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Discendo Vox posted:Corporate Megathread: You are in the conference room. A hollow voice says "plugh." Corporate Megathread: It is dark (You have sat still in your cubicle too long). You are likely to be asked if you're working hard or hardly working by a Grue.
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Jan 20, 2024 11:44
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Lockback posted:That's like killing something with vicious mockery in D&D. Not as good, but we had a group chat at a former employer consisting of a few people from different teams that all sat in the same room and was just used to shoot the poo poo all day. One 50 something dude was going hard on some typical IT graybeard libertarian nonsense and my 20 something coworker hit him with an “OK boomer” (years ago, when this all the rage with media writing articles about how this was as bad as the n-word) which led to the dude immediately exiting the group chat and working from home for the next couple of weeks.
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Jan 20, 2024 12:51
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This week I learned I got recommended for a bonus then the next day my primary work location was changed from the office to telework. Both processes were unknown and unrequested by me, and both need to be approved by people 4 steps up the chain, the last of whom I’ve only interacted with once Optimist: My competency is being recognized and the org is doing everything they can to keep me happy and engaged Pessimist: The optimist poo poo never happens unless there’s another shoe dropping. I bet they’re firing/reassigning someone else and giving me their work next week oh god what’s going to go wrong and pull the rug out from under me. Also the telework is a ploy or a mistake somehow I just know it, good things don’t just happen Not a Children fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Jan 20, 2024 |
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Jan 20, 2024 14:00
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That sounds a lot like a reorg or purge they want you on "Team A" for. Not much you can do but if any of your friends say they got a last minute meeting keep refreshing their account in teams
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Jan 20, 2024 16:13
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Atopian posted:You have an OLD GUY, an INTERN, and HR, and your meeting room can only hold one of them at a time. 
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Jan 20, 2024 17:09
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Dango Bango posted:People in my division do something that is really funny to me. In virtual meetings, instead of sharing a PowerPoint file or even their screen with PowerPoint full screen, they share their entire desktop with PowerPoint open in edit mode. Someone very high up did this in a presentation to the client once. It also means you can see the discussion comments on the slides. Nothing bad happened, but I wasn't happy, and I think it's a bit unprofessional to use your tools poorly in an Important Meeting.
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Jan 21, 2024 09:15
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~Coxy posted:Someone very high up did this in a presentation to the client once. I think people do this because they can't figure out how to get the presenter mode to work right on the telecons. Depending on how you've got your stuff set up, sometimes it just puts the audience view on your monitor and blocks all your notes, etc, and then presents that. Google Meet also likes to (for whatever reason) sometimes not update as you go through the slides. You're advancing them on your end, but the presentation view stays stuck on the first slide in the telecon. Hopefully someone's paying attention to tell you this.  I just don't use presenter mode and memorize all my notes or keep them on index cards during telecons to avoid the potential tech challenges.
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Jan 21, 2024 09:22
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Lockback posted:That's like killing something with vicious mockery in D&D. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjlYFWLUDBQ Gotta assume it was some sort of "Poison Womb" level comment. Like commenting on how even with that new convertible and cute girlfriend, death remains inevitable, you're just trying to ignore it instead of embracing it, like your older son did two years ago.
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Jan 21, 2024 10:19
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Just got invited to a 2 day, 8 hour long workshop starting in 20 minutes. Yeah that's a no from me dawg
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Jan 22, 2024 15:04
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TIL that undo/redo applies to changes made by anyone, not just you, in a shared Google doc. This applies even when you’re suggesting, not editing. I learned this by accidentally undoing an entire many changes made by a Director after trying to reverse an accidental typo and wondering why it wasn’t working.
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Jan 22, 2024 20:28
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Renegret posted:Just got invited to a 2 day, 8 hour long workshop starting in 20 minutes. 20 min notice is stupid as hell, but I'll be honest and say there are definitely times I wish I could shove all the required parties into one room for 8+ hours and just solve some poo poo. It can definitely be useful for complicated investigations into process failures. Everyone in the room for the RCA stuff, then whenever you hit a point where you need SME information, you either excuse that member to go get it or have them ping another teammember to grab the info. Fill the room with snacks and a catered lunch (and also tell people they can leave and go wherever during lunch; they probably have to catch up on the last 3-4 hours of poo poo they missed in their real departments). Then about an hour before the end of the work day you excuse everyone with action items for the next day re: what information is still missing to pick up tomorrow. Everyone feels like it's a waste of time to all be stuck in the room working on it together, but given how much time gets wasted waiting for people to read their e-mails, respond to questions, deprioritize your poo poo over (insert the latest fire here), etc etc, it actually saves a ton of time in my experience. Nearly impossible to do unless it's impacting commercial release, though. Literal present-day $$$ impact that can clearly be pointed at is about the only thing that'll get management to agree to let you monopolize their resources for a few days.
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Jan 22, 2024 21:01
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Another week, another chance to be a pain in the rear end by arguing about metrics again. Every time this comes up I say the same thing: the only data we have is a crude proxy for how long a thing takes, but you know nothing about why it took that long because we have no way to record that in the current system. Also, the time it might take is not predictable for a given case and can range from weeks to more than a year. What they want is metrics to produce a chart that they can "report on progress on and implement SLAs", but you can't do this any meaningful way because the time for case A has no relation to the time for case B. They're all discrete events! And, just because B is taking 1+ year, it doesn't mean you're going to can it because it might just flat take that long to negotiate! Every week this comes up. I think today I got a tacit admission that this was purely theatre to produce a PowerPoint slide, but I will continue to bang this drum. Atopian posted:You have an OLD GUY, an INTERN, and HR, and your meeting room can only hold one of them at a time. >>>Jump into river
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Jan 22, 2024 22:08
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:Another week, another chance to be a pain in the rear end by arguing about metrics again. I get this regularly as well. It stinks of "I have no idea what it is that you do, but surely it can't be that hard and you are either incompetent or hiding something if you can't just give me beep boop numbers for my graph." I recently responded to a similar conversation about my opex as "if you think it's expensive when I've staffed enough to get this work done jkust wait untril you find how how expensive things get when it's not being done." (parts of my org are literally 24x7 fraud operations and telco regulatory operations, two things that can make a quarter million dollars a day go *poof* if nobody's at the wheel when the wrong series of events occur)
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Jan 22, 2024 22:17
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Wife's HR has decided their primary job is to organize parties and "informational events". Yesterday was a cooking show. Today is financial literacy. Main bullet point is literally "save more than you spend". Others are "pay off your debt in a reasonable amount of time". "maintain good credit". These are paid outside presenters, not like "Jim from accounting volunteered to do this over lunch to practice his presentation skills". Bonuses and raises have been thin on the ground for years and years. They just had a round of layoffs. She went to find the latest "official career path" slides to know what to push for this year, and HR is acting like they never existed, lol.
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Jan 22, 2024 22:19
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Is the intended take-away not "it's [her] job to make them?"
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Jan 22, 2024 23:08
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My HR freaked me out last week when they changed my status from remote to on-site. My manager and director told me to ignore it and keep on doing what I’m doing
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Jan 23, 2024 00:30
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Motronic posted:I get this regularly as well. It stinks of "I have no idea what it is that you do, but surely it can't be that hard and you are either incompetent or hiding something if you can't just give me beep boop numbers for my graph." I think there's some of this (though not from all) and a big chunk of "well if we get the numbers then we will have ~~insights~~ and therefore", but you might as well just take a semi educated guess on how long something will take and do a big shrug when you're wrong. Also I bet you've also had "well the important thing is that my process/outcome/management reports look the way I want them to, so you need to give me the information to do that by changing your process" which I see a lot as well.
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Jan 23, 2024 01:02
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Hotel Kpro posted:My HR freaked me out last week when they changed my status from remote to on-site. My manager and director told me to ignore it and keep on doing what I’m doing Good news! You’re now non-compliant with company policy.
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Jan 23, 2024 01:06
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dpkg chopra posted:Good news! You’re now non-compliant with company policy. Yeah do not ignore this. Climb down HRs throat and stab em from the inside until they fix this.
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Jan 23, 2024 04:17
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Barudak posted:Yeah do not ignore this. Climb down HRs throat and stab em from the inside until they fix this. That's something their boss or possibly even grandboss would have to do. But it should be done.
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Jan 23, 2024 04:41
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dpkg chopra posted:Good news! You’re now non-compliant with company policy. Yeah, this feels like step 1 in a 3-step, ~6-month process that ends with giving you the choice "accept worse working conditions or leave without severance".
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Jan 23, 2024 05:22
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Eric the Mauve posted:That's something their boss or possibly even grandboss would have to do. But it should be done. Dear Boss, Per our conversation, I am continuing to work remotely. Please follow up with HR to correct my status in the payroll system. Sincerely, Don't-Fire-Me CC: HR Skip level
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Jan 23, 2024 05:23
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You’ll all get twisted over weird poo poo
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Jan 23, 2024 05:44
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CarForumPoster posted:You’ll all get twisted over weird poo poo That's because of that old adage: only trust your fists, HR will never help you.
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Jan 23, 2024 05:47
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CarForumPoster posted:You’ll all get twisted over weird poo poo Look at this guy who's never been hosed in the rear end by work.
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Jan 23, 2024 06:06
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What good will come from making any more of a stink? OP talked to boss and skip level. If he goes saying poo poo to HR he fucks himself and his boss over in the worst case. Also if it’s in the USA he’s prob at will anyway. Sure send a CYA email to your boss if the statement to ignore it came by voice from them Keep HR in the dark tho dummies don’t go fuckin telling the cops on yourself CarForumPoster fucked around with this message at 06:24 on Jan 23, 2024 |
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Jan 23, 2024 06:21
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CarForumPoster posted:What good will come from making any more of a stink? OP talked to boss and skip level. If he goes saying poo poo to HR he fucks himself and his boss over in the worst case. Also if it’s in the USA he’s prob at will anyway. Sure send a CYA email to your boss if the statement to ignore it came by voice from them I'm inclined to agree with this, although it's gonna be 90% situation dependent. Having even the one-sided email to the boss is way better than just a verbal agreement though, speaking as someone who has had way too many new bosses magically appear as soon as something is said like "I'll make it up to you next year" or even better "in the merger I put you down as an XXX so I can give you an easy promotion and a better raise next year".
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Jan 23, 2024 06:35
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CarForumPoster posted:Keep HR in the dark tho dummies don’t go fuckin telling the cops on yourself Yeah my read is boss is allowing it to happen to hit some required executive metric but doesn't actually care what happens in practice. Which just yells to lay low.
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Jan 23, 2024 07:19
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New hobby: When I'm sick, I'm going to tell people to speak with my backup if they need my deliverables to progress while I'm out. Because there isn't one. There never is. 
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Jan 23, 2024 08:09
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Sundae posted:New hobby: When I'm sick, I'm going to tell people to speak with my backup if they need my deliverables to progress while I'm out. A new twist on the "taste the soup" joke, I like it.
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Jan 23, 2024 08:15
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rafikki posted:Not as good, but we had a group chat at a former employer consisting of a few people from different teams that all sat in the same room and was just used to shoot the poo poo all day. One 50 something dude was going hard on some typical IT graybeard libertarian nonsense and my 20 something coworker hit him with an “OK boomer” (years ago, when this all the rage with media writing articles about how this was as bad as the n-word) which led to the dude immediately exiting the group chat and working from home for the next couple of weeks. I'm a 50-something greybeard and I'd buy that 20-something lunch for beating me to it. Sundae posted:Because there isn't one. There never is. Start quietly listing your boss as your deputy on things. Schedule a 2-week vacation around when something important will expire and you or your deputy will have to take action. Take a screenshot of that resource before your vacation starts. Sundae posted:I just don't use presenter mode and memorize all my notes or keep them on index cards during telecons to avoid the potential tech challenges. I cheat. The deck is both my outline and my notes. So long as I can see it, my audience is hearing what I intended them to hear. I do make decks that are jam packed with information, but those are decks I don't plan on presenting. Some kinds of documentation work really well in deck format. Basically this, but for people who read slides to you. 
mllaneza fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Jan 23, 2024 |
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Jan 23, 2024 08:35
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CarForumPoster posted:What good will come from making any more of a stink? OP talked to boss and skip level. If he goes saying poo poo to HR he fucks himself and his boss over in the worst case. Also if it’s in the USA he’s prob at will anyway. Sure send a CYA email to your boss if the statement to ignore it came by voice from them Where I work HR is the only one that knows if I’m in the office or not. My entire team works in other states and could not care less where I work, but HR is the one tracking badge swipes and plays truant officer if I’m not on site three days a week. Everyone in my chain of command up to the VP could tell me to stay home and HR would still be on my case about it.
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Jan 23, 2024 12:53
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:Also I bet you've also had "well the important thing is that my process/outcome/management reports look the way I want them to, so you need to give me the information to do that by changing your process" which I see a lot as well. Absolutely. And I usually respond with something along the lines of "our work is scheduled and tracked in <comany_system>(Jira). That is not captured there, so we're unable to provide it unless and until that becomes supported and part of the workflow."
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Jan 23, 2024 17:09
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CarForumPoster posted:What good will come from making any more of a stink? OP talked to boss and skip level. If he goes saying poo poo to HR he fucks himself and his boss over in the worst case. Also if it’s in the USA he’s prob at will anyway. Sure send a CYA email to your boss if the statement to ignore it came by voice from them Yeah, I'd be pissed if I was like "Hey, I'm going to quietly exempt you from this thing you don't want to do, here your grandboss is also ok" and then have you go run to HR to tattle. THAT would be creating a problem. Deadite posted:Where I work HR is the only one that knows if I’m in the office or not. My entire team works in other states and could not care less where I work, but HR is the one tracking badge swipes and plays truant officer if I’m not on site three days a week. Everyone in my chain of command up to the VP could tell me to stay home and HR would still be on my case about it. So if HR has a problem they'll go to your boss and then deal with it then. Or if your HR has some carte blanche to meddle with the business over mandates then your HR is wagging the dog and even more reason to never engage with them.
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Jan 23, 2024 17:27
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Lockback posted:So if HR has a problem they'll go to your boss and then deal with it then. Or if your HR has some carte blanche to meddle with the business over mandates then your HR is wagging the dog and even more reason to never engage with them. They kind of do. The threat was that if you aren’t going into the office enough it could effect your raise and bonus, and since HR has the final say on those it could happen without your manager’s consent or maybe even knowledge. So even if you surpassed all of your goals, if you did it from home you might still end up without a bonus. We’ll find out next month whether that actually happened though.
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Jan 23, 2024 18:05
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CarForumPoster posted:You’ll all get twisted over weird poo poo Nah man, you’ve worked for most of your recent times in small outfits. Sometimes, it is the wacky low level poo poo like company policy noncompliance, signed off by a boss verbally, that can lead to some real dumb stuff later on including firing. I agree it’s not something to be ignored. Agreed with your clarification though, it should be dealt with somehow but directly notifying HR should probably be avoided whenever possible. Since you are notifying them of noncompliance 
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Jan 23, 2024 18:33
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I would absolutely raise a stink if my status was changed from remote to in office. Maybe not go to hr but at least have a candid discussion with my boss about my concerns and the implications. I’ve seen this happen to people at my company, except they closed a bunch of small offices so it effectively gave them cause to fire a bunch of people for non-compliance.
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Jan 23, 2024 19:12
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So I think the intent of what HR was doing was getting a better feel for where employees actually are. I wasn’t the only one hit with this email, we have a team of biomed guys in the more mountainous part of the state who got the same thing. Since all of us show up to different on-site locations HR wanted it documented somewhere that we’re on site. As far as I know they’re going to keep paying for our commute time since none of us have a designated hospital home location
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Jan 23, 2024 19:22
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All that being said I just want finish my degree and if they do a rug pull it’ll be easier to gtfo
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Jan 23, 2024 19:23
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My wife’s employer has announced they’re cutting back on office snacks. I think we’ll be upping that emergency fund to 6 months.
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Jan 24, 2024 01:27
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