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Barudak posted:Somebody got really confused by what the "I'm Busy" option meant Where's the lie?
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Feb 1, 2024 03:33
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deep dish peat moss posted:Lol at the guy asking if it's okay to watch porn on his work computer as long as he does it off the clock because it's the only device he has to watch porn on and he can't conceive of a world where he doesn't watch porn every day Android or Amazon Fire tablets are under $50 and stream Pornhub just fine. Yes, I speak from experience.
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Feb 1, 2024 04:15
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"Working hard or hardly working?"
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Feb 1, 2024 05:41
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Skanky Burns posted:"Working hard or hardly working?" You got time to lean, you got time for peen.
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Feb 1, 2024 07:24
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When I was young and working lovely part time fast food jobs I had managers give me the time to lean time to clean thing unironically a few times. I guess if you’re 30 and working in fast food with a bunch of teens in the mid 2000s that’s just what you do to make them hate their lives
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Feb 1, 2024 07:36
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We are a third of the way through Q1 and we are still deciding what our Q1 OKRs are going to be. I loving hate OKRs.
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Feb 1, 2024 08:04
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"due to our proximity to a passing spacetime anomaly, this week is entirely mondays" I say in the teams meeting as my boss quietly emails HR
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Feb 1, 2024 14:52
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blackmet posted:The man in this Ask a manager column? I agree with the firing. If he'd done it to me, I might have committed minor acts of vandalism or violence against him. I can do a weird two finger typing thing without relying on the home keys. It drove my co-workers insane because "HOW CAN YOU DO THAT WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE KEYBOARD?" I'd be screwed if the keyboard format ever changed. Keyboard Guy is almost a trope of the slightly sexist, "well meaning" guy who steamrolls everyone else because he's "so smart." He was on a 3 month internship and started talking down to a full-fledged employee as well as changing their tech because "his way is better." He has middle management potential written all over him.
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Feb 1, 2024 14:53
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What’s an OKR?
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Feb 1, 2024 15:02
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Old Kranky Racist.
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Feb 1, 2024 15:08
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Trilly Joel posted:What’s an OKR? It's like a KPI, but instead of just metrics you can't achieve it also has arbitrary objectives you can't achieve either
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Feb 1, 2024 15:10
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blackmet posted:Android or Amazon Fire tablets are under $50 and stream Pornhub just fine.
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Feb 1, 2024 15:47
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I've been working with our purchasing system for 10 of my 15 year career (and five of those years were with our design/model system alone, the rest were in conjunction with) across multiple companies. It's almost impossible to stump me because I've seen almost everything this system has to offer, I know how things flow and how to get information or perform tasks well beyond what my station suggests. All that is to say I rarely need help. Yet, yesterday I was trying to get some orders approved that went to my boss' level, but when she approved the order it just cycled back to her claiming she needed to change the order type. I had to dig to get to the error message and it made no sense, so I reached out to our dedicated Purchasing System support team to see if they could provide any insight as everything I did that went to her level got this endless loop of errors. My problem with asking our support team anything is that they'll run some basic checks and blame the problem on something that looks odd on the surface that anyone could find. When I got a response back they gave me a solution I had ruled out already, namely that the person after my boss was not in our system as an approver. The order I needed approved was not going to make it to his level, so there shouldn't even be a question. When I pointed this out (having already provided examples, screenshots and workflow objects to review) they got defensive and told me that no, because the next step wasn't right the orders were being rejected even if the order would never get to that approval queue. Then I had someone with the same approval tree step in and effortlessly approve the order. Suddenly, it may be beneficial to have my supervisor gain a very specific access that would allow her to approve all sorts of order types. All told, it took six hours to get to a conclusion I had more or less come to after about 20 minutes. They didn't even grant access, they made my supervisor submit a ticket that would eventually flow to them to grant that access. I have no idea why they are like this. I can't imagine there's a good reason to pretend that the first problem you discovered was the only option while throwing out the real solution as a "maybe."
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Feb 1, 2024 16:30
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So the whole spin-off thing... Just happened. I walked into the office and there balloons in the lobby, all the TVs had our new (old) logo, and all the branding from the company that bought us has been removed. In many cases messily, like they just ripped them off the wall with a crowbar. They finally started sending out emails announcing it. Seems weird to just pull that lever with no notice even though everyone kept asking when it was going to happen. But then again the stock for the parent company nosedived 14% as soon as the market opened, so... I guess that's why they waited?
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Feb 1, 2024 16:41
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Cthulu Carl posted:So the whole spin-off thing... Just happened. I walked into the office and there balloons in the lobby, all the TVs had our new (old) logo, and all the branding from the company that bought us has been removed. In many cases messily, like they just ripped them off the wall with a crowbar. Happened to me back in 2018, but with a merger. I left work the day before working for X and showed up the next day with a giant banner welcoming me to Y less than 12 hours later. We all knew it was going to happen at some point, but the surprise name change messed with a lot of us. I spent almost a year trying to convince our vendors to accept that we just changed our name.
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Feb 1, 2024 18:14
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Lazyfire posted:Happened to me back in 2018, but with a merger. I left work the day before working for X and showed up the next day with a giant banner welcoming me to Y less than 12 hours later. We all knew it was going to happen at some point, but the surprise name change messed with a lot of us. I spent almost a year trying to convince our vendors to accept that we just changed our name. Lol when they originally bought us in 2019, they made a big deal of every little step, even having a big party on the day it finalized. Now everything is being done as hush hush as possible, with h things announced only after it happens. Probably because buying us was a huge mistake that almost killed both companies.
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Feb 1, 2024 18:19
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Lazyfire posted:I left work the day before working for X I am so, so sorry you're working for Musk.  Stay strong. 
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Feb 1, 2024 18:21
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Cthulu Carl posted:Lol when they originally bought us in 2019, they made a big deal of every little step, even having a big party on the day it finalized. Now everything is being done as hush hush as possible, with h things announced only after it happens. Probably because buying us was a huge mistake that almost killed both companies. When our merger was complete they immediately booked the new President for our "Leadership Club" dinner. They sat him at the table with my wife and I and no one thought to tell me, including my wife. So I did my whole routine about being the new guy at the company and he joked about how he had been there for only a couple weeks (previously CEO of the company we merged with) and I said "oh, so I have seniority over you, then?" like two seconds before he was called up to give the keynote. If my wife could divorce me with a thought it would have been in that moment. I'm just lucky he thought I was funny and told multiple people I made his day by not treating him like a celebrity. Cyrano4747 posted:I am so, so sorry you're working for Musk. No, my company actually made money without one time government tax cuts.
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Feb 1, 2024 18:44
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My company is investing in Augmented Reality mirrors and IT has to install them in stores.
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Feb 1, 2024 18:50
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Cheesus posted:Avoid streaming, use Google Safe Folder on your personal phone. If you are posting here you probably know about yt-dlp and that it works on any site as well
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Feb 1, 2024 19:07
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Being willfully ignorant of the whole concept, I'm going to assume AI augmented mirror is a dumb way to say 'Fancy TV with webcam attached' E: My bookkeeper missed a meeting due to 'having some issues loading her cows onto the trailer'. Outrail fucked around with this message at 20:09 on Feb 1, 2024 |
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Feb 1, 2024 20:03
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Blue Moonlight posted:We are a third of the way through Q1 and we are still deciding what our Q1 OKRs are going to be. lol we decided OKRs last year but failed to develop actual meaningful targets for many of our KPIs that feed into them lol it's february 1st and we still haven't announced what the goals for january were lol, lmao
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Feb 1, 2024 20:09
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this is pretty much the bar for mergers and aquisitions, especially given publicly traded corps. SEC gets real feisty about insider trading (unless you are in congress) so our standard rulebook is pretty much it happens real fast and maybe a handful of people know what companies are involved until the official public press release. source: have made 3 aquisitions since the beginning of the year, and every one involved other than the M&A team usually gets blindsided.
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Feb 1, 2024 20:24
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I just remembered me being the evil entity at a previous company. The network admin dept was a huge, open room full of cubicles. I would sometimes walk through and whistle the first 4 notes to The Final Countdown and then stop and wait. Inevitably, someone would whistle the next 5 notes from somewhere on the floor. tl;dr me forcing an unexpected Europe song onto other tech nerds
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Feb 1, 2024 21:26
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weekly touchpoint meeting for trashfire catastrophe delayed to all poo poo project "i thought the plan was..." "my impression of the goal was..." "does anybody remember what the consensus was on...?" "are we in agreement that we are going to...?" "is there documentation for the decision we made on...?" please loving kill me, none of these people know what the gently caress theyre doing and the alleged project manager contractor guy checked out months ago and is a net disorganizing influence
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Feb 1, 2024 22:38
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Owner barges into the analytics office: "Hi everyone, you all know my mom. Mimi. Is there anyone who doesn't know Mimi? No. Ok. You all know Mimi, great. So my mom now knows how to code better than anyone in this building she just got her master's degree in Python, making it her third master's degree. But that doesn't stop her, now at 72 she getting her master's in tableau. And while I'm sure the professor was thinking 'oh no what's this old woman doing in my class' well when she showed him what she was doing he went 'oh boy, I better take this serious, she knows what she's doing ' so does anyone in here knows tableau? Will does, great. Can you show her what you do? Uh huh. Sure. Uh huh. Yeah great. Well she needs help with her homework so can you give her your email so she can set up a zoom meeting with you so you can go over what's she's got?" Mimi: "the professor gave us a place to get the information and I pulled it and have 50million lines of data to work through and I though, oh that's a lot, but I gave myself 2 hours and 2 hours is all I give myself before I give up before I go looking for help. Ok thank you will I'll email you and we can zoom whenever your done with your work for the day." This entire exchange occurred in sub 2 minutes. Will is, looking at the clock, currently on a zoom call with the owners mom. He's off this weekend to go skiing. While none of us will be compensated for that barrage, Will will not be compensated for his time. And if her homework and continued education doesn't go well, he will be faulted for it. However once Mimi gets her fourth master's she will be lauded for her ability to do this all by herself. 2 years ago the owner pulled the ecommerce data kid into her office to help Mimi with her homework then. She had just finished her third master's then as well. I was building if/then statement in Excel to calculate warehouses costs for carton picking versus pallet shipping, so I managed to avoid everything. I hope to gently caress she never decides to learn excel .
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Feb 2, 2024 00:23
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Fortunately, I don't think you can get a master's degree in Excel.
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Feb 2, 2024 00:25
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I didn't think you could get one in Python but what the gently caress do I know.
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Feb 2, 2024 00:29
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Not only can you get a Master's Degree in Excel you can use the skills your degree taught you to compete in exciting e-sports events like the Microsoft Excel World Championship.
deep dish peat moss fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Feb 2, 2024 |
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Feb 2, 2024 00:31
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A vendor we worked with changed their name with 0 warning over night the last day of january. Which would be annoying as we have to update the system, but they changed their tax ID too so uh, nobody not just us but nobody can pay them this month as nobody can update their systems fast enough to get the payments out to them for feb. Lol.
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Feb 2, 2024 00:47
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Barudak posted:A vendor we worked with changed their name with 0 warning over night the last day of january. Which would be annoying as we have to update the system, but they changed their tax ID too so uh, nobody not just us but nobody can pay them this month as nobody can update their systems fast enough to get the payments out to them for feb. Did they relocate to Singapore? 
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Feb 2, 2024 00:50
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Apparently I get a bonus on my last salary before I am furloughed (reduced week, will be working 2 days a week for a month or so). I mean I am not complaining, but I thought they furloughed me to pay me less.
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Feb 2, 2024 08:05
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Cyber Punk 90210 posted:My company is investing in Augmented Reality mirrors and IT has to install them in stores. I can't wait to hear about the scandal where those AR mirrors leaked images of underage tiddies because someone set them up to save to an unsecured AWS instance. Because management somehow thought camera+computer+dressing room == profit, for some completely moronic reason.
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Feb 2, 2024 09:45
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:I can't wait to hear about the scandal where those AR mirrors leaked images of underage tiddies because someone set them up to save to an unsecured AWS instance. Because management somehow thought camera+computer+dressing room == profit, for some completely moronic reason. there was at least one news story awhile back of a school principal who was remotely accessing the webcams on students' school issued chromebooks to keep an eye on them so this isnt a huge leap
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Feb 2, 2024 15:13
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our lead tester is relaying info about a failing testcase to me and for no reason decides to type max 3 words per message like this and it's driving me to start drinking at 3:30 PM on a friday
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Feb 2, 2024 15:43
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Reply with a fake vacation responder message.
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Feb 2, 2024 15:49
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Sywert of Thieves posted:our lead tester This guy and the guy who messages you with "Hi", doesn't send anything else until you respond, and then spends the next few minutes typing out the message they were originally going to send, are the first two devils who greet new arrivals at the gates of hell
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Feb 2, 2024 15:56
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Client at the weekend brought up our ex-boss unprompted, she contacted her friend out of the blue to ask why they hadn't come in for a tattoo in so long? She hadn't contacted the shop or enquired about a tattoo for a very long time so she'd been very confused. Sounds like things are going GREAT! I haven't been paying attention to the shop's accounts but a small glance shows no new work posted since mid December, none of the apprentices (who I'm actually in contact and on good terms with) have posted either? Also this week she somehow dug through 5 months of messages on FB and sent our now-jnr artist a single thumbs up emoji and scared the poo poo out of her
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Feb 2, 2024 16:00
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One of the managers who has been with the company since almost day one is leaving next week, in part because he was removed from several leadership duties by our new CEO. The CEO gave one reason as, "I want someone in this position to have an MBA". We are a nonprofit, and literally no one in the organization has an advanced degree except me, and I'm not even a manager. New CEO has also soft-mandated 3 days in office, with the entire company previously being mostly remote. He just started a few months ago and hasn't made an official policy, basically just having the managers tell their teams "CEO believes that in a 40-hour work week you should be in the office at least half that time". He's also started a big strategy discussion with the team about building KPIs and metrics for our work, and how we can't know if we're doing better or worse without a unique-to-us system to understand it. He made big points to be like "We need to carefully develop KPIs before executing programs and projects so we can benchmark them to understand progress. We are a data driven organization and can't rely on intuition or feelings for these things". Right after he said that the manager who is leaving raised his hand and says, "What KPIs did you use to mandate a forced return to office?". Absolute legend, I will miss him.
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Feb 2, 2024 16:26
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deep dish peat moss posted:Not only can you get a Master's Degree in Excel you can use the skills your degree taught you to compete in exciting e-sports events like the Microsoft Excel World Championship. It was a while back but I enjoyed when someone mentioned interviewing a candidate who had listed being an Excel super user as a qualification, but when asked to demonstrate a basic pivot table panicked and accused them of trickery.
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Feb 2, 2024 16:36
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