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AITA for telling my husband I'm not making him a chore list?quote:I love my husband dearly, we rarely fight at all if ever. The only thing we butt heads on is home maintenance. We have two non-verbal autistic children and both of them attend multiple therapies everyday. I have occupational, speech and feeding therapists in and out of my home Monday-Friday. When he came home from deployment I was relieved that I would finally have an extra hand to help pick up around the house but he avoids the mess. He says if I want him to do something to just make a list and he'll do it... okay, here's your list:
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Dec 12, 2023 00:25
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| # ? May 29, 2024 22:17 |
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AITA for not changing the Christmas menu?quote:My daughter (5) is both autistic and has AFRID. We have her in several therapies, including feeding therapy. For the time being, however, there’s very little she’ll eat. Per the the therapist’s recommendations, we always give her her safe foods, while encouraging her to try new ones. Her main safe foods are grilled cheese, butter noodles and nuggets. There are other snack type things she’ll eat, but that’s it in terms of meals.
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Dec 12, 2023 00:35
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Foo Diddley posted:AITA for telling my husband I'm not making him a chore list? I dunno, "if you see the chore, do the chore" was a lovely system when the one husband proposed it back in the other post and I'm not sure it's really improved here just because the wife is suggesting it.
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Dec 12, 2023 00:48
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Arsenic Lupin posted:AITA for not changing the Christmas menu? brother should look up the word 'orthorexia'
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Dec 12, 2023 01:04
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Foo Diddley posted:AITA for telling my husband I'm not making him a chore list? It sounds like they’ve been married for long enough that she should be able to tell if he’s being a jerk here or if “make a list and do the things on the list” is actually the strategy that works for him and his brain. And obviously if it’s the latter they should coordinate about what’s on the list or else she’s going to feel like she’s out of the loop. Coca Koala posted:I dunno, "if you see the chore, do the chore" was a lovely system when the one husband proposed it back in the other post and I'm not sure it's really improved here just because the wife is suggesting it. Exactly, people pointed out how “Just Do It” doesn’t work as a chore system, or at least, not for everyone.
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Dec 12, 2023 01:04
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Arsenic Lupin posted:AITA for not changing the Christmas menu? "I don't want a fight this Christmas," says man picking a fight over Christmas
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Dec 12, 2023 01:13
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Pirate Radar posted:It sounds like they’ve been married for long enough that she should be able to tell if he’s being a jerk here or if “make a list and do the things on the list” is actually the strategy that works for him and his brain. And obviously if it’s the latter they should coordinate about what’s on the list or else she’s going to feel like she’s out of the loop. Iirc, Part of the reason it didn't work was because the husband would see something, like the trash was full, and then come to complain to her about why the thing wasn't done. So instead of If you see it, Do it, it was If you see it, Whine about why it wasn't already done by somebody else. That's not a problem with the process, it's a problem with the person.
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Dec 12, 2023 01:50
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AITA for wanting to go to a country just for the women?quote:The conflict here is that my friend is mad at me and it might affect our friendship. redditor: quote:YTA
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Dec 12, 2023 01:58
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for wanting to go to a country just for the women? It's hilarious how we can all guess the country without reading the text
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Dec 12, 2023 02:12
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OP: NO FAT AMERICAN CHICKS also OP: quote:I live in the south. Every woman is fat here, including myself but I’m working on it i'm sure those fit japanese hotties will be all over you, my dude
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Dec 12, 2023 02:16
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I'm 5'7", and I've fluctuated between 100 and 200 pounds as an adult. At 140lbs I wore size small, with some medium depending on the brand. That guy is mental. Edit: "non-fat Asian chicks" they're not food, you worthless stinkbug SulfurMonoxideCute fucked around with this message at 02:21 on Dec 12, 2023 |
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Dec 12, 2023 02:18
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PancakeTransmission posted:It's hilarious how we can all guess the country without reading the text Eh, I had it pegged as Thailand before reading. But I'm sure we were all on the same continent.
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Dec 12, 2023 02:20
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The Maroon Hawk posted:I was on the fence about this until I unspoilered the weights. gently caress alllllll the way off, dude For me it was the "I usually order for her because she can't be trusted to make the right choices." Indeed. All the way off is how this dude should gently caress.
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Dec 12, 2023 02:22
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Foo Diddley posted:AITA for telling my husband I'm not making him a chore list? "Just do it" is an advertising slogan, not an effective form of household management. Relationships are based on two way communication and working together to achieve a goal. I rely on lists to get the housework done, and I do most of it. I also couldn't do that if my partner didn't communicate with me about what she feels is a priority. "just do it" is unsuitable for us because left to my own devices the trash would be overflowing and the kitchen/living spaces would be spotless because I prioritise having functional spaces over bins (which can always be taken out when you have a moment later... or tomorrow...), my partner would like to not have overflowing bins so she adds that to my list if necessary. Without a master list then little things which just aren't part of my everyday (my kid's laundry, because it's in there rooms and I don't see it, for example) will overflow and become a problem that needs solving rather than a job that needs doing. Relying on "just do it" means the only chores that get done are the ones that you interact directly with, not necessarily what actually needs doing. If your partner asks you to do more then asking for clarification is a good thing, even if only because you're far less likely to get in the way if you know what's going on and where to start. Refusing to elucidate further on what you need when you make a request is just being difficult, and very unlikely to get you far. Pirate Radar posted:It sounds like they’ve been married for long enough that she should be able to tell if he’s being a jerk here or if “make a list and do the things on the list” is actually the strategy that works for him and his brain. And obviously if it’s the latter they should coordinate about what’s on the list or else she’s going to feel like she’s out of the loop. He probably (definitely?maybe) is being a jerk about it. Stepping up to take part of the load and not sulking and making things difficult is also an important part of a relationship. That doesn't mean that he's suited well to working without a list, or that he knows where to start making a list to begin with. Or that he's any better than she is about communicating his needs and working with his partner. I doubt being on deployment would have helped either, by nature I would have thought that it'd have to be a regimented environment, with very clear instructions for 90% of the poo poo he would be expected to do on the daily and limited information flow, which probably isn't all that conducive to being across all facets of managing a complicated household environment.
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Dec 12, 2023 02:24
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Foo Diddley posted:i win, reddit! you were all wrong and she'll never order a cheeseburger again The poor woman is starving. I hope she sneaks a cheeseburger every drat day just to spite him
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Dec 12, 2023 02:32
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BrigadierSensible posted:For me it was the "I usually order for her because she can't be trusted to make the right choices." Yeah, on my first reading I read quote:Usually when we go out to eat, I order for her because she knows she might not have the discipline to make the right choices. as the wife at least having some agreement in this arrangement, but on second thought, I'm probably giving the narrator way too much credit on that
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Dec 12, 2023 02:32
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Cowslips Warren posted:
This guy sounds remarkably similar to the guy who didn't want to take his girlfriend out to eat since she was a really good cook and he wanted to save money by always eating at home.
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Dec 12, 2023 02:45
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Smirking_Serpent posted:r/relationships: He didn’t want to leave his coat–because there were additional magic tricks secreted inside I've said it before, but I really get it when the woman in Gravity Falls says that her date's anime dating sim ex-girlfriend breaking out of the computer and turning Chuck E Cheese full Five Night's At Freddy's was not the worst date that she ever had, because 'Never date a magician'. Foo Diddley posted:AITA for telling my husband I'm not making him a chore list? If both their kids are autistic there's a good chance at least one of them is too. Autistic people tend to be extremely literal by default and even while very well aware it's a thing, simply don't get inference and go through life frustrated and amazed at what people expect them to 'assume'.
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Dec 12, 2023 03:00
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Ghost Leviathan posted:
Yep, we do. Further to that if we've been taught that you can just expect people to know everything you're assuming (ie. that allistic behaviour is the default baseline, and that large amounts of info are conveyed purely by inference) then we're even more amazed that people just don't get what we expect they can just "assume". After all, if we're expected to do just "assume" this or that, why wouldn't we expect that so and so can just "assume" the other thing that we're trying to infer. Really bad habit, continuously backfires for obvious reasons.
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Dec 12, 2023 03:11
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I've said it before, but I really get it when the woman in Gravity Falls says that her date's anime dating sim ex-girlfriend breaking out of the computer and turning Chuck E Cheese full Five Night's At Freddy's was not the worst date that she ever had, because 'Never date a magician'. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAH9_HUACQ8
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Dec 12, 2023 03:22
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bend posted:He probably (definitely?maybe) is being a jerk about it. Stepping up to take part of the load and not sulking and making things difficult is also an important part of a relationship. Right, I think we’re mostly agreeing. I just think a knee-jerk negative reaction to wanting a list to follow is unwarranted. Operating off a list isn’t inherently worse in some way.
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Dec 12, 2023 03:26
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Honestly I would like a list of chores, would be much easier to see what I need to do every few days rather than every day. I mean assuming there are kids in the mix, it would work a lot better for poo poo like laundry organization. Assuming the person in question does poo poo like laundry.
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Dec 12, 2023 04:04
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I'm so ADHD I don't even do my own chores unless I have my extremely visible and colourful chore list, and I'm the primary chore-doer.
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Dec 12, 2023 04:08
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SulfurMonoxideCute posted:I'm so ADHD I don't even do my own chores unless I have my extremely visible and colourful chore list, and I'm the primary chore-doer. If you stay at someone else's house do you do their chores when they go to bed and you can't sleep?
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Dec 12, 2023 04:13
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Cowslips Warren posted:Honestly I would like a list of chores, would be much easier to see what I need to do every few days rather than every day. I mean assuming there are kids in the mix, it would work a lot better for poo poo like laundry organization. Not always a good assumption, unfortunately. Master list of things to check (organise it by room/space) on is a key to a chore list, in my opinion at least. Lets you just run down the list in a quick look and generate a workable order of what you actually need to do. Don't forget to add frequencies (every month or whenever, not when it's (or you're) vibrating at 45 KHz LOL) for stuff that isn't a daily priority, if you don't then you'll end up cleaning under the furniture when the bins need emptying LOL.
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Dec 12, 2023 04:17
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Foo Diddley posted:OP: NO FAT AMERICAN CHICKS Pretty sure OP isn't a dude.
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Dec 12, 2023 04:17
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Nebrilos posted:Pretty sure OP isn't a dude. The post itself says 20M
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Dec 12, 2023 04:19
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Adhd chore-chat: I frigging adore the Tody app. I use the free version, and it has lists of recommended chores and cadences, broken down by room, and you can also add or edit as suits your home. It's color-coded to show your dumbass how far behind on cleaning you are, and is satisfactorily gamified.
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Dec 12, 2023 04:26
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:With those the trick is to give the machine a good hip check as the coins are being pushed. At some point they started adding sensors to counter this so you had to be more careful when nudging them. The way to do arcades that give out cheap toys was to make friends with the maintenance guys' kids. Those lil bastards just have whole rear end rolls of tickets. But that's more of a skeeball lifehack, I've never seen the coin pusher machines outside of truckstops. shame on an IGA fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Dec 12, 2023 |
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Dec 12, 2023 04:31
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actually, "kiss building maintenance's asses" is solid life advice in the adult world as well. Best boss I ever had got my raise pushed through by taking HR's thermostat hostage.
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Dec 12, 2023 04:38
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Pirate Radar posted:Right, I think we’re mostly agreeing. I just think a knee-jerk negative reaction to wanting a list to follow is unwarranted. Operating off a list isn’t inherently worse in some way. I think it's the difference between "you need to make me a list" and "I want to make myself a list, can you help"
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Dec 12, 2023 04:55
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Desert Bus posted:If you stay at someone else's house do you do their chores when they go to bed and you can't sleep? They don't even have to be in bed, but something that stops me is "what if this is organized chaos and if I move something, they'll never find it because they currently know exactly where it is?"
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Dec 12, 2023 04:57
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Can I legally do anything about my son resisting arrest? quote:Recently, my son (13M) has been skipping school and being disrespectful to teachers. As a punishment, I decided to put him under house arrest and I made a signed legal document saying that he can not leave the house within 7 days. Yesterday, on the third day of the 7-day period, he decided to leave the house. Is there any way for me to get law enforcement to enforce his house arrest? Will I have to hire a lawyer and make this go through court first? Hello, police? I'd like to report my son for being a teenager
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Dec 12, 2023 05:11
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Legal document lmao
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Dec 12, 2023 05:17
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Pirate Radar posted:It sounds like they’ve been married for long enough that she should be able to tell if he’s being a jerk here or if “make a list and do the things on the list” is actually the strategy that works for him and his brain. And obviously if it’s the latter they should coordinate about what’s on the list or else she’s going to feel like she’s out of the loop. He's in the military, don't they love checklists there? They can pretend she's his CO.
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Dec 12, 2023 05:20
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That contract doesn't have any consideration and is therefore void, unless it's in a jurisdiction where deed polls are binding.
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Dec 12, 2023 05:21
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SulfurMonoxideCute posted:They don't even have to be in bed, but something that stops me is "what if this is organized chaos and if I move something, they'll never find it because they currently know exactly where it is?" You wait until they go to sleep and then you use your magical powers of insomnia and autism to to hang out in their kitchen in the dark in the deep morning and do all the dishes and re-arrange all of everything, The only thing you 100% leave in the same spot is the coffee stuff. Once they've had their coffee they will happily thank you for completely rearranging their terrible terrible mess.
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Dec 12, 2023 05:54
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Dr. Stab posted:That contract doesn't have any consideration and is therefore void, unless it's in a jurisdiction where deed polls are binding. Also a minor child can't enter into a contract, and while a parent or guardian can act on the child's behalf, they can't sign both sides of the contract without a conflict of interest. Plus contract violation would fall under tort law, not criminal, so good luck getting the cops to do anything anyway. Though I would like to witness that complaint. "Hello police? My teenager doesn't respect me even though I am pants-on-head stupid!"
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Dec 12, 2023 07:03
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Solenna posted:I think it's the difference between "you need to make me a list" and "I want to make myself a list, can you help" This is the really important thing for sure. I’m sure for a lot of the people in Reddit stories like this, getting that list from their spouse would be a one time activity and the following weekend they’d be complaining that there’s another list. What the op needs in that story is for the husband to help with the overall burden, which includes list making.
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Dec 12, 2023 07:05
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Solenna posted:I think it's the difference between "you need to make me a list" and "I want to make myself a list, can you help" I'm going through this with my mother. I want to be available to help with stuff but she doesn't understand that I hate being treated like a prop and there's a big difference between "can you do this for me" and "you can do this for me".
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Dec 12, 2023 07:29
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