Sumo: Through Banana Canada, we have all now vicariously been to Meatland. (page 68)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Sumo: Through Banana Canada, we have all now vicariously been to Meatland. (page 68)

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Shodai?
	Shodai
	SHODAI

Paying2Lurk: Sep 15, 2023; I'd take a bullet
for a bud any day.

He ain't his dad, but he is his daddy.

# ? Jan 31, 2024 02:01

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# ? May 29, 2024 17:51

pseudodragon: Jun 16, 2007

Official from JSA twitter

https://twitter.com/sumokyokai/status/1752481472081252628?s=20

Translated:

quote:

<New Ozeki! Kotonowaka>
Today, January 31st, we held a banzuke organization meeting and an extraordinary board meeting for the March tournament, and it was decided that Kotonowaka would be promoted to ozeki.

No word on the name change yet.

Also the fish and 2 proud Kotonowakas

https://twitter.com/sumokyokai/status/1752508901533348270?s=20

# ? Jan 31, 2024 02:49

Thauros: Jan 29, 2003

idk how much of this is just fan speculation but peolpe on twitter were saying he may put off the name change until winnng his first yusho

# ? Jan 31, 2024 02:57

Medenmath: Jan 18, 2003

Very happy for Quadzeki Kotonowaka

Is it March yet? :f5:

# ? Jan 31, 2024 03:36

wodin: Jul 12, 2001; What do you do with a drunken Viking?

Thauros posted:

idk how much of this is just fan speculation but peolpe on twitter were saying he may put off the name change until winnng his first yusho

He talked about it in an interview before the tournament, though not specifically the "win a yusho" condition, just that he might do some tournaments as Kotonowaka before switching.

Medenmath posted:

Very happy for Quadzeki Kotonowaka

One of my friends calls him "boob thorax" and I can't unsee it.

# ? Jan 31, 2024 04:48

Apraxin: Feb 22, 2006; General-Admiral

https://twitter.com/sumokyokai/status/1752493551202738262four juryo promotions this time, all returning - Wakatakage, obviously, plus Hakuoho, Tsushimanada, and... Kitaharima

dunno if anyone here will remember the last guy. he was an extremely unspectacular juryo regular a decade ago, racked up 24 basho there and 1 more in makuuchi before falling back into makushita in 2017. made one last juryo appearance in 2020, for salaried-rank basho number 26, two short of the minimum needed for a kabu.

he struggled along in makushita for the last few years, falling lower and lower until last september, aged 37, he fell back into sandanme for the first time in 15 years. time to hang up the belt and retire by everyone's estimation, but he did this instead:

second-oldest man ever to get a juryo promotion. he's probably going to get annihilated in march, and even if he makes it to 28 salaried basho i very much doubt there's a kabu waiting for him, but hell, what a story

# ? Jan 31, 2024 04:50

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

I would like to draft Hakuoho now

# ? Jan 31, 2024 05:30

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Sorry final results haven't been posted yet, I watched the final day live and then broke with COVID lol. I'm feeling better and should get everything reconciled by tomorrow.

Lid posted:

I would like to draft Hakuoho now

Done.

# ? Jan 31, 2024 07:45

Fearless: Sep 3, 2003; DRINK MORE MOXIE

Kenning posted:

Sorry final results haven't been posted yet, I watched the final day live and then broke with COVID lol. I'm feeling better and should get everything reconciled by tomorrow.

Done.

COVID sucks. Take the time you need to rest; the standings can wait.

# ? Jan 31, 2024 08:08

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

This was a really fun basho, I wish IRL junk hadn't made me take an extra few days to catch up to it and I had been following along live.

Special shoutout to Banana Canada for their efforts in making sure ~~i didn't finish dead last in juryo~~ the scoreboards are accurate, and also a nice :lol:

for Takayasu going kyujo, getting auto-replaced for most of us (myself included) by Ura, only to come back, dump Ura on his head & immediately go back kyujo.

# ? Jan 31, 2024 13:26

OneSizeFitsAll: Sep 13, 2010; Du bist mein Sofa

I enjoyed watching my second tournament just as much as my first - actually the fantasy sumo added a little extra element, which was nice. Thank you Kenning for your work putting all of that together.

Also thank you for giving me Terunofji over my first choice Kirishima! Apart his yusho, the way he manhandled Kirishima in their match, wow. Yokozuna demonstrating why he's a yokozuna.

Great to see kotonowaka get his promotion. He's looked seriously hard to beat both the bashos I've watched.

Looks like I've definitely been sucked into this sumo thing. Looking forward to the next one already.

# ? Jan 31, 2024 13:37

Count Thrashula: Jun 1, 2003; Death is nothing compared to vindication.; Buglord

I'm getting into Sumo and looking to start with the March tournament by getting caught up on the January tournament.

Looks like most of the Youtube channels mentioned in the first post are gone now, is there a new good channel where I can rewatch the January tournament with commentary for me, an idiot?

# ? Jan 31, 2024 17:28

pseudodragon: Jun 16, 2007

Count Thrashula posted:

I'm getting into Sumo and looking to start with the March tournament by getting caught up on the January tournament.

Looks like most of the Youtube channels mentioned in the first post are gone now, is there a new good channel where I can rewatch the January tournament with commentary for me, an idiot?

If you are looking to get caught up, the NHK site is probably your best bet. https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/tv/sumo/
Their only issue is that they are slow with uploads so for us degens looking to watch right away, we need to go to unofficial sources, but the NHK site has everything else you need and there's no need to support weirdo sites.

pseudodragon fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Jan 31, 2024

# ? Jan 31, 2024 17:50

Helianthus Annuus: Feb 21, 2006; can i touch your hand; Grimey Drawer

NHK will delete its videos on Feb 12, so watch them before then. If you need, they can be downloaded using yt-dlp

# ? Jan 31, 2024 18:17

Helianthus Annuus: Feb 21, 2006; can i touch your hand; Grimey Drawer

Kenning posted:

Sorry final results haven't been posted yet, I watched the final day live and then broke with COVID lol. I'm feeling better and should get everything reconciled by tomorrow.

hope you recover all the way, looking forward to the post. thanks again for running fantasy sumo.

Banana Canada posted:

and thank you for your input during fantasy mono-ii and your results visualizations

for now, i will dedicate myself to preparing for the next tournament. :hai:

# ? Jan 31, 2024 18:28

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Thanks for the well-wishes everyone, glad to finally be getting the results out.

@Banana Canada as always, your tracker is invaluable. It helped to double-check my scores against, and that's the best. Also, to clarify, I want the juryo scores to be treated as actual points, so it'll actually increment scores by .5 points each for a KK or a yusho. The juryo winners are also another tie-breaker to use if needs be, although I hope the extra swing will make that less necessary. Also, as a final note, it looks like you credited Kotonowaka for 2 sansho, but he only won the gino-sho. The shukun-sho was contingent on him winning the yusho which, alas, he failed to do. Thanks again for being the fantasy shimpan department.

Final Results

Makuuchi

code:

69.5	Vargatron
66.5	Saturnine Aberrance
65.5	Khizan
64.5	Kenning
62	Lid
62	Thauros
60	Ben Nerevarine
59.5	anakha
59.5	MalarkeyToboggan
59	pseudodragon
58.5	Tiny Bug Child
57.5	bessantj
57.5	Teddybear
57	Iron Chef Nex
55.5	Helianthus Annuus
54	Robviously
52.5	Everyones Favorite Poster
52	Average Lettuce
52	Jobbo_Fett
52	NuclearPotato
52	ullerrm
51.5	MyChemicalImbalance
50.5	Pakled
50	Chinook
50	Ice Phisherman
49	captainblastum
48.5	Marching Powder
48	Fearless
48	whats for dinner
46	Banana Canada
44.5	Brut
43.5	Netsky
41	Communist Thoughts
38.5	Crusty Nutsack
37.5	NTRabbit
32	Fluffdaddy
28	bartolimu
25	Xerzes

Juryo

code:

77	Nativity In Black
73	Kennedy
71.5	Flinger
71.5	OneSizeFitsAll
66	Liquid Communism
66	Samuel L. Hacksaw
65	Winter Stormer
63	FART BOSS
62	ratmosphere
56.5	Taffy Torpedo
53.5	Boogalo
53.5	Takuan
53	Dead Goon
48.5	Kerrzhe
47	rare Magic card l00k
43.5	ImplicitAssembler
40	Nick Soapdish
38.5	PJ
38	Bentai
38	Kuros
36	Greekonomics
36	Rags to Liches
35.5	Beexoffel
35	Eldoop
35	Single Tight Female
31	CodFishBalls
30	KungFu Grip
27	StupidSexyMothman
26	Medenmath

In a basho defined by kyujo auto-trading, congrats to Vargatron whose early swap to Kotonowaka ensured their cup, although the presence of Onosato and Wakamotoharu on their team certainly didn't hurt. Great team, although RIP to Papa Bear. Down in juryo, Nativity in Black had a beautiful team that got them a yusho, a jun-yusho, a kinboshi, and two special prizes, plus their juryo pick won the yusho as well. One of the finest performances I've ever seen, and even losing (and re-acquiring) Asanoyama didn't really slow them down. Great performance.

Special shout out to Kerrzhe, who had 4 of their 5 makuuchi rikishi go kyujo during the basho, but who still managed to get a respectable 48.5 points, even while keeping both Asanoyama and Hokutofuji. Xerzes, on the other hand, got absolutely handled, getting 3 auto-trades, all of which resulted in double make-koshi, for a crushing 25 point finish. We salute you for showing up on the clay day after day despite the punishment.

On to special prizes! A refresher, these are the special prizes:

Gino-sho/Technique: No make-koshi on your team.
Kanto-sho/Fighting Spirit: Exceptional performance from a low rank, or other acknowledgement of great performance.
Shukun-sho/Outstanding Performance: Getting the highest number of accolades (i.e. kinboshi, yusho/jun-yusho, and sansho) in the field.

So, who are the awardees?

Gino-sho: Saturnine Aberrance, Average Lettuce, Winter Stormer
Kanto-sho: Kerrzhe
Shukun-sho: Nativity in Black

Great basho, thanks again to everyone who plays, and I'm already looking forward to Haru.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 08:20

Kerrzhe: Nov 5, 2008

i am most grateful for this honor. i am pleased to have succeeded with my style of sumo and will continue to strive for a winning score next basho.

thank you again for running, Kenning!

# ? Feb 2, 2024 09:45

Khizan: Jul 30, 2013

Congrats to Vargatron, who claims his second yusho.

code:

3/20: 	sivad
5/20: 	=CANCELED DUE TO COVID=
7/20: 	Thauros
9/20: 	Fluffdaddy & MalarkeyToboggan
11/20: 	Khizan
1/21:	Brut
3/21:	captainblastum
5/21:	Vargatron
7/21: 	captainblastum(M)		TwoWord Name(J)
9/21:	BananaCanada(M)			CrustyNutsack(J)
11/21:	sivad(M)			Takuan(J)
1/22:	Tiny Bug Child(M)		Memento(J)
3/22:	Teddybear(M)			NuclearPotato(J)
5/22:	Banana Canada(M)		Saturnine Aberrance(J)
7/22:	EveryonesFavoritePoster(M)	Fluffdaddy(J)
9/22:	scripterror(M)			ilmucche(J)
11/22:	Fluffdaddy(M)			Brut(J)
1/23: 	Khizan(M)			Robviously(J)
3/23:	Thauros & TinyBugChild(M)	Gaghskull(J)
5/23:	=JUNGYO= bessantj
7/23: 	Brut(M)				CrustyNutsack(J)
9/23:	BananaCanada & TinyBugChild(M)	oldskool(J)
11/23:	MalarkeyToboggan(M)		NTRabbit(J)
1/23:	Vargatron(M)			Nativity In Black(J)

# ? Feb 2, 2024 09:45

anakha: Sep 16, 2009

Kenning, I'm pretty sure I got an all-KK team too.

Pretty satisfied with my team's performance. Was among the top three for a bit then faltered near the end, but as long as I don't go kadoban, it's all good. Fantasy Baruto's the long-term goal anyway.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 11:09

Dead Goon: Dec 13, 2002; No Obvious Flaws

Thanks to Kenning and Banana Canada, a disappointing basho for me after the relative successes of December.

Having binged Sumo Food, I vow to eat and sleep more and return stronger in March.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 14:29

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

I'm glad my fighting spirit shone through this tournament. I will now resume my standard inter-basho training regimen, which is watching sumo wrestlers consume large amounts of hamburger and steak:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUg_W1C7Z-s

# ? Feb 2, 2024 14:35

some kinda jackal: Feb 25, 2003; �
�

I wanna go have a meal with sumo dudes.

But like.. One course. These guys would kill me.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 14:45

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Yeah I watched that video last night and they just kept bringing out more food and I was like "surely this is the last course".

# ? Feb 2, 2024 14:46

Taffy Torpedo: Feb 2, 2008; ...Can we have the radio?

That's two KKs from two tournaments. I hope my style of sumo continues to get me barely over the line in the future.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 16:42

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

Vargatron posted:

Yeah I watched that video last night and they just kept bringing out more food and I was like "surely this is the last course".

I wandered into Japanese Wikipedia yesterday to see if Takakeisho was left-handed (long story, but he is) and discovered it contains a lot of fun rikishi trivia. For example, I learned that Tobizaru can put away a hundred gyoza in a single sitting.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 19:20

some kinda jackal: Feb 25, 2003; �
�

Hirayuki posted:

For example, I learned that Tobizaru can put away a hundred gyoza in a single sitting.

This raises so many questions that are all in bad taste to ask.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 20:02

Brut: Aug 21, 2007; Can't post for 10 days!

Hirayuki posted:

I learned that Tobizaru can put away a hundred gyoza in a single sitting.

I'd assume everyone in the top divisions can do that, hell, I can probably do that and I'm smaller than Enho.

some kinda jackal posted:

This raises so many questions that are all in bad taste to ask.

Gyoza, not gyoji!

# ? Feb 2, 2024 20:13

bessantj: Jul 27, 2004

Hirayuki posted:

I wandered into Japanese Wikipedia yesterday to see if Takakeisho was left-handed (long story, but he is) and discovered it contains a lot of fun rikishi trivia. For example, I learned that Tobizaru can put away a hundred gyoza in a single sitting.

Life goals.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 20:16

Banana Canada: Sep 2, 2003; I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.

Hirayuki posted:

Tobizaru can put away a hundred gyoza in a single sitting.

I'm going to be attempting this on my next visit to Japan at a place in Tokyo that offers this challenge. The whole order is free if you can pull it off within 60 minutes. I've got high hopes since my personal best for gyoza, which I wasn't even attempting to set, was a still-comfortable 53 at a place in Kyoto.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 20:46

anakha: Sep 16, 2009

Banana Canada posted:

I'm going to be attempting this on my next visit to Japan at a place in Tokyo that offers this challenge. The whole order is free if you can pull it off within 60 minutes. I've got high hopes since my personal best for gyoza, which I wasn't even attempting to set, was a still-comfortable 53 at a place in Kyoto.

Why eat 100 small gyoza when 1 giant gyoza exists?

Restaurant location

# ? Feb 2, 2024 20:51

Banana Canada: Sep 2, 2003; I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.

Ah, I didn't realise the shukun-sho stipulation for Kotonowaka was to yusho rather than merely win his regular day 15th bout. Subtracted 3 sansho points for holders of him on my tracker.

I also added in +0.5 for Juryo pick KKs and +1.0 for Juryo pick Yusho (0.5 for Takerufuji's KK and 0.5 for his Yusho).

However, I'm still seeing the following discrepancies for 7 players. Seems like some various missed MK and/or trade penalty?

code:

Yours	Goonzeki		Mine	Diff
55.5	Helianthus Annuus	54.5	-1
58.5	Tiny Bug Child		58	-0.5
41	Communist Thoughts	40.5	-0.5
71.5	OneSizeFitsAll		71	-0.5
53.5	Takuan			53	-0.5
48.5	Kerrzhe			48	-0.5
47	rare Magic card l00k	46.5	-0.5

If you want to hunt down the discrepancies, here's the details for just these folks. But feel free to leave alone for this basho since none of these differences seem to change any overall placings.

I'll post my revised final results tracker a bit later.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 20:52

Banana Canada: Sep 2, 2003; I'd tax all foreigners living abroad.

anakha posted:

Why eat 100 small gyoza when 1 giant gyoza exists?

Restaurant location

That restaurant actually offers three challenges. In addition to the monster gyoza challenge, they also do the 100 gyoza challenge . Their third challenge is a triple large helping of ramen. However, you need to inform the restaurant at least a day in advance in order to attempt these challenges so I couldn't do it last time as I was flying out the following day.

There are other restaurants that also do the 100 gyoza challenge without the need to pre-book and which are closer to where I usually stay in Tokyo so I'll be trying at ones of those instead.

If I succeed in the 100 though, I would be very tempted to go to that place in the AiJ video to attempt the giant gyoza.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 21:02

Shiroc: May 16, 2009; Sorry I'm late

I'd like to hang out with Tobizaru and eat too many gyoza.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 21:06

Ben Nerevarine: Apr 14, 2006

me: 100 gyoza? those go straight to your hips.

Tobizaru: *nodding vigorously*

# ? Feb 2, 2024 22:26

Nativity In Black: Oct 24, 2012; If you're gonna have roads, you're gonna have roadkill.

Very pleased with my team carrying me to the juryo yusho and the Shukun-sho. My best fantasy sumo showing yet! I think a lot of the folks on my team were under ranked this tournament. Oho always seems to be able to bang out the 8 to stave off juryo demotion and Asanoyama is obviously fantastic if he can stay healthy. Glad in particular that Asanoyama was able to get the KK. Hopefully he can stay healthy for March.

Hopefully I can stay in the goon makuuchi for more than one tournament. I don't want to become the forums version of Bushozan (who will be back in juryo in March. Poor guy just seems to live on the line between juryo and makuuchi).

Speaking of, I think Juryo will be quite a spectacle in March. Takerufuji looked quite strong this tournament, but he'll have a returning Wakatakakage and Hakuoho to contend with.

# ? Feb 2, 2024 23:33

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Great tournament, thanks for all the work the people in the thread put in for this!

# ? Feb 3, 2024 03:22

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

Shiroc posted:

I'd like to hang out with Tobizaru and eat too many gyoza.

Hell, yeah. Between that and his dedication to scrupulous skincare, we would get along swimmingly.

# ? Feb 3, 2024 03:28

Count Thrashula: Jun 1, 2003; Death is nothing compared to vindication.; Buglord

Got caught up on January's tournament. Terunofuji is an absolute monster to watch.

# ? Feb 3, 2024 07:04

Khizan: Jul 30, 2013

There�s a reason he�s nicknamed Kaiju.

# ? Feb 3, 2024 07:19

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# ? May 29, 2024 17:51

Xerzes: May 16, 2012

Kenning posted:

Special shout out to Kerrzhe, who had 4 of their 5 makuuchi rikishi go kyujo during the basho, but who still managed to get a respectable 48.5 points, even while keeping both Asanoyama and Hokutofuji. Xerzes, on the other hand, got absolutely handled, getting 3 auto-trades, all of which resulted in double make-koshi, for a crushing 25 point finish. We salute you for showing up on the clay day after day despite the punishment.

# ? Feb 3, 2024 10:35

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Sumo: Through Banana Canada, we have all now vicariously been to Meatland. (page 68)

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