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Dwight leaves a partially-solved Rubik's cube on his desk at work. Jim steals the cube and secretes it away. Dwight wonders where the cube went but eventually gives it up for lost and forgets all about it. Decades later, when Dwight passes away peacefully in his bed after a lifetime of good works, his soul is unable to enter Heaven because of the unfinished business with the cube. He is bound to walk the shadowlands between life and death for all eternity. Wherever Dwight's ghost wanders, Jim's ghost is nearby, mugging at him.
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Dec 17, 2023 23:01
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| # ? May 31, 2024 11:04 |
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Jim unlocks Dwight's front door at 3am and leads a male silverback gorilla into his house
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Dec 18, 2023 00:27
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Chips is jealous that Dwight now hangs out with a gorilla and doubles down on throwing feces at Dwight's head.
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Dec 18, 2023 11:49
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Michael Scott comes to work dressed as Psy and singing Gangnam style and talking in an offensive accent. Jim is doing the fake asian Jim prank in the same day where he has sent a friend from an Asian country (Jim doesn't know or care which) to take his place to prank Dwight. Dwight asks if he finds what Michael is doing offensive and the guy said "Why would I? I'm Jim, a white guy! All I care about is pickup trucks and America! Football!" and he begins beating the poo poo out of Michael.
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Dec 18, 2023 14:29
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Jim and Dwight are driving home from a sales meeting when Dwight mentions he's going to pull into a rest stop for a moment so he can use the restroom. "Jesus, Dwight, we're never going to get home at this rate. Just piss in a bottle like the rest of us." Dwight mentions that he doesn't need to stop to pee. Jim makes an exaggerated "yuck!" noise and scrunches up his face, then says that Dwight may as well stop. When Dwight returns from the bathroom a few minutes later the car is gone from its parking space. Dwight calls the office and explains what's going on, so Michael comes and picks him up. Jim is never seen again.
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Dec 18, 2023 15:08
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Dwight mentions in passing that he did not find the movie The Endless half bad. Upon hearing this Jim kicks Dwight in the balls and traps himself and Dwight immediately in a 10second time loop. Jim mugs the camera for eternity while Dwight collapses in a heap of agony over and over again.
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Dec 18, 2023 15:24
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Jim refuses to l’eggo of Dwight’s Eggo waffles, depriving Dwight of a hot breakfast.
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Dec 18, 2023 15:34
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Jim takes a big swig from his flask, swishes the fluid around his mouth loudly, then holds a lit match against his lips and sprays the fluid out as a fine mist. The strawberry milk does not ignite, much to Jim's surprise and disappointment.
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Dec 18, 2023 15:59
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Jim, along with most of the rest of the office, are out for their holiday vacations. "Great," says Dwight to himself, settling down at his desk in a deserted office, "I can finally get some work done." His computer doesn't turn on, however. Going around the back, it looks like mice have chewed through the power cord. Looking at the other desks, Dwight discovers that all of them have had their cords chewed through. On closer inspection, it becomes clear that all of the computers are fake. They are boxes with monitors attached, but appear to be empty. Their buttons don't work. And what's more, it's the year 2023. Who uses cathode ray monitors on their computers anymore? Where are the flatscreens? Or laptops, for that matter? "Uh, oh. Looks like the programming is starting to wear off," Dwight hears a distinctly floppy-sounding voice say from behind the door to the annex. The annex? But, that's been closed off since- Gas suddenly starts to pour from the A/C vents. It smells like watermelon vape juice, and instantly knocks Dwight unconscious. "Let's reset it again. This time; let's target 2012, and see what his response is without the Michael Scott crutch."
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Dec 18, 2023 16:12
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Dwight mentions that he's celebrating Saturnalia this year instead of Christmas, so Jim uses his experimental gravity ray to crash the planet Saturn into Earth.
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Dec 18, 2023 16:39
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Jim learns that other countries exist with different time zones. Rushing to Michael's office, he has a revolutionary plan: Get rid of the Monday-Friday, 9-5 work schedule and have the entire staff work new schedules that will allow them sell paper 24/7 to the world. The office staff's hours are broken up into new variable shifts with no consistency that maintains a 40-hour work week for each employee, but schedules them to work odd hours. Dwight's first week on this new system has him working Sunday night from 11PM until 4AM. Then he gets to come back 4PM Monday night to work until 9PM. Tueday he's expected to work from 1AM to 6AM, then come back at Noon to work until 5PM. Then he's back Wednesday AM at 4AM and works until 9AM and then comes back at 9PM and work until 2AM. Thursday he is expected to come in at 10AM and work until 3PM. Friday he's scheduled for a 3 hour shift from 8PM to 11PM. Finally, Saturday he's scheduled from 11AM to 1PM. The scheduling allows them to deny breaks and officially work Dwight seven days a week since he'd have at least one uninterrupted 24 hour window of time off.
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Dec 18, 2023 18:29
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Jim kills all the pandas remaining in the wild
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Dec 18, 2023 18:33
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Jim travels to China with Dwight and shoves Dwight into a cursed pond. Now, whenever Dwight becomes wet with cold water he becomes a giant panda. Jim then jumps into a pool that turns him into a girl. "Get it Dwight! We get to do Prankma 1/2 as a gimmick!" Dwight holds up a series of signs to display his dismay with the direction of this prank and saying that everyone back home will think this is a Kung-Fu Panda gimmick.
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Dec 18, 2023 18:48
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I see no downsides here for Dwight. Are we sure that this is a prank?
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Dec 18, 2023 19:21
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Jim and Dwight attend a meeting at the corporate headquarters in New York. The meeting lets out extremely early, leaving both the salesmen with plenty of time to kill in New York before heading home. "Well, we need to go see the World Trade Center, Dwight. I mean, for obvious reasons." Dwight agrees to this but Jim stands there, silently, once they arrival at the 9/11 memorial there. After 45 minutes, Dwight asks if Jim's ready to go. "I don't know, Dwight, do you THINK I'm ready to go? Do you think you've spent enough time thinking about the events of that September morning?" Dwight shifts awkwardly for the next 4 hours until it's time to head home. As they drive past the Lego store, Dwight looks forlornly out the window.
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Dec 18, 2023 19:22
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That's rich, seeing as Jim was responsible for the attacks in most realities.
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Dec 18, 2023 19:24
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Nigmaetcetera posted:That's rich, seeing as Jim was responsible for the attacks in most realities. Jim also does multihour commemorations for World War I, World War II and the Civil War. That's rich, seeing as Jim assassinated Franz Ferdinand, threw Adolf out of painting school and invented the concept of slavery.
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Dec 18, 2023 19:30
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Jim asks Dwight if they can swing by the nativity scene near City Hall. That's rich, seeing as Jim traveled back in time and acted as Pontius Pilate (and also Barabbas as well).
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Dec 18, 2023 19:36
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After watching Terminator Genesys, Jim invents time travel and sends himself back to Serajevo, Austria on June 28th, 1914, in an attempt to kill Dwight's relatives. When he arrives naked, he assaults the first man he sees and says "Your red tennis shoes, give them to me." The man asks if Jim wants any other clothes but Jim politely declines. Jim quickly realizes he has no idea what Dwight's relatives look like. He sees some dork in a motorcade wearing a funny hat, and decides "whatever, good enough"
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Dec 18, 2023 20:40
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After watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Jim hides under Dwight's bed with a flashlight, terrified that the terminators are going to come out of the TV and get him (Jim). Dwight and Angela have to forego a night of tender, yet passionate lovemaking in order to coax Jim out from under the bed and explain to him how the scary things Jim saw were just special effects.
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Dec 18, 2023 20:57
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Jim claims he is the sole living being in the universe and should he die all of existence will blink out into nothingness as his imagination is the canvas for what everyone considers reality. Dwight attempts to disprove Jim's idiocy, but every math proof Dwight attempts turns into a drawing of Jim mugging at him. Jim spends days getting into cartoonish situations that will likely kill him that Dwight is forced to intervene in to keep 'reality' going. Dwight wonders if he even has free will or if his behavior and thoughts are being scripted by Jim.
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Dec 18, 2023 22:28
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Jim takes a bite of the red velvet cheesecake that Dwight made for the office potluck. “That’s rich,” Jim says, “that’s the richest chocolate I’ve ever had. How’d you do it, Dwight?” Dwight explains that, due to the horrific working conditions of most people involved in the production of chocolate, he instead used carefully seasoned beets. It’s the same amount of flavor without having to exploit anyone. “Oh,” Jim replies with a frown, “I guess it’s not that good after all. Has kind of a weird aftertaste, now that I think about it. Blech. I need some real chocolate to wash this stuff down.” Jim then shoves a fistful of Hershey kisses, wrappers and all, into his mouth. When Dwight and Angela head to the car to drive home after work Jim is standing there, vomiting on the hood. “Jesus, that beet cheesecake, holy poo poo it’s just tearing through me. Oh my God. Holy gently caress. I’ve never been sick like this. Blech!” “Jim,” Angela practically screams, “it’s not made out of beets, you loving moron. We forgot about the pot luck until last night, Dwight just picked it up at Sam’s Club for God’s sake. He felt so bad about it he made up that story about the beets.” “Huh. Never mind then.” Jim wipes his mouth off and walks away. Dwight feels awful for the deception.
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Dec 19, 2023 00:15
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You're a mean one, Jim Halpert. You really are a creep, You're as skinny as a beanpole, you're as floppy as an eel, Jim Halpert, You started a stupid company called Athleap! You're a monster, Jim Halpert. You're a workplace absentee, Your brain is full of pranks, you've got clown gas in your lungs, Jim Halpert, I wouldn't buy your pizzas if I were starving and they were free!
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Dec 19, 2023 00:32
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Jim posts on Facebook that he’s a millionaire giving out “good bless” to all who comment the phrase “Season Grettings” under his post. 4 of Dwight’s relatives and 17 of Angela’s have their credit card information stolen in the scheme. Angela’s elderly mother is especially angry as she repeatedly reminds Dwight that she “never fails for things like this”. She then tells Dwight that a man came by earlier today and offered her a great deal on repaving her driveway, since he did some other local jobs and had leftover asphalt. That wasn’t Jim, by the way, but when Dwight sadly recounts the story at work Jim makes a mental note to add that to his repertoire.
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Dec 19, 2023 01:16
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Jim gifts Dwight and Angela an all inclusive cruise to Jamaica. But when the boat lands it turns out it's actually Jimaica, where every citizen is Jim, and it was a one way ticket
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Dec 19, 2023 01:44
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Jim builds a life-sized Dwight out of Lego, then smashes it.
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Dec 19, 2023 02:40
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“Dammit Jim, now there’s Legos EVERYWHERE!” Dwight shouts, annoyed. “LEGO™️ bricks, Dwight. They’re called LEGO™️ bricks.”
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Dec 19, 2023 02:59
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Jim builds a life-sized Mickey Mouse out of Legos while downloading the entire song catalogue from the movie “Minions” onto his knockoff MacBook.
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Dec 19, 2023 03:08
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Jim stops updating Mac Hall, signaling the beginning of the end of the golden age of webcomics.
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Dec 19, 2023 03:09
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Jim slaps Dwight on the way to the break room to get some twizzlers. On his way back with a twizzler hanging from his mouth he grabs Dwight by the collar and shakes him violently until his glasses fall off. Jim snorts and sits back down at his desk.
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Dec 19, 2023 03:25
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Feeling overwhelmed with holiday stress, Jim starts “phoning in” his pranks. He records himself slapping Dwight across the face on his phone and uploads it to TikTok in the hopes of becoming a Prankstyle Influencer.
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Dec 19, 2023 04:17
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Jim eagerly produces page after page of violent pornographic comics featuring characters from the classic "Steambeet Dwilly" cartoon created by Walt Schrute back in the 1920s, preparing the publish them the moment the characters enters public domain in 2024. Dwight sighs at the thought of Mose Mouse being remembered for Jim's reimagining of the character by future generations.
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Dec 19, 2023 04:34
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim posts on Facebook that he’s a millionaire giving out “good bless” to all who comment the phrase “Season Grettings” under his post. 4 of Dwight’s relatives and 17 of Angela’s have their credit card information stolen in the scheme. Angela’s elderly mother is especially angry as she repeatedly reminds Dwight that she “never fails for things like this”. She then tells Dwight that a man came by earlier today and offered her a great deal on repaving her driveway, since he did some other local jobs and had leftover asphalt. Jim then paves the entirety of Dwight's farm. When Dwight refuses to pay for the service, Jim uses his influence as Official Dog Catcher in the lawsuit to gain reparations for the outstanding bill.
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Dec 19, 2023 05:36
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Jim smiles and hands Dwight a wrapped box for the Christmas gift exchange. Dwight tears open the wrapping to find the empty box waiting inside. "Good prank, Jim..." "No, it gets better, Dwight. The gift wasn't the box..." Dwight, confused, reexamines the box and then turns his attention to the shredded wrapping paper. Dwight then realizes that Jim had wrapped the box in an original sketch by Leonardo Da Vinci.
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Dec 19, 2023 06:22
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Jim schedules a recurring conference call for Fridays at 4 pm, then spends the first 10 minutes of the call going "Well, happy Friday everyone, what are everyone's weekend plans?"
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Dec 19, 2023 20:37
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Michael Scott is wrapping up a grueling, but extraordinarily productive, two-hour meeting right before the holiday break. Difficult budgetary decisions were made, staffing shortages were addressed, and a growth strategy for 2024 was decided upon. It's now 5:15 and everyone, exhausted from the long year, pushes back from the table. Jim, who (despite being the co-manager of the branch) clearly hasn't been paying attention the entire time (not having said anything or looked at the PowerPoints, except to occasionally throw in an unhelpful question like "But what does this do to our leadership-mandated priorities?" or "That's great, but is this really actionable?"), stops everyone with a long exhalation. "Well.... Let's hold on a minute. This might all look good, on paper," Jim waves his hand generally around, "but I don't know if we really managed our expectations with respect to our bandwidth? We probably need to double-click on this. I'm happy to take it offline, but..." Jim looks sternly around, "Heads are definitely going to roll if corporate feels like they haven't been brought along on this process." Everyone groans are reclaims their seats. They spend the next hour re-explaining to Jim everything that they already planned on and agreed to, while he nods noncommittally. Eventually, Jim stands up and shakes his head. "I haven't been given enough information to make a decision yet. I'm heading off to Orlando tonight, so I'll be out of pocket for the next three weeks. But when I get back, I hope you'll have the decisioning a little more fleshed out."
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Dec 19, 2023 21:30
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Feeling overwhelmed with holiday stress, Jim starts “phony gin” his pranks. Dwight goes blind after drinking a martini mixed with Jim's bathtub gin.
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Dec 19, 2023 22:24
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Feeling overwhelmed with holiday stress, Jim starts “phoning in” his pranks. He calls Dwight hundreds of times a day and he screams into the receiver when Dwight picks up.
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Dec 19, 2023 22:45
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Feeling overwhelmed with holiday stress, Jim starts “phoning in” his pranks. He calls Dwight hundreds of times a day but he always gets the occupied tone.
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Dec 19, 2023 23:16
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| # ? May 31, 2024 11:04 |
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Space Kablooey posted:Feeling overwhelmed with holiday stress, Jim starts “phoning in” his pranks. He calls Dwight hundreds of times a day but he always gets the occupied tone. This is because Jim is using a phone he invented for prank a previous years ago; the inter dimensional phone. Gay Dwight from the Zorro Universe is spending all day chatting with his beau Oscar.
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Dec 20, 2023 00:00
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