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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 15:05
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- Big Bowie Bonanza
- Dec 30, 2007
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please tell me where i can date this cute boy
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There's a "town bicycle" joke in here somewhere but I can't quite carry it off.
Let us know when you’ve unlocked it
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Dec 7, 2023 22:53
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- Kenshin
- Jan 10, 2007
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WIBTA if I went on a cruise with a man who wasn't my boyfriend?
Cruises are for assholes, they are loving terrible for the marine environment and they don't actually do much for local economies aside from enriching people who are already rich
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Dec 7, 2023 23:01
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- Pope Corky the IX
- Dec 18, 2006
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What are you looking at?
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I want to fart and sweat crab juice on a giant floating petri dish.
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Dec 7, 2023 23:04
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- deoju
- Jul 11, 2004
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All the pieces matter.
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Nap Ghost
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AITA for cancelling my best friend's bachelorette party after she "fired" me as a bridesmaid
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Dec 7, 2023 23:23
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- Kitfox88
- Aug 21, 2007
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Anybody lose their glasses?
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IT'S THEIR SPECIAL DAY YOU GOTTA INDULGE THEM
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Dec 7, 2023 23:24
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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Selling my services as the world's most universal bridesmaid.
Universal Soldier sequel got weird.
e: f,b
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Dec 7, 2023 23:40
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- edogawa rando
- Mar 20, 2007
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AITA for cancelling my best friend's bachelorette party after she "fired" me as a bridesmaid
You're not part of the bridal party any more! I wish I never invited you to the wedding!
Whoa whoa, what do you mean you don't want to pay $1100 out of pocket for a party for me?
OP posted:So the first time she messaged us, she didn't tell us nor explain what we were doing wrong. when we first all discussed it, she said she just had a moment of panic and stress took over, and she said things she didn't mean. The most recent time she had told me she'd be uncomfortable due to the fact we had a "fight" (the fight was her just removing me from the group chat and then cussing me out) she never told me what I wasn't respecting her wishes on unfortunately. But I will say she DID know she had a Bachelorette party, but the suprise was what it was going to be. I have spoke to MOH since this post and she has said that bride told her she just didn't know how she felt about a "skinny" girl next to her at the altar...
OP has also tried to update this post, but the ever vigilant AITA mods, in their infinite wisdom, made sure to remove the post and lock the thread immediately without providing a reason.
AITAH for refusing to forgive my parents after they disowned me when they thought I was a deadbeat dad?
call them up on a burner phone in a few years to tell them you're married and having a kid
Accept their undisowning, but make it a loving nightmare for them. Only turn up for holidays and events.
Thanksgiving: "I'm thankful for the fact that I know my parents think I'm an utter gently caress, and will take the word of a raving lunatic over mine, because apparently I'm a lovely piece of lovely poo poo and a gently caress according to mum and dad."
Christmas: "Oh boy, presents! I hope I get a pair of parents that don't think I'm a lovely piece of poo poo!"
New Years: "My resolution this year is to not remind my parents that they think I'm a loving piece of poo poo and that I should kill myself because they'll tae the word of a crazy person over mine! Whoops! I guess that didn't last long!"
And so on.
edogawa rando fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Dec 7, 2023
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Dec 7, 2023 23:42
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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AITA for making fun of my bully's facial deformity?
quote:
I (15M) was born with a big birth mark on my face, it looked like a large scar across my eye. And a few days ago in my ninth grade math class, a new student had started attending after moving a home, and therefore schools. This girl had something called AVM (example of this is what Nikki Lilly has), and she wasn't really a nice student.
Yesterday, as I was walking past her at her locker on the way to class, she glared at me and said "Hey there ugly Scarface". I was hurt, and also angered by her comment, and turned to her and shot back with "Ugly is pretty ironic from someone who looks like Sloth from The Goonies". After I said that, she held the top of her head immediately ran off crying. I got in trouble in the office and now have to spend the next week in detention during lunch for it, and I think it's unfair how she got off with no consequences for calling me ugly.
AITA?
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Dec 8, 2023 00:36
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- Big Bowie Bonanza
- Dec 30, 2007
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please tell me where i can date this cute boy
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Not wrong to retaliate but also an rear end in a top hat imo
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Dec 8, 2023 00:40
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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"I keep getting my family's poo poo stolen bc you know, old habits die hard, and then stealing from my kids under the guise of what I've decreed is an invalid verbal contract."
"My boyfriend doesn't shower or shave or brush his teeth or wash his sheets and just hoots and grunts at me when I try to distract him from his PS5!"
Incels are out here like well, I guess we need to admit that we're volcels after all.
I would think it plays exactly into their ideas about how things work, actually. If you wash your rear end and don’t leave your keys in a running car and you look at these guys who can’t even say that but get laid anyway it might even be easy to say that getting laid must not be about things you can control, it’s about intangible or arbitrary factors and therefore not your fault.
But I always got the impression that incels weren’t angry about girls being with guys who don’t wash their rear end right, but about… other stuff.
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Dec 8, 2023 00:41
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- edogawa rando
- Mar 20, 2007
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Not wrong to retaliate but also an rear end in a top hat imo
He's a kid, who got an insult thrown at him for no apparent reason (unless there are some significant missing details) by some kid. I'd be giving him some leniency.
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Dec 8, 2023 00:50
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- Nebrilos
- Oct 9, 2012
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I would prefer if the dude wouldn’t let the cat outside but I have the feeling they are located in England where that is much more normal
Otherwise, good story, good cat
In Europe, this is very normal.
[B]
I enjoy how the kitchen is just the dads
What does this mean?
I'm always amazed at the people who torch relationships in the name of their wedding photos.
How often do people even look at their wedding photos? Do people ever look at their wedding photos?
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Dec 8, 2023 01:09
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- ChickenOfTomorrow
- Nov 11, 2012
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god damn it, you've got to be kind
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WIBTA if I intentionally included an allergen in some food so a racist couldn't eat it?
quote:
I (21M, white) recently found out that I have to attend a Thanksgiving meal with a terrible loving person. My boyfriend "Tim" wants to go to his old roommate's/best friend's (Jacob) Thanksgiving. Jacob is great! He and Tim have been friends since they were kids, and Tim used to spend a lot of time at Jacob's house since his own home life was... not great. And Jacob's immediate family is wonderful, as well. However, Jacob's uncle "Dickwad" is racist. I went to Jacob's Thanksgiving last year and Dickwad was a dickwad. It started out okay, he and I talked about cars, but after a few beers Dickwad was very clearly racist. He also kept bragging about how he threatened a homeless man with a gun (the homeless man was trying to break into his car - it's pretty common in this area) and called him several racist derogatory terms. He never said the N-word, but it was only a matter of time, so I left quickly.
Well, Tim wants to go again this year. Everyone hates Dickwad but Jacob's parents say they can't NOT invite him since he's their brother. I say cut the bitch off, but it's not my family, and I don't want to leave Tim alone there since Dickwad has been cruel to Tim before (Tim is Asian and queer, but Dickwad thinks me and Tim are just friends and no one is about to tell him differently) and since I don't get to see Jacob that often. The rest of Jacob's family is chill and I know they would be disappointed if I didn't come.
Well, Tim recently informed me that if I'm making something to bring to Thanksgiving, Dickwad is allergic to cumin. How allergic? Not much. He'd get hives if he ate it, but he's fine being near it, touching it, etc. He just can't consume it. Everyone knows I love to cook, and I'm a drat good cook, too. So I'm planning on making something with cumin so Dickwad can't have any, because gently caress him, and gently caress his guns, too. No one else there is allergic to cumin. I figured if anyone asks, I'll tell them I didn't know/forgot. I asked Jacob what he thought and he thought it would be hilarious and told me to do it. I haven't said anything to Tim because he's a lot nicer and will probably try to stop me.
WIBTA if I put an allergen in food so a racist piece of poo poo can't eat it?
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Dec 8, 2023 01:35
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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OP defends his son by saying it's ridiculous that the boy shouldn't be allowed to eat whatever he wants "in his own father's kitchen."
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Dec 8, 2023 01:37
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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OP defends his son by saying it's ridiculous that the boy shouldn't be allowed to eat whatever he wants "in his own father's kitchen."
I think the dad meant like, that’s what makes him a member of the family and why gets to eat the family’s food, but he expressed it poorly.
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Dec 8, 2023 01:42
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- Splicer
- Oct 16, 2006
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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WIBTA if I intentionally included an allergen in some food so a racist couldn't eat it?
Splicer fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Dec 8, 2023
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Dec 8, 2023 01:50
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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AITAH for refusing to take my ex girlfriends 2 other children with me for Christmas?
quote:I (40M) have a daughter Claire (14F) with my ex Amy (39F). Amy and I broke up when Claire was born because she felt like we settled down too soon and felt shackled by our relationship and family. We have always shared 50/50 custody since.
I got married to my now wife Jane (35F) about 5 years ago. Amy went on to have 2 other kids with 2 different men who aren’t involved with the kids. So she has full custody of her 2 other kids, then 50% of Claire. Her two youngest sons are 2 and 4. Claire doesn’t love her living situation with her mum. The place is crowded and her two younger brothers are just well… toddlers. She says they don’t leave her alone and she gets no time alone there. So she prefers to stay with me more often now. She also gets along really well with my now wife and wants to spend a lot of time with her.
Claire asked me if she can spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with me and Jane. Our regular schedule was that Claire spends Christmas Eve with one of us, and Christmas Day with the other, then we switch it around the next year. I told Claire that I can’t give her an answer to that without discussing it with her mum. She asked her mum before I could discuss it with her and Amy called to tell me it’s ok and that Claire can spend both days with me because she has her hands full anyway and it would take some work off her plate.
I’m excited to have both days with Claire and so is Jane. Jane actually suggested we go somewhere since we have both days to spend with Claire. So we planned a trip to a beach resort in another city. I called Amy to let her know and she said it’s fine, but she called me back two days later asking if there’s any chance I can cancel the beach trip and do something in our city, and also include her sons so that she can go and see her family this Christmas. She said her sons don’t have passports so she can’t take them to another country with her to visit her family, but this is the only time she has to visit her family because she always has to work.
I said I barely know her kids, so it’s going to be strange to just take them in and take care of them for however many days she’s gone. I want to just relax with my wife and Claire, and taking care of two toddlers that I don’t even personally know is not my idea of a good Christmas. That’s so much pressure and I haven’t taken care of a toddler in about a decade. I also already told Claire about the beach trip and she was so excited, so simply staying home isn’t an option if it’s not an emergency. I don’t imagine she’ll be too happy to have her brothers come along when she complains about being at her mums house because of them either.
I told Amy the reasons above (except that Claire doesn’t like being around her brothers) and she said I’m doing this to punish her for leaving me, and that I could easily take care of her sons but I’m being spiteful. I told her to stop being ridiculous. We broke up 14 years ago and I’ve found the love of my life after that, there’s no reason on earth for me to be spiteful. I said I really am sorry to decline her request but I’d rather just be with my immediate family this Christmas. She said she didn’t think I was the type to alienate children out of spite and she’s disappointed in the man I’ve become.
This is the first time since our break up that we had an argument or anything even close to it. She usually isn’t like this so while I think it’s unreasonable of her to expect me to take care of her two sons while she’s gone, I’m kind of worried I damaged our coparenting relationship.
I mean you are taking the babysitter so who is gonna watch the kids!
AITAH for wanting my husband to wipe his rear end in a top hat?
quote:It recently came to my attention that my husband no longer washes his hands after making GBS threads.
I asked him why, and he said “I don’t need to since I don’t wipe.”
We don’t have a bidet, so I asked why he’s abandoned wiping. He said he’s adopted “primal wiping” — i.e. he shits in a way where there’s nothing to wipe.
I said “then let me check”. I wiped him and there was in fact poo poo on the toilet paper.
I told him no more head until he starts wiping and washing his hands, or he can install a bidet.
But he’s claiming he’s evolved beyond wiping and that I’m being unreasonable.
AITAH?
UPDATE 1: I brought this up to him again and he said all geniuses are mocked before their ideas are accepted, and that he’s going to change the world and start a revolution for men by making GBS threads in his “deep lion pose”
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Dec 8, 2023 01:51
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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AITAH for wanting my husband to wipe his rear end in a top hat?
Now hold on… let’s hear him out first
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Dec 8, 2023 01:57
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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Most lions poo poo in areas to mark territory. I don't know if their pose is anything but "lift tail."
AITA for asking my fiancée to buy a new dress for our wedding that doesn’t include her dead husband’s memory?
quote:TLDR AT END
I (39M) recently got engaged to my fiancé “Anna” (40F). We haven’t set an exact date for the wedding since we’re still browsing venues. We’re hoping to have it sometime next summer (or fall at the very latest).
Anna is a widow and has one daughter “Cara” (21F) from her deceased husband. They were high school sweethearts that got pregnant straight after graduation. He died 10 years ago in a car crash. Cara of course misses him a lot and I’ve done nothing to try and replace him. We aren’t particularly close, but we get along nicely and just that’s fine with me.
The rest of her family acts kind of weird around me. Her parents were best friends with her dead husband’s parents so they’d known each other since preschool. Her whole family loved him a lot. It’s not like they hate me or anything, but they just really miss him. Every time I see them at a family event I can definitely count on at least one or two people bringing up some memory of her deceased husband. Then the whole family talks, laughs, and sometimes even cries over the memories.
Of course I know he was a huge part of their lives so I can’t expect them to just forget him, but it does get sort of awkward when they almost forget that I’m even there. We’re gradually getting closer but they still keep me at arms length. Any progress is good I suppose. I know every time they look at me, the only thing they can think about is her husband who they miss so much.
Now, my family has a little tradition with a wedding dress. My mom (who only has 4 boys) pays for her new daughter-in-law’s dress to welcome them. When j brought this up to Anna she just said she’ll wear her old wedding dress since it’s in good condition and still fits.
This isn’t a money issue- we could easily afford a new dress in the wedding budget even without my mom. Anna simply said she just doesn’t like the idea of stressing out over a new dress when we have so much more planning to do. It makes me a bit uncomfortable. Her first wedding dress is very sentimental. Since she had her daughter so young they were too busy and broke to get married until she was around 25 years old.
Cara’s dad asked her to sit down with her mom and help color a picture of her absolute dream dress. Anna just thought they were going to a store to pick the closest match, but her husband actually had his grandma (who actually passed a month after the wedding) sew the exact design because she was a very good seamstress. Anna looks so happy in the wedding pictures of that dress and obviously Cara treasures it as well since she saw the design in person at the first wedding.
Obviously the dress is a beautiful design and memento to his memory, but it still makes me a bit uncomfortable. I know every person who sees the dress will only think of her first wedding the entire time. I’m sure her husband was a fantastic guy and she has the right to mourn him, but I want the wedding to focus on our upcoming life together, not only her painful past. I really want this event to be speak for only us as a couple and our own love. Of course I understand she’ll always love her daughter’s father, but I want to enjoy time with the guests without them staring and thinking of her first wedding the whole time.
Plus, I’m pretty sure Cara won’t exactly be thrilled to see her mom wearing the same dress that was such a special memory (between her and her dad) to marry another man.
It almost feels sort of creepy and disrespectful to wear the dress her dead husband and his grandmother went through so much trouble to make. I would bet neither of them pictured her wearing it to marry some other guy who doesn’t even know them. I feel like it’s a bit disrespectful to their memory.
When I told her all of this she seemed flippant and said I was thinking too much and that it wasn’t a big deal. When I requested maybe even getting just a cheaper plain white gown or not using my mom’s offer she shot me down. She said I was just being jealous and irrotational. She seems a bit upset at me now.
Some of my friends and my parents say I should’ve just dropped it when she said no the first time. They say my words made me seem a bit egotistical and petty. I love Anna a lot and I don’t like the idea of making her think I don’t fully trust her. Was I just being petty and should apologize? AITA?
TLDR: marrying my fiancée soon and she wants to wear the dress she had in her original wedding, that makes me uncomfortable because of all the sentimental value with her deceased husband, I want a dress just for us, not his entire family’s memories. She said I’m begging paranoid and pushy, I’m wondering if I was too uptight
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Dec 8, 2023 02:00
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- Donkringel
- Apr 22, 2008
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AITAH for wanting my husband to wipe his rear end in a top hat?
This has got to be bait or fanfiction. If it isn't, lower him rear end first into a vat of acid.
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Dec 8, 2023 02:01
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- Pirate Radar
- Apr 18, 2008
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You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
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Posted mostly for the novel approach to giving children pseudonyms.
Bigamy lies, inheritance and a rich manchild in the middle
quote:—-edited to add more details—-
So this questions cannot get any stranger but here goes:
A father passed away and while being married multiple times (6) (maybe more who knows) has been discovered to be still married to wife no. 4 and while wife no.6 disputes the chronology of who he married was suspected to be in full knowledge of wife no.4 being current and not divorced.
The father married different nationals: wife 1 and 2 are American, wife 3 British, wife 4 Philippine, wife 5 and six are Russian.
The father contracted a terminal illness and has been dying for years while secretly treating it without anyone’s knowledge. We suspect wife 6 discovered this at some point and threatened to leave and abandon him without any care unless she had financial protection.
The father was a dual Russian and American national with permanent residency in the UK
The working assumption is wife 5 complained when she found out about the bigamy. She and her child have been cut off since he walked out on them under 3 years into the Union.
It’s muddy because children where produced from no.4,5,6 and their ages leave more questions than answers. Wife no.6 had a kid from previous marriages and a kid with the father in question. Both born with Russian citizenship. The older kid (let’s call him kid 6.1) has been the lucky recipient of some forged birth documents to adjust his age and paternal lineage in what the children of the father in question suppose was the trade off of keeping marriage no.4 going. The father enjoyed trips to wife no 4 and produced two children, that contradict the chronology as I mentioned earlier, which make everything difficult for anyone to follow because wife no.6 is suspected to be lying about everything. The second child to no.6 (6.2 let say) is presumed biological to the marriage with the father but can’t be sure given the general deception in the marriage.
6.1 while initially a child at the time of there mothers marriage is an adult but has potentially been aware of his dubious circumstance regarding forged birth certificate and fathers bigamy and is suspected to be complicit in other financial frauds committed by the father. So motivated to keep quiet for more than financial gain.
Wife no6 is Russian. We suspect the marriage occurred in Russia but she is very cagey about answering specifics because no one in this enlarged family believes anything she says on the count of child 6.1 birth certificate issues coming to light. Children from wife 3 are British by birth, England residents who’s primary residence is England. The father possesses considerable assets inherited from his family, but has effectively cut all but children from wife 6 off. Though is still in contact with all as they did not want anything from him.
The father has exhibited many odd behaviours over recent years liquidating hard assets of the estate and behaving erratically travelling to the wives meeting children etc.. he had made multiple promises to include children from all marriages, except one he violently denies, in the family trust and provide financial assets to different individuals that it seems he has not fulfilled. It’s also come to light that he liquidated some of the older children’s individual assets given to them by their grandfather at different points in time.
The children from wife 6 have both obtained uk citizenship through their brother and continued residence in the uk. Wife 6 also obtained citizenship though her children subsequently. They were both born in Russia but had been domicile in the uk for over 20 years.
While the father had multiple international residences and assets his primary is in England. And he is not a UK citizen rather a permanent resident. Also his will is suspected to be differing to sharia law. Because why the heck not.
Would legal complaints to challenge the will on the grounds that she is complicit in the bigamy creat issues with the children of wife 6’s uk citizenship?
Would they (family 6) lose their status or Inheritance rights?
Would the crown file charges against wife 6 as an accomplice to the bigamy charge given the father in question is dead?
Would any property placed in thier name during the last several years, when we suspect the father was diagnosis with his terminal illness, be challenged considering his erratic mental state?
Would there be an avenue to fulfil his unfulfilled promises to add missing legal children to the trust?
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Dec 8, 2023 02:06
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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swinging from a vine, primal making GBS threads on some foes. like how my ancestors diarrhead
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Dec 8, 2023 02:10
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- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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Lifehack: leave your car running to save the 2 seconds it takes to start! Why doesn't everyone do this? THEY don't want you to know about it.
Well say you earn $25.00/hr, those two seconds are worth $0.013 of your time. Now say a replacement car costs $25,000 then you'll only need to leave it running 1,800,000 times between being stolen in order for it to pay for itself! It's not thinking like that that's going to keep you poor!
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Dec 8, 2023 02:14
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- snergle
- Aug 3, 2013
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A kind little mouse!
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Whenever someone who's a complete novice brings up the 'I could totally beat a world tennis pro at one round, surely', I'd suggest they try to take one round/stock/whatever off a fighting game expert and see how far that gets them.
Fortunately I've never had to do this because I don't know any idiots of that particular flavour.
most fgc games dont allow like 2v1 but smash does and ive watched 3 noobs vs 1 pro videos of it and its hilarious seeing a dude just loving up 3 people of vastly lower skill they usually kill him once but he killed all of them 3 times
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Dec 8, 2023 02:21
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- carrionman
- Oct 30, 2010
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Primal wiping is a phrase, alongside freebleeding, that I'm 90% sure is made up bullshit.
But that 10% of doubt causes me more psychological damage than I'm happy with
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Dec 8, 2023 02:21
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 15:05
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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My brother proposed to my fiancée (his ex) and I’m pissed
quote:
My (28M) brother, Mark (26M), used to date my fiancée, Jenn (26F) a year ago. For context, they dated back in August 2022. They were only together for a month before he broke things off with her because he was bored of being in a relationship and never really wanted to settle down anyway. At the time they were dating I was in a different state so I had no idea he even had a girlfriend and I had no idea who Jenn was until I met her.
Jenn and I met at a bar when I moved back in October and hit it off really well. She was easily the most beautiful and intelligent woman I ever met and we met up a few times more before we made it official. Fast forward to December and I finally bring her up to my family and propose them meeting her at Christmas. They knew I was in a relationship but I’m not the most open about my personal life so I kept details about her to a minimum until I knew how serious we really were.
My parents asked to see pictures and they started passing my phone around the dinner table. Mark saw it and blew up calling me a poo poo brother for dating his ex girlfriend and he demanded I break it off with her. I refused. When I asked Jenn about it, she confirmed they dated and gave me the details about their breakup. It took a few weeks but eventually Mark stopped bringing up me dating his ex and I thought he was over it. On Jenn’s birthday this year, I took her out to a fancy dinner with both of our families and her closest friends and I asked her to marry me. Mark flipped once again and blew up about me proposing to her, which I and my sisters immediately shut down.
The incident happened this past weekend. Mark had been pretty quiet about the whole thing for the last two months. I didn’t see him much and figured he went Low contact with me which I had no problem with, then he invited me and Jenn for family dinner at his apartment with my parents and sisters. I thought it was weird but my parents and sisters were also going so we agreed to go. The dinner was nice, nothing too fancy, and we moved to the living room to talk. About 30 minutes into normal conversation Mark stood up and told us he had an announcement. He made a long speech about being happy to have his family around for his big moment then got on one knee and pulled out this cheap ring while asking Jenn to marry him. Jenn was confused and obviously uncomfortable and demanded that he put it away and stand up. My dad tried to make a grab for Mark but I got to him first and punched him. I won’t repeat most of it, mostly because I was too angry to even listen most of it, but he said something along the lines of wanting to show me that Jenn wasn’t really into me and just wanted to get back at him.
Before it could get worse my parents rushed me out and promised to talk to him. It’s been a few days since it happened and I’m still pissed off. I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m scared Jenn might have second thoughts marrying me because of this. Any advice?
EDIT: (Same Post, later that day)
First, thanks for reading and responding. I’ve been reading the comments between last night and this morning and valid points were made. There isn’t an update since the only people I’ve spoken to since that dinner is jenn and my little sister. I want to clarify a few things that i saw in the comments
Jenn and I are newly engaged. It was one of those feelings where we both knew we were in it for the long run. As fast as it is, i’m sure about her.
When we met, I was the one who approached her, not the other way around. Whether she knew or had suspicions of us being related I don’t know. I asked after finding out they dated and she says she had no idea. I didn’t have a reason to doubt that, but I can admit this (seemingly) overreaction on Marks part does raise red flags
I had no idea she and Mark dated when I met her. Mark and I aren’t close at all. We used to be but as we grew up we drifted and talked less and less. Before I moved back, we didn’t really speak much aside from special days like his or my birthday. Jenn knew of my family but not much until I decided I was ready to introduce them to her. When she and Mark met (again) I didn’t get a sense of any residual feelings on either part. She didn’t treat him like a stranger but she also wasn’t overly affectionate with him either
I was told this was a relationship that lasted a month. I didn’t think I needed permission from Mark to ask her to marry me, but maybe that was wrong of me. I’m not sure
That being said, I plan to talk to Mark this weekend to lay everything out on the table and figure out what’s up. I never asked for his side of their relationship, which is my fault for not doing my due diligence. If anything major or enlightening happens, I’ll update. But for now that’s all I have.
UPDATE
quote:First I want to thank everyone for reading. It’s been a busy weekend so I haven’t had the chance to reply to many people, but I did edit in responses to the most common questions I saw in the comments of the original post. Again, thank you. I appreciate it all, even the criticisms.
Now for the update: I called Mark and asked him to meet up with me at my place to talk. I told him I would prefer Jenn to be around for the talk as well, but I was cool with it if he didn’t want her there. He agreed to talk to both of us and showed up at my place around noon today.
It was pretty quiet for a few minutes before I started the conversation. I apologized for not warning him I would be proposing to Jenn, and I apologized for hitting him. He said it was “whatever” but he appreciated the apology. I told him what Jenn had said about the relationship and breakup when I asked her about it and I asked him to confirm if it was true. I pretty much said that his reaction throughout the is whole thing has been extreme and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t misunderstanding their relationship or downplaying how serious they were.
He confirmed that they only dated for “a few weeks” and he broke up with her because he lost interest. Jenn asked if he was acting like this because he still had feelings or regrets about ending things with her. He said he could admit he thought she was more attractive than when he last saw her, but there weren’t any feelings or regrets.
He said he just didn’t like seeing a girl he dated, even if it was short term, with his older brother and as a man I shouldn’t have violated him by pursuing things with his ex. I reminded him that I had no idea they dated so it wasn’t like I consciously did this knowing their history together. He shrugged me off and said it didn’t matter, I still should have broken it off. He was adamant that if the roles were reversed he would have done the same thing which I doubt.
I asked him why he proposed to her if he didn’t have any lingering feelings. Basically, to sum it up, he was talking about it to one of his buddies who was around when Mark and Jenn dated and the guy put the idea in his head that maybe Jenn knew from the start that we were related and was doing this to get back at him considering Jenn had been hung up on him after they ended. He and his friend thought it would be a good idea to test it and see if they were right, so he came up with the idea to propose and see if she dumped me for him.
Jenn asked him to elaborate on why he thought she was hung up on him and he told her that he heard she was asking about him following the breakup and still hanging out at the places they used to go to so it was a valid assumption. Then for her to pop up randomly with his brother affirmed his suspicions. Jenn told him she’d only asked about him once following the breakup and she’d been hanging out at those places with friends before they started dating and she wouldn’t avoid them because of a breakup. She also told him she was offended at the idea that she would go as low as to pursue me, just to get back at him. He shrugged and gave her a half assed apology but said she had to see it from his point of view.
He asked her if she really didn’t know and she told him that she didn’t see the resemblance in us until we were in the same room and we act nothing alike so it never crossed her mind and he said okay. That pretty much wrapped up the conversation. He did tell me before he left that I could take back his invite to the wedding because he can’t bring himself to support our relationship knowing he used to date her. I told him he didn’t have to worry about that as he was most likely going to be uninvited anyway.
It’s been a few hours since our talk and I do feel better. My parents aren’t too happy about him being uninvited but they understood that it was a mutual decision and probably for the best. My sisters told me they knew he didn’t have a good reason for being an rear end in a top hat and they don’t blame me for not wanting him at the wedding. As of now, I’m going to limit contact with Mark and I doubt he’ll reach out to me any time soon either.
Once again, I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting and if anything significant happens, I’ll update again.
narration: you do not, in fact, have to see it from his point of view.
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Dec 8, 2023 02:28
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Dec 7, 2023 22:52
