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Buttchocks posted:Both of those could be valid euphemisms Anything could be, if you're kinky enough! |
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Jan 13, 2024 18:45
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| # ? May 25, 2024 13:15 |
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That belt attachment that's like 'Hot Sauce Holster. Never be unprepared to add a kick to anything you eat. Perfect for restaurants and dinner parties that don't provide their own.' which are mostly novelty gifts and impulse buys that arrive and the buyer realizes WTF? I can't wear this. Except our hero does wear it. All the time. When he goes out to pick up the mail he straps the bad boy under his coat.* He reasons that if it's sold, and he was given it as a gift, then it must be socially acceptable. When he switches careers and becomes an actor he wears it on screen regardless of the role. New York businessman? Norwegian mountain guide? Competitive skier? Jetski racer? It goes over a suit, under a parka, over Lycra, and on bare skin. *For some reason this is the imagine that made me lol and inspired this post |
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Jan 13, 2024 18:47
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a hot sauce kirpan, if you will |
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Jan 13, 2024 18:54
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They call him... The Tapatio Kid. |
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Jan 13, 2024 18:55
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Requires a Concealed Piri permit. |
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Jan 13, 2024 21:37
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watching twin peaks and realizing that leo johnson, homeowner and entrepreneur, is considered really poor. my how much has changed in 30 years |
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Jan 13, 2024 22:06
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The Voice of Labor posted:watching twin peaks and realizing that leo johnson, homeowner and entrepreneur, is considered really poor. my how much has changed in 30 years homer simpson has a high school diploma and marge doesn't work (except occasionally) and they own a 4 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood but are considered "scraping by"
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Jan 13, 2024 22:31
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Rygar the Barbarian wipes the blood from his eyes, takes a swig of hot sauce, and roaringly rejoins the fray |
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Jan 13, 2024 23:00
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As does Dr Henderson the Trauma Surgeon, and Keith the Inept Butcher. |
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Jan 13, 2024 23:02
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The Voice of Labor posted:watching twin peaks and realizing that leo johnson, homeowner and entrepreneur, is considered really poor. my how much has changed in 30 years |
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Jan 13, 2024 23:04
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An actor who goes to a plastic surgeon to get his eye removed or disfigured because he's really gunning for a Columbo reboot. |
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Jan 14, 2024 06:49
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoenucleation there's an example of this I can't find where all the dudes who were blinded in one eye as infants got rounded up and enlisted into a cyclops brigade. imagine an army unit comprised entirely of peter falk impersonators |
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Jan 14, 2024 07:07
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The Voice of Labor posted:watching twin peaks and realizing that leo johnson, homeowner and entrepreneur, is considered really poor. my how much has changed in 30 years Over the years I have met many people in Europe who took the TV depictions to be realistic and set their expectations accordingly. I met a McDonald's worker who asked how easy it is to get a work visa as a dast food worler because they want a house and a nice car. I told them that's an unrealistic expectations for working retail pretty much anywhere. He actually looked at me like I'm off my rocker and let me know that Phoebe from Friends works at a cafe or something (i dunno I don't watch Friends) and the guy from King of Queens delivers packages. But there is a grain of truth here. I went to an open air museum of a company town here and there was one house provided to the feldscher (kind of a Physician Assistant) and one provided to the equivalent for veteranarians. They were huge and I seriously doubt a full doctor or veteranarian could swing it on a single income today. Not that everything was fine and dandy in those times but at least the homes for workers at this one company town would make modern young professionals jealous of their build quality and square footage. And in our own time there was that US politician that was saying when he was working for minimum wage out of school he made $2 an hour so why are people complaining with what it is currently? And John Oliver I think pointed that that this is more than double than the highest state minimum wage today when you factory in inflation. In some parts of the world we're continuing to move in the wrong direction. While wages have gone up for some due to COVID shortages, this is not always the case. (And lol you have surveys showing like only 6 out of 10 directors in charge of this believe raising wages is a good way to atteact more applicants. Because they failed microeconomics I guess.) Brew Dog is a Scottish brewer that boasted its ethical credentials. One of these was paying a minimum living wage for all employers. Not even a living wage needed to enjoy life. Just a realistic subsistance wage like 20% above the legal minimum. Now they've announced that all new brewery workers will earn the legal minimum like is standard for the industry. Profit number must go up! Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 08:46 on Jan 14, 2024 |
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Jan 14, 2024 08:38
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A man called Dash Rendar providing dramatized educational content in physical fitness, archery, and history. Oh wait, that wasn't a joke. |
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Jan 14, 2024 08:44
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A HR director really, really stresses that there's an archer range out back of the factory. That's the focus of all job posting and promotional materials instead of things like salary and insurance. Really going into detail as to what arrows are available and the history of different kinds of bodkins. |
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Jan 14, 2024 08:49
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Sending Grandma to Tai Chi classes to help with her arthritis but she gets too powerful. edit: This is bad because she becomes famous and then intergalactic toughs come looking for her. "Leave them out of it Zanor, I'm the one you want". edit2: One Punch Gran. edit3: The ebb and flow of this is gran goes to learn Tai Chi. Then she gets too powerful. At first the family tries to cover it up but then granny holds back a train from killing a kid that fell on the tracks. Then a guy comes because he wants to fight her. She dispatches him and this leads to a false victory in the middle of the film. Then the aliens arrive. Her family intervene "But she's just a little old lady" "Do not think you can fool us earthling, we have been watching, we know the grey one's power. Now join us or DIE!" edit4: Plot twist, she willingly joins the galactic cartel and is employed full time subjegating resisting planets. Family gatherings have become very awkward. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Jan 14, 2024 |
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Jan 14, 2024 17:31
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They are all very impressed that she can suplex an entire planet though, so it's all good. |
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Jan 16, 2024 00:53
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more falafel please posted:homer simpson has a high school diploma and marge doesn't work (except occasionally) and they own a 4 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood but are considered "scraping by" lmao this post itself is good enough to be a thread imo
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Jan 16, 2024 02:24
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us in twenty years: "Lol, the Bob's Burgers family has food and shelter and they are considered 'barely scraping by.'" |
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Jan 16, 2024 07:07
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Drink-Mix Man posted:us in twenty years: "Lol, the Bob's Burgers family has food and shelter and they are considered 'barely scraping by.'" not what i meant and you know it lol relax
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Jan 16, 2024 07:54
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Make End’s Meat, a rigorous calisthenic of the buttock |
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Jan 16, 2024 10:12
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more falafel please posted:homer simpson has a high school diploma and marge doesn't work (except occasionally) and they own a 4 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood but are considered "scraping by" frank?! |
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Jan 16, 2024 10:13
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Trying posted:frank?! frank grimes logging onto something awful.com to be jealous of homer simpson's high school diploma sorry i dont have mcbain dot emoji handy
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Jan 16, 2024 10:18
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holding up a sign that says 'will get owned for faves'
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Jan 16, 2024 11:39
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A snowman supremacist organisation called Cold Front. edit: Their derogatory slur against non snowmen is "warmies". edit2: Kill all warmies. Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Jan 16, 2024 |
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Jan 16, 2024 12:50
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Prurient Squid posted:A snowman supremacist organisation called Cold Front. the implications of this are staggering
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Jan 16, 2024 14:34
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Trying to become a drug dealer by taking the slang and euphemisms in rap lyrics seriously Swinging by the BDSM dungeon because that's the only place it seems you can find a real whip. Trying to understand what can possibly be meant by 'Telling fiends on their knees that it kicks like Romo when it's really Reggie Miller'. Or moving your way up from dealing with pretty ladies to dealing with Dan Marino. Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 14:54 on Jan 16, 2024 |
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Jan 16, 2024 14:50
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Prurient Squid posted:A snowman supremacist organisation called Cold Front. a snowman system of superiority based on interpreting the lines of your carrot nose except you can just find and swap carrots to increase your social standing other items as noses are verboten, of course Cold Front makes great strides in admittedly twisted science to enable them to grow crops in even the heaviest of snow and permafrost. A secret campaign is launched seeking the fabled carrot spear of destiny. also bonus bandname: carrot phrenologist RavenousScoot fucked around with this message at 14:57 on Jan 16, 2024
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Jan 16, 2024 14:52
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Bright Bart posted:Trying to become a drug dealer by taking the slang and euphemisms in rap lyrics seriously is this all one person doing it lmao. gilgamesh poo poo
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Jan 16, 2024 15:35
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"you know, calhoun, if you have a child at your age, he'll likely be autistic" "good, then he doesn't have to get vaccinated" |
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Jan 16, 2024 15:37
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calhoun posted:"you know, calhoun, if you have a child at your age, he'll likely be autistic" right lol, there is no autism vaccine
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Jan 16, 2024 15:41
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content: going to clown school in order to eventually masters in big top management
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Jan 16, 2024 15:43
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Ok Mr Calcoun, what are your credentials? *Inhales deeply with furious intent, to loudly roar the loudest honk this board of directors ever heard* |
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Jan 16, 2024 17:01
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Karate Bastard posted:Ok Mr Calcoun, what are your credentials? 
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Jan 16, 2024 17:21
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Throwing my poké bowl at king paimon in disgust as the theme song starts blaring, capturing him instantly. Great, now I have a whole new set of problems. |
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Jan 16, 2024 19:00
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Karate Bastard posted:Throwing my poké bowl at king paimon in disgust as the theme song starts blaring, capturing him instantly. Great, now I have a whole new set of problems.
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Jan 16, 2024 19:03
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xzibit proclaiming "I heard you like poke balls" then throwing a poke bowl on your poke bowl. the poke ball contains a magiccarp |
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Jan 16, 2024 20:22
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inverse vegan who ONLY eats things produced by animals waiting for a cow to regurgitate me a salad got a deal with this one monkey at the zoo, I let him have my extra bananas if he pre-peels me some for the week
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Jan 17, 2024 04:38
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Saving the planet by eating Big Oil execs exclusively. |
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Jan 17, 2024 18:50
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| # ? May 25, 2024 13:15 |
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baka fwocka fwame posted:frank grimes logging onto something awful.com to be jealous of homer simpson's high school diploma d’oh |
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Jan 17, 2024 20:48
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