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I wish I could also work at your guys' dicksucking factories
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Jan 10, 2024 12:12
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Barudak posted:My boss gave me my year end review early to confirm Im in the top 2.5% of the entire org. May i suggest you hire me, my pros are that I dont speak japanese and I have never worked Sales before.
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Jan 10, 2024 12:16
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Randy Travesty posted:I got the note yesterday that says "don't sell anything else this month." There's 5000+ unprocessed tickets that are now my fault because I sold too much. So you're the one selling Boeing planes that the door's fell off. Stop doing that!
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Jan 10, 2024 14:02
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Atopian posted:Tickets. That's what it's called. Dropping a ticket. When an advisor enters an order into an electronic order entry system at point of sale in this particular entry, it's a ticket. It attaches a ticket number, which then becomes a policy number. Comstar posted:So you're the one selling Boeing planes that the door's fell off. Stop doing that! Worse. I also work for a large Japanese parent company that deals with financial matters. I'm still not convinced that somehow barudak and I are going to cross paths and be in a conference room going "so, sold anything this year? Me either."
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Jan 10, 2024 14:26
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Starting to seem like Japan's entire economy runs on not selling anything.
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Jan 10, 2024 15:23
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Everett False posted:Was asked to disable the mailbox on the fax machine because going to the mailbox and entering the password (12345678) was too hard even with instructions tucked into the manual on the side of the machine. Looking forward to the daily printing of the same guy trying to sell us awnings, as well as the next time a vendor's fax machine fucks up and sends us a fax of the same invoice every five minutes for two days. We have in fact been getting regular faxes from the guy trying to sell us awnings. Also, when the tray that faxes print from hosed up, every attempt to fax us would cause the printer to be out of order until we could fish the crumpled paper out of the innards. If we did not immediately delete the fax and request they email us instead, it would try to print the fax again and jam again immediately in a sisyphean nightmare of paper. Because we don't have the mailbox enabled there was no option to send the fax to our local server as a scan instead. Anyway here's a cool fax we got today.   
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Jan 10, 2024 16:32
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Everett False posted:We have in fact been getting regular faxes from the guy trying to sell us awnings. Also, when the tray that faxes print from hosed up, every attempt to fax us would cause the printer to be out of order until we could fish the crumpled paper out of the innards. If we did not immediately delete the fax and request they email us instead, it would try to print the fax again and jam again immediately in a sisyphean nightmare of paper. Because we don't have the mailbox enabled there was no option to send the fax to our local server as a scan instead. In my first real office job, one of my tasks each day was to view the incoming faxes via our efax system, and only print out the actual sales forms from the clients. I was an IT dude, hired to help do a bunch of poo poo my boss was too busy for. But we'd get a ton of legit faxes, and then you know, 900 spam faxes with random poo poo just like the above. Fortunately my boss had a coke habit, blammed his lovely work on me, and got me fired. That's how I ended up never touching a fax machine or printer for work again.
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Jan 10, 2024 17:09
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Everett False posted:We have in fact been getting regular faxes from the guy trying to sell us awnings. Also, when the tray that faxes print from hosed up, every attempt to fax us would cause the printer to be out of order until we could fish the crumpled paper out of the innards. If we did not immediately delete the fax and request they email us instead, it would try to print the fax again and jam again immediately in a sisyphean nightmare of paper. Because we don't have the mailbox enabled there was no option to send the fax to our local server as a scan instead. Fax machines are cool because you get to waste someone else's paper, ink and printing time for spam that you send. It's better than spam marketing calls because they might not get the option to just stop getting their time wasted by hanging up. lmao at the Ron Paul mention at the end.
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Jan 10, 2024 17:18
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I was alone in the office when it came in and when I saw Ron Paul I cackled out loud like a gremlin.
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Jan 10, 2024 17:41
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We have three tiers of work poo poo happening. A project is basically a quarter, we say "for the next x months we are going to do this work" and stretches across our whole delivery team. A product is a major (i.e. 1.x) release of one of our systems (usually but not always within a project). This might be specific to a development team. An iteration is usually (but not always) a 4 week period where a development team works on a product. For each of these we have a checklist with multiple stages. A project has 4 stages - a pre-planning stage where the management have a rough idea of what they want, a planning stage where this is fleshed out into actual features, a commit stage where we check we have capacity to do that, and a completion stage where we talk about what was done. A product has roughly similar steps but with an extra production release step at the end, and an iteration only has three - planning, commit, completion. My boss goes through this checklist pretty rigorously. He finds time in everyone's diaries to hold meetings to go through each of the questions, some of which are quite important. I've been doing some work recently to tidy up/improve the QA parts of it because it asks questions that everyone just says "Yes" to and doesn't deliver any value - the Security guys did the same just before Christmas. It's a lot of work for him to go through and find the time and fill things out. We've discovered, as part of my review and his own work, that none of the other delivery teams loving bother with any of it. On the rare occasions they actually fill out the checklist, it's either done on the same day (so they complete and production release on the same day, when it's supposed to go to another team to verify) or they've just copied information from the previous one. Most of the time, though, it's entirely blank. Leading my boss and I to wonder what the gently caress are they actually doing? Like yes I get that it's mostly just paperwork and everyone hates paperwork, but as I said there are some important questions about things like security and performance. Unsurprisingly, these delivery teams also generate the highest number of customer issues (which we're now having to help the Ops team to sort out because they're completely snowed under). Our director is pissed off with quality and is now funneling more money into the department to try and fix it. I'm pretty sure the mess would be massively helped by the delivery team leads actually doing their jobs.
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Jan 10, 2024 18:56
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We got mail today that told me I needed to contact a Canadian lawyer to collect my inheritance from my father's estate. No one in my family has ever been to Canada, much less died there. The name the letter used for my dad doesn't appear on our family tree at all. I thought it was funny but I feel bad for the girl they sent to deliver it to me because she was incredibly nervous handing me this file.
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Jan 10, 2024 20:08
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Are you going to contact the guy? It's free money.
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Jan 10, 2024 20:26
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Thought about it and using the corp bank account if he needs details. Either I miss out on that dosh and the company gets it, or they get frauded again.
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Jan 10, 2024 20:29
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Ravus Ursus posted:We got mail today that told me I needed to contact a Canadian lawyer to collect my inheritance from my father's estate. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth: someone in Canada died, and you stand to benefit!
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Jan 10, 2024 20:49
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You say that, but after sending tens of thousands of dollars to that Canadian Prince over a couple years I'm starting to think they may not be on the up and up. Very polite though.
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Jan 10, 2024 20:51
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Hold on. Are you being asked to do the needful at any point?
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Jan 10, 2024 20:54
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Takes No Damage posted:
There were a bunch of patients that died in a hospital in like boston? from this exact thing. Immunocompromised patients can get completely fuckin wrecked by poo poo like this. https://arstechnica.com/science/202...gation%20found.
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Jan 10, 2024 20:55
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Space Kablooey posted:Fax machines are cool because you get to waste someone else's paper, ink and printing time for spam that you send. It's better than spam marketing calls because they might not get the option to just stop getting their time wasted by hanging up. With the very old school fax machines that used large rollers in their inputs, what you could do was take an entirely black piece of paper, feed it through, tape the ends together to form a loop, and then fax it to somebody after hours. So by the time their office opened they had used up all of their paper and toner, all for the cost of a single phone call.
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Jan 10, 2024 21:29
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holy poo poo to that hospital ice maker. i was the event manager at a venue and CONSTANTLY had to ride the bar managers rear end to keep the ice machine up to par but i guess i took a hospitality gig way too late in life, cuz I talked to that bar manager in a bit of a tone I would when an arborist would do something dangerous in my old career. and then suddenly im the Not Chill Guy on management
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Jan 10, 2024 21:36
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Everett False posted:Anyway here's a cool fax we got today. That has the same vibe as this, highly recommended "Sovereign Citizen" case. Volmarias posted:For those who haven't seen it, but actually weirdly enjoy otherwise dry reading, you may wish to read Meads v. Meads, the canonical "judge is sick of this sovcit poo poo" ruling. There's also a follow up about how that's turned out for judges who want to use the ruling to short circuit the bullshit. peanut fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Jan 11, 2024 |
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Jan 10, 2024 22:24
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I unfortunately expect there's a reason for that.
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Jan 11, 2024 02:15
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peanut posted:That has the same vibe as this, highly recommended "Sovereign Citizen" case. Thank you so much for this. I knew this was gonna be good but i saw the Wesley Snipes bit and had to take a pause to collect myself. I love this poo poo.
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Jan 11, 2024 02:44
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Breetai posted:With the very old school fax machines that used large rollers in their inputs, what you could do was take an entirely black piece of paper, feed it through, tape the ends together to form a loop, and then fax it to somebody after hours. So by the time their office opened they had used up all of their paper and toner, all for the cost of a single phone call. Incredible.
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Jan 11, 2024 03:14
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Rawrbomb posted:I ended up never touching a fax machine or printer for work again. Gosh I wish that was me
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Jan 11, 2024 03:20
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I ruined the IT intern's life by telling all the boomer coworkers that he is a printer repair expert.
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Jan 11, 2024 03:23
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McGavin posted:I ruined the IT intern's life by telling all the boomer coworkers that he is a printer repair expert. 
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Jan 11, 2024 03:45
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Further conversations around the plant reveal that it isn’t the personal vendetta they have with me that’s got the last HR person trying to revoke our OT pay, it’s the brainchild of my immediate boss, who doesn’t like: 1. That he’s having to pay extra to have some of us come in on the weekend to do his Monday meeting prep work for him (he, uh, didn’t exactly phrase it this way) 2. He’s jealous we get it and he doesn’t. (He literally said it was unfair) 3. He thinks the work week should be 50 hours as a bare minimum. E: I’ve got to find another job
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Jan 11, 2024 03:56
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McGavin posted:I ruined the IT intern's life by telling all the boomer coworkers that he is a printer repair expert. Dude...
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Jan 11, 2024 04:09
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Breetai posted:With the very old school fax machines that used large rollers in their inputs, what you could do was take an entirely black piece of paper, feed it through, tape the ends together to form a loop, and then fax it to somebody after hours. So by the time their office opened they had used up all of their paper and toner, all for the cost of a single phone call. IIRC, Anonymous did this to Scientology offices across the US when it was trendy.
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Jan 11, 2024 04:43
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peanut posted:That has the same vibe as this, highly recommended "Sovereign Citizen" case. I wonder if at any point in the writing of that, the judge reflected on *why* it is so easy for so many people to believe that the legal system is a complex, arbitrary network unrelated to reality or common sense in which success or failure hinges on the correct incantations?
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Jan 11, 2024 04:51
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Atopian posted:I wonder if at any point in the writing of that, the judge reflected on *why* it is so easy for so many people to believe that the legal system is a complex, arbitrary network unrelated to reality or common sense in which success or failure hinges on the correct incantations? Yes, chapter 4.
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Jan 11, 2024 05:47
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Ha, nice.
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Jan 11, 2024 06:12
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Whole org (4000+) got an email with the subject line “*company we work for* is closing down!” and absolute loving anarchy ensued. They’re changing some partner program and the email was triggered by their system as a heads up that our account with that partner is closing down, lol.
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Jan 11, 2024 09:19
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History Comes Inside! posted:Whole org (4000+) got an email with the subject line “*company we work for* is closing down!” and absolute loving anarchy ensued. Goddamn, that's art.
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Jan 11, 2024 14:51
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All hands meeting today to announce that the new CEO has been "terminated immediately" and that the founding director will be taking over again. Third CEO in two years. This latest one lasted 6 months and the only noticeable thing he did was change the logo from blue to green. Lots of talks about sustainability and wind power considering that we're an oil and gas contractor. Turnover is so high that we have almost no one left who actually knows what they are doing. Company ran on people and scaled massively in its first few years without proper procedure and documentation in place. People left, training is poor so we've got brain drain that gets worse with every iteration of the people getting ground down and leaving. As people leave, positions don't get filled so folks get spread thin and burn out. Director plans to "steady the ship" by closing down the city office and moving everyone down to the workshop that has very little room and no public transport access. It's going to decimate the project management and design teams, mood is foul all around. After the move it'll be the 5th time I've had to rebuild my team essentially from scratch and I'm pretty over it. I've got solid job security as the director thinks I'm magic and desperately wants to keep me but there's gotta be a limit. The trick as always is to disconnect and not give a gently caress about the disfunction but I struggle to not try to fix things. I just wanna play with scan data and model things
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Jan 11, 2024 17:13
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Holy poo poo literal greenwashing
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Jan 11, 2024 17:54
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McGavin posted:I ruined the IT intern's life by telling all the boomer coworkers that he is a printer repair expert. this is violence.
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Jan 11, 2024 18:02
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Abongination posted:All hands meeting today to announce that the new CEO has been "terminated immediately" and that the founding director will be taking over again. This is where I'm at, and my place has the same issues with brain drain. My place passed over me as PM for an outside hire. The scuttlebutt from my information network is that the interviewers just wanted a stooge to take the blame for failing projects. Lmao, that ain't me.
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Jan 11, 2024 18:02
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McGavin posted:I ruined the IT intern's life by telling all the boomer coworkers that he is a printer repair expert. My God, what did he do to you to deserve this?
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Jan 11, 2024 18:21
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 18:39 |
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It was either him or me.
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Jan 11, 2024 18:34
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