r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Larry Cum Free: Jun 3, 2022; move it or lose it dillweed

Shanghaied posted:

At least she's ~~meeting~~ getting measles from other kids, I guess, but goddam you Americans with your homeschooling.

e: bad snipe so here's a heartwarming Valentine's Day tale!

Cheating boyfriend wants a second chance

quote:

Today is Valentine�s day and my boyfriend told me he cheated on me with a sex worker. He also told me he was diagnosed with Gonorrhea yesterday. I thought he was going to surprise me today, well he did but I didn�t expect it to be this. He went to my house early in the morning so he could talk about it with me and he immediately brought me to the doctor for treatment. He told me he is willing to pay all the treatment needed.

I didn�t really expect for this to happen to me. We were together for more than 5 years. We were even planning to get married this year. This is the first time he did this to me. I asked him why? If he loves me, he wouldn�t do that to me. He said that it was out of curiosity and he was stupid to do that.

I told him if he wasn�t diagnosed with Gonorrhea, he wouldn�t tell me he cheated on me and he said yes. I also asked him if he did regret doing that and he said no but after what happened to him, he feels ashamed of himself because he gave me Gonorrhea. He said that I didn�t deserve it.

I don�t know what to do, been crying for hours. What should I do? I gave him my all. I was ready to get married to him. We even have a house ready already. He kept saying that he was sorry and the moment he was diagnosed, I�m the first thing that popped up on his mind was me. He also said that he is willing to do everything to gain my trust again and will accept any punishment I will give him. He also kept on saying that he will never do it again and he took me for granted.

TLDR: My boyfriend told me he cheated on me with a sex worker. He also told me he was diagnosed with Gonorrhea yesterday. He is willing to pay for my treatment and is asking for my forgiveness. What should I do?

Curiosity gave the cat and the cat's girlfriend gonnorhea

Larry Cum Free fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Feb 14, 2024

# ? Feb 14, 2024 22:51

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 04:36

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Hey, I went to some co-ops when I read younger, and I turned out

# ? Feb 14, 2024 22:54

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

quote:

DEAR ABBY: I let a friend who was going through a hard time stay on my couch when he would get too drunk to drive. Eleven years later, he�s still here. I told him from the beginning not to get hooked or fall in love with me, because I knew I would never feel the same.

He has taken over my home with his collections but won�t sell anything. He also doesn�t pay any bills. I do not like his drinking. I am sober. He yells and screams for sex, but I don�t give in. I told him he needs to move on.

I�m on disability and a fixed income. Legal eviction? Restraining order? He has threatened to walk away and leave me to deal with all his junk. Help! -- INVADED IN MISSOURI

DEAR INVADED: You have been too kind for far too long. Before doing anything, talk with an attorney because of the length of time you have allowed this person to live with you (rent-free). If you can�t afford legal counsel, reach out to your local Legal Aid or Legal Services office.

If the freeloader agrees to go, leaving his �collections� behind, you may be able to sell or donate the items. Should he refuse to leave your home, you may have to formally evict him which, depending upon the laws in your state, could be complicated without legal guidance.

Eleven years, folks.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 22:58

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

That has got to be one of those twist ones where the roommate is an exceptionally ficked up parrot or something

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:02

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

420 Gank Mid posted:

Was she your wife before or after this conversation happened because the idea of marrying someone without knowing their kinks is like marrying someone without knowing how much debt they have or any deadly food allergy they have

We were married already. It's fun to learn new things/kinks about your partner and explore with them together. People change over their lifetime, and things we did in our twenties are not the same after having children and other life events.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:03

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMwFWDIFVCU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulteZYyWAA8

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:03

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

trickybiscuits posted:

Eleven years, folks.

They're on disability, I'm assuming from a missing spine.

Larry Cum Free posted:

the moment he was diagnosed, I’m the first thing that popped up on his mind was me

"Thinking of you ♥"

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:06

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

trickybiscuits posted:

Eleven years, folks.

r/relationships: He yells and screams for sex, but I don�t give in

imagine someone living in your couch for so long you get common-law married

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:09

420 Gank Mid: Dec 26, 2008; WARNING: This poster is a huge bitch!

Nocheez posted:

We were married already. It's fun to learn new things/kinks about your partner and explore with them together. People change over their lifetime, and things we did in our twenties are not the same after having children and other life events.

Fair enough it's good to stay on top of things I guess

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:11

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

trickybiscuits posted:

Eleven years, folks.

Yeah no I'm gonna need to know what his "collection" consists of.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:20

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023

Electric Wrigglies posted:

tall and unwashed rear end

Hey now don't make fun of me.

# ? Feb 14, 2024 23:27

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

Shanghaied posted:

Yeah no I'm gonna need to know what his "collection" consists of.

Water bottles filled with aged piss

# ? Feb 15, 2024 03:08

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

I (28F) found out my dad is dumping Mom for my best friend (25F) and I don't know how to cope.

quote:

Last night my Dad left me a voicemail on my cellphone saying "I'm dumping Mom soon, getting with Kayla, me and your Mom was good, but for me it was getting too much hard work, too stressful, with Kayla everything's better."

I've known Kayla for 6 years now, she's an American expat living in Canada (well, Toronto). She moved here from Dallas, Texas, and we became firm friends; met in college.

Anyway, I feel angry, bitter and crushed. My dad keeps preaching about honesty/loyalty in relationships and then he does this?

Is he a hypocrite?

I haven't told my Mom but she doesn't know yet.

I thouight I had a good relationship with my Dad now I'm questioning the whole thing.

Kayla's already posted profile pics of herself on Instagram with my dad, including her wearing a bikini and cuddling up to my dad on the boot of some SUV in a carpark (WTH, WTF??) On her Instagram one photo of her cuddling up to my Dad says:

He's mine... leaving his wife FOR ME!!!! hashtagcouple hashtagsexytimes hashtaghotandsexy

I don't know what to feel, and don't have a great support network, my sister lives in Los Angeles (my sister's 32/F) and I don't see her often due to distance.

I want help and advice on how to cope, this is all a shock to me.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 03:36

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

AceClown posted:

"THANK gently caress IT'S NOT FEET!!! YESSSS!"

# ? Feb 15, 2024 03:48

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Space Kablooey posted:

r/relationships: He yells and screams for sex, but I don�t give in

An arrest and restraining order would get this person out of the house, at least for a while. But there's a lot of information missing. Could be awful, could be hilariously dumb.

Here's an interesting one. The same letter, answered by two different columnists.

The letter:

quote:

Three years ago, our then��2-year-old daughter was in an accident that resulted in her losing two fingers while visiting my family for the first time without us. Her father and I went through a very rough patch as a couple due to the fact that he was against her going in the first place, but we got through it. Now, my mom, who moved out of state recently, is coming to visit relatives back home and asked if our daughter could visit and stay while she is here. Due to a scheduling conflict, neither of us would be able to go with our daughter, so we would be sending her by herself.

My mom has asked several times since the accident, but I�ve always gently shut her down out of respect for my partner because he still feels the same as he did three years ago. I feel terrible, but she hasn�t really gotten the hint that it�s a contentious issue, and she just keeps asking. I am now at a place where I am reasonably comfortable with our daughter visiting without us being there, but he is not, and it is causing conflict. What should I do? My stress level is really high because I want to please both of them, but I don�t think I can.

Dear Prudence (written by Carvell Wallace)

quote:

You are right�you cannot please both of them. Which is a tremendous gift because it gives you the freedom to worry only about pleasing yourself. I can see how that might feel difficult under the circumstances, but I can assure you it�s entirely appropriate.

What happened to your daughter is not your fault. You may know that, but it needs to be said again and again, because shame and regret like this reaches so deeply inside of who we are that it needs to be weeded out regularly. Left unattended, it grows back and strangles us from the inside. What happened to your daughter is not your fault. I know this because every day, all around the planet, millions of parenting couples send their kids on adventures that one of them is less certain about than the other. And most of those kids come back unharmed. What happened to your daughter has nothing to do with the fact that you sent her to stay with her relatives when your partner didn�t want to. It has nothing to do with anything other than terrible luck. So keeping your daughter from staying with your mom does not guarantee her safety any more than never using a gas stove guarantees the safety of someone who was once burned in a fire.

If you are ready for your mother to see your daughter, then you are ready. It is my guess that your mother is not as oblivious as you think. She knows what happened, and I can guess that she has a pretty good idea of how you guys feel about it. But she wants to have a relationship with her granddaughter, and she is just gently working the edge until you relent. Your partner is understandably having a difficult time, but his way of dealing with this�punishing your family by making sure they never get to see your daughter alone�strikes me as misguided. He has a lot to work through to come to terms with this horrible event. It sounds to me as though you both do. Here is a place where, if it is available to you, therapy may help. When we are traumatized by an event we play it over and over and see its possibility everywhere we look. There are methods for processing and dealing with these things so that we stop reliving them, allow them to metabolize and move on, and as a result reform a working and healthy relationship with reality. I think this would be helpful to both of you.

What you should do is seek therapy for the both of you to address this lingering trauma, and if you feel ready to send her, then tell your partner that you�re ready for your daughter to spend a night with your mom and that it�s going to happen. Good luck.

Carolyn Hax

quote:

�Mom, I am sorry to disappoint you. [Daughter] won�t be visiting anyone unaccompanied by us for the indefinite future. The accident left a lasting impression on [Partner] and I respect that enough not to force the issue.�

That�s it. There�s an argument to be made for not naming your partner as the one standing in the way, because you don�t want to make it easy for people to single him out. However, you are apparently close enough to your mother � and your partner�s reservations are reasonable enough � that, on balance, it�s worth just putting things to rest with the truth.

This also isn�t a matter of your �pleasing� anybody. That�s not your job. Your primary job, as long as your child is a minor, is to be a responsible parent. Your secondary responsibility is to be a respectful partner. These top your list because they�re roles you knowingly assumed, and so you must fulfill them in as healthy a way as possible. Whether your choices ultimately please anyone is simply a collateral benefit.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:03

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Boy I wanna know what that accident was and how it may or may not have related to the dad not wanting the child to visit the mother's parents unaccompanied.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:06

mystes: May 31, 2006

I googled it and they also got an answer from another advice column here: https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/08/parenting-advice-on-grandmas-house-being-unsafe-for-kids.html

quote:

Dear WCID,

This is awful, I�m so sorry! What a terrible accident, and what a difficult situation. I think your partner is perfectly within his ancestral parenting rights to insist on his �one no� vetoing unsupervised trips to your family, and that�s just the way the cookie crumbles.* She�s still young enough to need a lot of supervision and oversight, and you can rehash again in a few years.
She�ll be upset! She�ll probably cry. It�s going to be unpleasant. Life sucks.

You need to be honest with your mother. I�m surprised that she hasn�t yet figured out why she can�t have your daughter back without one of her parents tagging along. I�d like to see you have a firm talk about how the two of you would rather not have her visit solo until she�s �at least a few years older.� You can pair this with an invitation for her to come out for a week or with a suggestion that you and your daughter fly out at her soonest convenience. The emphasis here can be on what WILL work, not what won�t. Please be careful not to cast your husband as the bad guy here: This is a time when a couple needs to vote as a bloc.

If your mother pushes and pushes and asks but why can�t she come solo (even after being told �because that�s what works for our family� at least three straight times), that�s when you can tell her the truth. She�ll be upset! She�ll probably cry. It�s going to be unpleasant. Life sucks.

The situation you really don�t want is one where it sounds like you prize your mother�s feelings over your husband�s genuine discomfort for a safety issue involving his own child.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:12

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Like holy poo poo does she ever gloss over an accident that caused a toddler to lose two fingers.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:21

mystes: May 31, 2006

I can understand them not wanting to go into details but if it's a complete freak accident that nobody could have anticipated I do think they should have at least explicitly said that?

Also unless there was additional information provided to the columnists aside from the published letter the Dear Prudence answer just seems crazy in terms of reading in stuff that wasn't in the actual letter and framing it in terms of the parent who wrote the letter needing to overcome their own feelings of guilt

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:24

Wicked Them Beats: Apr 1, 2007; Moralists don't really *have* beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child's toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded.

trickybiscuits posted:

Dear Prudence (written by Carvell Wallace)

This guy is awful. What terrible advice. "Just steamroll your partner. No, I don't need any details about the accident, grandma deserves her grandbaby time!"

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:25

Stefan Prodan: Jan 7, 2002; I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!; Grimey Drawer

Wicked Them Beats posted:

This guy is awful. What terrible advice. "Just steamroll your partner. No, I don't need any details about the accident, grandma deserves her grandbaby time!"

that baby has 8 fingers left so she is going to see grandma at least 4 more times

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:26

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

mystes posted:

I can understand them not wanting to go into details but if it's a complete freak accident that nobody could have anticipated I do think they should have said that?

Also unless there was additional information provided aside from the published letter the Dear Prudence answer just seems crazy in terms of reading in stuff that wasn't in the actual letter

Yeah the way it's written, it just reads as if the husband was completely correct. He was against her going in the first place for reasons she doesn't mention, the kid goes, the kid gets injured.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:27

Cerekk: Sep 24, 2004; Oh my god, JC!

Really need to know which fingers they were. Index, thumb? Ok I get it. But a couple pinkies? Small price to pay t get the kid out of the house tbh.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:29

mystes: May 31, 2006

Even if it was like, I don't know, a very small meteor took out the kid's fingers and nobody could have predicted or stopped it, I still think it's reasonable for the dad to be like "hey after that accident I don't think our kid should visit relatives without us present"

Like it's not like they're saying the grandparents can't see the kid at all or something as far as I can tell

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:31

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Cythereal posted:

I (28F) found out my dad is dumping Mom for my best friend (25F) and I don't know how to cope.

Can't help but chuckle at

quote:

living in Canada (well, Toronto).

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:32

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

The kid knew was she was getting into when she snitched on the yakuza

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:32

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

mystes posted:

Even if it was like, I don't know, a very small meteor took out the kid's fingers and nobody could have predicted or stopped it, I still think it's reasonable for the dad to be like "hey after that accident I don't think our kid should visit relatives without us present"

Like it's not like they're saying the grandparents can't see the kid at all or something as far as I can tell

Well it's a family tradition, everybody puts their fingers in a bowl...

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:33

mystes: May 31, 2006

I do wonder if there was additional information, though, because "What happened to your daughter has nothing to do with the fact that you sent her to stay with her relatives when your partner didn�t want to" doesn't seem like something any reasonable person would be comfortable writing based solely on the letter?

They just said it was an "accident" and that could include things like the grandparents causing a car accident. You would think that the letter would specify in that case, but you would also think they would specify if it was clearly nobody's fault so it just seems weird.

I would really hope that advice columnists wouldn't just approach it like average reddit commenters and make up a whole imaginary backstory with no basis but maybe that's giving them too much credit

mystes fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Feb 15, 2024

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:34

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Mx. posted:

The kid knew was she was getting into when she snitched on the yakuza

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

mystes posted:

I do wonder if there was additional information, though, because "What happened to your daughter has nothing to do with the fact that you sent her to stay with her relatives when your partner didn�t want to" doesn't seem like something any reasonable person would be comfortable writing based solely on the letter?

They just said it was an "accident" and that could include things like the grandparents causing a car accident

Yeah that feels like making stuff up. The accident could have been like "My parents keep a bunch of dangerous poo poo around the house and the toddler got into it and lost fingers." There's lots of dangerous things the grandparents could do without the intent of harming their grandkid that could result in harm.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 04:37

Antioch: Apr 18, 2003

Grandpa's collection of rusty cigar cutters left haphazardly in easy to reach places.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 05:38

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

mystes posted:

I do wonder if there was additional information, though, because "What happened to your daughter has nothing to do with the fact that you sent her to stay with her relatives when your partner didn�t want to" doesn't seem like something any reasonable person would be comfortable writing based solely on the letter?

They just said it was an "accident" and that could include things like the grandparents causing a car accident. You would think that the letter would specify in that case, but you would also think they would specify if it was clearly nobody's fault so it just seems weird.

I would really hope that advice columnists wouldn't just approach it like average reddit commenters and make up a whole imaginary backstory with no basis but maybe that's giving them too much credit

Turns out there's not a lot of qualifications for the job beyond reliably generating ad impressions and not scaring fingee-losing weirdos away from writing in

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:00

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

No matter how bad it was the kid can't rate the visit with Grandma thumbs down

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:04

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Maybe the kid flipped em off and found out

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:34

Prism: Dec 22, 2007; yospos

wheatpuppy posted:

Can't help but chuckle at

That's fair. Toronto really, really wants to be a big American city.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:35

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Prism posted:

That's fair. Toronto really, really wants to be a big American city.

# ? Feb 15, 2024 06:44

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Knormal posted:

"No honey you mis-heard me, I said Peggle."

i didnt know dougdoug was a goon

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:23

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

I guess everything old really is new again.

The (39M) guy I’ve (35F) been seeing gave me smelling salts last night.

quote:

The guy (39M) I’ve (35F) been seeing gave me smelling salts last night.

We have been seeing each other for 2 months.

When I crashed at his place last night, I excitedly told him that I had something for him. He told me he had something for me too and then told me to close my eyes.

Then he opened a bottle of smelling salts and put them under my nose. I got really upset and left.

He’s apologized profusely, saying that he genuinely didn’t think I’d react the way that I did because none of his other friends had gotten upset when he did it to them. I snapped that I’m not like his other friends. As I was leaving, he asked if I wanted to bring the valentines flowers he’d gotten me with me and I said no.

He’s still upset at my reaction and I’m still upset that he tricked me into thinking I was getting a valentines gift and instead hit me with a stimulant. I’m not sure I want to keep seeing him.

Am I over reacting about the joke or was it really not a big deal?

Tl;dr my not quite boyfriend tricked me into closing my eyes and giving me smelling salts as a joke

# ? Feb 15, 2024 07:38

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

deety posted:

I guess everything old really is new again.

The (39M) guy I’ve (35F) been seeing gave me smelling salts last night.

yeah this is a lovely social media "prank" that's been going round for a while now

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:07

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 04:36

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

are people doing smelling salts like lovely whippits now or what

# ? Feb 15, 2024 08:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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