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remigious posted:I’m insanely jealous. My son still says “I need to poop” when he, in fact, already pooped his diaper. We just can’t seem to drive home that he needs to tell us before he poops. Same - we've managed to catch most of the home-poops because she just freezes and gets a thousand-yard-stare but getting her to tell us that it's coming still isn't there and I don't think she's successfully pooped in the potty at daycare yet. Absolutely crushing peeing in the potty though
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Feb 13, 2024 22:18
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Hadlock posted:Last night: I almost got there. Toddler: I need to poop Me: awesome! Thanks for telling me bud! Let’s go do it on the potty! Let’s go! Yay! You get a big toy! Toddler: NOOO Me: let’s go! Toddler: GO AWAY IM POOPING. BACK OFF. LEAVE ME ALONE He hides behind his tent, staring at me and doing poop face the entire time. I pause the television show. Toddler: why did you pause it? Me: Because you’re pooping Toddler: I want to watch it while I’m pooping Me: Okay if you poop on the potty you can watch as much TV while you’re pooping as you want. If you poop in your diaper I’m gonna pause it until we get it all cleaned up. So much poop talk. “My butt is so poopy. What a mess.” “Poop is stinky” “Can I touch my butt?” No do not touch your butt!
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Feb 13, 2024 22:26
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Hadlock posted:Last night: Tbh I like the poop diapers cause it means that the kid will be chill and sleep better at night. He's also only a year old.
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Feb 13, 2024 22:46
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Wife to me on messenger: she's pissing me off today (daughter) Daughter, 9, who reads at about 8th grade level, seeing this message almost immediately as I flipped from messenger to another tab on my laptop: " Pissed? PISSED? Pissed in the Abyss!" *giggles hysterically* "I'm pissed pissed pissed to the Abyss" She's having a blast at this to my wife's expense.
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Feb 13, 2024 23:06
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Koivunen posted:We are trying a new bedtime routine and it’s been going well. I used to have my 4yo watch a “wind-down” TV show while I put the 2yo to bed, then would put her to bed after. However it started taking FOREVER because the 2yo wants to babble and make noise, then the 4yo wants a million stories and to talk about everything they’ve ever thought of. Lol tried this playlist just in the background for bedtime and kiddo skipped reading books and just drifted off to sleep in about ten minutes. We used to use Moonlight Sonata as his falling asleep music, though, so he has strong sleep associations with calm piano music.
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Feb 14, 2024 06:14
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Are there any recommended limits on audiobooks the way there are for screen time? My 4.5 year old fuckin loves them now, could listen to audiobooks for hours. But of course anything that keeps her occupied kinda feels like cheating, and we definitely had some behavioral issues when she first entered this phase as she got obsessed and wanted to do nothing else. I'm wondering if there are guidelines from professionals about this; couldn't find anything online.
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Feb 14, 2024 13:21
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Guildencrantz posted:Are there any recommended limits on audiobooks the way there are for screen time? My 4.5 year old fuckin loves them now, could listen to audiobooks for hours. But of course anything that keeps her occupied kinda feels like cheating, and we definitely had some behavioral issues when she first entered this phase as she got obsessed and wanted to do nothing else. I'm wondering if there are guidelines from professionals about this; couldn't find anything online. This isn't about audiobooks exactly, but everything we've read re: screens etc. has been emphasizing that it's the passivity that isn't great. If your kid is just sitting there gorked out and watching the pictures move they're not exercising the parts of their brain that they need to be working on, which isn't great for them developmentally. This is also why the recommendations change at different ages - the kind of mental stimulation that a 3 month old needs is very different from what a 7 year old needs, and at a certain point watching TV can actually be good if it's generating some conversation or making them think about things. My two cents would be that it's probably not a big deal unless she's sinking so much time into them that she's neglecting doing other things that give her a mental workout or work on her spatial acuity etc.
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Feb 14, 2024 14:20
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So glad my son has decided he doesn’t like blueberries at all anymore, after we bought 2 jumbo containers for him.
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Feb 14, 2024 19:07
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Dazerbeams posted:So glad my son has decided he doesn’t like blueberries at all anymore, after we bought 2 jumbo containers for him. Same haha. My kid also will always ask for grapes and if I buy them she then decides they are "stunky" (stinky and yucky)
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Feb 14, 2024 19:11
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Dazerbeams posted:So glad my son has decided he doesn’t like blueberries at all anymore, after we bought 2 jumbo containers for him. Freeze them? hallo spacedog posted:Same haha. My kid also will always ask for grapes and if I buy them she then decides they are "stunky" (stinky and yucky) 
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Feb 14, 2024 19:36
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Love to have the three old home from daycare with diarrhea. Also love to hear him tell the story of how his friends found diarrhea in the sandbox and touched it. I’m sure there is no connection whatsoever.
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Feb 14, 2024 19:36
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Muir posted:Freeze them? That's what I always think about when she says it too. Not sure where she came up with it!
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Feb 14, 2024 19:39
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King Hong Kong posted:Love to have the three old home from daycare with diarrhea. Also love to hear him tell the story of how his friends found diarrhea in the sandbox and touched it. I’m sure there is no connection whatsoever. A kid on our preschool (at 3.5) sneaky-pooped in the playground, and encouraged the other kids to touch it. Not diarrhea, but hearing about it certainly triggered my yuck nerves. My kid is too old to fall for that, but another 3-year-old actually touched it. Sometimes difficult to spot the future-ADHD-haver in a class, and sometimes it's easy...
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Feb 14, 2024 20:31
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:This isn't about audiobooks exactly, but everything we've read re: screens etc. has been emphasizing that it's the passivity that isn't great. If your kid is just sitting there gorked out and watching the pictures move they're not exercising the parts of their brain that they need to be working on, which isn't great for them developmentally. This is also why the recommendations change at different ages - the kind of mental stimulation that a 3 month old needs is very different from what a 7 year old needs, and at a certain point watching TV can actually be good if it's generating some conversation or making them think about things. That's my understanding too. There's not a direct harm from screens but an opportunity cost. So in this case with audio books, it's only a problem if it's crowding out other parts of life. Things that would make me comfortable with it is if they're engaged, talking to you about what they're listening to, drawing pictures of it, etc. What would make me worried is if they're just zoned out and it's disconnected from the rest of life. After my newborn came, my 2.5 year old started getting really into Daniel Tiger and watches more than we'd really like, just because we don't have as much time to focus on and play with her. But she uses the songs and emotions the show talks about when telling me about what happens with her friends at daycare so I'm not too worried.
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Feb 14, 2024 20:36
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My kid (five years old) watches a lot of TV, to the point where I feel like a lovely parent sometimes for allowing so much screen time. But something that’s important to me is that she always accepts when we tell her it’s time to pause or turn it off, and will do it herself when she feels she’s had enough. And it also helps that her current obsession is the 90s Magic School Bus show, so she is all gung-ho curious with questions about molecules and anatomy that we get to talk about later. We made a little light-box crafting project the other day that was featured in an episode about optics.
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Feb 14, 2024 20:48
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My kid undoubtedly watches too much tv as well. But there’s only so much I can mom guilt myself about, and the tv isn’t one of them. He’s super into Lucas the Spider and it’s so freaking cute watching my son dance and make up his own songs like Lucas does. I am sure my opinion about the tv will change once he gets into something really obnoxious (loving blippi!!)
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Feb 14, 2024 21:20
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Re: obnoxious TV, I'm setting up my own plex server so the streaming algorithm can stop recommending her poo poo, and so far it is going very well. But a couple of her friends at preschool are big into Paw Patrol and I'm not looking forward to that spreading into our house.
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Feb 14, 2024 22:51
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Socialization question for you fine folks - I'd like your anecdata.  My daughter is almost four, and is in pre-school right now in a Montessori program that I like. It's a fairly low-budget school, but that's a good thing to me. No tablets, everything's simple, and importantly, she is not surrounded by entitled little techbro children. She's the only Caucasian student in her class, but that's not a bad thing IMO, pretty normal for this town in terms of demographics, and the majority of her class speak English fluently. She can continue preschool again next year (I'm already enrolling her for summer session) at the same school, or she could enter the public school TK program. The public school TK program has a few things I'm not sure about with it, though. First is that she'd be going from about 8 kids per class room to 20-35 depending on the school she is accepted into. We have a school literally across the street from us who would likely be given to her, but you're only guaranteed one in the town, not the one most local to you. The other thing, though, is that all the schools near us are either Spanish bilingual alternative programs or dual-language immersion with focus on getting Spanish speakers capable in English. She speaks English only currently. Sure, it'd be kind of cool if she got an early head start on Spanish, but I'm a little nervous about her socialization outside of the core classroom element. Based on the provided demographics for the school across the street, a 30 person TK classroom would have 1-3 total English-primary kids, with rest being Spanish-primary, and a >50% being English-insufficient. The pessimist in me sees her being isolated from her classmates simply by language barrier and the rest having plenty of easier kids to play with at recess than that one girl who doesn't speak the same language as the rest of them. Meanwhile, I like her current school and the two main teachers are pretty great. I prefer the societal idea of having more kids in public school and fewer private schools, but I also don't want to set my daughter up for a miserable time, bullying, or isolation from her classmates. I am a parent, therefore I am catastrophizing. Anyone had a similar experience and have thoughts on this?
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Feb 14, 2024 23:22
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Going from 8 to 25 kids means, on average, you're gonna be sick 3x as often. I would push that waterfall event as far into the future as possible all other things being even
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Feb 15, 2024 01:25
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I seriously doubt that (3x more sick) - viruses don't work that way. That chance of your kid getting the latest thing goes up (more hosts to infect each other), but it doesn't mean there's 3x as many types of colds out there that you will get.
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Feb 15, 2024 01:45
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I’d keep your kid in a situation that is working for her rather than roll the dice on an unknown. If it doesn’t work out, there’s gonna be chaos and scrambling and probably guilt. If the current school DOESN’T work, then yeah give the public one a shot. But if everyone is happy and the finances are fine, imo why mess with it?
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Feb 15, 2024 02:44
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3x more kids with 6x more extended families meeting up for birthdays and holidays 
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Feb 15, 2024 02:46
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Sundae posted:The other thing, though, is that all the schools near us are either Spanish bilingual alternative programs or dual-language immersion with focus on getting Spanish speakers capable in English. She speaks English only currently. Sure, it'd be kind of cool if she got an early head start on Spanish, but I'm a little nervous about her socialization outside of the core classroom element. Based on the provided demographics for the school across the street, a 30 person TK classroom would have 1-3 total English-primary kids, with rest being Spanish-primary, and a >50% being English-insufficient. I would be less worried about socialization and more worried about the quality of her education. If the teachers are working in that heavy of an ESL environment they are going to have a lot of things to focus on just trying to get their students up to an acceptable level of English fluency.
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Feb 15, 2024 03:04
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remigious posted:My kid undoubtedly watches too much tv as well. But there’s only so much I can mom guilt myself about, and the tv isn’t one of them. He’s super into Lucas the Spider and it’s so freaking cute watching my son dance and make up his own songs like Lucas does. I am sure my opinion about the tv will change once he gets into something really obnoxious (loving blippi!!) Yea, I try to be an active tv watcher with my kiddo when we wind down for the day. I can guide her to good content, and there’s lots of pausing and explaining. Like, a song about lungs leads to a talk about belly breathing, blowing out candles and the concept of air. And then she’ll later scream “lungs!!!” While pantomiming blowing out candles. This seems fine to me at 3yo, in reasonable if frequent amounts. We don’t watch any videos of toy openings, weird families doing YouTube stuff or asmry content. Hamster mazes are iffy.
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Feb 15, 2024 05:34
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We're doing our first 'big' road trip, out to Las Vegas, with our almost 3 y.o. this weekend, so that'll be exciting. I plan on the usual 4.5 hour drive to be a bit longer but I'm sure it'll be good. It's also going to be his first time in the desert where he can walk and explore a bit while we're out at some of the parks.
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Feb 15, 2024 05:48
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It takes longer and requires lots more conscious safety work but golly gee whiz cooking with a kid is so fun when they’re into it. Made soufflés for a valentines dinner at home and watching the kid pick up names/recipe steps (daddy can I help put the cheese in the bay-shu-smell sauce?) and getting hyped about how air and motion turns egg whites from yucky goop to shiny, fluffy white stuff was really rewarding.
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Feb 15, 2024 08:16
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Ugh re: screentime chat, my kid (4) just watches crap on YouTube kids that we really don’t monitor at all. I have tried to suggest he watch Bluey or Sesame Street or something vaguely educational but not sure how to make it happen. I’m afraid he would freak the gently caress out if we took the YouTube kids app off the tablet.
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Feb 15, 2024 13:34
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I don’t want to be a sanctimommy but you asked for advice which I take as a sign you’re dreading the inevitable: A 4 year old does not need unsupervised access to a tablet to thrive. Hence, you have the option of taking it away entirely unless he accepts that you are in charge of the content. Just so you’re aware that you have that option as leverage in your negotiations. “I’m taking away the YouTube app and deciding which show you watch. If you don’t like it, you don’t get the tablet anymore.” There’ll be yelling and telling you that he hates you and etc, but it’ll be temporary. In the end you will be the one in control, which you have to be. IMO if you see a problem with the content he’s watching, it is your responsibility to act. If it’s difficult to supervise/curate content on the tablet, put him in front of the TV. That’s what we’ve done; we don’t own a tablet and it’s working well at 5. Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Feb 15, 2024 |
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Feb 15, 2024 13:50
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:I don’t want to be a sanctimommy but you asked for advice which I take as a sign you’re dreading the inevitable: I've been reading your posts for the past few years and keep seeing you use words like "thrive" and "benefit" and "developmentally useful" when you talk about screen time (or really any activity) so I'll ask you again: Blinkz0rz posted:Why does everything a kid do have to be developmentally "useful"?
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Feb 15, 2024 14:49
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Blinkz0rz posted:I've been reading your posts for the past few years and keep seeing you use words like "thrive" and "benefit" and "developmentally useful" when you talk about screen time (or really any activity) so I'll ask you again: Look, this isn't a debate club. Feel free to give opposite advice to mine. I don't think we need to come to an agreement on how to parent, and neither does either of us have to "win". I think it's good for people who seek advice to be offered a plurality of perspectives.
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Feb 15, 2024 14:57
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For what it's worth, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to curate what your kid watches a bit so that they're getting better stuff. I didn't turn into a serial killer or drop out of high school because I watched too much Ninja Turtles, but there's also a pretty clear difference between some of the really weird YT crap out there and something like Daniel Tiger. Wanting to pump the brakes a little bit on your kid drinking from the algorithm's firehose and trying to steer them towards something that at a bare minimum has a nice, positive message is just being a concerned, involved parent. Hippie Hedgehog posted:
A TV also has the benefit (and down side) of being non-portable. It can help to make TV something that is done in a specific place, rather than something that is potentially always on tap, no matter where you are.
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Feb 15, 2024 15:05
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Also if you want to make a change and the only reason you aren't is because your kid will throw a fit....yeah, kids do that. You get through it and move on. Better to learn and teach them how to manage disappointment now than dealing with a teen who never has learned that.
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Feb 15, 2024 15:09
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I get it, because there's a world of useless poo poo out there and it's our job to help the kids navigate that. And it's also our job to create a place of comfortable emotional retreat for our kids. And the balancing act there is constant, so I do think it's valuable to have multiple "foci" represented in the thread. One's own parenting decisions will necessarily end up somewhere in the in-between and it's nice to have rational underpinnings to explain those decisions to oneself as a parent, and also to the kid so it seems less arbitrary.
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Feb 15, 2024 15:10
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Even my partner and I disagree a bit on the tv/tablet issue: she grew up in a “no tv” family and I did in a “you can watch tv as long as you don’t have homework/bath waiting” one which meant practically unlimited tv time and out reference points are very different. We do try to curate tv time heavily tho. I won’t allow any copaganda like paw patrol, firebuds or super kitties, and YouTube algo is 100% out of question. Tablet is only for travel, and tv stays in one place, etc. I know it’s not in everybody’s budget, but something like Yoto that deemphasizes screen and allows you to control the pool while providing the kid with agency has been working out well for us and our 4yo so far. To echo the above comment, this is not a rule to stick by—it’s just another perspective to help other parents make their own decisions.
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Feb 15, 2024 15:22
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gbut posted:Even my partner and I disagree a bit on the tv/tablet issue: she grew up in a “no tv” family and I did in a “you can watch tv as long as you don’t have homework/bath waiting” one which meant practically unlimited tv time and out reference points are very different. Yoto seems cool but if you're on a budget, we've been getting by well enough with a simple bluetooth speaker and kids' programming from various apps (spotify, local public radio, etc). Audio stories have been a lifesaver on long trips!
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Feb 15, 2024 17:08
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my 6 and 3 year olds have their own tablets, but they're locked down with apple configurator to only the PBS kids video/game apps, the sago mini school/world apps and the 3YO also has a a few standalone daniel tiger apps, so I don't need to worry about what they're doing. As for time, it's really loosey goosey, some weeks my wife and I are just drained so there's a lot of it. Other weeks we have the energy to be engaging and active and we might go days without screen time. In conclusion, parenting is a land of contrasts.
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Feb 15, 2024 17:10
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My son has a tablet that I keep in airplane mode with two apps on it, and he only gets to use it when he sits on the potty. The good news is, it is working for the purpose of getting him to sit on the potty. The bad news is he still doesn’t get that he needs to actually pee and poop in the potty. I think I’m going to try the no diaper/no pants method over the upcoming long weekend.
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Feb 15, 2024 18:23
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Aww, that reminds me of when my daughter was first using the potty, one of the things that worked amazingly well was "food ones" as she called it, which was just me handing her my phone with Instagram scrolling through food-related reels. She LOVED this for some reason, seeing people decorate cakes or make chimichurri steak fajitas while she was dropping a deuce. Whatever works.
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Feb 15, 2024 19:22
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I've repeatedly seen parents say that their kids freaked out about losing something off of a tablet much more than losing something off of a TV. The tablet format makes it feel more like it is theirs while the TV feels more communal or a feature of the house. Maybe you could move YouTube Kids over to a TV for a bit before completely cutting it off?
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Feb 15, 2024 19:45
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I don’t have a hard line against ‘screen time’ as a thing, but I absolutely do have a hard line against unsupervised, unmonitored, uncurated exposure to the wilds of the internet. We’re all posting on these here website, I don’t need to explain to you the weird poo poo lurking there. YouTube, even YouTube kids, is the wilds of the internet to me. My 4 year old starting loudly calling everyone BRO and trying to make prank battles. It’s not that it’s wrong, but that I had no insight into what he was watching and where it was coming from. What ELSE was he seeing in the wild internet?
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Feb 15, 2024 19:47
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