fucked around with this message at 12:36 on Nov 16, 2023 |
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Nov 16, 2023 12:33
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Ash Crimson posted:Kier starmer poo poo pee pee person Concerning
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Nov 16, 2023 12:34
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Failed Imagineer posted:Petitioning once again for Takeshi's Castle to be included in the Olympics only if they get getter commentators than Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis
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Nov 16, 2023 12:46
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The Liquor Snurf posted:only if they get getter commentators than Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis I refuse to acknowledge any Takeshi other than the Craig Charles Era. Maybe even further back to Chris Tarrant if that counts
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Nov 16, 2023 12:49
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ThomasPaine posted:My not entirely serious hot take is that we should have sports divisions that are 100% cool with doping and everybody's allowed to take whatever the hell they want. I want to really see what insane heights the human body can achieve when it is freed of all restraints. Again, if you are fine with this you have to accept that the logical endpoint to doing so is "up next in boxing, Johnny Chainsaw-arms!"
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Nov 16, 2023 13:15
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Jedit posted:Yes. GELFs are banned from sporting events after Scotland made one that was eight feet tall and 14 feet wide to use as a goalkeeper. And still didn't make the second round.
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Nov 16, 2023 13:25
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Olympic That Gauntlet Round from Gladiators
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Nov 16, 2023 13:35
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happyhippy posted:As a kid I hated Wimbeldon and Tour De France as they ate up kids shows for their banality. The TdF has a specific team dedicated to cock and ball removal: https://youtu.be/UBJWqhgQrVc?si=WsYei3zfx6emfpxB
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Nov 16, 2023 13:52
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There should be an Olympic event for moving a sleeping toddler from the car into bed. I'm thinking of going pro
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Nov 16, 2023 13:54
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Modern professional athletics is a bit weird when you get right into it, because all the training is so intense and perfected now that you’re basically competing based on whose body has the best genetics or hormone balance. Which means doping tries to target that and leads to situations like cis female athletes being banned for having “too much” natural testosterone. So like, what are we doing in athletics exactly? It feels like it wants to be something like Formula 1 where all the cars fit within precisely defined specifications so it’s a competition purely on the skill of drivers, constructors, and pit crew but the human body doesn’t conform to specs like that.
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Nov 16, 2023 14:01
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ThomasPaine posted:My not entirely serious hot take is that we should have sports divisions that are 100% cool with doping and everybody's allowed to take whatever the hell they want. I want to really see what insane heights the human body can achieve when it is freed of all restraints. If we’re getting all the poo poo boring parts of a dystopia I’d quite a few of the fun parts like this
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Nov 16, 2023 14:06
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All pro athletics to be conducted by specially engineered clones to ensure fairness. Baseline humans are only allowed to play at the amateur level.
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Nov 16, 2023 14:07
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Personally i thought Tom and Romesh were very funny and the new version was a bit less casually racially insensitive than the slightly badly aged craig charles version. Having watched so much takeshi in the past it was neat to see more of the actual format and rules being explained, which only highlighted how ludicrously unfair and arbitary the game is at all times. The new stepping stones wiping out all 50 contestants on the first go and the saga of the original Ninja Warrior guy repeatedly eating poo poo was great stuff and the older localisation of the show would have glossed over it all. The new one was just an anniversary thing but i hope they bring it back properly 8 episodes was way too few.
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Nov 16, 2023 14:08
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SixFigureSandwich posted:There should be an Olympic event for moving a sleeping toddler from the car into bed. I'm thinking of going pro As the event becomes more and more competitive it would eventually evolve into Toddler Discus
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Nov 16, 2023 14:10
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TACD posted:So like, what are we doing in athletics exactly? It feels like it wants to be something like Formula 1 where all the cars fit within precisely defined specifications so it’s a competition purely on the skill of drivers, constructors, and pit crew but the human body doesn’t conform to specs like that. F1 is a constructor championship, the teams are also competing to construct a better car than the others. There are some limits but it's not an even competition like that, some cars are simply superior.
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Nov 16, 2023 14:22
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Mr Phillby posted:Personally i thought Tom and Romesh were very funny and the new version was a bit less casually racially insensitive than the slightly badly aged craig charles version. To be honest I only lasted about 1/4 of an episode before turning it off, It just felt like they were recording a lazy podcast with Takeshi's castle on in the background
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Nov 16, 2023 14:22
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Brendan Rodgers posted:F1 is a constructor championship, the teams are also competing to construct a better car than the others. There are some limits but it's not an even competition like that, some cars are simply superior. The Pharma Constructor championship would be Pfizer, GSK, Merck, and Novartis competing to produce the most advanced metahumans.
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Nov 16, 2023 14:34
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