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sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

OBJ was worth it just for yelling at Lamar on the sidelines in the Chiefs game

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Rectal Placenta
Feb 25, 2011
Chase Daniel's career is an interesting study

BrownThunder
Oct 26, 2005

EXTEND BEN!
Forever and ever and ever

Who is Dr Clowney

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
Just two guys being dudes!

https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1760126623276290076

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




In more horible news

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/39564069/two-adults-charged-murder-chiefs-parade-shooting

quote:

The argument began when two groups of people grew agitated over the belief that people in the other group were staring at them, according to affidavits from police. Surveillance video shows Mays and someone with him aggressively approached the other group, police say.

The video showed Mays was the first to begin shooting despite being surrounded by crowds of people, including children, according to one of the affidavits.

Mays told detectives that "he hesitated shooting because he knew there were kids there," according to the affidavit. He told investigators he began firing after someone in the other group said, "I'm going to get you," which he took to mean they would try to kill him. He said he chose a random person from the other group to shoot at as that person was running away, the affidavit says.

Just the dumbest people imaginable, who were both packing

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011


just two guys asking each other if they saw that one article online. classic.

Kurgarra Queen
Jun 11, 2008

GIVE ME MORE
SUPER BOWL
WINS

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

In more horible news

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/39564069/two-adults-charged-murder-chiefs-parade-shooting

Just the dumbest people imaginable, who were both packing
Very normal country we live in.

Pontius Pilate
Jul 25, 2006

Crucify, Whale, Crucify
a page of the dumbest dudes, god bless

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

Pontius Pilate posted:

a page of the dumbest dudes, god bless

Turn your monitor on

Black Lighter
Sep 6, 2010

Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

BlindSite posted:

Turn your monitor on

But there's a bullet hole in it :saddowns:

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

https://twitter.com/PanthersOnTap/status/1760282107497025730?s=20

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005








Luvu and brown both higher priorities.

xbilkis
Apr 11, 2005

god qb
me
jay hova
Feels like you would want to be confident about your ability to re-sign a guy before you turn down two big trade offers for him

Burns probably isn't a $30m/year guy though so it's a legitimately tough place for the Panthers to be. Even in a tag and trade situation, it's hard to imagine another team would be eager to give up a first rounder just for the right to pay him that much

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
Burns REALLY wants out of Carolina and who can blame him?

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

New Love Glow
That franchise is so hosed. Nothing against canapés really (autocorrect) but there hasn’t been a coach since Dave culley that was so set up to fail IMO

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

Bryce Huff for 20 is a bargain. He's just a flat out better pass rusher than Burns is.

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch

xbilkis posted:

Feels like you would want to be confident about your ability to re-sign a guy before you turn down two big trade offers for him

Burns probably isn't a $30m/year guy though so it's a legitimately tough place for the Panthers to be. Even in a tag and trade situation, it's hard to imagine another team would be eager to give up a first rounder just for the right to pay him that much

miami has the dolphins, the greatest football team

(don't know what kind of cap wizardry they'd have to pull off but the dolphins are in win now mode and in desperate need of a quality pass rusher and don't really give a poo poo about their picks to that degree)

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Nah not a chance

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Declan MacManus posted:

miami has the dolphins, the greatest football team

(don't know what kind of cap wizardry they'd have to pull off but the dolphins are in win now mode and in desperate need of a quality pass rusher and don't really give a poo poo about their picks to that degree)
It would be funny to see a team with 6+ players on contracts with $25m+ cap hits in 2024. A true stars and scrubs NFL experience.

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch

the salary cap is fake, but brian burns? brian burns is real

Nosre
Apr 16, 2002


30m real though? I know cap inflation and Burns is good, but he never struck me as "2nd highest paid edge" good

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

$30M is probably his "gently caress you" price for Carolina. He wants out, but if they're dumb enough to pay $30M then he'll stay.

It's like when the plumber comes out and says it'll be $8k to snake your sewer line. He doesn't want to do it, but if you pay him a super inflated price, then why not.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Nosre posted:

30m real though? I know cap inflation and Burns is good, but he never struck me as "2nd highest paid edge" good

I do not think Burns is worth that contract, and I think currently he's at best the third best player on the Panthers defense. ]

I do not think Burns is a game changing, every down play wrecker that has to be accounted for. I think he's primarily a speed rusher who struggles to bring down larger qbs. He settles for swat attempts, especially last year. He can be a liability in the run.

The Panthers will never get an offer comparable to what the Rams offered, though that wasn't as good as most people remember since they were firsts in 2024/2025, with the Panthers getting nothing for 2023.

If the Panthers do decide to move on, I can't imagine anyone giving him even what the Panthers were offering. I feel like he's going to spend his whole career signing effectively 2 year deals with contenders that think they're one pass rusher away, and that's fine.

Conversely, he'll end up in Buffalo.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

FizFashizzle posted:

I do not think Burns is worth that contract, and I think currently he's at best the third best player on the Panthers defense. ]

I do not think Burns is a game changing, every down play wrecker that has to be accounted for. I think he's primarily a speed rusher who struggles to bring down larger qbs. He settles for swat attempts, especially last year. He can be a liability in the run.

The Panthers will never get an offer comparable to what the Rams offered, though that wasn't as good as most people remember since they were firsts in 2024/2025, with the Panthers getting nothing for 2023.

If the Panthers do decide to move on, I can't imagine anyone giving him even what the Panthers were offering. I feel like he's going to spend his whole career signing effectively 2 year deals with contenders that think they're one pass rusher away, and that's fine.

Conversely, he'll end up in Buffalo.

buffalo isn't in a cap position to pay him. von miller 23 million on the cap lol lmao

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?
that Von Miller deal is so crazy. every team should get one or two "my bad" chips per decade they can use to clear a player's salary from the cap (and of course the revenue split, they'd be accounted as FO/staff and thus wouldn't take away from the players' pool), but they still have to pay the contract/negotiate a buyout

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!

indigi posted:

that Von Miller deal is so crazy. every team should get one or two "my bad" chips per decade they can use to clear a player's salary from the cap (and of course the revenue split, they'd be accounted as FO/staff and thus wouldn't take away from the players' pool), but they still have to pay the contract/negotiate a buyout

Counter point, it’s very funny and teams shouldn’t get a stupidity pass

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?
it's really the fans that are getting the pass there since the owner is still beholden to the contract, and taking it out of the revenue split means that money has to be spent on players, but I do agree that it's funny

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Really the whole league is paying Matt Rhule’s contract if you think about it.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

indigi posted:

that Von Miller deal is so crazy. every team should get one or two "my bad" chips per decade they can use to clear a player's salary from the cap (and of course the revenue split, they'd be accounted as FO/staff and thus wouldn't take away from the players' pool), but they still have to pay the contract/negotiate a buyout

The NBA did exactly this like 20 years ago.

quote:

In 2005, the NBA agreed on a new collective bargaining agreement with the player's union. The agreement included an amnesty clause provision allowing teams to release one player without his contract counting against the NBA's luxury tax threshold. The clause did not negate a player's contract, a team's obligation to pay a player, or a contract's impact on the salary cap; it merely made it possible to remove a released player's salary from luxury tax calculations on a one-time basis.

Because the Knicks were expected to use the amnesty clause to waive Allan Houston due to his expensive contract and injury woes (as of the 2005 offseason, two years and $40 million remained on his contract), the amnesty clause was dubbed the "Allan Houston Rule."

The Knicks did not end up using their Allan Houston Rule amnesty on Allan Houston.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
love that kicker

Docjowles
Apr 9, 2009

FizFashizzle posted:

The Panthers will never get an offer comparable to what the Rams offered, though that wasn't as good as most people remember since they were firsts in 2024/2025, with the Panthers getting nothing for 2023.

This is pure hindsight but the Panthers would probably be pretty stoked to have those first round picks right about now. Not like last year could have gone much worse with or without Burns. Granted it wouldn't be first overall, looks like Rams pick 19th, but still.

quote:

The Knicks did not end up using their Allan Houston Rule amnesty on Allan Houston.

:lol:

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
And didn't Burns basically say he made a business decision and pretty much half assed it all last season to try to avoid injury?

razorscooter
Nov 5, 2008


Diva Cupcake posted:

The NBA did exactly this like 20 years ago.

god i love the knicks

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.
Is Brian Allen any good?

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch

the knicks got out of the allan houston contract due to a medical retirement

it's not as dumb as it seems

they spent the amnesty on jerome williams, another loving awful contract that they were under, instead

lol knicks, nonetheless

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

wandler20 posted:

And didn't Burns basically say he made a business decision and pretty much half assed it all last season to try to avoid injury?

Yeah pretty much and from that point I didn't really want him here any longer.

Gully Foyle
Feb 29, 2008

indigi posted:

that Von Miller deal is so crazy. every team should get one or two "my bad" chips per decade they can use to clear a player's salary from the cap (and of course the revenue split, they'd be accounted as FO/staff and thus wouldn't take away from the players' pool), but they still have to pay the contract/negotiate a buyout

Nah, I'm a Bills fan and even though I'd like them to be able to get out of it, teams gotta eat their stupid mistakes. Don't sign players to big guaranteed deals if you aren't willing to pay the price of loving it up.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

NFL contracts should be like NHL contracts: completely guaranteed. If you sign someone to an 8-year contract and they're terrible, you're out of luck. Tough poo poo.

soggybagel
Aug 6, 2006
The official account of NFL Tackle Phil Loadholt.

Let's talk Football.
This is the funniest story of the week.

https://x.com/ProFootballTalk/status/1760420459185578051?s=20

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Tweak
Jul 28, 2003

or dont whatever








Anyone in Houston want some AP memorabilia?
https://hibid.com/catalog/524140/adrian-peterson-final-auction

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