WWE: finn balor worked himself into a shoot and the shoot is wrestling

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > WWE: finn balor worked himself into a shoot and the shoot is wrestling

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Monica Bellucci: Dec 14, 2022

....did his surname not tip you off?

Huh, um, Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat is still okay, right?

# ? Feb 14, 2024 01:37

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 18:41

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Unfortunately he entered the public domain a few weeks back.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 01:44

GokuGoesSSj69: Apr 15, 2017; Weak people spend 10 dollars to gift titles about world leaders they dislike. The strong spend 10 dollars to gift titles telling everyone to play Deus Ex again

Monica Bellucci posted:

....did his surname not tip you off?

Get this: Maxwell Jacob Friedman is Jewish too.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 01:49

NorgLyle: Sep 20, 2002; Do you think I posted to this forum because I value your companionship?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

There�s an episode of the New Love Boat where Kevin Nash and Goldberg beat the poo poo out of each other with pool chairs.

Goldberg also shows up in a completely random episode of Law & Order: SVU freaking out in the station and getting tased unconscious completely irrelevant to whatever the episode's plot is actually about.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 02:02

Hollismason: Jun 30, 2007; An alright dude.

Wasn't Steve Borden in some sort of indy Romantic Comedy that was just a totally normal film. I forget the name of it and I can't find it on IMDB.

I think its The Real Reason (Men Commit Crimes).

Here it is

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160744/fullcredits?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm

I actually think I watched this.

Hollismason fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Feb 14, 2024

# ? Feb 14, 2024 02:11

AlmightyBob: Sep 8, 2003

John Morrison was in a movie where he gets pinned by a dog

# ? Feb 14, 2024 02:23

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

You know if you are gonna count No Holds Barred I think that means you have to count every terrible WWE movie, like the one where Kane has a 20 inch penis or all the ones where Miz plays a marine

# ? Feb 14, 2024 02:53

Saucer Crab: Apr 3, 2009

Monica Bellucci posted:

....did his surname not tip you off?

Huh, um, Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat is still okay, right?

He did a little guest arc in AEW last year, and at the PPV he got up from commentary to slug someone, sat back down and started to wipe the blood off of him, and when asked he just laughed and said "It's part of what we do."

# ? Feb 14, 2024 02:56

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Mulaney Power Move posted:

WWE: the one where Kane has a 20 inch penis

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:01

Jamesman: Nov 19, 2004; "First off, let me start by saying curly light blond hair does not suit Hyomin at all. Furthermore,"; Fun Shoe

Monica Bellucci posted:

....did his surname not tip you off?

I thought it was his wrestling name cuz he was big and strong like an iceberg made of gold!

(I was not actually serious)

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:11

Stunt-Puffin: May 19, 2023

My family had one of those huge black c-band satellites from the early 90's to the early oughts. They were the ones that took like 30 seconds to rotate and tune into a specific satellite (like G1), but then you'd be able to quickly surf across the 24 channels on that satellite. The best channels like HBO, Cinemax, Cartoon Network, Disney, and Nick were all spread across the 4 or 5 most popular satellites, and if you wanted to get a good sense of what was on at any given time you only had to tune into those satellites.

But, there were a bunch of other satellites out there that were effectively content deserts that hardly anyone ever tuned in to. Most of their 24 channels would be empty static but they'd have a couple of token zombie networks airing infomercials, blurry TV shows from the 60's and 70's that nobody had nostalgia for, and strange liminal programming that would discomfort rational minds.

It would have been around 2001ish when I read that one of those zombie networks, on one of those content desert satellites, had obtained a contract to air XPW's weekly show. I was a huge ECW fan at the time and I was stoked because the XPW opening montage was chock full of ECW alumni and XPW standouts doing a bunch of extreme poo poo to Five Finger Crawl. That trailer promised an abundance of hardcore wrestling action so I tuned in each week hoping to catch a crazy death match or some sick lucha libra.

What a frustrating waste of time XPW was. I don't know if they'd stopped putting on wrestling events for the year I was tuning in, but like 90% of their show was just insane stream-of-consciousness sketches that Rob Black filmed in the back of his lovely strip mall office. It was legitimately the most uncomfortable television I've ever sat through, but I sat through it each week because occasionally they'd cut away from the Rob Black power hour to a wrestling match where a philosophical homeless man would take multiple unprotected flaming chair shots to the face.

You had to sit through a lot of gutter content to get to anything interesting in XPW, but I wanted to share a lowlight that still haunts my memories to give some perspective on how bad XPW could get. It started when Rob Black found a Christmas figurine depicting a black Santa and became completely infatuated with it. He gleefully nicknamed the doll 'N-word Clause,' with a hard R, and then started talking to it each week like Al Snow used to talk to head. It was the most cavalier usage of the N-word I'd ever seen on television, yet Rob Black somehow kept this bit going for months.

Also there was a fat clown wrestler who went by the name Pogo the Clown and he painted his face to look like the child murderer John Wayne Gacy. He carried a shovel to the ring and would occasionally be shown digging holes in the forest at night.

I just wanted to watch Sabu wrestle John Kronus

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:11

Lazyfire: Feb 4, 2006; God saves. Satan Invests

rally posted:

Kevin Nash in TMNT2 also shredded

Kevin Nash as the Russian in the Thomas Jane Punisher movie. He. Was unrecognizable and had zero lines.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:25

AlmightyBob: Sep 8, 2003

Mulaney Power Move posted:

You know if you are gonna count No Holds Barred I think that means you have to count every terrible WWE movie, like the one where Kane has a 20 inch penis or all the ones where Miz plays a marine

a couple years ago we watched one with stone cold and Danny Trejo that was ok, not incredible but decent

I had to google the title, it's called recoil

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:33

Sydney Bottocks: Oct 15, 2004

Lazyfire posted:

Kevin Nash as the Russian in the Thomas Jane Punisher movie. He. Was unrecognizable and had zero lines.

He also got stabbed for real during their fight scene, and completely no sold it

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:35

MD2020: May 30, 2003; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Buff Bagwell was in a 90s Skinamax movie called Day of the Warrior that has Buff as a CIA agent turned criminal who wears Native American war paint who killls a guy with a piledriver, and has this IMDB trivia note that I wholeheartedly believe:

quote:

Marcus Bagwell was so dedicated to the role of "The Warrior" that he lived the part 24/7 while shooting. In fact, he even remained in character up to and including the premier, only answering to The Warrior. His tag team partner from WCW, Scotty Riggs, cashed in a favour with Bagwell who got him some minor stunt work on the film. Riggs had to be excused from his stunt duties as he had lost depth perception due to his prolonged use of an eye patch. In order to use the name "The Warrior" Marcus Bagwell attempted to convince the WCW wrestler The Warrior (formerly the Ultimate Warrior) to allow Bagwell to take over the name. He refused but Bagwell used it anyways. Bagwell had suggested to Sidaris that he have a larger role and even rewrote a 150 page draft of a new script. Sidaris rejected his script due to its lack of gratuitous shots of planes taking off and landing.

Bagwell wrote the scripts for a prequel trilogy but Sidaris unfortunately was forced to retire due to diminishing health. At his eulogy it was stated that one of his biggest regrets was not working more with Marcus Bagwell.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:38

Gavok: Oct 10, 2005; Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?

AlmightyBob posted:

John Morrison was in a movie where he gets pinned by a dog

John Morrison also played a minotaur whose head was made of cardboard.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 03:58

Technowrite: Jan 18, 2006; I first battled the Metroids on Planet Zebes.

Sting was in an episode of the Upright Citizens Brigade.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:02

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

MD2020 posted:

Buff Bagwell was in a 90s Skinamax movie called Day of the Warrior that has Buff as a CIA agent turned criminal who wears Native American war paint who killls a guy with a piledriver, and has this IMDB trivia note that I wholeheartedly believe:

I'm working my way through Andy Sidaris movies and his couple of movies are next up, looking forward to it.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:04

Bulgaroctonus: Dec 31, 2008

Stunt-Puffin posted:

My family had one of those huge black c-band satellites from the early 90's to the early oughts. They were the ones that took like 30 seconds to rotate and tune into a specific satellite (like G1), but then you'd be able to quickly surf across the 24 channels on that satellite. The best channels like HBO, Cinemax, Cartoon Network, Disney, and Nick were all spread across the 4 or 5 most popular satellites, and if you wanted to get a good sense of what was on at any given time you only had to tune into those satellites.

But, there were a bunch of other satellites out there that were effectively content deserts that hardly anyone ever tuned in to. Most of their 24 channels would be empty static but they'd have a couple of token zombie networks airing infomercials, blurry TV shows from the 60's and 70's that nobody had nostalgia for, and strange liminal programming that would discomfort rational minds.

It would have been around 2001ish when I read that one of those zombie networks, on one of those content desert satellites, had obtained a contract to air XPW's weekly show. I was a huge ECW fan at the time and I was stoked because the XPW opening montage was chock full of ECW alumni and XPW standouts doing a bunch of extreme poo poo to Five Finger Crawl. That trailer promised an abundance of hardcore wrestling action so I tuned in each week hoping to catch a crazy death match or some sick lucha libra.

What a frustrating waste of time XPW was. I don't know if they'd stopped putting on wrestling events for the year I was tuning in, but like 90% of their show was just insane stream-of-consciousness sketches that Rob Black filmed in the back of his lovely strip mall office. It was legitimately the most uncomfortable television I've ever sat through, but I sat through it each week because occasionally they'd cut away from the Rob Black power hour to a wrestling match where a philosophical homeless man would take multiple unprotected flaming chair shots to the face.

You had to sit through a lot of gutter content to get to anything interesting in XPW, but I wanted to share a lowlight that still haunts my memories to give some perspective on how bad XPW could get. It started when Rob Black found a Christmas figurine depicting a black Santa and became completely infatuated with it. He gleefully nicknamed the doll 'N-word Clause,' with a hard R, and then started talking to it each week like Al Snow used to talk to head. It was the most cavalier usage of the N-word I'd ever seen on television, yet Rob Black somehow kept this bit going for months.

Also there was a fat clown wrestler who went by the name Pogo the Clown and he painted his face to look like the child murderer John Wayne Gacy. He carried a shovel to the ring and would occasionally be shown digging holes in the forest at night.

I just wanted to watch Sabu wrestle John Kronus

I�uh. Want to watch this. Just once, kinda like Threads or Come and See (seen both multiple times but always wonder why) but those are both really good, so not sure why. I just want to embrace the suck I suppose

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:09

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Gavok posted:

John Morrison also played a minotaur whose head was made of cardboard.

oh, I liked that one

Dave Made a Maze

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:11

Flowers for QAnon: May 20, 2019

Buff bagwell was also a guest prostitute on the showtime reality series Jiggalos.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:13

Big Bad Voodoo Lou: Jan 1, 2006

Adam Copeland played Al "Atom Smasher" Rothstein, a D-list DC Comics superhero, in an episode of The Flash (except he was a villain in that episode). I never saw Dwayne Johnson's Black Adam movie, but apparently Atom Smasher was in that too, played by someone else.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:21

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

Mick Foley was charming as Thunderclap Cherokee Antwone on Squidbillies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMakFPW2Dj0

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:25

Gavok: Oct 10, 2005; Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?

Cubone posted:

oh, I liked that one

Dave Made a Maze

All right, HIGH FIVE!

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:31

David D. Davidson: Nov 17, 2012; Orca lady?

I was more referring to those weird old Mexican movies that MST3K sometimes covers. You can also find time sometimes on those trash movie and TV subscriptions that you can get on Amazon video.

There just worth checking out for just how bizarre some of them get.

https://youtu.be/Is--kTUMJ24?si=7NX6anNXa75Fhlz6

https://youtu.be/XhiHLsgzm2U?si=G8YXygqPEmWtFYyB

David D. Davidson fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Feb 14, 2024

# ? Feb 14, 2024 04:32

AlmightyBob: Sep 8, 2003

I watched Superargo recently which is sort of a Spanish/Italian coproduction ripoff of el Santo and it was clear they hired real wrestlers because they were doing real moves fairly well

# ? Feb 14, 2024 05:17

Cornwind Evil: Dec 14, 2004; The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting

Gavok posted:

John Morrison also played a minotaur whose head was made of cardboard.

He was also in an episode of Superpower Beatdown where he played Casey Jones from TMNT fighting "Kick-rear end" from Kick-rear end to the death. Casey won. It was a voted on thing. Though Superpower Beatdown actually devotes some fair effort to their little fan fights.

Lazyfire posted:

Kevin Nash as the Russian in the Thomas Jane Punisher movie. He. Was unrecognizable and had zero lines.

The ironic thing is, Nash's general personality would have fit the Russian from the comics very closely; he was a joyful manchild who also just happened to be an insane killer with mild superhuman strength and toughness. Nash could have done a bit like that, it's not that far away from his snarky nature.

Sydney Bottocks posted:

He also got stabbed for real during their fight scene, and completely no sold it

Which is extra ironic because that happened to the Russian in the comic as well and he ALSO no sold it.

(Though in the comic the knife was into the torso, while Nash got it in the shoulder. I don't think Nash would have been able to adrenaline ignore being stabbed in the gut).

Mulaney Power Move posted:

like the one where Kane has a 20 inch penis

While that part was supposedly in the script, it was not present in the actual movie itself, thank god.

Cornwind Evil fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Feb 14, 2024

# ? Feb 14, 2024 05:57

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

NorgLyle posted:

Goldberg also shows up in a completely random episode of Law & Order: SVU freaking out in the station and getting tased unconscious completely irrelevant to whatever the episode's plot is actually about.

I haven't watched much SVU but that scene has stuck in my head for years

# ? Feb 14, 2024 06:15

Beer_Suitcase: May 3, 2005; Verily, the whip is ghost riding.

Hollismason posted:

Wasn't Steve Borden in some sort of indy Romantic Comedy that was just a totally normal film. I forget the name of it and I can't find it on IMDB.

I think its The Real Reason (Men Commit Crimes).

Here it is

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160744/fullcredits?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm

I actually think I watched this.

You can't forget about Shutter Speed!

https://youtu.be/pNwBeKfGOzQ?si=0PXOnXWErXTk_bWG

# ? Feb 14, 2024 06:17

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Did Vince suggest that? It feels like a Vince suggestion.

I hate that this reminds me of Katie Vick. How I watched the whole Katie Vick saga live. And that the cheerleader outfit was signed by Trips and auctioned off. Ugh.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 06:22

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Mulaney Power Move posted:

You know if you are gonna count No Holds Barred I think that means you have to count every terrible WWE movie, like the one where Kane has a 20 inch penis or all the ones where Miz plays a marine

Then does that include the cartoons where they met Scooby-Doo and raced monster trucks for some reason

# ? Feb 14, 2024 06:59

Bushmeister: Nov 27, 2007; Son Of Northern Frostbitten Wintermoon

Mick Foley has a bit part as a redneck drug kingpin in the horror-comedy 12 Hour Shift, also featuring former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10309552/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_11_act

Mick says "gently caress" in the film IIRC

# ? Feb 14, 2024 07:37

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

Mick Foley's greatest cameo is as Cactus Sac in the seminal Detroit rap exploitation film, "Big Money Hustlas"

also like half the guys at the local wrestling promo I go see are at least JCW-adjacent and they put on a great show

# ? Feb 14, 2024 07:40

Cornwind Evil: Dec 14, 2004; The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting

MrQwerty posted:

Mick Foley's greatest cameo is as Cactus Sac in the seminal Detroit rap exploitation film, "Big Money Hustlas"

also like half the guys at the local wrestling promo I go see are at least JCW-adjacent and they put on a great show

Which, as he said in his book (one of the first two), was his excuse to get a SAG card.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 08:33

Archer666: Dec 27, 2008

Speaking of wrestlers in movies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbMOF73xVeA

# ? Feb 14, 2024 08:36

im saint germain: Jan 30, 2021; i've come from the future to tell you all we have to stop party rock before it returns

Goldberg is unintentionally funny as host on Knife or Death, which has plenty of amusing moments overall. What a terribly produced show

# ? Feb 14, 2024 09:34

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

FullLeatherJacket posted:

whole lotta people overlooking Roddy Piper starring in one of the all-time classics

and when he'd finished on Hell Comes To Frogtown he found time to make They Live as well

Hell Comes to Frogtown is a great watch. I haven�t seen Return to Frogtown or Max Hell Frog Warrior but since they don�t have Piper in them I assume they can�t be as good

# ? Feb 14, 2024 09:53

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

Jamesman posted:

Wait, Goldberg is Jewish?

he's jewish and before he went with his last name as his wrestler name he wanted to go by mossad

# ? Feb 14, 2024 12:39

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

he's jewish and before he went with his last name as his wrestler name he wanted to go by mossad

lmao

# ? Feb 14, 2024 12:43

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 18:41

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

Captain Lou Albano was Mario, of course, but he also played a wrestler on an episode of Hey Dude

# ? Feb 14, 2024 12:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > WWE: finn balor worked himself into a shoot and the shoot is wrestling

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