Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

I think I would, but I�d hate myself afterwards.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 04:27

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# ? May 26, 2024 11:10

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

I'd try the pizza cupcakes.
But I highly doubt that pizza cake is cooked thoroughly unless they cook the layers individually then assemble it for another pass through with the outer layer...

# ? Feb 10, 2024 04:28

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Cartoon Man posted:

I think I would, but I�d hate myself afterwards.

maybe 20 years ago.

i dunno. i could get a thinnish slice and then run it through an air fryer for a bit.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 04:38

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I'd try it on principle, but I'm kinda feeling over with ultra thick pizza and pizza-like creations. There's just no way that's coming out better cooked than a regular slice.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 04:43

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

Cartoon Man posted:

Time once again for the thread to pass judgement:

https://i.imgur.com/ahzEyKq.mp4

Neither a cake nor a pizza. Kind of a variant on lasagna, although that layered pie from Game of Thrones is probably what I've seen most like it in form.

It's so much in one slice, it does not slice easily or hold together well, so it's such a mess you should probably get a knife and fork. But it at least seems to be thin crust to keep it more balanced, unlike the bread roll with marinara and mozzarella.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 04:50

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

9" diameter maybe but certainly not 9" tall :colbert:

# ? Feb 10, 2024 04:58

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Alternative, possibly from the same imgur pizza dump:

# ? Feb 10, 2024 05:06

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

why say "ooze" when you could say "suppurate"?

# ? Feb 10, 2024 05:15

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

is a savoury cake just a pie?

# ? Feb 10, 2024 05:25

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

In this case I think it's just a round lasagna.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 05:45

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Cartoon Man posted:

Time once again for the thread to pass judgement:

Honestly impressed you can eat it with your hands. I'd give it a whirl. But why not just have four slices instead of four slices stacked?

# ? Feb 10, 2024 05:48

Hatebag: Jun 17, 2008

Cartoon Man posted:

Time once again for the thread to pass judgement:

https://i.imgur.com/ahzEyKq.mp4

it doesn't make sense. hyperdimensional pizza is not better for bowling. or anything, really. some kinda one bite pizza approximation would be a lot more practical for bowling food. pizza on a stick, perhaps pizza cones or pizza nuggets

# ? Feb 10, 2024 06:04

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

The pizza cone makes sense to me.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 07:04

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

is the pizza cone just a curled up pizza or is it an actual dough cone filled with pizza?

# ? Feb 10, 2024 07:08

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Cartoon Man posted:

Time once again for the thread to pass judgement:

https://i.imgur.com/ahzEyKq.mp4

It's great if you enjoy your pizza boiled

# ? Feb 10, 2024 08:01

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

It looks like lunchables grade trash ingredients even if the bake was going to be acceptable, which is isn't. That the pizza cake is incredibly bad is on par for an NYC bowling alley complex as well

# ? Feb 10, 2024 11:09

HELLOMYNAMEIS___: Dec 30, 2007

https://i.imgur.com/HL20RGF.mp4

This is not likely to be "the worst pizza ever", but if I'm buying something in a store, why would I choose this..? This is something that, like the captions say, you make from a tortilla and left-over cheese when you don't have anything else handy, not something you purposefully buy.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 11:23

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

Non Compos Mentis posted:

is the pizza cone just a curled up pizza or is it an actual dough cone filled with pizza?

Yeah, it's both of those things.

Depending on where you get it it's more one than the other.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 13:01

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

Cartoon Man posted:

Time once again for the thread to pass judgement:

https://i.imgur.com/ahzEyKq.mp4

The crust looks really good. I bet their more orthodox pizzas are great.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 16:03

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

The General posted:

Honestly impressed you can eat it with your hands. I'd give it a whirl. But why not just have four slices instead of four slices stacked?

in NYC I would get 4 regular slices ready to go, and then stack them for the effect.

BOOM I get my pizzagna and I know it's properly cooked. I don't know if I could get the proper NYC fold with those layers...

# ? Feb 10, 2024 17:30

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Pizza cake looks good.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 17:32

Big Ass On Fire: Jun 16, 2023

Looks like it'd be a real challenge to eat with your hands without a lot of the toppings falling out.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 18:42

emSparkly: Nov 21, 2022; I'm open to interpretation!

My mom did pizza cupcakes once and they were awful. If she�d used better dough then they probably would have been fine.

# ? Feb 10, 2024 18:47

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

It's a pizza cupcake just a ball of dry-rear end tough pizza dough with some sauce on top?

# ? Feb 10, 2024 18:54

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Yeah there better be something in those and it better not just be un-crisped pepperoni

# ? Feb 10, 2024 19:00

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

They're dough pressed in a cupcake pan, topped with your tomato sauce, cheese, and whatever else, then baked.

Pillsbury crescent dough is a quick shortcut.
https://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/pizza-cupcakes/eb2d7289-0048-4f37-b614-ab0a70b3947a

# ? Feb 10, 2024 19:11

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Cartoon Man posted:

Time once again for the thread to pass judgement:

https://i.imgur.com/ahzEyKq.mp4

Frozen Great Value-rear end looking sausage

# ? Feb 11, 2024 01:51

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

https://twitter.com/Snack_Memories/status/1755211054106481029

# ? Feb 11, 2024 02:24

Barudak: May 7, 2007

HELLOMYNAMEIS___ posted:

https://i.imgur.com/HL20RGF.mp4

This is not likely to be "the worst pizza ever", but if I'm buying something in a store, why would I choose this..? This is something that, like the captions say, you make from a tortilla and left-over cheese when you don't have anything else handy, not something you purposefully buy.

Japanese homes dont usually have ovens, at best you will get a microwave oven/convection oven combo or itty bitty teeny tiny toaster oven. Because of that theres no real market for full sized decent quality take home pizzas. If you wanted a good pizza youd pay for a delivery/dine-in and if you cant afford that this is what you get.

Although, frankly, that is the worst looking one of these Ive seen.

Edit: Takoyaki equipment is the right stuff for making pizza puffs but those cowards at Gindaco wont let me realize my vision

# ? Feb 11, 2024 03:09