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devmd01 posted:Anyone have some good resources for helping a 6yo with expressing his anger appropriately? He is a pretty good kid but recently we’ve been having more issues with him hauling off and hitting his siblings when he gets angry at them. It’s always an instant reaction type thing, we can’t get ahead of it even if we are in the same room. Do you talk to your kids often about identifying their emotions? That can be really helpful with learning emotional regulation. It can be tough to do intuitively if you haven’t been raised to identify and talk about your own emotions, but it’s definitely doable! We bought a feelings chart for our daughter when she was really young. When there were tantrums, anger, sadness, even positive emotions, we would talk about what she was feeling with the chart. When it’s a difficult emotion, being able to point to a feeling and name it is helpful. Then you can normalize said emotion, and talk about it. You can then help lead them to what to do with that emotion. “It’s ok to be angry. I get angry sometimes, too. What can you do to make yourself feel better if you’re feeling angry?” Just a thought! It’s worked well for us.
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Jan 9, 2024 11:28
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:
We're trying to do this with our almost 3 year old but are finding its really difficult. We try to talk about it when she's tantruming but all she wants to do is scream and cry and say the same thing over and over again. We say this stuff to her but at least it doesn't seem like anything is getting through.
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Jan 9, 2024 14:42
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In my experience it helps to try and talk about it when things aren't so heated.
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Jan 9, 2024 14:46
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Renegret posted:I think the problem with electronic toys are pretty universal to most kids. They do a thing, you push a button, the thing happens, you're done. Once you get bored of thing the toy is useless. We have so many garbage electronic toys that just get forgotten about because they're loving boring. Legos and Lincoln logs are classics for a reason, it's no exaggeration to say the possibilities are endless with them. LEGO isn't entirely immune to the problem either. I added a small Technic set to a recent order because I had very fond memories of that line. Those sets used to mostly use bricks and plates that had the standard bumps that you could use to attach whatever and turn, entirely hypothetically of course, an airplane into a flying space city. Now they almost exclusively use smooth pieces that you can only attach standard bricks to using special pins (which the sets only provide enough of to attach included bits). Compare this:  To this:  The result is a much more polished look, but it isn't as fun.
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Jan 9, 2024 14:58
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Yeah by the time the kid is mad it’s too late - it only pisses my son off more if he thinks he’s receiving a lecture. When he’s going aggressive or otherwise out of control, I physically remove him from the situation and just sit with him. If I can sub in a pillow to hit I will, and I will try and narrate his emotions out loud? Then when he’s calmer we can practice our calming techniques, or have him name his emotions, or brainstorm what happened and what other things we can do. We’ve been doing it for a long time, and that combined with his mindfulness has reduced hitting and increased the number of times he screams I’M SO MAD!!!! and stomps away.
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Jan 9, 2024 15:23
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Shifty Pony posted:LEGO isn't entirely immune to the problem either. Yeah I do agree with you on that. What my kid and I imagine most kids want is a big bucket of assorted bricks to go wild on, but I do acknowledge that's not how you make money as as a company. It's annoying. Too many super specific specialty pieces to just buy a bunch of sets and throw them all in a bucket. There's also a lot of pressure to not disassemble sets or mix sets because then you'll never be able to actually reassemble it. My little man just wants to build a big square house and I don't want to have to supervise building a rocket ship because that's what we're being told we have to do. The best I've figured out are a few sets of these things but it's still too many obscure specialty pieces and not enough bog standard 2x4 bricks. https://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Classic...5&sr=8-100&th=1
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Jan 9, 2024 15:45
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I've been thinking of doing the three potty training no diaper/pants crash course over the coming long weekend with my 2.5 Year old. She's interested in the potty, likes flushing, and tries to wash her hands so I think she's ready. Anyone have a good or bad experience doing it? She's non verbal but obviously understands words when spoken to and gestures to what she wants/needs quite well. It'll be tough watching for body language instead of listening for cue words though tbh.
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Jan 9, 2024 16:08
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We moved yesterday and the kids, almost 3 and almost 5, have to share a room for a couple nights while we wait for the floor to dry in one’s bedroom. They were wiiiide awake at 5 talking, playing, and generally being quite rowdy and it was almost cute but oh boy if I could make poly cure faster I sure would.
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Jan 9, 2024 17:53
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loving three month sleep regression
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Jan 9, 2024 20:39
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Slaan posted:I've been thinking of doing the three potty training no diaper/pants crash course over the coming long weekend with my 2.5 Year old. She's interested in the potty, likes flushing, and tries to wash her hands so I think she's ready. Anyone have a good or bad experience doing it? Does she sign at all? Like, you could teach her a hand signal for ”poop” as a start. Other than that warning, I think verbal communication is not really that important in potty training. Good luck have fun!
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Jan 9, 2024 20:46
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Chillmatic posted:In my experience it helps to try and talk about it when things aren't so heated. Yes, this! In the moment you try to normalize the feelings. “I can see you’re very angry. It’s ok to feel angry. It’s not ok to hit.” “Feeling angry is not a fun feeling. I understand. You take all the time you need. I’ll be right here.”
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Jan 9, 2024 21:14
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Good lord, I have received three incident reports this week regarding another kid biting or shoving my son. Are they having freaking toddler fight club in there??
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Jan 10, 2024 00:11
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Renegret posted:Yeah I do agree with you on that. What my kid and I imagine most kids want is a big bucket of assorted bricks to go wild on, but I do acknowledge that's not how you make money as as a company. It's annoying. Too many super specific specialty pieces to just buy a bunch of sets and throw them all in a bucket. There's also a lot of pressure to not disassemble sets or mix sets because then you'll never be able to actually reassemble it. My little man just wants to build a big square house and I don't want to have to supervise building a rocket ship because that's what we're being told we have to do. if you're fine with used, check bricklink https://www.bricklink.com/search.asp?pg=1&colorID=5&itemID=264&sz=10&searchSort=P You can find people selling lots of 50+ used for ~5c per brick, new lego in the box usually works out to 7c piece, and 2x4s direct from lego are 18-20c each.
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Jan 10, 2024 00:24
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dismas posted:loving three month sleep regression sup 1 year sleep regression poo poo is tough...
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Jan 10, 2024 00:30
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remigious posted:Good lord, I have received three incident reports this week regarding another kid biting or shoving my son. Are they having freaking toddler fight club in there?? Is this his first week back after break? Sometimes when my kid goes back the first couple days she has trouble self regulating and goes on a biting spree too, and then she goes back to totally fine
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Jan 10, 2024 15:13
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"There's paint on my finger. There's paint on my finger. DAA DEE, there's paint on my finger!" "Oh!" *wipes it* "NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I LIKED IT!"
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Jan 10, 2024 15:15
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Amid the chaos of me setting up a pump to clear our 2 inches of water in the basement, my son decided that was the perfect moment to help take some ornaments off the Christmas tree. He, of course, dropped and shattered a glass ornament from our honeymoon. Specifically, it was full of pink sand from Bermuda. He then had a meltdown because mommy wasn't able to magically fix shattered glass and she put it in the garbage instead. As a compromise, she swept up all the sand and put it in a clear plastic bauble, then super glued it shut since it doesn't really seal well. Of course, after being told not to touch it, he immediately touched it and super glued his fingers together. We got them separated easy enough, but super glue tends to leave behind a reside that's really hard to get off but will flake off on it's own in time. We covered it with a bandaid to help take his mind off the sensation of the glue being stuck on there, but now he's walking around telling everybody he has 2 broken fingers because of mommy. Yeah we're gonna have CPS knocking at the door today I think. I've been referring to him as a Chaos Gremlin recently and he's really starting to lean into it.
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Jan 10, 2024 15:26
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Brawnfire posted:"There's paint on my finger. There's paint on my finger. DAA DEE, there's paint on my finger!" "Now put the paint back on so I can wipe it off myself!"
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Jan 10, 2024 16:56
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Renegret posted:Amid the chaos of me setting up a pump to clear our 2 inches of water in the basement, my son decided that was the perfect moment to help take some ornaments off the Christmas tree. He, of course, dropped and shattered a glass ornament from our honeymoon. Specifically, it was full of pink sand from Bermuda. oh so just a regular tuesday then?
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Jan 10, 2024 16:58
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One of the twins was incredibly clumsy as a toddler and got lots of bruises, etc for stupid accidents. Thankfully daycare witnessed plenty of it as well!
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Jan 10, 2024 17:07
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Every so often my daycare will helpfully inform me that my kid had an accident and got a bruise, then point out which bruise from the five or so on the rest of her body at any given time.
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Jan 10, 2024 17:35
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My wife kicked out a child from her school because every time the child had an accident report, new bruise, or something like that, the parent would completely flip her poo poo to the point that she was threatening physical violence against the teachers. It also didn't help that the child was known to just make poo poo up, so sometimes the parent was getting mad over things that never happened. Like, imagine getting angry every time your child gets a new bruise to the point of yelling at staff and trying to goad them into a fight. I don't think I'd have the energy to keep that up for more than a few hours. Also a good 1/4 of those bruises are probably my fault.
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Jan 10, 2024 18:10
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devmd01 posted:Anyone have some good resources for helping a 6yo with expressing his anger appropriately? He is a pretty good kid but recently we’ve been having more issues with him hauling off and hitting his siblings when he gets angry at them. It’s always an instant reaction type thing, we can’t get ahead of it even if we are in the same room. If there is an ADHD diagnosis, I would check in about starting/adjusting meds. If not, has there been an evaluation? Getting the right dose of meds makes it far easier to make the right choice in those sorts of situations, according to my kid. Without it they can get in a shame cycle where they know they aren’t supposed to do something, impulsively do it, decide now they are bad and amp their behavior up to 11.
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Jan 10, 2024 18:39
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The school nurse called me after my daughter ran into another kid, got a pink (not bloody) nose, and my kid insisted she didn’t need to leave gym class and wanted to keep playing. If this is the bar for parental contact, I think I’m going to be hearing a lot from the nurse.
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Jan 10, 2024 19:57
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Does anyone else spend far too much time trying to prevent future events from occurring, or try to foresee future problems and mitigate them now? I’m an engineer, and my job is risk management, future proofing and strategy. I’m finding this is bleeding into my life, an unhealthy amount. I.e I want my kids to get good jobs and be able to stand on their own two feet, so what can I do now to manage that - send them to a private school. I want my kids to go to university, so my bonus goes into savings for that event. Both situations feels like I’m spiting the me of today, to try and mitigate a future event which may not occur. I’m trying to provide for my kids in the way my parents provided for me, but with boomer parents they were sorted, I’m a millennial parent with no money, no equity and a tanked economy.
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Jan 10, 2024 22:11
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The absolute best thing you can do to help your kids is to make sure you are capable of supporting yourself in the future in retirement. If you pay for their college but they need to help you out monetarily while you're retired, you're doing everybody a disservice.. Also, there's no guarantee that going to private school or university is going to get them to be successful in life... But you do know you are going to need to stop working someday and you will need money for that.
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Jan 10, 2024 22:39
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sheri posted:The absolute best thing you can do to help your kids is to make sure you are capable of supporting yourself in the future in retirement. I don’t agree with this, there are too many unknowns. I also don’t know enough about the OPs life and financial situation. You definitely need to be saving for retirement, but that doesn’t mean you should do it entirely at the detriment of saving for your kids college. Maybe they don’t go to college, but then that money you saved can be used for something else, including your retirement, or whatever your kids are going to want to do at that age that is not just blow it all on a trip or something. Private school and university are not guarantees, but if you want to do certain careers in life you need university. The problem is you have no idea now knowing what they are going to want to do in the future. I definitely don’t agree that private school is going to guarantee them anything. We are planning on sending our kids to public school when they get to that age. We also have no idea what college costs, government support, etc. are going to look like in 15+ years. I wouldn’t hold my breath over it but things could get easier or worse when it comes to the financial burden. You just can’t know right now. For us, we are putting $200 a month in a PA529 program which is the Pennsylvania savings program for kids who may someday go to college or may do something else. I don’t think you need to save much necessarily, and it can definitely be less than we are putting in, but I would save something if you can.
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Jan 11, 2024 00:17
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20 week ultrasound tech: one kidney is a bit larger than the other. Nothing major, will probably resolve on its own. We’ll do a quick follow up to confirm it’s in tolerance. 3 years later: Vesicoureteral reflux and hydronephrosis kidney hits us with an RKO out of nowhere. Holding a screaming 3yo with an iron bladder down on an X-ray table while cajoling them to pee is quite the experience. Somehow she heard and remembered the 4 different treats we promised during the ordeal.
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Jan 11, 2024 04:48
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Sleep training report: CIO is not a hit, but white noise machine and consistency is.
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Jan 11, 2024 12:41
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my son wanted to look at pictures of himself from when he was first born (all the way back in 2020... wow time really flies) and its crazy how those newborn photos both resemble him and also look nothing like him
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Jan 11, 2024 14:54
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That’s something my partner and I have reflected on occasionally. Growing up, unless one of our parents was super organized and/or mega hoarders, we’re lucky to have a few pictures or so from each year, maybe a video. Now that we have phones and online repositories, everything gets stored and organized. I’ll be curious if our kids end up overwhelmed by all the media or if it’s just normal by then.
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Jan 11, 2024 16:18
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"Google Photos? My friends all have million-view social media channels with full immersive video documenting their entire childhood. What am I supposed to do with... *shudder* ...IMAGES?"
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Jan 11, 2024 16:27
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I wonder how this will affect their memories of childhood. We have a decent number of photos and videos of us as kids, at least by the standards of the 80s and 90s, and things I believe to be legitimate first-hand memories are over-represented in their content. In other words, it’s likely that a lot of events I think I remember are actually just memories of me looking at the photo or watching the video recording at some point. Kids growing up with so many more high-resolution and candid records of them will probably see their past in a very different way. I also find it very interesting that newborn recordings of my now almost two year old both look and sound like him, while at the same time appearing totally different. I’m sure this contrast will get more and more interesting the older he gets.
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Jan 11, 2024 16:27
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Brawnfire posted:"Google Photos? My friends all have million-view social media channels with full immersive video documenting their entire childhood. What am I supposed to do with... *shudder* ...IMAGES?" No joke I sometimes show my toddler photos of herself and she says "press the button" and then gets mad because she wants them to move like the videos do
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Jan 11, 2024 16:30
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I wonder if the younger generation will be pissed that we shared their baby photos and intimate family moments so widely and publicly. Personally I keep all social media posts friends only and I would never share those photos with the entire world. I absolutely despise “family bloggers” that have their children’s entire lives on full display.
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Jan 11, 2024 17:49
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remigious posted:I wonder if the younger generation will be pissed that we shared their baby photos and intimate family moments so widely and publicly. Personally I keep all social media posts friends only and I would never share those photos with the entire world. I absolutely despise “family bloggers” that have their children’s entire lives on full display. This is a huge thing with me and it has caused friction with family. We don't put any pictures of our children online, and we ask family members not to either. If they want to throw their photos out all over the internet when they're older that's their business, but it's not my choice to make for them while they're in diapers. edit: We share photos with family of course. We just tell them to not make the grandma facebook blast of their last visit so that people from their church we've never met can click like.
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Jan 11, 2024 17:53
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:This is a huge thing with me and it has caused friction with family. We don't put any pictures of our children online, and we ask family members not to either. If they want to throw their photos out all over the internet when they're older that's their business, but it's not my choice to make for them while they're in diapers. Same. I have a locked family album that only family can see but my dad the amateur photographer is consistently salty I won't let him post photos of my kid to his Facebook
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Jan 11, 2024 18:17
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I ended up getting my parents a digital photo frame that only my wife and I have access to upload photos. Works out great that way and I don’t have to bother with sending them a photo every 10 min (which is what my mom would prefer I do). They get new photos every couple days and it’s a nice little surprise for them.
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Jan 11, 2024 18:44
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It’s fun to go back and look at newborn photos without the haze of newborn emotions. Back then I thought every picture was the cutest thing anyone could ever see. Now it’s more like “yeah my kid was…cute…”
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Jan 11, 2024 18:59
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the 15m old somehow unscrewed a hex bolt from my desk and kept saying uh oh until i got down and looked. then she slapped a sticker on my face. i have been owned
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Jan 11, 2024 19:10
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