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33 is the average age (assuming you have a college degree) to have a kid as a male nowadays. Our generation had to put off having kids more than boomers for the obvious reasons.
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Jan 2, 2024 15:57
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Thank you for the reminders to finish live-action One Piece, got that and the upcoming Shogun miniseries to hit early this year. MrLogan posted:33 is the average age (assuming you have a college degree) to have a kid as a male nowadays. Checks out, I had my first just before my 34th birthday and I can't imagine having the means to have done it much sooner.
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Jan 2, 2024 16:15
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I had my first and only kid at 26, now I’m 38 and getting snipped in a couple days, I definitely felt like I missed out on a little by having to get all responsible and whatnot earlier than a lot of my peers, but I also am pretty glad to not be starting on that journey now, I’m not entirely decrepit yet and she’s really becoming independent. She just started the phase where she refuses to come out of her room before 11 am, I have my mornings back!
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Jan 2, 2024 16:35
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I come from a long line of old kid havers, my dad's mom was 38 when he was born, my dad was 36 when I was born, and I was 34 when my first kid was born. It is weird to know 40 year olds that still have their Grandparents, my last one died when I was ~25, the closest one to that was when I was 17.
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Jan 2, 2024 16:46
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You are receiving this broadcast as a dream...We are transmitting from the year one nine... nine nine ...You are receiving this broadcast in order t
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I will say that my daughter’s friend got pregnant and had a kid at 15 or 16. I understand feeling old as a parent but having a kid that young in today’s times blows my mind. I don’t know how she does it.
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Jan 2, 2024 16:50
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My brother was born 2 days after my mom turned 18.
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Jan 2, 2024 16:53
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Silly Burrito posted:I will say that my daughter’s friend got pregnant and had a kid at 15 or 16. I understand feeling old as a parent but having a kid that young in today’s times blows my mind. I don’t know how she does it. My sister-in-law was pregnant in high school and gave birth like a month after she graduated. She then had two more kids about 2 years apart. So by 23 she had 3 kids. I didn't meet them until her first kid was 8, but all I know is that they struggled hard financially for many years until her husband was able to land a better paying job through a career change into IT and some family connections. My wife's family isn't well off, so both parents essentially worked their butts off, and relied on grandparents to watch the kids a lot. They also moved to the far out suburbs to get cheap housing, but it meant long commutes. Essentially it has sucked for a long time, and now that the oldest is off to college, my SIL is starting to get anxious about an empty house. Her kids have been her entire adult life, she doesn't have a ton of friends, and never had time to develop hobbies or interests. It will be really interesting in about 5 years if all the kids are out of the house. E: I think with all things parenting is that no matter what, you figure something out because you don't have much of a choice. The lucky ones lean on family a lot, the unlucky ones go broke paying for childcare, and the really unlucky ones end up homeless or lose their kids to the state all together. I'm sure we have a few people in this thread who could go into that, but I don't think we all need to get depressed this early into the new year. I know if my kid became a dad at 16 I'd essentially end up taking on about half the role of fathering the child to try to let my kid still focus on school, graduate, and then get a job. I sure as hell wouldn't like it, but it's not like I'd have a lot of choice in the matter, and I'd rather do that then watch my kid drop out. Bird in a Blender fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Jan 2, 2024 |
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Jan 2, 2024 17:06
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Aaaaaaarrrrrggggg posted:^ 42 with 8 and 4 year olds. I'm... So tired. 40 with 6/2, so I'm on this pace. Definitely glad I waited, even though I am more tired than I want to be.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:13
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Qwijib0 posted:40 with 6/2, so I'm on this pace. Definitely glad I waited, even though I am more tired than I want to be. 40 with a 7yo. I feel way more capable of handling the ups and downs of parenthood but *gently caress* am I just tired.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:16
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38 with nothing 
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Jan 2, 2024 17:20
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My parents had me at 17 and then my mom had my baby sister at 38, so it's a fun age gap to explain. I both do and don't want to be back to work today. I'm caught up since I checked all my emails last night but short weeks get weird, especially after the holidays.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:20
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Silly Burrito posted:I will say that my daughter’s friend got pregnant and had a kid at 15 or 16. I understand feeling old as a parent but having a kid that young in today’s times blows my mind. I don’t know how she does it. Honey that child got pregnant at 14. She just turned 16 and has a 1 year old. It's so stupid. And she doesn't do it, her mom does a lot. But she dropped out of school and the baby daddy 18 year old does construction and spends his time cross faded af. I'm being judgmental, but gently caress if I'm raising a grandchild at 45. gently caress offff. I was a trap baby myself when my mom was 18 and my dad was 26. It didn't work out because my parents got divorced when I was 14. Across the mom group I was always 5-10 years older than other moms with kids the same age as ours. We brought our oldest home from the hospital on my 28th birthday. Braksgirl fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Jan 2, 2024 |
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Jan 2, 2024 17:21
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I turn 40 this year. One of the conditions if I'm going to marry my otherwise perfect gf is that we have to get her pregnant within the next three years. I had intended on being dink, but motherhood is a dream of hers. I am not looking forward to the work, but she is incredible in every way I can think. The struggle is indeed real.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:24
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38 with a 2 yr old. Wish I had my kid in my 20s but I am in excellent shape for an almost 40 yd old so parenting isn’t tough. Have a cool patient mind that drifts off happy places anytime I am stressed. My wife and I most importantly are a very good team with great communication
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Jan 2, 2024 17:26
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Bird in a Blender posted:I think 3/4 of my posts get ignored. I’ve come to terms with not being funny on the internet. I’m usually funnier in real life. I read and cherish every one of your posts, Bird. I'm nearly 49, no kids, we kind of talked about "hey it's too late now right" a year ago just as our final check-in that we did all along of "still don't want kids, right?" I never got snipped so it was always an option if we changed our minds, and it feels very strange having sort of slid past that fuzzy deadline now, and with my mom's passing I've got those thoughts like, who is gonna take care of us when we're old, when we go is anyone going to remember us, sorta thing. I wouldn't call it regrets, but I spend some time thinking about alternative lives I might have led. What if I'd pursued my interest in archaeology instead of being a technical writer? What if we'd bought a different house instead of this one 14 years ago? What if I'd pushed myself to write fiction? But in the new year I think a new years' resolution for me is to focus on the future more, and less on the past. There's no kids, ok, that's the decision we made in our 20s and 30s and now we live with that and do whatever we want to do this year. I think we might take a trip to go visit our friends in Sweden.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:27
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Mr. Nice! posted:I turn 40 this year. One of the conditions if I'm going to marry my otherwise perfect gf is that we have to get her pregnant within the next three years. I had intended on being dink, but motherhood is a dream of hers. I say this with love and not that you'll necessarily do this, but if you're going to go into parenthood resentful because it was her dream and not yours, then cut her loose now. Parenthood loving sucks like 85% of the time so if you're not all in and prepared to be a useful and equitable partner, then don't do it.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:29
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Leperflesh posted:I read and cherish every one of your posts, Bird. Thanks Leper. Focusing on the future more is something I should do too. I really really really dwell on past decisions, and it's not good for my mental health. I think most of my adult life I look back on decisions I made (or didn't make) and how I feel my life would've been better if I had done something different, and I really have no clue if things would've been better. Ultimately, I think it comes from feeling unsatisfied with my current life. If I look towards the future more, I think it will help with my attitude. Not to keep hammering on the parenting thing, but my wife and I talked about it last night and I realized I really need to have a better attitude with parenting. I've been treating it like a chore, and I need to stop doing that because it just makes the whole thing even more miserable. My new year's resolution is to just be more active with my son, and to stop being such a mope about the things I can't do because parenting takes up all my time. I can't undue being a parent, so I need to stop worrying about it. My wife realized she needs to do the same, although I think it may be harder for her.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:34
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With anyone I knew under 20 who had a kid, the make or break point was how much help their parents/grandparents gave them.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:34
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I think whenever my parents die I’ll really wish I’d had kids.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:39
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Turned 46 last month and no kids. A part of me wonders if I "missed the window" though I know medically I can make kids as long as I got decent swimmers down there., mainly because now if I have any I'd be in my 60's by the time they're ready to go to college. Of course, there's also the whole aspect of "finding a partner to receive my demon seed" that I'm woefully bad at. My sister kinda wanted kids and during her marriage she realized it wasn't going to be in the cards for her. 
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Jan 2, 2024 17:41
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I could still have kids - and if I end up with another trans woman, we could just adopt - but I feel like I'm fine if I don't. I would have to really want to have a kid to do it the, uhhh...conventional way though. It would be a process. My ex has a wonderful (and terrible) twelve year-old daughter and when I thought we might actually end up together I was really excited at the prospect of being her mom. I still look forward to seeing her whenever I visit my ex and occasionally bring her snacks. Kurgarra Queen fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Jan 2, 2024 |
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Jan 2, 2024 17:48
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It helps a bit that my older sister had two kids. I love my niece and nephew, but they're both special needs autism kids and I have no illusions that they're going to be capable of taking care of their aunt and uncle when we're old - hell, we may well still be helping to take care of them, the one that is 20 is showing zero signs of adapting to such adult challenges as "get your first job" or "do anything besides video games" and my sister's not got the will to push him harder. The younger one wants to be a programmer lately, but she's 17 and when I tried to answer a question about what tablet she should get that will let her do art directly on the tablet she was frustrated and confused by the concept of there being different operating systems, so the self-study aspect of learning tech doesn't seem to be strong there either. And she's trans, so that's another life challenge to deal with. I have three other siblings and none show any signs of maybe having kids eventually. My sister in seattle had a hysterectomy, she's poly and she has a long, long history of having terrible partners. My brother is married to an older woman and he is in his early 40s now, they might have a year or two left to try and have kids but they haven't said they're gonna. My other sister is trans and talking about getting her bottom surgery this year, maybe she'd eventually have a kid with a partner but imagine that kid having like five aunts and uncles to try and take care of when they're old? Anyway the long and the short of it is, none of us in my family can expect young people to be supporting us. We'll have to try and support one another, and I guess save enough money to hire people. Make lots of friends. I like to joke that by the time we're that old we'll have household robots to do things for us. We used to think that the robots would evolve to kill all humans, but now looking at the track record of AI cars, I think they'll be more likely to accidentally wreck the kitchen because their sensors can't see your new cookware, and then blithely run out into traffic and get creamed by a tesla truck.
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Jan 2, 2024 17:49
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Smoking Crow posted:do any of you play fighting games? my friends are trying to get me back into granblue vs rising. i played original granblue back when it was new, but i thought it was the most average fighter on the market Rising is a gigantic improvement over the original (it's so good I put it in my top ten list for 2023); they added a bunch of new mechanics, threw in all the DLC characters from GBFV, improved the lighting so the game's even better looking now, 2B's going to be a guest character, and there's a free version available with Gran and a rotating selection of characters available to play every week. I haven't put as much time into it as I'd like, but maybe Manoueverable can add their two cents on it. I say at least try the free version and mess around with it. It's a ton of fun. Smoking Crow posted:That said, the difference in skill between top players in fgs and ppl like me are night and day Hey, since your friends are trying to get you into Rising, all that matters at the end of the day is that you're better than them. fartknocker posted:And I you! 
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Jan 2, 2024 18:03
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Pron on VHS posted:38 with a 2 yr old. Wish I had my kid in my 20s but I am in excellent shape for an almost 40 yd old so parenting isn’t tough. Have a cool patient mind that drifts off happy places anytime I am stressed. My wife and I most importantly are a very good team with great communication That's huge right there. You both need to be on the same page as much as possible. Parenthood has been tough for us but we always check in with and support one another. bobjr posted:With anyone I knew under 20 who had a kid, the make or break point was how much help their parents/grandparents gave them. My sister-in-law (she's in her late 30s and BIL in his mid-40s) was telling my wife the other day that they have no idea how we're managing. They moved to be closer to my wife's parents and get a lot of help babysitting and drat it seems nice. I'm not sure it would entirely matter for us though as our daughter has some mental/emotional issues that make her hard to handle at times and I don't know that her aging parents would be capable of it. We don't even feel comfortable hiring babysitters because while it's not a sure thing that there would be problems, if there are, I don't think the average person is going to know how to handle it. Leperflesh posted:It helps a bit that my older sister had two kids. I love my niece and nephew, but they're both special needs autism kids and I have no illusions that they're going to be capable of taking care of their aunt and uncle when we're old - hell, we may well still be helping to take care of them, the one that is 20 is showing zero signs of adapting to such adult challenges as "get your first job" or "do anything besides video games" and my sister's not got the will to push him harder. The younger one wants to be a programmer lately, but she's 17 and when I tried to answer a question about what tablet she should get that will let her do art directly on the tablet she was frustrated and confused by the concept of there being different operating systems, so the self-study aspect of learning tech doesn't seem to be strong there either. And she's trans, so that's another life challenge to deal with. E: yeah I was just gonna say, I don't even know for sure if my daughter is going to be able to take care of herself as an adult, let alone us. "
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Jan 2, 2024 18:06
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Sugar momma got me a drone for my birthday!
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Jan 2, 2024 18:08
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I am 38 with a 17 year old. I was extremely lucky that my mom didn't work because my ex wife left when our kid was 9 months old. My mom was able to let me pursue jobs that paid the bills and didn't have to fork over a ton in daycare just paying her some cash. I got snipped a couple of years ago because I started dating again after moving to Kentucky and didn't want to have another kid. I know my kid will always need some kind of help but I've been looking forward to being 41 and being able to travel and do stuff if I want since I didn't have that ability.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:09
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I wouldn't want to procreate with Kentuckians either
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Jan 2, 2024 18:16
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33, single, no prospects, lovely job, highly unlikely to ever have kids and not motivated to do so anyway. Being an uncle or older cousin is cool.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:20
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Kurgarra Queen posted:I could still have kids - and if I end up with another trans woman, we could just adopt - but I feel like I'm fine if I don't. I would have to really want to have a kid to do it the, uhhh...conventional way though. It would be a process. yeah I'm very glad I had mine pre-transition. and as a bonus, I came out early enough that they had no trouble switching over.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:22
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41 with a 14 and 9 year old. I can't imagine having a newborn at this age. Nope. I need to get that vasectomy scheduled asap.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:27
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41 with three grown stepkids
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Jan 2, 2024 18:27
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I am very on the fence about kids and spend plenty of time being fun aunty for my friends kids and select family members. My partner's also pretty meh about the idea but I can also see myself changing my mind and being an old lady mom. I've swung back and forth on this for as long as people have been asking me about kids but I pretty firmly land on the "if I'm not 100% yes, I'm not having a kid" square regardless. I can't lie, work plus a bunch of personal life stuff have definitely influenced my choices here significantly.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:35
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43 with a cat. It's funny how much my extended family on my dad's side encapsulates the generational divide. My eldest aunt moved to Maryland, and had 5 kids, the youngest of which is 7 years older then I am. All 5 of them have married and each have multiple kids. I'm 43, so right on that breakline between X / Millennial and have a younger sister and 5 younger cousins all of which are 5-10 years younger then me. Not a one of us have a kid, only one of us are married at all, and 0 plan on having kids. Couple of the elder cousins married stupid wealthy too. Like "sends a christmas card proudly mentioning her fundraiser for Ron DeSantis" rich.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:38
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kiimo posted:I wouldn't want to procreate with Kentuckians either Been there, done that, I highly recommend it. Of course, my sample size is 1.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:47
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36 going on 37. Got married last year, finally. One of my biggest issues is that I've been agreeing to doing a lot of things that felt fine at the time, but upon doing them I'm really not happy with - like I thought buying a house was a good idea but I miss living in Seattle and realize I don't need a lot of space for things, or that doing a Catholic wedding would be nbd then going into it being a pretty big revelation about how much I hate the Catholic Church. One thing I haven't done is had kids, but my wife wants them. I had agreed shortly after we got engaged, but recently told her that I need more time to get my poo poo together. She's sad but understanding, but I honestly don't know if I'm going to change my mind just given that I haven't been in a good mental headspace for awhile, and unsure if I'll ever come around to that. My parents already have 3 grandkids (one via previous marriage who they've known since she was 3) so they never pressure me. Wife's parents don't have grandkids, and both parents come from huge families so the pressure is there. It's just... not a great place to be.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:50
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My experience with Kentuckians is 100% the "Go Big Blue Cayuuuuuuuuts" fans so my sample size isn't great either
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Jan 2, 2024 18:50
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I can barely take care of my housemate's dog, so the idea of raising a kid of my own is pretty crazy. That said I can be a great dog uncle, as seen by getting Fritha some dog goggles & hearing protection for Christmas.
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Jan 2, 2024 18:51
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Braksgirl posted:I say this with love and not that you'll necessarily do this, but if you're going to go into parenthood resentful because it was her dream and not yours, then cut her loose now. Parenthood loving sucks like 85% of the time so if you're not all in and prepared to be a useful and equitable partner, then don't do it. Agreed. It is impossible to convey to someone how much emotional and physical labor goes into having a child. Having a kid *for* someone else, if you’re not totally bought in, will result in resentment from you because of the workload, or from her when you have to mentally check out to deal with it. Wife and I were 100% bought in, financially prepared and educated on the promise and pitfalls and it’s still by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life by ten thousand miles. I’d never undo it and love (LOVE) being a dad, but holy moly I could not imagine doing it if I weren’t 100% in. Edited to add that we got married at 29/28 and took 4 years just being married and together as a couple before having a kid. That made a big difference because we wanted to be sure that we were prepared and that we felt we wanted to add to our family. Giving yourself breathing room is important, and we got to a place where we felt like we wanted to build our family further beyond the sort of nebulous “I want kids one day.” LeeMajors fucked around with this message at 18:54 on Jan 2, 2024 |
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Jan 2, 2024 18:51
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I'll be 35 this year with a cat, maybe another by then, and a wife. Neither of us wants kids
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Jan 2, 2024 18:53
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I think I might get a cat this year.
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