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Jim just buss a nut in Dwight coffee
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Dec 7, 2023 00:00
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| # ? May 31, 2024 05:56 |
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Jim replaces Dwight’s normal decaf with caffeinated hazelnut coffee. Dwight, mildly allergic to both caffeine and hazelnuts, has an uncomfortable morning.
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Dec 7, 2023 00:26
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Jim creates an origami Dwight out of clown paper and brings it to life, imbuing the tiny figure with Dwight's personality and all of Dwight's memories up to that point. The origami Dwight silently screams and tries to flee but Jim catches origami Dwight and wipes his rear end with him before flushing him down the toilet. This is a prank on Dwight because the clown paper clogs the office toilet and causes it to overflow so that Dwight's shoes get poop water on them when he steps into the bathroom.
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Dec 7, 2023 00:37
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Dwight insists on everyone finally switching from ineffecient bulbs to LEDs. They produce more light with less power. Even Jim agrees to Dwight's request. That night, as Dwight is driving home, someone is driving towards him with their brights on. Dwight flashes his brights once as a courtesy and the other driver responds... A moment later, Dwight's entire field of vision of engulfed by a light brighter than a supernova and he swerves off the road and into a ditch. Climbing out of his car and blindly groping for anything to steady himself, he heard Jim's trademark bad muffler from the approaching car as it slowed down. "I took your advice and replaced all my bulbs with high power LEDs! You were right! Did you see how powerful my highbeams are now!? It's like driving in the daylight now!"
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Dec 7, 2023 00:47
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Jim “brownshirts” Dwight, breaking the windows of his farm, disrupting his community meetings, and misquoting Nietzsche at him.
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Dec 7, 2023 01:33
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Jim “browncoats” Dwight, following him around constantly singing “Take my love, take my land, Take me where I cannot stand. I don't care, I'm still free, You can't take the sky from me. Take me out to the black, tell them I’m not coming back. I don’t care, I’m still free, you can’t take my pranks from me.”
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Dec 7, 2023 01:34
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Jim “browncoats” Dwight, forcing him to dress up in a leather duster and silly woolen beanie and attend midnight screenings of the television show “Firefly” and its follow-up movie “Serenity”. E: ^^^goddamit 
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Dec 7, 2023 01:35
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Multi prank drifting
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Dec 7, 2023 01:40
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On a warm sunny Saturday, Dwight is peacefully walking in the woods when he passes a small box turtle. The turtle slowly turns it's head towards Dwight and emits a piercing, deafening shriek. Dwight hurries away. He doesn't understand how, but surmises that Jim is behind it somehow.
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Dec 7, 2023 02:11
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Dwight is in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden he looks down, and he sees a tortoise. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without Dwight's help. But Dwight doesn't help because he suspects a prank by Jim. Later, when Dwight is being questioned by the Blade Runners, he has a very difficult time answering their questions. Jim mugs at Dwight from the other side of the Voight Kampff machine.
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Dec 7, 2023 02:37
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Jim rewrites Dwight's employment contract, ensuring that Dwight now only gets paid 90 days late and only if he undertakes an extremely complex invoicing approval system.
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Dec 7, 2023 02:53
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Jim sends a reprogrammed T-800 from the future to protect Dwight from the T-1000 and to prepare Dwight for Judgment Day. The T-800 spends most its time at the farm. Mose's constant barking is a perpetual distraction to Dwight, causing Dwight to lose sleep, become fatigued, get killed by the T-1000, and most importantly, lose sales at work. Jim mugs at the reflective surface of the T-1000's skin.
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Dec 7, 2023 02:54
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Jim "browncoats" Dwight by coating Dwight in poop.
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Dec 7, 2023 05:45
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Jim "browncoats" Dwight by coating Dwight's coat in poop.
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Dec 7, 2023 05:55
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Jim "clearcoats" Dwight by dipping Dwight into a vat of varnish. Dwight emerges from the varnish, his forehead shinier than ever.
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Dec 7, 2023 06:09
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Dwight blames Jim for the existence of a new Willy Wonka movie, citing that he (Dwight) mentioned to Jim ONCE that he (Dwight) enjoyed both earlier film versions in their own way and he (Dwight) knows that Jim made the new Wonka movie happen! Jim, stands up in anger, and violently defends himself and claims he's the victim here. "Do you think I'm happy someone else is ruining something that brought you joy!? You wanna come at me and accuse me of something else I didn't do, one more time, motherfucker, and I'll loving beat your rear end!" Jim goes back to his computer and fumes as he watches the Wonka trailer, wishing he'd thought of this prank against Dwight first.
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Dec 7, 2023 06:22
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Jim “Final Fantasys” Dwight, goes on an adventure with his friends and kills God. Dwight has to console a deeply distraught Angela for months.
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Dec 7, 2023 08:03
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Dwight is in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden he looks down, and he sees a tortoise. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without Dwight's help. So Dwight obligingly squats down and flips the tortoise over. In so doing he triggers the antipersonnel mine that was hidden beneath it.
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Dec 7, 2023 08:21
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In an attempt to bring back the glory days of 'stapler in jello' Jim hides staples in Dwight's lunch soup. Dwight wonders why his mouth is bleeding before choking to death. Jim turns to the camera and mugs "Souped up."
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Dec 7, 2023 09:48
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Jim "Reverse Flashes" Dwight by installing microscopic magnetic bonds to replace the stitching on all of Dwight's clothes. When the two are alone, Jim triggers the magnets, causing Dwight's clothes to fly off Dwight's body and onto Jim's.
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Dec 7, 2023 11:09
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A Reddit community springs up called r/Prankpill where the members spend all day posting threads about how much they hate beet farmers and love playing pranks. The American beet industry suffers tremendously as beet farms all over the country are burned down, blown up, and encased, barns and all, in Jello. Beet farmers become the subject of vicious "pranks" that often leave them maimed or psychologically scarred. The FBI releases a report that over 70% of the posts on r/Prankpill come from Russia (a country well known for its beets) as part of an effort to weaken American beet production, but the lead moderator of r/Prankpill, USABorschtlover_69, denies the accusations, calling the report "prank news." Meanwhile, back at the office, Jim sits across from Dwight. Jim is eating a bowl of borscht and wearing an ushanka while blaring the National Anthem of the USSR on YouTube. When questioned about this, Jim declares himself a "free thinker" who is "based and prankpilled." When Dwight returns to his beet farm later that night, he discovers his entire beet crop has been replaced by Minions Funko Pops with beet leaves glued to their heads. Jim mugs for the webcam as he posts another video manifesto on r/Prankpill.
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Dec 7, 2023 13:00
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Jim and Dwight are ready to fly home after a multi-day sales conference in Chicago. Dwight is exhausted, Jim's been busting out "Chicago Style" pranks during the whole conference. Dwight shudders when he thinks about having to extract his stapler from a deep dish pizza. So much waste. As they line up to board their flight home a flight attendant steps towards Jim. "I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of room for luggage. Would you mind if we check your bag for you, free of charge?" Jim snorts at this, then turns away. "Sir, please. We're fully booked and checking your bag will help us get you in the air a lot faster. And, again, it's free of charge." Jim lifts his bag over his head and begins marching around the line. "I'm not afraid to take a stand! Everybody come take my hand! We'll walk this road together, through the storm!" Jim repeats this, louder and louder, as he walks around the gate and begins violently spasming in a strange act of defiance. The flight attendant looks at Dwight, exhaustion in her face. "Sir, are you this man's handler? Can you get him calmed down?" Dwight sighs, says that he is, and then pulls out a rubber Minion stress toy. Dwight squeaks it three times and Jim rushes over, finally pacified. Dwight explains to Jim that the bag's still making it home, this isn't any sort of attack against his freedom, and that it will actually make things easier on the plane. "Okay, but can I get my stuffed Minion out of my bag?" Dwight says that's fine. Jim grabs his Minion, hugs it tightly, and then gives the flight attendant the middle finger. "Here's my bag... BITCH!" The flight attendant tells Dwight that he's very strong to be doing what he's doing. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Dec 7, 2023 14:27
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Jim assures the flight attendant that he is willing and able to operate the emergency exit doors as he and Dwight settle themselves in for their flight. Later on, as an explosion is heard and the aircraft begins to shudder uncontrollably, Jim mugs for the camera just before our view turns to static and then cuts to black.
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Dec 7, 2023 15:12
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Dwight falls asleep on the flight and, really, who could blame him? He wakes up and looks out the window. Jim, nude except for a pair of red tennis shoes, is on the wing. He mugs at Dwight and begins bashing the plane's engine with his bare hands. Dwight yells and calls for a flight attendant. By the time she arrives, however, Jim is gone. "Sir, would you like something to help you sleep? I think maybe you're under some stress." Dwight says he is, but he'll skip the sedative. He looks behind him and sees Jim safely in his seat, asleep and clutching his stuffed Minion close to him. Dwight apologizes for the intrusion and tries to fall back asleep. He twists and turns a bit then looks out the window again. Jim's mugging face is pressed against the window. Dwight watches in horror as Jim walks back to the engine and begins punching and kicking at it, his nude body flopping in the wind. Dwight screams for help but, again, Jim disappears by the time a steward appears. Dwight demands to speak to the captain, saying that something is very wrong with the plane. The captain appears and speaks quietly. "Listen, you're not wrong. That engine DID go out. But it was hit by lightning, and we're fine even without it. I think maybe you saw the lightning strike and THOUGHT you saw a figure in there. So please, for the sake of everyone here, can we get you to calm down?" Dwight apologizes again and looks back. Jim is still asleep in his seat. Dwight closes the window cover and says he won't bother anyone again. It's just the stress, he says, it's been a very long week. The pilot gives a small nod to the steward and returns to the captain. It's not long before Dwight's sense of self-preservation and curiosity kicks in and he reaches towards the window cover. He has to know, he just has to. He looks back one last time. Jim is not in his seat. Dwight throws open the window and Jim, nude except for a pair of red tennis shoes, is tearing apart the wing of the plane. Dwight howls in terror and begins kicking at the window, hoping to knock it open and stop Jim from his insane quest. An air marshal grabs at Dwight but is too slow, Dwight manages to kick out the window and is already crawling out of the plane. The marshal grabs him by the leg and tries to yank him back, but Dwight is far too strong and continues his crawl towards Jim. Jim mugs at Dwight with a devilish glint in his eyes. Lightning flashes across the sky and illuminates him in all of his monstrous glory. Jim waddles over, places a soggy hand on Dwight's face, and then leaps into the stormy sky. A few minutes later, Dwight is wheeled away from the safely grounded plane in an ambulance, ranting and raving about "Jim on the wing of the plane". Jim stands in the crowd of onlookers. A man leans over and asks him what set Dwight off. "How the hell should I know? I was in the bathroom when he pulled his little stunt."
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Dec 7, 2023 15:34
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The flight attendant finds a compressed sealed plastic pouch that fell out of in Jim's bag on the plane. It slipped through screening and the crew are concerned. Jim assures them it's harmless and volunteers to open it up, pulling out a knife somehow also got past screening. The crew is scared until Jim quickly cuts open the plastic and pulls out the item inside. From the tiny compressed cube, a foam Minion doll starts to expand. It eventually grows to child-size and the crew is amused by it and suggests that Jim might have to hold it on his lap. Jim smiles and says that won't be possible. As they're talking it continues to grow to adult-size. The flight attendent's amusement turn to concerned and cautious giggles... Dwight has returned from the bathroom to hear screaming from first class. Running up to the front of the plane, he sees the divider between first and coach starting to buckle as a yellow foam shape begins to push through the opening. With no time to do anything else, Dwight runs to the back of the plane as the divider finally gives way and the expanding foam Minion begins to engulf coach as well. Dwight screams for acetone! Nail polish remover! Anything! He finds a small amount of chemicals in a storage closet that might do the trick. He knows it's not enough to dissolve the beast. It doesnt' matter anyway. He douses himself and begins to calculate his trajectory. Dwight hears screaming on the overhead from the cabin crew. He knows he only has seconds left... Taking a deep breath, but hoping not to be overwhelmed by the acetone, he runs as fast as he can and pushes his way through the body of the swelling Minion, dissolving a crevasse and screams to anyone behind him who can hear him to start climbing in behind him. 3 hours later, rescue teams find parts of the wreckage of the plane embedded in a Minion that measures the size of a building n the middle of an Indiana corn field. Dwight and numerous other survivors crawl from the orifice Dwight created, the foam cushioning of the Minion protecting them from the force of the impact. The iconic photo of the "Midwest Minion Miracle" is Dwight dragging himself out of what appears to be the rear end in a top hat of the Minion.
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Dec 7, 2023 16:58
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"Dwight could you open up these airline peanuts for me?" Jim asks. Dwight accepts the bag from Jim and begins to wrestle with the very small but very strong bag. "What's the deal with airline peanuts, am I right?" chortles Jim. Dwight grunts with effort as he finally manages to pop open the tiny bag. The moment the seal is broken, there's a scream of rushing air and a powerful suction yanks Dwight's eyeballs out of his skull and sucks them into the bag. Pandemonium erupts on the plane as Dwight screams with blood pouring down his face from empty eye sockets. Jim mugs for the camera. "I heard airline food really sucks, but this is ridiculous!" After a few seconds of silence, Jim says. "At least he won't have to watch the in-flight movie!" Jim smirks and nods, settling back into his seat and pulling a newspaper down over his eyes as flight attendants frantically try to apply first aid to a howling Dwight.
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Dec 7, 2023 19:45
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"Dwight could you open up these airline peanuts for me?" Jim asks. Dwight accepts the bag from Jim and begins to wrestle with the very small but very strong bag. "What's the deal with airline peanuts, am I right?" chortles Jim. Dwight grunts with effort as he finally manages to pop open the tiny bag. The moment the seal is broken, there's a scream from Jim, who suffers from a deathly peanut allergy. He spends his last minutes of life trying to mug the camera but his puffing face makes anything except a bloated smirk impossible.
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Dec 7, 2023 20:47
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Jim dumps Dwight in the middle of a transatlantic flight creating extremely awkward hours for Dwight.
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Dec 7, 2023 21:04
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Jim takes a dump on Dwight's lap in the middle of a transatlantic flight creating extremely smelly hours for Dwight.
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Dec 7, 2023 21:12
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Jim dumps Dwight in the middle of a Disney booze cruise while staring at Pam
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Dec 7, 2023 21:12
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"Why don't they make the whole airplane out of the stuff they make the black box out of? That's what I want to know," Jims says to Dwight during a sales conference. Dwight is about to explain aerodynamics when a man in a suit steps up to Jim. "Sir, could you say that again?" "Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box stuff?" The man wipes tears from his eyes and shakes Jim's hand again. He introduces himself as a representative of the Pennsylvania GOP. They're looking for a new face of the party and think that Jim, with his "folksy wisdom", is just what they need. "See, Dwight? They wanna know, too!" Jim is whisked away to Harrisburg and, over the next 8 months, transformed into a political candidate market tested to appeal to the average voter. He's lead around the state on the self-proclaimed "Black Box" tour for a series of town halls. Eventually, Jim makes his way back to Scranton. In front of a packed house, he stands with a microphone. "Thanks for coming out. As I've been around this great state there's just one thing on my mind - why don't they make the airplane out of the black box material?" The crowd erupts in cheers and representatives of the Republican party whisk Jim away as the crowd continues hooting and hollering for him. Over the next 20 years Jim is elected as a state representative, then a senator, then is elected the President of the United States. On his election night he stands before an adoring public and grabs a microphone. "Why... why don't they make the whole airplane out of the stuff they make the black box out of? If the plane crashes, only the black box survives. So why don't they make it all out of that stuff?" Jim's leadership causes a crisis in the Middle East which quickly escalates into a full scale conflict. At the same time, a mistranslation of one of Jim's speeches into Chinese causes China to declare war on the United States. As the bombs fall, Dwight's phone rings. He picks it up. Jim is on the other line, his voice barely recognizable. He's crying, openly weeping in fact, and he sounds scared. "Dwight... I just wanted to know why they didn't make the whole airplane out of that stuff. Nobody has told me! I keep asking and nobody tells me! So please, Dwight, tell me!" Dwight explains aerodynamics to Jim over the phone. Jim's silent for a moment, then lets out a contented sigh. "Thanks, Dwight. That's all I ever wanted. And... I'm sorry. For all of this. Goodnight." There's a gunshot on the other line and Dwight knows with certainty that Jim pulled that trigger. The line goes dead and Dwight looks up in the sky. A bomb is coming down directly on Scranton, specifically targeted as it's the hometown of the United States President. Dwight closes his eyes and tries to think of something pleasant in his final moments but can only visualize Jim's mugging face.
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Dec 7, 2023 21:14
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Jim makes up to Dwight but then dumps him again while on a cross country road trip.
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Dec 7, 2023 21:35
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Jim asks Dwight if he wants to join the “Mile High Club”. Dwight waits in the tiny restroom for over an hour before he accepts that he’s been stood up.
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Dec 7, 2023 21:40
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Jim finds a magic lamp and inside is a genie that gives him three wishes. When he is at work he uses his first wish to remove Dwight's shoes and socks, and uses his second wish to transport Dwight instantly into a hawthorn field next to the office. Dwight finally returns to his desk, scratched and annoyed. He starts to berate Jim but Jim uses his final wish to send Dwight back to the field.
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Dec 7, 2023 21:52
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Jim asks Dwight if he wants to join the “Mile High Club,” then bashes Dwight with a club.
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Dec 7, 2023 23:08
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"Dwight could you open up these airline peanuts for me?" Jim asks. Dwight accepts the bag from Jim and begins to wrestle with the very small but very strong bag. "What's the deal with airline peanuts, am I right?" chortles Jim. Dwight grunts with effort as he finally manages to pop open the tiny bag. The moment the seal is broken, there's a scream from Jim, who sees the peanuts flying everywhere. As the proverbial dust settles, only a few peanuts remain in the bag. A mortified Dwight hands over the almost empty bag to a visibly distressed Jim.
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Dec 8, 2023 01:48
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Jim asks Dwight if he wants to join the “Mile High Club”. Dwight waits in the tiny restroom for over an hour before he accepts that he’s been stood up. As Dwight leaves the tiny restroom, he falls from a mile up. A parachuting Jim mugs the camera as Dwight plummets through its field of view.
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Dec 8, 2023 01:49
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Jim asks if Dwight has ever joined the Mile High Club. He addresses this question to Angela. Angela is disgusted by the question and tells Jim both that it isn't his business and 'no.' Dwight grips his armrest, fully aware that he, Jim, and Pam know the truth and is terrified when and how Jim will reveal it to Angela.
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Dec 8, 2023 02:41
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"Knock knock" says Jim. "Who's there?" says Dwight. "Banana!" "Banana who?" says Dwight. "Knock knock" says Jim. "Who's there?" says Dwight. "Banana!" "Banana who?" says Dwight. "Knock knock" says Jim. "Who's there?" says Dwight. "Banana!" "Banana who?" says Dwight. ... .. . ...this exchange goes on for several hours, until finally... "Knock knock" says Jim. "Who's there?" says Dwight. "Banana!" "Banana who?" says Dwight. Jim then stands up and leaves without saying a word. Dwight never hears the end of the joke.
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Dec 8, 2023 02:41
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| # ? May 31, 2024 05:56 |
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Jim's Zorb (an inflatable plastic sphere large enough for a man) auto-inflates during the flight and erupts out of Jim's luggage, blocking the aisle and cutting off Dwight from the coach restrooms. Dwight tries to use the first class restrooms but is turned away by the flight attendant. The flight attendant is deaf to Dwight's pleas that it's an emergency and Dwight is forced to hold his urine for the entirety of the seven hour flight and an additional two hours afterwards because of Jim's "stolen valor" prank delaying everyone's debarkation while Jim (in U.S. Marine dress uniform) poses for a photo op with his golden retriever (actually a stray from the pound Jim has sourced via his connections as assistant dog catcher) in front of the gate. Dwight's urologist (Dr. Curologist) has some very stern words for Dwight at Dwight's next checkup.
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Dec 8, 2023 03:06
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