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Hefty Leftist
Jun 26, 2011

"You know how vodka or whiskey are distilled multiple times to taste good? It's the same with shit. After being digested for the third time shit starts to taste reeeeeeaaaally yummy."


Cornwind Evil posted:

Shawn Michaels: Mr Wrestlemania

"Part 3": https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=57#post522524654 (In the post already, but this is my April Fools fakeout where I talk about the Gobbledey Gooker instead)

The Real Part 3: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=60#post522607032

Part 4/Conclusion: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=62#post522678395

Beasts of Burden: An Examination Of The Circumstances of Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg at Wrestlemania 20

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=65#post522779467

A Personal Assessment Of Vince Russo

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=67#post523027450

Pro Wrestling: A History
(On hold, but I do want to finish it)

Part 1 (for now, the only Part): https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=74#post523883625

A Star Is Scorned: Some Never Weres, What Ifs, and What Thes In The Business' Last Few Decades

Billy Gunn, Part 1: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=99#post531173264

Billy Gunn (And Bart Gunn And The Brawl For All Redux), Part 2: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=99#post531194590

Matt Bloom, ie Albert, A-Train, Tensai, and Sweet T, along with some other rear end in a top hat (Not Droz): https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=99#post531202413

A Scattershot Finish Of Failings/Conclusion: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=100#post531267630

All That Glitters: The Strange Mad Career of Dustin Runnels, ie Goldust

Part 1: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=100#post531318636

Part 2: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=100#post531468303 (Goldust is truly 'born')

Part 3: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=102#post531563592

Part 4:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=103#post531607529 (TAFKA Goldust)

Part 5: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=103#post531757787 (Booker T Team/Tourette's Goldust)

Part 6(66): https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=106#post531956674 (Black Reign)

Part 7: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=107#post531982178 (Guest starring Stardust)

Part 8/Conclusion: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=110#post532099442

The Undertaker's No Good, Very Bad First Career Quarter (1990-1996)


Part 1: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=112#post532134180 (Debut)

Part 2: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=115#post532213172 (Kamala, Giant Gonzalez)

Part 3: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=115#post532213172 (Yokozuna, with some CW analysis on the infamous Undertaker 1994 angle and the Survivor Series followup)

Part 4: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=116#post532303108 ("Underfaker", IRS)

Part 5/Conclusion: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3991949&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=117#post532402536 (King Kong Bundy, Kama, Mabel, and some Kevin Nash at the end)

And just because, here's my cleaned up version of "The Sleaziest Stories In Pro Wrestling" as well.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fMe4vfVY6sRMVF4s1aiOXjc8KOt2r2GDPklSCKjWx94/edit?usp=sharing

updated, thank you for your service

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Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe
Figure they should keep Stone Cold hitting Vince in the head with a bedpan

Only that five seconds though

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

Phy posted:

Figure they should keep Stone Cold hitting Vince in the head with a bedpan

Only that five seconds though

Nah the whole skit is great

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

stone cold steve austin feuding with and tormenting no one for all of the 90's and the crowd cheers for him

Stone Cold brings a fake gun into a hospital for laughs

Edit: my bad the gun was from a different episode




Hey wait didn't Vince piss himself when Austin pulled the fake gun on him?

Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting

Phy posted:

Figure they should keep Stone Cold hitting Vince in the head with a bedpan

Only that five seconds though

Shinjobi posted:

Hey wait didn't Vince piss himself when Austin pulled the fake gun on him?

To be hair splitting, it was when he pulled the trigger on the fake gun, making a 'Bang! 3:16' flag come out that he pissed himself.

As has been said. In a vacuum, that is the one trait that Vince had that his maybe half brother Donald Trump...

(If you missed that speculation, some people think Trump more resembles Vince Sr than his father Fred, and that Vince Sr hence cheated with Trump's mother and hence Vince and he are actually blood related)

Didn't. He was willing to get trashed and humiliated as part of the show. Trump's ego would never allow that in a billion years. And that's probably why Trump killed everything he touched, while Vince did actually have legit business success in 'wrasslin'. Of course, Vince wanted to be the image of Trump, not a 'wrasslin promoter', so neither got what they wanted. And that's what they deserve, and deserved, and worse.

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR

🔊😴

Cornwind Evil posted:

(If you missed that speculation, some people think Trump more resembles Vince Sr than his father Fred, and that Vince Sr hence cheated with Trump's mother and hence Vince and he are actually blood related)

It's tough because Donnie looks a lot like his mother. Either way I'm comfortable saying Don Jr is absolutely the younger Vince's biological son. Don Jr looks more like Vince than Shane does.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
I'm Barron Trump's bio dad. Hey. Sorry everyone.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

You know what? Im just gonna post it while I still can

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL6ND8PfJQ0

Mad Doctor Cthulhu
Mar 3, 2008

MrQwerty posted:

You know what? Im just gonna post it while I still can

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL6ND8PfJQ0

Seeing McMahon being clocked on the crown with a bedpan is something I never knew I needed until now.

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!
Reminds me of The only other skit I can remember of Austin's:

"Price check on Jackass!"

Lol I just remembered when Vince's limo exploded and Trump called to make sure he was okay because he is an idiot

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

Speaking of things that take on a new light now that we really know about Vince, here is a small example:

Cornwind Evil posted:

I forget the EXACT details of how it happened, but an episode of Monday Night Raw was happening in Vegas. This had happened before, and the WWE would do a gimmick of spinning a roulette wheel to decide match stipulations and setups. Tensai, by now thoroughly jobbed out, ended up in a ‘dance off’ with Clay…with another stipulation that actually ended up being removed…without telling Tensai. So when the dance off began, Tensai incredibly grudgingly came out in a bathrobe, to reveal he was wearing women’s lingerie.



As said, I forget exactly WHY this ‘This has to happen/no it doesn’t but Tensai isn’t told’ situation happened. But you know why. It’s the WWE. If you are perceived as having failed, you WILL be humiliated for it. Because Vince McMahon, as recently revealed, is the kind of man who hates giraffes because he is mad that such a large animal is a herbivore. Does that make any sort of sense? Nope. Is it the giraffe’s fault or choice? Nope. But never let the truth get in the way of a severe mental issue.

Eau de MacGowan
May 12, 2009

BRASIL HEXA
2026 tá logo aí
genuinely impressed they managed to find a bustier for someone who is *checks wikipedia* 6'7" and over 300lbs

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
He kinda rocks it from the look of it, gotta say.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

quote:

Because Vince McMahon, as recently revealed, is the kind of man who hates giraffes because he is mad that such a large animal is a herbivore.

Thank you for reminding me of this, it almost made me laugh but then I remembered the human trafficking.

Pennsylvanian
May 23, 2010

Hetman Bohdan Khmelnytsky Independent Presidential Regiment
Western Liberal Democracy or Death!

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

people remember the attitude era fondly but it was mostly really bad jerry springer poo poo with wrestling interspersed in between

I'd like to see a graph of how many Attitude RAW episodes had wrestling matches in them, and how many of those matches didn't have interruptions or some cheating while the ref was distracted or "knocked out." It may be confirmation bias, but i remember tuning in night after night with no real wrestling to actually watch.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
I think part of the attitude era nostalgia is that it hit at just the right time

TV at that time was becoming a bit more "risque" (I put that in quotes because people said drat or even rear end sometimes!!), but a majority of the programming was banal and safe. You had the Cosby Show (sequel? Reboot? I don't remember what it was exactly) Seinfeld, Friends, stuff like that, fun for the whole family to watch. Funny but safe comedy. This was also the time that many of us were coming of age and certainly in an uncertain world

Then all of a sudden WWF comes out with these characters who do crotch chops and abuse authority! The Rock says "Shut up bitch!" on TV! Austin 3:16 says he's going to whoop your rear end, drinks beer in the ring and flips people off! It was genuinely shocking TV for a lot of people, but it also subverted the norm for the time. It was risky, it was bold, it was fresh, and most importantly, it got ratings.

Is the Attitude Era kinda cringy now? Absolutely no question. A lot of it ages poorly. But it was like lightning struck at the exact right time. You had the right performers saying the right things and that, in my unofficial estimation, is probably why we still look back on it fondly

Hell I wasn't even into wrestling and I'd pretend to watch Frasier and as soon as my parents went to bed switched back to Smackdown. I had no care about wrestling before that but I couldn't look away and I kept coming back week after week

Seth Pecksniff fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Feb 4, 2024

Matinee
Sep 15, 2007

The Attitude Era came at just the right time for a generation of people who had been told in 1989/1990 that Bart Simpson was a bad influence.

Cartoon Man
Jan 31, 2004


Matinee posted:

The Attitude Era came at just the right time for a generation of people who had been told in 1989/1990 that Bart Simpson was a bad influence.

https://i.imgur.com/69lmran.mp4
This is what needs to be memory holed.

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013

https://twitter.com/WrestleOps/status/1753810557633782113

tequila salesman doing black adam on his old job
lmao

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
he has become hulk hogan destroyer of feds

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
the rock's daughter is the gm of nxt and i lol'd when i found out

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

the rock's daughter is the gm of nxt and i lol'd when i found out

lol what for real ?

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014

Seth Pecksniff posted:

lol what for real ?

its kayfabe but we all know why she's there lol

Pennsylvanian
May 23, 2010

Hetman Bohdan Khmelnytsky Independent Presidential Regiment
Western Liberal Democracy or Death!
I grew up in Pennsyltuckey and WWF was bigger than ever in the Attitude era. It probably helped that Steve Austin was one of the first wrestlers with a southern accent who didn't act like a reject from Hee-Haw, so everyone in my hometown loved him, as well as the crudeness of the Attitude era. I stopped watching at the time because of all if the drama and the lack of wrestling outside of PPV events.

snergle
Aug 3, 2013

A kind little mouse!

fatherboxx posted:

https://twitter.com/WrestleOps/status/1753810557633782113

tequila salesman doing black adam on his old job
lmao

i called it that he would try to take over like he did with wb. looking foward to him loving it up some how.

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007
An alright dude.

snergle posted:

i called it that he would try to take over like he did with wb. looking foward to him loving it up some how.

Its basically going to be Hulk Hogan and the WCW all over again.

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
it is and its going to kick rear end

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
the one thing you dont do is give a wrestler the book and they gave rock the company

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



I never watched or gave a gently caress about wrestling and I had a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt when I was in middle school. I'm glad he is not a sexpest piece of poo poo.

This was at a post-Columbine public middle school in Texas where I once got in trouble for wearing a shirt with Darth Maul on it because a teacher thought it looked "satanic". Then they adopted school uniforms about a year after I moved on to high school.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

the one thing you dont do is give a wrestler the book and they gave rock the company

Dusty may have bankrupted JCP but he did it with style.

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014

I. M. Gei posted:

I never watched or gave a gently caress about wrestling and I had a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt when I was in middle school. I'm glad he is not a sexpest piece of poo poo.

This was at a post-Columbine public middle school in Texas where I once got in trouble for wearing a shirt with Darth Maul on it because a teacher thought it looked "satanic". Then they adopted school uniforms about a year after I moved on to high school.

stone cold is a wifebeater

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

There ain't no heroes in wrestling, except maybe Foley

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014

MrQwerty posted:

There ain't no heroes in wrestling, except maybe Foley

foley knows how hosed up wwe is and still sent his kids to work there lol

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

The carnie life

16-bit Butt-Head
Dec 25, 2014
remembering when trump said something stupid i dont remember what and foley angrily tweeting at vince demanding to know why trump is in the hall of fame lol

snergle
Aug 3, 2013

A kind little mouse!

Hollismason posted:

Its basically going to be Hulk Hogan and the WCW all over again.

i didnt watch wreslting then. like alot of people i started watching in the attitude era then dropped off before it ended. i really like stone cold and mc foley specifically the socko version of mcfoley. then a thread possibly this one got me into watching wwe again for new day and i really liked that they were a 3 man tag then i was just watching clips of them then i fell off again and then this thread got me into aew where i like most stuff but i really liked danhaussen and i orange cassidy and honestly most 3 man tag teams

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

remembering when trump said something stupid i dont remember what and foley angrily tweeting at vince demanding to know why trump is in the hall of fame lol

Lol :chaostrump:

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

stone cold is a wifebeater

Steve Anderson is a wife beater.

Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

didn't a goon say he was an autograph signing foley was doing and he saw mick ignore a kid in a wheelchair or something because he was too busy trying to pick up on a milf. i think that's probably the worst thing i heard about foley and it's not really that bad, pretty understandable actually.

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Monica Bellucci
Dec 14, 2022

MrQwerty posted:

There ain't no heroes in wrestling, except maybe Foley

Molly Holly, Victoria? :ohdear:

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