r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Brawnfire posted:

It's actually better for hitting the ghee spot.

Let's just leave this at the bottom of the last page, where it belongs

# ? Feb 16, 2024 23:56

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# ? May 30, 2024 14:13

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Kurieg posted:

AITA for shaming my fiance after he suggested wasting a wedding spot on his friend who passed away 6 years ago

How do people this socially clueless manage to trick others into wanting to marry them in the first place? Completely and utterly baffling.

# ? Feb 16, 2024 23:57

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

deety posted:

I don't want to know what that guy's doing with the butter, but I do worry about the cleanup phase. Is he just regularly flushing a bunch of butter in the toilet? Washing it down the shower drain?

That can't be good for the plumbing.

BUTTerplug

# ? Feb 17, 2024 00:08

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Is her list so limited she's not even able to invite her whole family? (re: her saying she could put one of her brothers in) I can get her wanting more of her family there, but why even have a wedding if your list space is so small it can't contain your immediate family?

# ? Feb 17, 2024 00:09

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Turns out that cramped cave venue is actually really popular

# ? Feb 17, 2024 00:10

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Is her list so limited she's not even able to invite her whole family? (re: her saying she could put one of her brothers in) I can get her wanting more of her family there, but why even have a wedding if your list space is so small it can't contain your immediate family?

Liaten, if one of her brothers really wanted to be there they obviously need to die. It's the only way to get a seat at that wedding.

Clearly they don't love their sister enough to do anything to attend.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 00:50

mystes: May 31, 2006

Midnight Voyager posted:

Is her list so limited she's not even able to invite her whole family? (re: her saying she could put one of her brothers in) I can get her wanting more of her family there, but why even have a wedding if your list space is so small it can't contain your immediate family?

There is no indication that there was any actual space issue. If it was a situation where they literally didn't have enough space to seat everyone and she was suggesting an alternative way to honor the dead friend, it might have been reasonable, but it just seems like she sucks.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 00:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

mystes posted:

There is no indication that there was any actual space issue. If it was a situation where they literally didn't have enough space to seat everyone and she was suggesting an alternative way to honor the dead friend, it might have been reasonable, but it just seems like she sucks.

I mean, she says one of her brothers could sit there. Have they just inexplicably been forced to have a family table that only holds six others? is there no way to just use a bigger table so her brothers can sit with the immediate family?

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:01

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Y'all ever gently caress up so bad you went back in time?

AITA for sending my daughter to live with her father?

quote:

I divorced my ex when Lana (15f) was small. After a while I met my husband, who had a son (17m) from a previous marriage and we had a baby (2f) together.

His son accepted me just fine, we managed to create an amazing blended family, if not for the fact that Lana wasn’t a fan of the idea. She openly disrespects my husband, her step brother and her little sister and said multiple times that she doesn’t consider them family.

I said okay then, you may not love them or even like, but everyone would benefit from having some mutual respect. Neither me nor my husband forced Lana into the family. But she would always start unnecessary drama, screaming and yelling that she wants to live with her father. Her daddy dearest was definitely putting those ideas in her head.

Things escalated when me and my husband had to attend an important work event, we work at the same company, so we couldn’t just skip it, no one of us could. My step son had football practice that day, he’s in his senior year and he’s a very successful player so we hope he gets a scholarship and that’s why we’re strict about him attending practice. I asked Lana to babysit her little sister, she outright refused, making a huge scene. Please note that I don’t use her as an unpaid babysitter, in fact I don’t demand anything from her and was more than ready to add a little extra to her allowance.

Her throwing a scene was the final straw. I’ve been dealing with her tantrums and disrespect for three years now, ever since I married my husband. I had enough, and as she was at school, I got in contact with my ex, packed her bags and took them to his house. My ex was more than happy to take her in and he picked her up from school that day.

Here’s the kicker: my ex lives off the grid in a very rural area. They have to run a generator and my ex is stingy about the fuel. He has no wifi and connection at his house is barely strong enough to browse websites, so no TikTok or Instagram. Lana has to use the outhouse, and since the warm water is sparse, she’s not allowed long showers anymore. My ex is a very strict parent and Lana managed to get her iPhone taken away and replaced with a flip phone on her first day at his place (for the record, she said an f word in front of him and he’s the kind of parent who demands being called sir). And she actually has to do way more chores that are more complicated and time consuming because my ex has 24 hour shifts often.

Of course she wants to come back now. My husband says I should take her back in because she learned the lesson. My ex says he’d rather keep her as he got an unpaid housemaid now and her allowance is now his child support. I personally don’t want to take her back in. I’m content with the zero amount of drama we have at home now. Lana says I’m an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:06

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Taking her back would be an utter shitshow but I also have zero respect for a parent that makes their kid call them "sir." That's just loving weird and gross and militaristic. I feel bad for the kid and wonder what else is going on.

Maybe she just has bad vibes.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:18

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Scathach posted:

Taking her back would be an utter shitshow but I also have zero respect for a parent that makes their kid call them "sir." That's just loving weird and gross and militaristic. I feel bad for the kid and wonder what else is going on.

Maybe she just has bad vibes.

quote:

It actually managed to make her grades better because she can�t physically skip school anymore. Her father drives her to school every morning, at my place she could weasel her way out of attending the 1st class by sleeping through, now she just gets woken up no matter what. Also she can�t stay up late anymore because there�s no electricity at night and I�m guessing playing snake on a flip phone is less fun than watching TikToks.

I�m a lax parent and a huge softie in general and her dad is a military vet, so you can imagine the discipline at his house.

---

The thing is, staying at her father�s place actually does impact her schooling and wellbeing dramatically and positively. Her grades are going up. She got rid of her TikTok/social media addiction. She doesn�t stay up late anymore. Her dad is in charge of what she spends her allowance on, so no more junk food and unhealthy snacks, she had to learn how to cook some simple snacks. She has to take care of chickens and it teaches her empathy for animals, at my place we have a cat and she hasn�t cleaned the litter box not even once. She lives in a remote area so more fresh air and less pollution, and instead of spending weekends in front of her phone she�s spending time with her dad, he takes her on hikes, road trips etc.

Not sure how I feel about the comments. I mean you wonder why the kid was such a brat? Because her mom let her be. Reading again you could see it as a cry for structure and stability.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:21

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Oh yeah, mom is a total rear end in a top hat who was looking for a reason to cut the dead weight out of her "perfect blended family" but man daughter hosed up by assuming the grass was greener at Colonial Williamsburg.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:26

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

That does sound fantastic. I mean I still hate that he wants anyone to call him sir, but he also has chickens and lives off grid so at least she's getting good outdoor skills. I can't imagine kids not being raised without hikes and outdoor stuff, that's just loving depressing.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:30

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Midnight Voyager posted:

I mean, she says one of her brothers could sit there. Have they just inexplicably been forced to have a family table that only holds six others? is there no way to just use a bigger table so her brothers can sit with the immediate family?

Wedding seating charts are 4 dimensional Rubix cubes that make you think, "if Aunt Gloria and Uncle Frank died in the next 3 months, this might actually work".

One open seat can change the entire strategy.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:35

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

oh jay posted:

Wedding seating charts are 4 dimensional Rubix cubes that make you think, "if Aunt Gloria and Uncle Frank died in the next 3 months, this might actually work".

One open seat can change the entire strategy.

that is terrifying

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:41

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

it sounds like she's talking about the head table and wants all the spots occupied so it looks good for pictures, also so she doesn't have to explain to people why there's an open chair.

But don't you see it's okay, he smiled, that means he's completely okay with it and has come around to her clearly correct line of reasoning.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:44

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

oh jay posted:

Wedding seating charts are 4 dimensional Rubix cubes that make you think, "if Aunt Gloria and Uncle Frank died in the next 3 months, this might actually work".

One open seat can change the entire strategy.

This sounds like one of the few legitimate use cases for AI.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:46

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

That story really strikes me as 'kids these days' bait with the emphasis on the flip phones and social media and only missing the avocado toast.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:55

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Ghost Leviathan posted:

That story really strikes me as 'kids these days' bait with the emphasis on the flip phones and social media and only missing the avocado toast.

Its that plus also a trad man thing.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 01:58

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Ask Amy: Disappointed bride-to-be needs to keep the attendants and ditch the expectations

quote:

DEAR AMY: I am getting married in about six months. I�m the bride and have been excited to plan the wedding. I�ve been thinking about this for a very long time.

The problem I�m having is with my bridesmaids. I have six attendants. Only one of them (my sister) lives locally because I chose women from throughout various periods of my life.

I have envisioned spending a really fun Saturday dress shopping with my mother and bridesmaids, drinking champagne and trying on dresses, and I�ve been trying to coordinate this, but none of them seem able or willing to come to town to do this (two of them have family here).

I�m so disappointed and I�m unsure if I have chosen the wrong people to stand up with me.

What should I do? Should I find different attendants?

� Upset

DEAR UPSET: Keep the attendants, ditch the expectations.

It seems that many marrying couples are developing their ideas about what weddings should be like from reality shows, where the couples sometimes have unlimited budgets and the attendants are basically cast members.

In real life, people have work and other obligations; they are financially squeezed and they can�t be expected to fulfill every fantasy you have leading up to and including the wedding.

And bridesmaids, especially, seem to be stretched very thin, as they are expected to host showers, fly to Vegas for bachelorette weekends, purchase expensive dresses they�ll never wear again, pay for special hair and makeup sessions, and be props for perfect wedding photos.

Give these women a break, please!

Your wedding dress shopping excursion should include you, your mother, and your sister. Think about how much farther that bottle of champagne will go with just the three of you!

Settle down. Reframe your expectations. Your wedding day will be more memorable if everyone around you is feeling joyful and excited, versus exhausted and broke.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 02:00

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Barudak posted:

Its that plus also a trad man thing.

I'm a trad man

Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub

# ? Feb 17, 2024 02:36

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Halloween Jack posted:

I don't like to be a party pooper but personally I really really really really really really don't want to read somebody's story about a video and then see the actual video. That just crosses a line for me. I'm not that interested in the life of some complete stranger's teenage kid and no one else should be either.

I absolutely understand and agree with where you're coming from here.

With the exception of that one guy who made a music video for his crush and played it in front of the entire class.

He wrote the lyrics. He sang the lyrics.

It was magical.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 05:54

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

If the video is really funny, I want to see the video

# ? Feb 17, 2024 06:21

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for shaming my fiance after he suggested wasting a wedding spot on his friend who passed away 6 years ago

Getting sat next to dead buddy�s ghost chair would put me in a super festive mood.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 07:36

Celexi: Nov 25, 2006; Slava Ukraini!

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

Getting sat next to dead buddy’s ghost chair would put me in a super festive mood.

What kind of alcohol is the ghost drinking

# ? Feb 17, 2024 07:46

Silly Newbie: Jul 25, 2007; How do I?

Celexi posted:

What kind of alcohol is the ghost drinking

Spirits.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 07:47

Wintermutant: Oct 2, 2009; Dinosaur Gum

I get made fun of at school because of what my parents (39F) and (40M) named me.

quote:

Ok, so I'm (14M), and I get severely bullied at school because of my name and my parents (39F) and (40M). My parents are huge Star Wars fans, and when I was born, they decided to name me "Anakin Skywalker." I'm not joking; that is actually my name. My parents' last name isn't "Skywalker." My dad's last name is "Thompson," and my mom's last name is "O'Connor." When they got married, they decided to hyphenate their last name, so their last name is "Thompson-O'Connor." However, when I was born, they gave me "Anakin" as my first name and "Skywalker" as my last name, and I don't have a middle name. Because of this, I got bullied, and I still get bullied at my school. For it, I joined the school football team, and the players sometimes call me "Ani," and they make fun of me, saying, "Use the force." When I get angry and tell them to stop, the coach will come, and he will make fun of me too, saying, "Don't go all darkside with me now."

It's embarrassing. I have one friend whose name is Emma (16F), and she just calls me "Anakin" when we are alone, but when she introduces me to her friends outside of school or her siblings, she just calls me "Sky" to save me from the embarrassment. I told my parents, but they said the kids are just "jealous." I don't really hate my name;

I mean, I do like it, and I actually like my last name, "Skywalker," but I get made fun of by the teachers and students, and I don't even like Star Wars. I find the movies boring; my parents would force me to watch them with them, and it was just boring to me.

I thought the last three with the female lead were more fun and adventurous, but that's about it. It was kind of weird seeing the character of Anakin on screen because we share the same name, but even then, I never really liked the character in the movies; he was annoying and kind of a jerk to everyone, except his wife.

I did like him in the animated show, but even then, he wasn't my favorite character. Because I don't like Star Wars all that much and don't really watch it, the students and teachers make corny Star Wars references that I don't get sometimes because I'm not into it like that, and some students call me "Vader." I honestly just want to be called "Anakin" or "Skywalker" and just be treated normally without being made fun of or people making dumb Star Wars jokes and references. I know I sound ungrateful, and I'm not.

I do like my name, and I do like the character, kind of (I only liked the cartoon version). I thought he was cooler as a supervillain, but even then, I just want to be treated "normal," even though my name isn't "normal," and I don't hate my parents. I see where they were coming from; they love Star Wars, and I they love the characters I love Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's my favorite show, and I've watched it all the time since I was little. I'm super hyped for the Netflix live action show, and when I'm older, if I had a daughter, I could see myself wanting to name her Katara or Azula, or if I had a son, I would want to name him Zuko. I like my name, and I don't want to change it, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I guess when I graduate, I'm going to just go with "Sky" because "Ani" sounds like a girl's name, and I can't go with "Anna" because that sounds like a girl's name too.

TLDR: I get made fun of at school because of what my parents (39F) and (40M) named me.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 07:52

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Wintermutant posted:

I get made fun of at school because of what my parents (39F) and (40M) named me.

Can you even do that with a kid's last name?

# ? Feb 17, 2024 08:01

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Wintermutant posted:

I get made fun of at school because of what my parents (39F) and (40M) named me.

Ani are you ok?

# ? Feb 17, 2024 08:04

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

This sounds like one of the few legitimate use cases for AI.

"Alright, hon, according to the new chart if we can send your first and third cousins through the teleporter with my great-Aunt and step-brother, the screaming amalgam can be seated over here and that will leave enough room for the grandfather with three left arms.
What do you mean your grandpa only has two? Dammit, I'll have to start over..."

# ? Feb 17, 2024 08:32

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

If the video is really funny, I want to see the video

It's a 9.5 on the cringe scale but it's from about two threads ago, so good luck finding it.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 08:42

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Quackles posted:

Can you even do that with a kid's last name?

Do what? You can give your kids any name you want, basically.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 09:03

Wintermutant: Oct 2, 2009; Dinosaur Gum

Quackles posted:

Can you even do that with a kid's last name?

Yeah I didn�t think so but checked before I posted that and apparently surnames are fair game too, surprisingly

# ? Feb 17, 2024 09:06

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Nocheez posted:

Do what? You can give your kids any name you want, basically.

I figured that only applied to all the other names that weren't the last name.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 09:07

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Brawnfire posted:

It's actually better for hitting the ghee spot.

And that's what you missed on... GHEE!

# ? Feb 17, 2024 09:22

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Nocheez posted:

Do what? You can give your kids any name you want, basically.

Not only kids.

Say John Smith marries Mary Jones.

If she chooses to change her name, she doesn't have to become Mary Smith, or even Mary Smith-Jones. She can become Mary Pnurtis if she wants. And there is nothing nobody can do to stop her.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 09:29

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

BrigadierSensible posted:

Not only kids.

Say John Smith marries Mary Jones.

If she chooses to change her name, she doesn't have to become Mary Smith, or even Mary Smith-Jones. She can become Mary Pnurtis if she wants. And there is nothing nobody can do to stop her.

Well, yes, but that's an adult changing their name, which they can just... do. I had thought that the way it worked was the hospital/registry office asked you which first/middle names you wanted for the kid, and if the parents had different last names, which last names or amalgam thereof.

But that was just something I'd assumed, to be fair.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 10:46

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Quackles posted:

Well, yes, but that's an adult changing their name, which they can just... do. I had thought that the way it worked was the hospital/registry office asked you which first/middle names you wanted for the kid, and if the parents had different last names, which last names or amalgam thereof.

But that was just something I'd assumed, to be fair.

It may vary in other countries, especially the ones that have a registry of "acceptable" names.

# ? Feb 17, 2024 10:58

Irisi: Feb 18, 2009

oh jay posted:

Wedding seating charts are 4 dimensional Rubix cubes that make you think, "if Aunt Gloria and Uncle Frank died in the next 3 months, this might actually work".

One open seat can change the entire strategy.

My cousin made a fairly decent chunk of change about 10 years back by creating an app that helped you arrange your seating for the wedding, you input your guest list, used some drag and drop things to create the tables you would have in real life in the venue, mark people who needed to sit by an exit or who had access issues, all that type of thing. Apparently it was very popular!

We were trying to persuade him to add a sort of safety feature where you assigned each guest a rating depending on how likely they were to get ratbag drunk, and how many other guests they hated at the wedding, so you could evenly scatter the maniacs through the crowd to ensure they had someone to calm them down during the speeches. I remember the scale went from "01-will have an orange juice and help put people to bed" up to "11- On his seventh divorce and gropes waitresses even when sober".

# ? Feb 17, 2024 11:57

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# ? May 30, 2024 14:13

SpaceViking: Sep 2, 2011; Who put the stars in the sky? Coyote will say he did it himself, and it is not a lie.

Just a title:

# ? Feb 17, 2024 14:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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