PYF Schadenfreude: Look at this pigs huge ball

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Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

CainFortea posted:

Are there turkey carving robots I don't know about?

Nah. Just meant you didn't need a knife. Meat was just falling off the bone.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 00:24

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

please take turkey chat to GWS or the horrible food thread

I refuse to recognise the sovereignty of Turkey.

All hail Greek Anatolia.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:20

King Carnivore: Dec 17, 2007; Graveyard Disciple

Air Skwirl posted:

So there's multiple news stories of Russian men getting black out drunk and ending up in pipes with no idea how they got there, in different cities in Russia, hundreds of miles apart?

Buddy, I don�t think the list of drunk gopniks getting stuck in pipes ends at two. Not even close.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:39

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

FreudianSlippers posted:

I refuse to recognise the sovereignty of Turkey.

All hail Greek Anatolia.

Greater Greater Macedonia

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:40

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

If I got stuck in a foot-wide pipe, I'm pretty certain my psyche would be irreversibly shattered.
Maybe getting really drunk and/or living in Russia insulates you from the worst of the soul-damage?

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:45

Mushika: Dec 22, 2010

Tree Bucket posted:

If I got stuck in a foot-wide pipe, I'm pretty certain my psyche would be irreversibly shattered.
Maybe getting really drunk and/or living in Russia insulates you from the worst of the soul-damage?

Schade's on you for believing anyone in the industrialized world has a soul left.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:52

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

Tree Bucket posted:

Maybe getting really drunk and/or living in Russia insulates you from the worst of the soul-damage?

This is very much a chicken/egg situation. Except the chicken has been embezzled and sold for a new dacha and the egg never existed, what are you talking about, what egg.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 05:54

ThisIsJohnWayne: Feb 23, 2007; Ooo! Look at me! NO DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Trabant posted:

This is very much a chicken/egg situation. Except the chicken has been embezzled and sold for a new dacha and the egg never existed, what are you talking about, what egg.

And you are the chicken. The egg is your family.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 06:10

King Carnivore: Dec 17, 2007; Graveyard Disciple

Here�s a Russian language source about the St Petersburg pipeman, reads decently in Google translate. LMAO, an engineer they interviewed makes a Shawshank reference in the clip, just saying the situation reminded him of the finale to Shawshank Redemption. The pipe was at the St Pete airport and a lawyer for them says they wanna go after him for the cost of his rescue. Good luck getting blood out of that stone!

This dude has some problems beyond just being drunk, the news said he was reported missing days prior by his family and had quit his job, drove out of town and abandoned his car at the train station where he boarded a train for St Pete, the next he�s heard from he�s being sawed out of the pipe. He was also keeping a diary with strange writings. Sounds like undiagnosed schizophrenia to me. For clarity wrt Google translate, when it says he�s wanted, it more means sought. He was a missing person, not a wanted criminal.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 06:15

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

darkwasthenight posted:

Russia has 140 million people. If somebody told you it happened twice to the same guy in Florida we'd all just nod thoughtfully

Where's that report of a Chinese man crawling naked into a drain pipe and peeping at underskirts through the grate

# ? Dec 2, 2023 06:46

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Did they ever find out if his real name is George Santos? I remember hearing something about how he didn't have any big form of id.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 08:21

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

freeedr posted:

Weird that it took so long but also weird that they�re acting like it�s strange for there to be a conman in congress

I often think about running for some regularly empty or uncontested city council seat, even though I am grossly unqualified, just to have a few years of stable income. I'll even try to do the job in a way that benefits people who don't have lots of money.*

Santos had the same idea, but with no qualms about actively making our country a worse place, as requested by those with the most money to funnel into his anus.

*I don't even know if this is even anything a city council person could effect. I seriously have no clue what the city council does.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 08:24

Roundup Ready: Mar 10, 2004; ACCIDENTAL SHIT POSTER

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Did they ever find out if his real name is George Santos? I remember hearing something about how he didn't have any big form of id.

Anthony George Santos Devolder. Aka Kitara Revache, when doing drag in Brazil.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 08:47

GotLag: Jul 17, 2005; 食べちゃダメだよ

poo poo Fuckasaurus posted:

https://imgur.com/a/0Yb3wxz

Oof, it loving sucked when I broke one metatarsal, she looks like she's broken multiple per foot

# ? Dec 2, 2023 08:48

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Nobody Interesting posted:

What is going on there

Sometimes the next generation of oil rig workers can't hatch on their own and require assistance

# ? Dec 2, 2023 09:21

Shit Fuckasaurus: Oct 14, 2005; i think right angles might be an abomination against nature you guys; Lipstick Apathy

Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:

So what are you supposed to do if everyone eating Thanksgiving dinner is one or both of the above?

E: This is a serious question as this was my situation this year.

To give you a real answer, sous vide will allow you to pasteurize anything, given the correct time/temp. J. Kenji L�pez-Alt is a widely well-regarded authority on this topic, here is his Sous Vide starter guide and here is his Thanksgiving turkey recipe which includes a time/temp pasteurization guide for turkey based on the USDA's recommendations. Oh, and here's the GWS thread about Sous Vide, feel free to post any questions you have there and I or some other nerd will be happy to answer them.

GotLag posted:

Oof, it loving sucked when I broke one metatarsal, she looks like she's broken multiple per foot

That was one of the rare ones that hurts deep down in my soul, but at the same time the comedic timing is perfect.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 09:27

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Mr. Nice! posted:

Here's how I did my turkey.

I did a regular brine. I used pickling salt because it dissolves better in any temp water than other salts and has less precipitation as a result. Also in the brine was brown sugar, apple juice, fresh rosemary, fresh bay leaves, a bunch of minced garlic, some orange peels, a squeezed orange, and a few other spices and things. We put in the mix and topped it with water. Had it brining for around 24 hours before we pulled it out, dried it, and injected it with a cajun butter mix my lady whipped up. Fried it at 325 until the deepest meat was at temp. It was by far the best turkey I've ever cooked and the skin was to die for. My gf and her brother basically picked the carcass clean the next day while we were sorting out leftovers.

Mr. Nice! posted:

This was my bird. So tender you could carve it by hand. The skin was incredible.

Definitely not doing an 18lbs bird again, but will always follow similar methods because it's just too drat good.

Lexorin posted:

Wet brine in just saltwater (nothing else added will penetrate anyway so gently caress it). De-bone the bird (and keep said bird in one piece) and use them bones for stock/gravy/stuffing. Put your now flat turkey on a tray in the fridge with just the skin exposed, so the skin dries out (Around 24 hours will do, this makes for extra crispy skin). Now herb-butter/oil that skin and cook the bird at 400-ish until it's internal temp is 175 (It's brined, so you need to burn off more water from your already waterlogged bird).

The only downside is you don't have a "traditional" looking bird, you just have a big 'ol pile of meat. Also the three days of prep time I guess.

Bookmarking turkey cooking tips. :thanks:

🙏

# ? Dec 2, 2023 09:36

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

Nobody Interesting posted:

What is going on there

mario try outs

# ? Dec 2, 2023 10:59

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

freeedr posted:

Weird that it took so long but also weird that they’re acting like it’s strange for there to be a conman in congress

Not really, all politicians are deathly afraid of punishing one of their own caste, it sets a dangerous precedent. Next time it might be them.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 11:23

Samovar: Jun 4, 2011; I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻

Brawnfire posted:

Turns out his toilet was too wide.

It's the logical conclusion to that skibidi toilet thing the youth are all about.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 11:29

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Oh god I wish it was me

# ? Dec 2, 2023 11:56

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Flush my life into toiltes

This is my last piss hole

# ? Dec 2, 2023 11:56

Fishstick: Jul 9, 2005; Does not require preheating

https://i.imgur.com/0riTzyU.mp4

# ? Dec 2, 2023 12:15

Hippocrass: Aug 18, 2015; That third panel of the first comic just makes it. It's still funny if you remove it, but that panel included just makes it top tier.

Hey, I'm flyin' here!

# ? Dec 2, 2023 12:28

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

someone threw that bird at his head from off camera

# ? Dec 2, 2023 12:44

Atticus_1354: Dec 10, 2006; barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

Bored posted:

I often think about running for some regularly empty or uncontested city council seat, even though I am grossly unqualified, just to have a few years of stable income.

You're going to be sorely disappointed when you get your first city council check.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 13:26

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

buh buh buh ooo mow mow buh buh ooo mow mow mow

# ? Dec 2, 2023 13:34

Crescent Wrench: Sep 30, 2005; The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.; Grimey Drawer

Fishstick posted:

https://i.imgur.com/0riTzyU.mp4

What sells this is the relatively non plussed reaction. No screaming or stomping, no chasing the bird, just rubbing his head and doing a double take like "well that was loving weird..."

# ? Dec 2, 2023 14:04

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Fishstick posted:

https://i.imgur.com/0riTzyU.mp4

Pigeowned

# ? Dec 2, 2023 14:07

Mad Doctor Cthulhu: Mar 3, 2008

Crescent Wrench posted:

What sells this is the relatively non plussed reaction. No screaming or stomping, no chasing the bird, just rubbing his head and doing a double take like "well that was loving weird..."

Even the pigeon isn't mad. It's like 'wow, too much nog. Sorry buddy' and wanders off in a daze.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 14:56

Flint_Paper: Jun 7, 2004; This isn't cool at all Looshkin! These are dark forces you're titting about with!

Flint_Paper posted:

I'm ~~not~~ a~~n ex~~p~~ert, but I'd~~ imagine ~~that d~~oin~~g this anywhere you can quickly get inside if there's a pro~~bl~~em is actually not the smartest location for your giant drum of liquid fl~~ame

# ? Dec 2, 2023 15:24

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Fishstick posted:

https://i.imgur.com/0riTzyU.mp4

$5 remake of Hitchcock�s �The Birds� is unsatisfactory.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 15:39

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Flint_Paper posted:

# ? Dec 2, 2023 15:48

Tagra: Apr 7, 2006; If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Non Compos Mentis posted:

someone threw that bird at his head from off camera

It's possible, but it's equally possible that the bird is sick..... or that it's extremely dumb because it's a pigeon and then is dazed after impact, much like when they bonk into windows.

# ? Dec 2, 2023 17:10

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

Flint_Paper posted:

Lol had to write that one out

# ? Dec 2, 2023 17:12

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer