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Blinkz0rz posted:Yes you have to take this medicine. No I can't do anything about the flavor. Yes I'm sorry I would change it and make it easier if I could. I was in that same position over Thanksgiving. (And then she immediately got a second ear infection and needed a different round of antibiotics in another gross flavor.) It sucks. Good luck.
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Feb 21, 2024 18:05
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Man I dunno how you parents without a village to rely on do it. My in laws, our biggest supporters who I will be eternally grateful to, basically gave up three months of their lives to help us with the baby. Two weeks ago they left on a much needed vacation now that we're finally got a groove going with the baby and I'm taking the last of my FMLA to help slowly ween him into daycare life. In the past week I've desperately needed them four times. First, I randomly blew my back out and couldn't walk. At one point I was on the floor alone with a crying baby who wanted to be held, and I physically couldn't get up from the pain. It hurts to be in that position, unable to meet your baby's basic needs. The next day I managed to get an orthopedic appointment in the late afternoon. With no babysitter, I had to drag him all the way to daycare only for him to hang out for a half hour before my wife got out of work. It was an incredibly unceremonious first day of school. Yesterday, his actual first day of school, my car broke down 10 minutes from home with both kids in the car. I had to have my wife leave work to come rescue us from the side of the road. Today? We had a great day. She took them to school, and I brought the baby home at around noon. And right as I got home, wife called me and told me that a kid at school (our nephew no less) had a seizure. Since she's the director, she had to go in the ambulance with him, leaving my older son in his class with no easy way to get home, because now there's no way she's getting out of work at a reasonable time. So now when this baby wakes up from his nap I'm gonna have to haul this baby back out into the world to get my other son who I just left behind. Would be nice to have grandma right about now.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:07
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Top Rhode Island health story on Boston Globe: Norovirus outbreaks seen across Rhode Island, health department says I always forget it's that time of year, daycare is going to be wonderful
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Feb 21, 2024 20:32
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Renegret posted:Man I dunno how you parents without a village to rely on do it. Yeah, it can be really rough. I don't want to say I'm resentful of my sister-in-law who lives within 15 minutes of two sets of grandparents, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit envious. She's got a 1.5 year old and her and her husband are constantly going out to dinner, taking long weekend mini-vacations to go see a concert of go to the beach for some adult time, and generally living a pretty normal life in large part because they have two grandmothers (they're boomers: the grandfathers are loving worthless when it comes to small children) right there to drop the kids off with at a moment's notice. Heck her husband went on a week-long ski trip with some old fraternity brothers last month and it was no biggie because she just went to her mom's house with the kid and slept there while he was gone. And good for them! Like I said, I don't want to be lovely about someone having something I don't but drat. loving jealous. We, meanwhile, have a 6 month old, live no where near any relatives or friends who can babysit, and haven't so much as gone out to a restaurant since last summer. And we've got it significantly easier than a lot of people because I'm full time WFH and have a flexible enough schedule that I can do a lot of baby stuff during the day. But jesus do I ever miss eating out or just having a few hours with only adults and no kid stuff to take care of. That said the full time WFH can have disadvantages. There was a period right after Christmas where I realized I hadn't left the house - not so much as gone outside to get the newspaper - for a month because my non-WFH spouse was taking care of that stuff when they went to / came back from work.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:34
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Blinkz0rz posted:Yes you have to take this medicine. No I can't do anything about the flavor. Yes I'm sorry I would change it and make it easier if I could. see, you think you can't do 2 hours of fighting every time for 20 doses, but my 3 year old has proven that you can.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:37
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My wife and I made it a daily top priority goal to go outside every day. It's pretty easy to lose sight of it if you're at home with the baby.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:38
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:My wife and I made it a daily top priority goal to go outside every day. It's pretty easy to lose sight of it if you're at home with the baby. Ever since we realized I hadn't been outside for that long we've made a walk around the block a requirement.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:40
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:My wife and I made it a daily top priority goal to go outside every day. It's pretty easy to lose sight of it if you're at home with the baby. Having a dog who needs two walks a day is the only reason I leave the house some days.
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Feb 21, 2024 20:46
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Rasputin on the Ritz posted:That said the full time WFH can have disadvantages. There was a period right after Christmas where I realized I hadn't left the house - not so much as gone outside to get the newspaper - for a month because my non-WFH spouse was taking care of that stuff when they went to / came back from work. I usually eat at home for WFH lunch because it's easy and cheap, but what works for me is I'll get in the car and drive ~4 miles to the nearest fast food place and grab a diet Coke at the drive through. It's about 25 minutes round trip. I get to interact with another live human being (however briefly) and I actually leave the neighborhood and see something besides the six houses nearest to me Alternating who takes the kid to daycare helps too, but our daycare is so close to the house it hardly counts Walking around the block is wise too
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Feb 21, 2024 20:55
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I’m trying so hard not to be envious of other people with childcare help. I am low key panicking because I’m not sure how I am going to handle school drop off and pick up next year, not to mention all of the random days of no school or half days. My parents live in town, but my mom is always drunk and my dad is abusive. It sucks on many levels. I’ve worked very hard to get where I am in my career and I’m going to suck at my job for the next few years because my priorities have shifted. I’m sure things will work out somehow, just venting. I know that people make do with a lot less support and their kids turn out fine.
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Feb 21, 2024 21:22
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I envy anyone who has a large network and family support and can go on a dinner date or a movie on a whim. I also feel very sad for parents with no support, especially the ones that are single-parenting while working inflexible jobs. poo poo sucks, and this society is sure not helping much on that front.
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Feb 21, 2024 21:26
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I can tell that my wife would in some ways really love to spend a few years as a stay-at-home mom but it's an absolute bear trying to get back into work (especially her field) after being out of it for several years. And of course the only way we could afford to buy a house on just my salary would be to move away from the ~4 cities that are hubs in her field, meaning we either keep renting this poo poo place we're in, we accept that we're gonna move again when it's time to go back to work, or we accept that her career would be over, and all of those suck poo poo. We both hate it when e.g. the nanny (share, we're not that loaded) takes the kid to the zoo and we're both stuck at work. After work, it's time to get dinner made and then get the kid in the tub and ready for bed. Before work, it's all about getting him fed and dressed and over to the nanny share. You give up the early years so that you'll still be able to have a job when they leave the nest... same way we give up our thirties working in lovely expensive crowded dirty cities so we can go enjoy our lives once we finally retire. Sick.
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Feb 21, 2024 21:56
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In laws are nearby now, but they get really sick from the daycare crud easily, and miss about half the time they say they'll be here to help. I'm permanent wfh, so I get school drop off, and pickup, and get daycare pickup 95% of the time. Wife does daycare drop on her way into the city, or in between lovely early status calls. I *can* do daycare and school when she's out of town for work, it's just very tight time wise. Running out at 330 for school pickup isn't great, but most people respect the calendar block, and it's quick at least. I'm just exhausted, since the 2yo has some back teeth coming in, and the older one is T1D, which is getting better managed, but it makes meal times/servings very extra. Also lots of managing/interacting with the (absolutely amazing) school nurse on midday care. TV time and meal options have been phoned in a lot recently, it'll get turned around, it's just draining.
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Feb 21, 2024 21:59
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This is your quarterly reminder that Sudafed (and it's generic equivalents) exist for when you get whatever is going around at daycare Goddamn I've been feeling like poo poo for 5+ days, been taking this stuff the last two days and it just turned my life around Real Sudafed is the stuff they convert into meth in breaking bad, so you have to request it specifically from the pharmacist because reasons, and they'll scan your DL, but it's totally worth it, hot drat
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Feb 21, 2024 22:13
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I feel that. We’re both hybrid workers and have a lot of flexibility compared to most, but goddamn I would love a normal work week where I can make it to the office the mandated number of days.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:14
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My husband and I both got food poisoning while the kids were home on Presidents day, we're also very far away from any support network. YouTube was mom and dad on Monday. That's all we could manage. They'll probably be fine eventually. But yeah, I envy my sister who has really engaged in-laws nearby. My parents aren't really interested in grandkids and my inlaws are sickly and we live three hours from our friends, so welp, sucks to be us. It'll get better eventually. And then it'll get hard again for different reasons. It is what it is.
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Feb 21, 2024 22:21
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thunderdome winner
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How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. Our current problem is none of our friends are having kids. We don't have a good support system when it comes to parenting issues or even for playdates. It rained all weekend for the presidents day holiday and we felt like we didn't even have anyone to call to come over and just spend time with us and our daughter to break up the monotony.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:39
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. I don't have any advice for your situation (sorry!) but for people who've just had a baby, look into breastfeeding support groups through your hospital. My wife went to one and although she's graduated out, her cohort still keeps in touch via a group chat and has occasional meetups. Once the kids are a little older and can actually play with each other, there may be playdates too. She got some good breastfeeding info too, sure, but I think the biggest part has been making connections with other women who are currently going through the same set of challenges.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:43
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. We’ve been trying to make friends with daycare parents, but you’re also kind of at the mercy of whoever your kid is friends with. My wife has also had some pretty good success with Peanut which is just Tinder for moms to make friends. There should be a dad version of it, maybe some tech bro can code up Walnut or Dadr or whatever.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:48
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. Honestly, all of our friends that we have now we made through (kid) sports. My kid is older than yours and has been doing organized sports for a few years and we found a few really awesome families through that. My advice would be don't be afraid if you see somebody at a daycare or some other kid event if you think they seem cool to reach out to them. Chances are they are just as starved for adult interaction as you are, and having someone in that situation make the first move is almost always appreciated.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:50
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One of our problems is that we had kids late. It's just a lot harder to click with someone in their 30s or god help you mid-20s when you're in your early 40s. Having kids late was a huge mistake in a whole bunch of respects. Do not recommend. It's what we had to do for career reasons, but it still sucks.
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Feb 21, 2024 23:53
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. Let me know if you ever figure it out. At this point I’m hoping it picks up as my kid gets older and gets more days at school. Of course the mom of my kid’s best friend at school is the one parent my wife and I mutually dislike. Disappointing!
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Feb 21, 2024 23:53
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The front desk lady at the daycare is also the mailperson for intra-daycare mail. This is how birthday invites are distributed at our daycare. We got an invite to a birthday party of one of our kids "besties" and when leaving the party I approached the dad saying hey this is great, I think our kids are friends at school, we should do a play date sometime. And then I outsourced the rest to my wife, using the phone number listed on the birthday invite and that spiraled into a group text My wife also did a variation of that for the two couples that are vaguely same ethnicity as her and we've done a couple play dates with their kids (bay area is extremely multi ethnic) Play dates at our house usually involve a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer*, cheese, crackers and salami for the adults; apple slices, peanut butter, chicken nuggets for the kids, and dumping out all the Legos/toy trucks/brio train set stuff and let them destroy those toys for as long as conversation stays brisk. Conversation usually revolves around what we talk about in this thread: complaining about/praising daycare, potty training, where to take the kid when it's raining *Has been swapped for scotch, gin and long island ice tea when we go to their houses Edit: we're both now in our early 40s and most (more than half?) of the parents at our daycare are at least 35, having kids late isn't uncommon with our generation More edit: the magic words for the front desk lady is "can you give this to XYZ kid in ABC classrooms parents?" they love playing matchmaker and stuff like that don't hesitate to ask. It might take a couple days to "arrive" at the correct recipient Hadlock fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Feb 22, 2024 |
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Feb 22, 2024 00:01
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space uncle posted:We’ve been trying to make friends with daycare parents, but you’re also kind of at the mercy of whoever your kid is friends with. I tried Peanut for one day and it seemed like it was full of “live laugh love” type people. I did a lot of swiping left. Still have no mom friends.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:29
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I'm on birthday party duty due to the wife's allergies, I mostly talked to parents there. The two problems are 1) we're the one family not in that school district, and 2) he was our first, and other parents were on their last. Parents aren't all that far apart in ages. He started kindergarten, in the fall, and the parties have started up, so we'll see how that pans out. Even at 5-6, a bunch of the parents all knew each other through sports summer camps??? I have a couple non parent friends, my wife just works more.
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Feb 22, 2024 00:55
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Renegret posted:Man I dunno how you parents without a village to rely on do it. We live in California. Her parents live in WI and mine live in NY. To make the start more fun, our daughter was born about two weeks before the Mar Covid shutdown in 2020. The only saving grace was that I got to be home and help for the first year because of COVID. The social isolation of baby + almost nobody else for two full years was incredible. I’d say that the way you “do it” is you have to internalize that you, as an individual, do not exist or matter for the next X years. No, there will be no date nights unless you find a vaccinated babysitter and budget $150 extra for the evening. No, you don’t get to sleep. No, you don’t have hobbies. You don’t get to go on vacations, at least not ones you want to do (and early infancy none at all). You’re not a person, you’re a parent. Then slowly as the kid gets older, you introduce the old you back into the picture little by little. The important part is internalizing it as just how things are, so you don’t either drive yourself crazy waiting for something years away or show resentment toward the kid.
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Feb 22, 2024 01:03
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. moved to the suburbs and were instantly surrounded by tons of ppl our age with kids more generally though my wife found a LOT of friends through our town's women's club, new mom groups, new mom community zooms, and the local JCC's (jewish ymca) welcome baby program - we went from basically knowing nobody to having a conga line of people giving us free stuff, dropping off food, going on stroller walks, it rules
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Feb 22, 2024 01:30
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Renegret posted:Man I dunno how you parents without a village to rely on do it. it sucks  it's just really hard! my wife and I have had more flexibility than most, probably, but we've been sick like all this month with food poisoning, colds, some other kind of stomach bug, god knows what else, and it's just relentless and lovely and it still just has to get done. when there was only one kid, at least it was easy enough for one parent to wrangle her some weekend morning solo so the other could catch up on sleep but with the two (one of whom is breastfeeding) we both kind of just have to be on when the kids are awake. and when they're asleep, well, we should be asleep I guess. we don't have any family nearby. We have plenty of friends (met mostly through my work), but they ALSO all have kids our kids' age or younger and don't live near family (the joys of being friends with people in academia, I guess; we're all transplants) so it's not easy to be like "help, will you feed our kids because we're both really tired" i'm having some, uh, minor outpatient surgery (aka i'm making sure we don't have another kid) in a few weeks and my FIL did not take the hint that it would be really helpful for his retired rear end to come visit, but thankfully my SIL is taking a day off work and driving four hours to come help handle the kids since I'll be icing my balls. But if she couldn't do that -- which would be a totally reasonable thing to not be able to do! -- I'm not sure what we'd resort to. anyway, the increase in difficulty as you go from 1 to 2 kids is large and it's really making me acutely feel the absence of (reliable) family nearby.
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Feb 22, 2024 04:08
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LooksLikeABabyRat posted:How do you all make friends with other parents? My wife and I live in the SF Bay Area, and have for a decade. We have a 2.5 year old and she's fantastic. What part of the Bay? There’s a Discord for SF goons (check the LAN thread). We’re down in Silicon Valley and my wife has had a lot of success with parenting groups, weekly kids hiking meetups, that sort of thing. Kids are 3 and 5, so TK and more school after should be helping eventually. Still not easy…
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Feb 22, 2024 06:39
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Sundae posted:We live in California. Her parents live in WI and mine live in NY. To make the start more fun, our daughter was born about two weeks before the Mar Covid shutdown in 2020.
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Feb 22, 2024 07:08
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wizzardstaff posted:You know what you definitely shouldn't do during this time period? Have a midlife crisis and realize you've spent three decades in the wrong gender and need absolutely right now, more than you ever have in your life, to establish your identity as an individual person. I'm gonna have to take your word for it, but jfc that sounds like it'd suck to go through while keeping a tiny human alive.
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Feb 22, 2024 07:13
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Ranger Vick posted:What part of the Bay? There’s a Discord for SF goons (check the LAN thread). We’re down in Silicon Valley and my wife has had a lot of success with parenting groups, weekly kids hiking meetups, that sort of thing. Kids are 3 and 5, so TK and more school after should be helping eventually. Still not easy… We’re in Oakland. Looking into meetups is probably a good idea.
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Feb 22, 2024 07:30
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Me: Alright, I'm going to the bathroom Daughter: I had the weirdest dream last night Me: yup well tell me about it later I'm - Daughter: so I was running down the street Me: seriously I'm going poop, bye Daughter: and I was chasing a giant butterfly Me: I AM NOW UP THE STAIRS I CANNOT HEAR Daughter: and I fell and the police came
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Feb 22, 2024 15:00
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Tell your daughter to request a lawyer, invoke the fifth amendment, stop talking and let you poop. It's the basics of criminal procedure 
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Feb 22, 2024 15:12
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*child barges into bathroom while I'm taking a poo poo* DO YOU HAVE A LEGAL WARRANT THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS I DO NOT CONSENT TO A SEARCH OF MY BUTTHOLE
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Feb 22, 2024 15:15
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Renegret posted:*child barges into bathroom while I'm taking a poo poo* i like how it could be either you or the kid screaming this and it would still work
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Feb 22, 2024 15:22
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I would pay good money to never have to search my child's butthole ever again. I'm going to go through a solid 10 years of my life looking at my kids' penis and butthole on a daily basis and I'm not sure how I feel about that
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Feb 22, 2024 15:57
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My 3yo has great communication but “hey buddy I know that old man’s dog is pretty but if we don’t scoot inside right now we are going to be trapped in a near inescapable one-sided conversation that quickly lands on military history” is a bit too much. Guess who got to spend 15 minutes saying only “oh really? Wow that’s interesting. How cool.”
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Feb 22, 2024 16:50
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Took so long to realize my son wanted edamame, not to eat a mermaid
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Feb 22, 2024 20:13
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Democratic Pirate posted:My 3yo has great communication but “hey buddy I know that old man’s dog is pretty but if we don’t scoot inside right now we are going to be trapped in a near inescapable one-sided conversation that quickly lands on military history” is a bit too much. Just be glad he didn’t go on about how proud he was of his relatives who were in the SS, which is an unfortunate conversation I once had to endure to get some copies done at a Staples.
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