- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2024 14:51
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
A bdsm term called a "nuclear sub".
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 13:32
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
The Kidney Channel.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 16:31
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
A man travels back in time and inseminates himself and becomes his own rear end baby.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 17:09
|
|
- google THIS
-
|
A man travels back in time and inseminates himself and becomes his own rear end baby.
by Chuck Tingle
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 18:48
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
I realised that would require another time trip to place the assbaby in the starting position to become him. That might not be the only problem with the idea.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 18:58
|
|
- Harold Fjord
-
|
Something Offal
It's a cooking show
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 19:09
|
|
- Gaylor Moon
-
Gender? I hardly know'er
|
What do you call Santa's little helpers? No; not elves:
Subordinate clauses
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 22:54
|
|
- Finger Prince
-
|
You know how it can be fashionable to have your pants sit below your underwear top? And sometimes pants are even designed with this in mind?
Underwear with a fake butt crack, so your droopy jeans make it look like you have plumber butt.
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 23:05
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
I'm gonna tell you the REAL story of Christmas. The one they don't tell you in Sunday school.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2023 10:24
|
|
- Karate Bastard
-
|
Fake dongs that fashionistas casually hang from their unzipped zip
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2023 11:37
|
|
- Karate Bastard
-
|
Ok the results are in, starting next quarter muscularity is no longer hot, bendability is. Craig, cancel the squat racks and weight plates. Branson, get the entire team booked into hatha yoga, stat
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2023 12:04
|
|
- The Voice of Labor
-
|
I can't quite work a joke out of it, but a.i. generated interpretations of devo lyrics are absolutely peak devo
https://www.songtell.com/devo/fraulein
|
|
#
?
Dec 17, 2023 04:08
|
|
- Karate Bastard
-
|
"Here's what I do, I lead with the left foot, hang out a little jab, but make it theatrical like you're putting weight into it; guard wide, that's important, so when he goes in to counter with a jab then you throw an overhand right to the jaw and here you should be able to finish it with a straight jab right in the teeth."
--Mike Tyson's Hunter Tips, Season 8 Episode 3 - Rabbit.
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2023 15:08
|
|
- Karate Bastard
-
|
I think it's wild that you can say something like "Hyllymbvyör" to a Finnish person and they'll understand what you mean. Absolutely wild.
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2023 16:55
|
|
- Gaylor Moon
-
Gender? I hardly know'er
|
What's the name of Kenny Loggins Christmas album?
Highway to the Manger zone
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2023 00:48
|
|
- Drink-Mix Man
-
You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
|
What's the name of the Kenny Loggins insurrectionist anthem?
I'm Alt Right
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2023 05:31
|
|
- Abugadu
-
1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
|
What's the name of Kenny Loggins' spooky song about zombies?
Footloose
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2023 06:47
|
|
- Karate Bastard
-
|
What if jellyfish are the happiest things on the planet?
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2023 09:12
|
|
- Trying
-
|
What if jellyfish are the happiest things on the planet?
They’re actually the most envious creatures in God’s domain
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2023 10:44
|
|
- The Voice of Labor
-
|
cat food seems pretty gross to me but I guess I'm not the target demographic
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2023 04:12
|
|
- Abugadu
-
1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.
|
When life hands you almonds, make almondade.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2023 07:08
|
|
- Drink-Mix Man
-
You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
|
When wife hands you lemons, go ahead and put them on the table by the iced tea, dear.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2023 07:30
|
|
- Trying
-
|
when life hands you le mans, let jesus take the wheel
Trying fucked around with this message at 11:42 on Dec 22, 2023
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2023 09:25
|
|
- Viginti Septem
-
Oculus Noctuae
|
When life hands you lemmings, stay away from cliffs.
https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig! 
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2023 09:43
|
|
- Prurient Squid
-
Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
|
"Get a lode of this" said the Dwarf.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2023 10:46
|
|
- Drink-Mix Man
-
You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
|
Spock and Kirk are on that bus in Star Trek IV except instead of one punk playing his boombox, it's at least fifteen people blasting a different song, video, or game on their phones. The unconscious bodies pile up until Spock's hand cramps. One man timidly applauds off camera before catching Spock's gaze and silencing himself.
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2023 02:59
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
I've been doing real well on Tinder lately so I tried my hand at dating the most successful and powerful persons on the planet: corporations.
It's been a mixed bag.
- I figured Wendy's would send the guy who runs their witty Twitter account. But it was just a lawyer who asked me to sign an NDA about what may happen that night.
- LVMH went well enough but they turned down a second date last minute because I 'don't share their aspirational lifestyle goals'.
- Marlboro would only come if Bacardi could as well. What the hey? You only live once. But Marlboro showed up drunk and Bacardi chain-smoked the whole date and I had to end it short.
- Whole Foods wanted to meet at McDonald's which was a bit weird.
- For their part McDonald's took me out to an even cheaper fast food joint.
- Hobby Lobby sent eggplant and OK sign emojis and wrote that they're on the pill so we can hook up without worry. Honestly seemed a bit hypocritical not to say too forward.
- Unilever said they're not sure which part of them I was interested in.
- Planet Fitness told me dating them requires a 12 month commitment and added they were legally required to tell me 'Some have claimed difficulty in ending their relationship with us after this time period.'
- The Swatch Group... actually this went fine. Started out as a group date and I'm still seeing the older brother Hamilton.
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Dec 22, 2023
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2023 14:34
|
|
- Buttchocks
-
No, I like my hat, thanks.
|
I settled down with the LLC next door, no regrets.
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2023 15:21
|
|
- WithoutTheFezOn
-
Oh no
|
I settled down with the LLC …
|
|
#
?
Dec 22, 2023 22:26
|
|
- The Voice of Labor
-
|
getting an internet cabal together to act like a poster is a ghost
eg. after poster makes a post, immediately post "poster has been gone for a while but sometimes I think of them"
or after poster makes a post expressing an opinion, say that the man in the photo is wearing an ugly tie, immediately post "I wish poster were still around they'd sure have opinions about how ugly that tie the man in the photo is wearing is"
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2023 09:14
|
|
- Karate Bastard
-
|
Man this place used to be so much cooler. I wish The Voice of Labor didn't turn into a werewolf and moved to Baltimore.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2023 10:48
|
|
- Bright Bart
-
False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
|
Using even more intimate terms of endearment sarcastically.
Me: HEY! Watch where you're going bestie, day one, ride or die, boy who was my first, apple of my eye, mother of my children, light of my life, gorgeous little sister, dad who gave me everything, big brother I couldn't live without, my favourite grandchild... just watch it.
Them: Do we know each other?
Me: No. And I Intend to keep it that way.
|
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2023 14:20
|
|
- canyoneer
-
I only have canyoneyes for you
|
Building Inspectre:
a TV show with a foul-mouthed construction expert ghost hassling homeowners while they attempt shoddy diy renovations.
|
|
#
?
Dec 24, 2023 04:47
|
|
- google THIS
-
|
I spent most of my date with Cutco helping her get other dates but she assures me I'm really important to her
|
|
#
?
Dec 24, 2023 06:48
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 25, 2024 14:51
|
|
- crusty
-
Crustacean
|
Building Inspectre:
a TV show with a foul-mouthed construction expert ghost hassling homeowners while they attempt shoddy diy renovations.
Please write first episode and report back
|
|
#
?
Dec 24, 2023 13:00
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2023 07:32
