Who Threadglightninged 2023: The Delay of Destiny

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Who Threadglightninged 2023: The Delay of Destiny

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

I thought the whole point of 28 Days Later was that the "Zombies" were all still alive, just lobotomized to the point where all they could do is vomit blood everywhere and skullfuck anyone within arms reach. They were so pissed they literally couldn't think about eating, meaning they were all going to die out in a few weeks due to starvation, exposure, etc.

In other words, why the gently caress is this getting another sequel?

Maybe they looked at how people responded to covid and figured they could do a movie about people who would intentionally infect themselves to prove zombies aren't real.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 01:28

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# ? May 28, 2024 15:48

joylessdivision: Jun 15, 2013

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

I thought the whole point of 28 Days Later was that the "Zombies" were all still alive, just lobotomized to the point where all they could do is vomit blood everywhere and skullfuck anyone within arms reach. They were so pissed they literally couldn't think about eating, meaning they were all going to die out in a few weeks due to starvation, exposure, etc.

In other words, why the gently caress is this getting another sequel?

You've basically described the end of every horror franchise film that has had multiple sequels. There's always something that allows the monster(s) to come back. And it's usually stupid as hell.

My guess would be the virus is still hidden away somewhere, gets out again and whoops all rage zombies....again.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 01:30

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

joylessdivision posted:

You've basically described the end of every horror franchise film that has had multiple sequels. There's always something that allows the monster(s) to come back. And it's usually stupid as hell.

Oh occasionally, particularly late into a horror series, they just don't even bother with a reason. They know the audince doesn't care why it's back. I did like the one Jason one, where someone digs up Jason body just to make sure he's dead, then jason randomly gets struck by lightening and comes back to life.

That was delightfully stupid.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 01:36

SuperMechagodzilla: Jun 9, 2007; NEWT REBORN

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

I thought the whole point of 28 Days Later was that the "Zombies" were all still alive, just lobotomized to the point where all they could do is vomit blood everywhere and skullfuck anyone within arms reach. They were so pissed they literally couldn't think about eating, meaning they were all going to die out in a few weeks due to starvation, exposure, etc.

In other words, why the gently caress is this getting another sequel?

They kept showing those chimps riot footage for some reason.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 01:45

Tenebrous Tourist: Aug 28, 2008

Couldn�t they have a lab-isolated sample of the virus that is mishandled somehow, leading to a new outbreak?

# ? Jan 16, 2024 02:02

SuperMechagodzilla: Jun 9, 2007; NEWT REBORN

If each zombie lives for a month, then you only need like 340 generations of them.

(Also the second movie established the existence of asymptomatic �carriers�.)

# ? Jan 16, 2024 02:22

joylessdivision: Jun 15, 2013

dr_rat posted:

Oh occasionally, particularly late into a horror series, they just don't even bother with a reason. They know the audince doesn't care why it's back. I did like the one Jason one, where someone digs up Jason body just to make sure he's dead, then jason randomly gets struck by lightening and comes back to life.

That was delightfully stupid.

That was part 6 and Tommy was making sure Jason was dead/having a freak out.

The director was also super open about that movie being consciously silly. It's my favorite of the franchise because it's very aware of what it is, what it's doing and who it's for. Also Jason looks pretty dope, only looking better in part 7 because it was directed by an FX artist who put the details of the previous 4 (Jason is only in 4 of the original 6 movies) incarnations and the damage taken in those movies into the makeup/costume.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 02:27

Grendels Dad: Mar 5, 2011; Popular culture has passed you by.

duz posted:

Maybe they looked at how people responded to covid and figured they could do a movie about people who would intentionally infect themselves to prove zombies aren't real.

28 Years Later: Virus, Shmirus

# ? Jan 16, 2024 05:40

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

The movie will take place in a world where everyone has the rage virus and is just super pissed off all the time, but has learned to force themselves to eat every few days and then go back to raging

# ? Jan 16, 2024 06:16

Asterite34: May 19, 2009

28 Years Later: after the big epidemic, a more mild variant of the Rage Virus has become endemic in the population and now everyone's just sorta pissed off all the time

# ? Jan 16, 2024 07:06

Grendels Dad: Mar 5, 2011; Popular culture has passed you by.

That's just Mayhem, which I thought was a lot of fun.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 07:15

Snowman_McK: Jan 31, 2010

Grendels Dad posted:

That's just Mayhem, which I thought was a lot of fun.

Kind of a lovely ending but yeah a good movie.

the comic, Crossed, which isn't very good, did have a good arc explaining how the problem would stick around. I won't spoil the one clever thing Crossed ever did but it was the +100 arc, written by Alan Moore

# ? Jan 16, 2024 07:44

Grendels Dad: Mar 5, 2011; Popular culture has passed you by.

Snowman_McK posted:

Kind of a lovely ending but yeah a good movie.

the comic, Crossed, which isn't very good, did have a good arc explaining how the problem would stick around. I won't spoil the one clever thing Crossed ever did but it was the +100 arc, written by Alan Moore

Are you sure you're not thinking of The Sadness? Similar premise, just edgier and more extreme.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 07:47

CelticPredator: Oct 11, 2013; 🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

The Sadness was so fun

# ? Jan 16, 2024 08:10

MechanicalTomPetty: Oct 30, 2011; Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me

joylessdivision posted:

You've basically described the end of every horror franchise film that has had multiple sequels. There's always something that allows the monster(s) to come back. And it's usually stupid as hell.

dr_rat posted:

Oh occasionally, particularly late into a horror series, they just don't even bother with a reason. They know the audince doesn't care why it's back. I did like the one Jason one, where someone digs up Jason body just to make sure he's dead, then jason randomly gets struck by lightening and comes back to life.

That was delightfully stupid.

I feel like they kinda reined in the goofy nonsense explanations after the 2000's, the era when everyone went to space. Then we hit the era of remakes, reboots and sequels that arbitrarily ignore 90% of the franchise because I guess Hollywood thinks we're too mature and respectable for that poo poo now (but we're really not, please give us more deranged weirdo poo poo like Malignant please).

IIRC, John Carpenter did a seminar a while back where he talked a bit about the reasoning behind horror movies turning into endless franchises and the answer pretty much boiled down to "people already know what 'insert popular horror movie name here' is all about, so we can cheap the gently caress out on advertising and still expect to get butts in seats for an easy profit, double that if its October".

# ? Jan 16, 2024 08:12

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

Then we hit the era of remakes, reboots and sequels that arbitrarily ignore 90% of the franchise because I guess Hollywood thinks we're too mature and respectable for that poo poo now.

True, but sequels that arbitrarily ignore 90% of the franchise I think have always been a thing to an extent. Writers seem to always be fine with just totally ignoring any movies in a franchise they thought sucked I think (possibly also at the director/producers request as well).

# ? Jan 16, 2024 09:37

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Snowman_McK posted:

Kind of a lovely ending but yeah a good movie.

the comic, Crossed, which isn't very good, did have a good arc explaining how the problem would stick around. I won't spoil the one clever thing Crossed ever did but it was the +100 arc, written by Alan Moore

It wasn�t even that clever and it saddened me to see Moore rolling around in the poo poo pit that was Crossed

# ? Jan 16, 2024 10:25

PriorMarcus: Oct 17, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT BEING ALLERGIC TO POSITIVITY

Professor Shark posted:

It wasn�t even that clever and it saddened me to see Moore rolling around in the poo poo pit that was Crossed

Go on, spoil it. I'll never read any Crossed but I'm intrigued.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 11:00

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Some serial killer practices husbandry on the Crossed and sets up a multigenerational plan where the Crossed will appear in cycles until all of humanity is gone, with the idea that humans will fight back the Crossed and succeed in eliminating most of them, but not all, and after a couple generations the Crossed will become myths and humans complacent, then there will be a burst of Crossed.

Or something like that. It was a really dumb �no happy endings! Everyone is doooooomed!� type thing.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen went off the rails too so I think Moore might have just reached a point in his life where he should have retired.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 11:16

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

The people in the future also speak with a vocab derived from military slang but with some child like approach to things, which makes reading the comics set in that time very frustrating to read when it's just "zombies but not dead just violence and rape"

The villains of the movie the sadness is based on crossed and imo it's a hot mess which appeal to people (who aren't me)

# ? Jan 16, 2024 11:29

CelticPredator: Oct 11, 2013; 🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

It�s got some incredible gore and a few hilarious head explosions

# ? Jan 16, 2024 12:46

Len: Jan 21, 2008; Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

I thought the whole point of 28 Days Later was that the "Zombies" were all still alive, just lobotomized to the point where all they could do is vomit blood everywhere and skullfuck anyone within arms reach. They were so pissed they literally couldn't think about eating, meaning they were all going to die out in a few weeks due to starvation, exposure, etc.

In other words, why the gently caress is this getting another sequel?

the 2007 movie 28 Weeks Later shows that there are carriers who don't get angry and starve to death and that is how the virus spreads

so ya know, probably continuing off of that premise

# ? Jan 17, 2024 00:21

MechanicalTomPetty: Oct 30, 2011; Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me

Len posted:

the 2007 movie 28 Weeks Later shows that there are carriers who don't get angry and starve to death and that is how the virus spreads

so ya know, probably continuing off of that premise

Oh yeah I know all about 28 Weeks Later, I'm mostly just venting at some lovely movie trend since I liked the ending of the original so much.

It just frustrates me whenever they toss the themes and ideas behind something that really didn't need or want a sequel in favor of some inferior follow-up. It doesn't always turn out that way, there's been plenty of great sequels or reboots out there and I'll gladly eat my own words if this one turns out good. It just seems like for every T2 we get, there's like 50 more Genisys' waiting in the wings. At least we sometimes get some hilarious promo shots out of the deal, but that's still not enough to make me drop 15 bucks to see it in theaters.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 06:59

Snowman_McK: Jan 31, 2010

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

Oh yeah I know all about 28 Weeks Later, I'm mostly just venting at some lovely movie trend since I liked the ending of the original so much.

It just frustrates me whenever they toss the themes and ideas behind something that really didn't need or want a sequel in favor of some inferior follow-up. It doesn't always turn out that way, there's been plenty of great sequels or reboots out there and I'll gladly eat my own words if this one turns out good. It just seems like for every T2 we get, there's like 50 more Genisys' waiting in the wings. At least we sometimes get some hilarious promo shots out of the deal, but that's still not enough to make me drop 15 bucks to see it in theaters.

you can't mention that and not post the shoot

I would watch an hour long documentary about the thought process that lead to this shoot and the decision made to publish them. I know EW shoots are always famously bad but this is simply bewildering.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 22:58

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Very funny with the Matt Smith picture seeing as he was barely in the released movie.

# ? Jan 18, 2024 00:17

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

He's the only one that seems to realize how ridiculous it all is. And then he went on to be the villain in Morbius.

# ? Jan 18, 2024 00:19

Pirate Jet: May 2, 2010

Firing a rifle one-handed with your elbow locked out and the muzzle flash photoshopped in. King poo poo.

# ? Jan 18, 2024 00:40

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Pirate Jet posted:

Firing a rifle one-handed with your elbow locked out and the muzzle flash photoshopped in. King poo poo.

Uhh that's clearly a flame thrower or some kind of plasma based weapon sir.

# ? Jan 18, 2024 00:46

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

also no muzzle, his mouth is the one photoshopped!

# ? Jan 18, 2024 01:09

Martman: Nov 20, 2006

muscles like this! posted:

Very funny with the Matt Smith picture seeing as he was barely in the released movie.

He died during the shoot obviously

# ? Jan 18, 2024 01:28

Flying Zamboni: May 7, 2007; but, uh... well, there it is

Martman posted:

He died during the shoot obviously

He's the only one not pointing at the ground, I think he went to jail.

# ? Jan 18, 2024 02:07

Grendels Dad: Mar 5, 2011; Popular culture has passed you by.

Snowman_McK posted:

you can't mention that and not post the shoot

I would watch an hour long documentary about the thought process that lead to this shoot and the decision made to publish them. I know EW shoots are always famously bad but this is simply bewildering.

Matt Smith clearly the evil one, everybody else follows John's request of only shooting kneecaps.

# ? Jan 18, 2024 04:56

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

Snowman_McK posted:

you can't mention that and not post the shoot

I would watch an hour long documentary about the thought process that lead to this shoot and the decision made to publish them. I know EW shoots are always famously bad but this is simply bewildering.

Every time I see these pictures, I can hear them.

_{AHHHH

AAAHHH

AGGGHHH

GRAAAHH}

# ? Jan 18, 2024 07:04

MechanicalTomPetty: Oct 30, 2011; Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me

Snowman_McK posted:

you can't mention that and not post the shoot

I would watch an hour long documentary about the thought process that lead to this shoot and the decision made to publish them. I know EW shoots are always famously bad but this is simply bewildering.

This is one of those things where you can keep coming back to it years later and find some new bizarre detail, like the photoshopped screaming, the angle of the guns, or the fact that they're all throwing down on a random airport tarmac for some reason (for no reason).

# ? Jan 18, 2024 07:54