r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

hawowanlawow posted:

all the noise and seedy low class riff raff charging their EVs by my house, I won't have it

He 100% thought blocking EV charging was a genius way of owning the libs until he jumped on the Elon worship bandwagon for the same reason, and it bit him hard in the rear end. These guys are experts at self-ownage, and it never stops being funny.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 03:10

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:20

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It was but it was at least a week or two ago so I'm not going to Tuesday someone over that. Especially when not many people noticed. Besides, it's the holidays and my building was on fire this past Monday, so I'm feeling charitable.

Santa forgot to put out his pipe, and burnt down your house? I guess we know which list you were on.

Completely unrelated question:

The stories of "my husband/boyfriend thinks it's wrong/effeminate/etc. to wipe his arse or shower or brush his teeth and so on stories always tend to be Hetero couples with the woman complaining.

Where are the filthy slovenly unhygenic gay blokes? You're letting the team down.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 03:21

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Pirate Radar posted:

(FL) Local social services organization will not leave me alone.

[UPDATE] (FL) Local social services organization will not leave me alone.

I was following along fine until "luckily she was a traveler so she�s long gone now." What does that mean in Florida?

# ? Dec 30, 2023 03:28

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

BrigadierSensible posted:

Santa forgot to put out his pipe, and burnt down your house? I guess we know which list you were on.

Completely unrelated question:

The stories of "my husband/boyfriend thinks it's wrong/effeminate/etc. to wipe his arse or shower or brush his teeth and so on stories always tend to be Hetero couples with the woman complaining.

Where are the filthy slovenly unhygenic gay blokes? You're letting the team down.

You mean, where are the guys saying, �yes I�m exclusively homosexual, but I don�t wipe my rear end because that would be gay�?

# ? Dec 30, 2023 03:34

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Bruceski posted:

I was following along fine until "luckily she was a traveler so she�s long gone now." What does that mean in Florida?

Could be working in health care. "Travel" nurses are people who take on lucrative but temporary contracts. For example if a hospital has a nurse that is going to be out on maternity/paternity leave they might hire a travel nurse to cover for that extended absence (after trying their damndest to force the other nurses to take on the work to avoid having to pay anyone else).

# ? Dec 30, 2023 03:40

dividertabs: Oct 1, 2004

BrigadierSensible posted:

The stories of "my husband/boyfriend thinks it's wrong/effeminate/etc. to wipe his arse or shower or brush his teeth and so on stories always tend to be Hetero couples with the woman complaining.

Where are the filthy slovenly unhygenic gay blokes? You're letting the team down.

As a gay guy who agrees that washing your rear end makes you gay I am very diligent about it.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 03:46

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

BrigadierSensible posted:

Santa forgot to put out his pipe, and burnt down your house? I guess we know which list you were on.

Haha, a bunch of people lost everything they own including their homes in a fire on Christmas morning.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 04:04

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Shifty Pony posted:

Could be working in health care. "Travel" nurses are people who take on lucrative but temporary contracts. For example if a hospital has a nurse that is going to be out on maternity/paternity leave they might hire a travel nurse to cover for that extended absence (after trying their damndest to force the other nurses to take on the work to avoid having to pay anyone else).

Ah, that sort of thing (in health care or not) would make sense. I instinctively parsed it as a slur.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 04:32

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

PokeJoe posted:

Someone empty quote the (not pillow) post from the thread title I can't find it

There's a post that collects thread change titles on the first page. That should have been linked in the OP awhile ago.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 04:37

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Bruceski posted:

Ah, that sort of thing (in health care or not) would make sense. I instinctively parsed it as a slur.

The other possibility is that she's one of those people who comes down to Florida for the winter then goes back up north when the snow melts. We normally call such people 'snowbirds,' but I could see a poster calling such a person a traveler or traveling person rather than explaining what a snowbird is.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 04:37

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Jumped in the river, what did I see?

Black out Angel swimming with me.....

# ? Dec 30, 2023 04:38

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Captain Hygiene posted:

Hold the awards show, last minute Parent Of The Year contender coming in!

AITA for thinking that my daughter spitting on her sisters food is just normal sibling stuff?

This kinda reminds me how I gave my daughters a bowl of strawberries to share and my younger daughter got to the bowl first and managed to lick every single strawberry since her older sister would refuse to eat them.

Of course, they were both under six at the time.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 05:52

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

SulfurMonoxideCute posted:

He 100% thought blocking EV charging was a genius way of owning the libs until he jumped on the Elon worship bandwagon for the same reason, and it bit him hard in the rear end. These guys are experts at self-ownage, and it never stops being funny.

Hes in the UK so probs just a nimby

# ? Dec 30, 2023 06:08

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

ah, that also explains why he thinks three meters is a long distance. almost an overnight trip, that is

# ? Dec 30, 2023 07:12

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

ghost emoji posted:

AITA for Cursing Out a Bath and Body Works Employee? (self.AmItheAsshole)

and another thing: im not Karen. please dont put in the reddit that i went Karen.

I love the combination of shopping for an extremely dainty item but also being absolutely willing to bring down the hand of God if they don�t have your goddamn motherfucking winter white candle sticks!!!

# ? Dec 30, 2023 07:53

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

i want her to take it to small claims court and have the judge put a dollar value on exactly how much damage she suffered in not being able to get the candle she wanted.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 08:31

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

BrigadierSensible posted:

Santa forgot to put out his pipe, and burnt down your house? I guess we know which list you were on.

Completely unrelated question:

The stories of "my husband/boyfriend thinks it's wrong/effeminate/etc. to wipe his arse or shower or brush his teeth and so on stories always tend to be Hetero couples with the woman complaining.

Where are the filthy slovenly unhygenic gay blokes? You're letting the team down.

Presumably gay men have standards and enforce them.

Alternatively, all the unhygienic gay blokes date other unhygienic gay blokes?

# ? Dec 30, 2023 08:58

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for having sex in my own house?

quote:

I feel like there�s no way I�m wrong on this one, but you guys tell me.

So a couple weeks ago my friend Jay (26f) called me asking to stay with me. She�d been staying with her mom while she was in town for a few weeks (she lives in NC but is on medical leave ) and they got into a fight. I told her yes of course, she can stay as long as she needs. In the course of her being here her and her boyfriend broke up, and according to her the relationship was the last thing keeping her in NC. So she�s decided to stay in the state and find employment/housing. I wasn�t expecting to be housing and feeding her indefinitely with little to no financial support, but I wasn�t about to put her on the streets.

The issue is; I recently got into a relationship with Kam (25m). We�ve been toying around with the idea for a year in the FWB stage, and he formally asked me out last week. So of course we�ve been very much in the honeymoon stage. We aren�t egregious with PDA, but I�ll admit there�s alot of giggling and hand holding, showing affection we didn�t before. But we still converse normally, and don�t leave Jay out. But this is apparently BOTHERING Jay. She�ll huff around the apartment, lock my bedroom door when he�s here, and generally just be kinda bitchy. Anytime I bring him up, she�s cold and disinterested.

The main issue came about an hour ago. Kam was over hanging out, one thing led to another and we ended up having a quickie on the couch. Jay texted me after, angry as hell and saying I was disrespectful??? For having sex with her in the other room. I�ll admit some pent up anger from walking around on eggshells caused me to explode a bit. I asked her how the hell having sex in my own house was disrespectful. We did our best to keep it down and make it quick. Her argument was #1 that we did it in the living room, and #2 while she was awake. I told her it wouldn�t have been in the living room if she didn�t lock herself in MY bedroom, which is where people USUALLY have sex. And it�s my damned house, I�ll gently caress on the kitchen counters if I like. She accused me of being a �dictator of the house just like our parents�, said I was being a lovely friend, and stormed back into the room.

So you guys tell me. Am I being the rear end in a top hat here?

try the counter thing next, maybe

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:09

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Gee I wonder why her mom kicked her out.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:25

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

Bruceski posted:

I was following along fine until "luckily she was a traveler so she�s long gone now." What does that mean in Florida?

I just assumed she was an Irish Traveler.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:29

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

-Rolls Potential Reason dice-
Jay has a crush on OP and was hoping that living together with them would lead to things happening, Rom-Com style. Now Kam is clam-jamming her (or whatever the female equivalent of cock-blocking is) and she's pissed off at the perceived intrusion.

Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 09:33 on Dec 30, 2023

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:31

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Malachite_Dragon posted:

-Rolls Potential Reason dice-
Jay has a crush on OP and was hoping that living together with them would lead to things happening, Rom-Com style. Now Kam is clam-jamming her (or whatever the female equivalent of cock-blocking is) and she's pissed off at the perceived intrusion.

it's clam-jamming now

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:35

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for having sex in my own house?

OP hasn�t explained yet why her friend was in her bedroom. Like whether she had her own room to stay in, if she happened to get trapped on that side of the living room, etc.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:42

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

quote:

She�ll huff around the apartment, lock my bedroom door when he�s here, and generally just be kinda bitchy.

she locks herself in there when the bf comes over. maybe it's the only room with a lock? maybe she thinks they can't gently caress if she's occupying the bedroom? who knows

# ? Dec 30, 2023 09:50

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

kimbo305 posted:

OP hasn�t explained yet why her friend was in her bedroom. Like whether she had her own room to stay in, if she happened to get trapped on that side of the living room, etc.

I was reading OP as male, do they mention their gender in the comments?

# ? Dec 30, 2023 10:18

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Guardian article about the movement of women turning to social media to find out if their dates are cheating

quote:

Sarah* met Max* for their first date at a cocktail bar on a cool spring evening. They had matched online, talked about TV shows and movies, and he picked the place and time.

He was tall, smart, good looking in an understated way. Sarah thought a second date might be on the cards.

Then she felt a tap on her shoulder.

�There�s a tall, striking looking blond woman standing there. My first thought is she�s front of house coming to tell me the kitchen was closing,� Sarah says.

She was not.

�She basically said something like: �Look, sorry to interrupt your event, but the guy opposite you � I was dating him until recently � and while I was dating him he was also in a relationship with somebody else.��

Sarah says she was almost in shock, going from the strange intimacy of a date to this heightened, dramatic confrontation.

�Then she said: �Hi Max, and good luck,�� Sarah says.

�And she turned around and vanished.�

Let�s call that striking blond woman Annabel.

Annabel had been seeing Max for about three months but broke it off. She�d had suspicions about one of his Facebook friends, and messaged the friend.

�I�d been right on the money. She was devastated. She was six months in,� Annabel says.

Fast forward to that cool spring evening. Annabel had met a friend for a drink nearby.

�I saw [the bar] and inwardly cringed, remembering that�s where Max had taken me on a first date,� she says. �Then, as if conjured from my mind, there sat Max, at the same table where we�d sat. And he wasn�t alone.�

Annabel says she felt a �sense of civic duty� along with �a touch of righteousness� as she approached Sarah and Max, and turned the date on its head.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 10:32

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Runcible Cat posted:

I was reading OP as male, do they mention their gender in the comments?

in comments on other posts, yeah. OP is a woman

# ? Dec 30, 2023 10:34

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

blatman posted:

dancing and drunkenly making out with people owns actually

And yet I get held in contempt of court for doing that when fighting a traffic ticket

# ? Dec 30, 2023 10:42

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Foo Diddley posted:

it's clam-jamming now

Come on and CLAM and welcome to the JAM

# ? Dec 30, 2023 11:34

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Come on and CLAM and welcome to the JAM

Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD, Clam jam DVD,

# ? Dec 30, 2023 11:56

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Born on a mountain,
Raised in a cave,
Kam's Clam Jam is all that I crave.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 12:04

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Whoa Black Betty
Jam a clam

# ? Dec 30, 2023 12:10

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

GRAND SLAM CLAM JAM

# ? Dec 30, 2023 12:13

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Clam jam thank you ma�am

# ? Dec 30, 2023 12:21

Mr Teatime: Apr 7, 2009

Pump up the clam, pump it up
While your feet are stompin'
And the jam is pumpin'

# ? Dec 30, 2023 12:32

Sekenr: Dec 12, 2013

Elissimpark posted:

I realise everyone has different levels of comfort with bodily fluids, which is fine, but I still want to yell "get in the tub, weiner" at the husband.

(Full disclosure - I have been present for all the births of our kids and actually caught the last one cos the midwives had stepped away for a few minutes. I'm also a weirdo who made plaster casts of all their placentas, so my tolerance for ickiness is pretty high.)

Can you at least explain why? Do you take them out once in a while to look at them or?

E: does your family know about it?

Sekenr fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Dec 30, 2023

# ? Dec 30, 2023 13:56

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

I (M35) play with my wife (F33) in a two-player PC game, and if she's not doing well, I come up with ways to turn it into something erotic

quote:

We're playing a PC game, and she's struggling a lot because she's not much of a gamer. After failing a mission multiple times, I feel like saying, 'next fail and you give me a blowjob' However, I'm afraid it might come off as rude, as she sometimes likes it and sometimes doesn't. So, I refrain from saying it, and it frustrates me that I didn't try. Do you also experiment with sex in this way? I'm not good at initiating, and she rarely does it either

Tl;dr I'm looking for ways to initiate sex in an "different" manner.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 13:56

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Maybe instead of jumping straight to "give me a blowjob" try something like "For each life you lose on this level you take off one item of clothing, for each level you beat I take off one item of clothing".

# ? Dec 30, 2023 14:02

Sekenr: Dec 12, 2013

The Bramble posted:

I (M35) play with my wife (F33) in a two-player PC game, and if she's not doing well, I come up with ways to turn it into something erotic

I once tried something like this and it didn't end well. We agreed with my gf that she will give me a blowjob if she loses a game of cards to me. Except I lost and she said don't worry I'll do it anyway, I tried to explain that it's just isn't the same thing. But I was pretty drunk at this point and we just went to sleep.

# ? Dec 30, 2023 14:06

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:20

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Clam, I wish I was your jammer

# ? Dec 30, 2023 14:12

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