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Jim slowly drives over Dwight's Firebird in the parking lot in his Cybertruck. The gas tank ruptures while Jim is making his way up the elevator. Everyone is gathered in the conference room watching the resulting fireball. Jim walks in and says Dwight I think you got a flat.
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Feb 25, 2024 05:23
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Tim from the UK office puts Gareth's stapler in a jello mold.
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Feb 25, 2024 05:43
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John Wick of Dogs posted:Tim from the UK office puts Gareth's stapler in a jello mold. "Oi! Govnah! God save the queen why doncha? Oi, bugger face my name is Dwight Oliver Crisp ya numbwick, bloody wanker go piss in your cuppa why not." British Jim mugs the camera. British Kevin spills a pot of fish & chips all over the floor, and British Meredith is taken to the hospital and put on a six month waiting list.
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Feb 25, 2024 07:03
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"sum buggah put my stapler in some jelly."
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Feb 25, 2024 09:41
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Jim maxes out his Social Links with everyone in the office except for Dwight. Jim even does the extremely tedious side quest of helping Michael find a new condo that’s required for his Social Link. Because of this, Dwight never receives the inspiration to invent a new type of beet that will make him rich.
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Feb 25, 2024 10:48
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At the Wernam-Hogg offices of Slough in 1904, James Halpert performs a ribald workplace jape by placing Dwight Oliver Crisps’ patented paper fastening device inside a soupçon of lark tongues in aspic. “You mountebank!,” roars a furious Dwight. “I’ll give you what for!” James mugs at the camera for 15 minutes, like a proper British gentleman, so that the daguerreotype might fully develop. Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 16:37 on Mar 24, 2024 |
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Feb 25, 2024 12:26
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scranton, 20000BC two members of a hunter-gather cave-dwelling tribe forage in the woods near their temporary home. the brawny one in mustard-yellow animal skins has found a huge patch of nutritious wild beets; the emaciated skinny one, nude except for a pair of red moccasins lashed to his feet, focuses on a discard scrap of honeycomb. suddenly, a sabre-tooth tiger! it springs upon the two men from the shadows of the beet glade. thinking quickly, the brawny man thrusts his arm down the tiger's throat, grimacing in pain as he waves off the other forager to get help from the others in their village. the struggle continues and dwight's ancient analogue realises with dismay that his companion has not in fact gone anywhere - the capering fool is hopping from one foot to the other, pointing at the sabertooth and hooting like an imbecile, making what a 21st century onlooker would understand to be stereotypical caveman noises. due to proto-jim's inability to function as part of a society, the village's prime gatherer will die in this glade, and the village as a whole may die out. as proto-dwight succumbs to the sabertooth in despair, proto-jim uggs the panthera.
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Feb 25, 2024 12:35
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Neo-Scranton, 2019 A.D. Jim and Dwight are paper runners for the Dunder-Mifflin triad. Jim is getting blotzed on illegal Clown software when he gets a fax from Dwight informing him they have a job that will take them into the territory of a rival triad. Jim immediately forwards the fax to the rival triad. He smirks as 50,000 Scrancreds download into his secure offshore account.
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Feb 25, 2024 18:10
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Dwight and Angela attend dinner at a fancy new restaurant in town, La Maison des Farces, but things take a turn when a magician comes out to perform during dinner. He's an odd-looking fellow to be sure but Angela ensures Dwight it can't possibly be Jim. "Jim's dead, Dwight. He's finally dead. We can finally live our lives!" Dwight takes an extra-long sip from his beet juice and then thanks Angela, settling down to watch the show. The magician, who admittedly does bare a resemblance to Jim in a fake mustache, dazzles the crowd with several amazing card tricks. He expertly darts around the room, never revealing his secrets, before finally bringing his show to an amazing conclusion. "Everyone, thank you all for the applause throughout my act, but for my final trick, I ask for silence. You see, there's a little bit of backstory that must be revealed before my grand illusion can commence. This small dagger I hold in my hand isn't just for show, oh no. Watch as it expertly slices through this delicious piece of focaccia bread provided by the wonderful chefs of this restaurant. Yes, my friends, this is a real dagger, so the danger of this trick is very real. But, if everything goes well, you're all going to see a miracle tonight! Now then, I need an assistant from the audience! Oh, how about you, sir?" The magician's eyes turn on Dwight and Dwight realizes instantly that something is very wrong. There's a darkness swimming behind those eyes, a kind of malice that Dwight hasn't seen since the darkest days in the office. The magician puts a single claw-like hand on Dwight's back and leads him to the center of the restaurant. "Now then, can we get a big hand for Dwight?" The magician smiles as he says this and Dwight realizes he never gave him his name. "Okay, Dwight, you're going to act as my beautiful assistant tonight. I know, slim pickings, right? Just kidding! But if you could hold this balloon for me. Heh. Balloon boy, am I right? Just hold this balloon as I step across the room." The magician walks to the corner of the room, about 200 feet away, and then blindfolds himself. He spins around 3 times, then shakily orients himself. "Okay. Now then, Dwight, can you give a little whistle for the crowd?" Dwight struggles to do this, his mouth is extremely dry. He swallows a few times, then lets out a faint whistle. "Guess we shouldn't call you whistle boy, huh? Okay, now I need complete silence from everyone here so I can focus. I'm going to toss this dagger at Dwight. Well, at the balloon Dwight's holding, at least. That is, if everything goes well. And then, folks, you'll see that miracle I was talking about." The room goes silently as Dwight nervously stands there, realizing how insane this is. He's put his life in the hands of a stranger. No, he's put his life in the hands of Jim. This has all the hallmarks of one of his pranks, he'll probably throw the dagger directly into his crotch or maybe - The dagger sails across the room, hits the balloon, and then both the balloon and the dagger explodes into rainbow colored confetti. The crowd erupts in applause, the magician removes his blindfold and takes a bow, and Dwight is left in awe. The magician takes some theatrical bows as he walks across the room, then thanks Dwight for his participation. Dwight, still shaken, is led back to his table and a smiling Angela. "I set it up for your birthday, D! How do you think he knew your name? And check it out, they'll have a bunch of photos of it, too! So we can remember it forever!" Dwight feels calm wash over him and kisses his wife. He looks across the room and sees the magician grinning at him. Dwight smiles and waves back, causing the magician to tip his silk hat and walk out the door. Dwight and Angela finish their meal, then head home. The next morning, Dwight awakens to find Angela nervously sitting on the edge of the bed. Dwight asks what's wrong. "The, uh, the magician. The magician texted me this morning. He... he..... he didn't make it to the restaurant last night. Family emergency. He apologized for everything, refunded me. I... I asked him who his backup magician was. Dwight, there wasn't a backup. He doesn't know who that was in the restaurant." Dwight feels his blood run cold. He knows. He knew from the beginning. He rushes over to where he hung his suit jacket from the night before. "D! What's wrong? What are you looking for?" Dwight rummages through the pockets and finds something. The magician (no, Dwight reminds himself, Jim) used his deft and expertly trained hands to slip something into his pocket. A little card. Dwight pulls it out, feels bile rise in his throat, and then tosses the card to the ground. Angela rushes over and picks up the card, then reads it aloud. "Aren'tcha glad I didn't miss?" Somewhere, not far away, Jim mugs for the camera.
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Feb 26, 2024 15:03
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Frasier and Niles immediately cancel their reservations at La Maison des Farces.
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Feb 26, 2024 15:18
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Jim subtly changes the name to La Maison des Fartes.
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Feb 26, 2024 15:24
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Jim sets up a series of nearly-invisible wires around the office so he appears to be flying around, completely weightless, while Dwight is held fast to the earth with gravity. "Pretty jealous, eh, balloon boy? Crouching Halpert, Hidden Prankster, am I right?" Jim zips over to the filing cabinet, delicately lands on the floor on one toe, then grabs a file and flits off back to his desk. "I could teach you, Dwight. My training is VERY difficult, believe me. But maybe, just maybe, you can learn how to do it!" Jim chuckles, already imagining the ways he could further mess with Dwight once Dwight inevitably accepted the training. Oh yeah, Jim thinks, this'll be loving sweet. Dwight says there's no need as Sensei Mike down at the strip mall karate studio already taught everyone how to do that move. In fact, he adds, Jim might want a small refresher course, since he looks a little awkward while flying around. In fact, it almost looks like he's being held up by wires. "You're telling me YOU know how to do this, Dwight?" Jim scoffs. "I'd love to see that. I really would." Dwight says that true martial arts aren't used to show off for people or even to win fights. They're to defend people and to help train the mind, body, and spirit. Over the next few days Jim is obsessed with the idea that Dwight knows how to fly. Pam grows irritated while they're in line for Guardians of the Galaxy Presents Cosmic Rewind. "Jim, for God's sake you know Dwight can't do that. He was messing with you." "But why, Pam? What does he gain from this?" "Well, he's driving you crazy, for one thing. You barely touched your Mickey's Super Duper Ice Cream Scooper Waffle this morning." "No," Jim says, staring at his hands. "No, that's not Dwight at all. He really can fly, he was being honest about that. I just need to catch him in the act. Wait, Pam.... look! Look up there!" Jim points at a small dot in the sky. "I don't see anything, Jim. is that a bird?" "It's Dwight! LOOK! You can tell!" Jim runs off towards the center of Epcot to get a better look. As he begins climbing the Mexico pavilion, guards climb after him to drag him down. Jim starts fighting them off, all the while screaming about Dwight flying in the air. "HE'S MOCKING ME! THAT'S HIM UP THERE! LOOK, YOU FOOLS! LOOK!" Jim is tazed repeatedly and dragged to the ground, kicking and screaming about Dwight. The small dot in the sky disappears as Jim blacks out. A few hours later, Dwight returns home. "Hey, Dwight," Angela says, looking up from her book. "Did you have a good walk?" Dwight says it was very invigorating, it felt great to stretch his legs a bit. As he walks past Angela, she notices the distinct smell of citrus lingering on his clothing. "D, is there an orange grove or something around here? You smell like you walked through one." Dwight smiles at his wife.
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Feb 26, 2024 16:19
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Dwight stands, placidly, with Jim leaning companionably against him. Both Dwight and Jim are completely nude, not even wearing red tennis shoes. Dwight's attention is grabbed by a nearby leaf, which he glances at, before returning to a calm monitoring of his surroundings. Jim startles, and scampers away, making a really horrible shrieking cry that causes the other members of the office to scatter for their homes. Everyone in this situation is a rock hyrax.
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Feb 26, 2024 16:47
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Jim uses sleight of hand to surreptitiously jack Dwight off through a hole in Dwight's pants pocket, causing Dwight to experience an embarrassing emission during an important meeting.
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Feb 26, 2024 18:03
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Jim rolls for sleight of hand to surreptitiously jack of Dwight's character, Schruticus the Beetbarian, under Shruticus's loincloth. The roll is a success, causing Shcruticus to suffer an embarrassing emission during a stealth raid on an ogre's lair. Schruticus is mauled and devoured by ogres. Jim's character (an arcane trickster also named Jim) mugs up at Dwight from the "Character Sketch" box on Jim's character sheet.
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Feb 26, 2024 18:52
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any time dwight reaches his hand out to do something, jim sprints up and holds his (dwight's) hand in an affectionate manner instead. jim mugs the camera, but within the frame of its lens, he looks oddly like a child holding a grown-up's hand in order to safely cross the street.
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Feb 26, 2024 23:04
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Any time Dwight opens his mouth to say something, a tiny Jim farts in it (Dwight's mouth).
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Feb 27, 2024 01:06
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At the annual St. Patrick’s Day office party, Jim asks Dwight (who is trying to cut back on his alcohol) if he’d like a “mocktail”. Pleased at the unexpected kindness, Dwight ascents. With superhuman speed Jim turns Dwight around and hot glues a donkey tail to Dwight’s butt, which has crudely written insults drawn up and down its length.
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Feb 27, 2024 01:11
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Jim keeps bringing up the fact that Aeris is going to die by Sephiroth’s hand in stunning 4K, making Dwight sad and anxious about playing Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
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Feb 27, 2024 04:38
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Jim keeps telling Aerie that she is a circus clown and that Jaheira is a better healer. He promises he can restore her wings if she just climbs the stairs to the top of the building and demands Dwight renounce Kara-te as a usable martial art, otherwise she'll jump off the building. Dwight gets on the bullhorn and tells her he has developed a beet restorative genetic treatment which will restore her wings, but she must defeat him in hand to hand combat to win it. Aerie jumps off the building and lands with a soft splat in a large jello pool Jim has set up in the parking lot. Pam climbs out of the jello pool after removing the handcuffs which were securing her to Aerie.
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Feb 27, 2024 04:54
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Jim: Dwight I just got wonderful news! The great clown pagliacci is in town Dwight! Dwight: He's your favorite isn't he? Jim: YES! IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE HIM WHAT ABOUT YOU,! Dwight: Oh... I'll be there tonight. Jim: No you won't nerd! (Dwight sees that his legs have been super glued to the chair and he can't move) Jim: That oughta keep you there for about a day or two. And I get to see Pagliacci perform his one night only! And you won't get to see any of it! (Jim dashes out the door and straight to the Scranton coliseum to see Pagliacci. Sadly Pagliacci never shows up. No one knows where he is, he's never been late before) (Dwight cries for the camera)
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Feb 27, 2024 05:04
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Jim tells Dwight that his (Dwight's) favorite new anime will not get more than one season. This isn't a prank, it's just how it goes. Jim tells Dwight to just accept it's one-and-done and move on. "There's really no point in watching them. You'd be better spending your time with the manga, since that's the only way you're going to see where the stories go, anyway." Dwight cites examples of several modern anime that managed to get more than one season and Jim just shakes his head and tells Dwight, "Good luck with that." Dwight sits at his desk for the rest of the week and internally rages that piece of poo poo Jim... is right.
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Feb 27, 2024 05:49
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Taffy Jr. posted:Jim rolls for sleight of hand to surreptitiously jack of Dwight's character, Schruticus the Beetbarian, under Shruticus's loincloth. Dwight is sick of Jim's character Jim constantly "accidentally" getting his (Dwight's) character killed while they're playing D&D and whines to Michael, the Dungeon Master (DM), to stop. Jim smirks and points to his character sheet, where his (Jim's) alignment is listed as "Chaotic Neutral". "Sorry, buddy, can't do anything." says Michael, somewhat sympathetically but also clearly disinterested in the entire conversation. "He's acting completely in line with his character. Maybe you should try roleplaying a little, hmmm?" Frustrated, Dwight rolls up yet another character: the Paladin Beetronius the Brave, a humble philanthropist and righter of wrongs. He introduces himself to the party consisting of Andy the Bard, Pam the Dwarven Monk, Stanley the Elven Ranger, Toby the HR Rep, and of course, Jim the Arcane Trickster. When he asks if he may join the party on their wanderings and quests, Jim says no. "Michael!" shouts Dwight. "You're breaking character again, Dwight. Please try to take this seriously. You're the one who kept asking for us to play Dominos and Dodos-" "-Dungeons and Dragons.." "-whatever. You're the the one who kept asking for us to use our lunch time this way, and Jim kept saying he didn't want to waste his time with this virginal nerd crap; but now he's the one who's really into it, and you're the one complaining the whole time! I really don't get where your head's at, buddy." Deflated, Dwight turns back to the table. "I use my chivalric persuasiveness to try to convince the party to let me join them," he says sullenly. "Roll," says Michael. "Wait. I already rejected him once, so this is a second attempt." says Jim, who memorized all the rules of all the books (including supplements) last night. "Oh, good catch. Thanks, Jim. That means you're at a disadvantage for this one." Dwight rolls and just barely succeeds on his skill roll. "That's a marginal success, so your'e making headway, but you aren't there yet. Is there some way you could convince-" "Oh! I know! I know!" shouts Jim, raising his hand and hopping out of his chair. "He needs to do a dance and a song! A DANCE AND A SONG!" Andy claps, "Yes! Sing! He needs to convince us through song!" Andy (the real one) reaches under the table and pulls out a banjo. He starts to strum an oddly affecting simple tune; one that would not be out of place in a medieval fantasy world. "You have to sing!" shouts Jim, "You have to sing for real!" Dwight awkwardly makes up some words on the spot, singing in a falsetto: "My name is Lord Beetronius, / and I bet you to join us. / My quest is to save / the village this... uhh..." "DANCE!" screams Jim, practically bursting, "DANCE! YOU HAVE TO DANCE! MICHAEL, MICHAEL, TELL HIM HE HAS TO DANCE!" Michael nods, considering this, and then tells Dwight that it would "help [his] chances." Dwight gets on top of the conference room table and starts dancing a merry jig while singing a fantastical tune extemporaneously to the strum of Andy's banjo while Jim pounds the table and hoots in delight. The camera pans down to the ground, where a D&D rule book has been kicked. It zooms in on the cover, which is a naturalistic painting of a group of adventurers walking down the steps of an ancient cavernous temple. The elf and dwarf lead the way while a wizard seems to prepare some kind of spell. The character closest to the viewer is a rascally-looking man in a floppy hat carrying a shortsword and a wand, and he is looking back toward the viewer with a sly, smirking expression.
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Feb 27, 2024 06:00
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My favorite part is how Toby's fantasy persona is also an HR Rep.
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Feb 27, 2024 13:32
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Taffy Jr. posted:My favorite part is how Toby's fantasy persona is also an HR Rep. Toby gets a -1 to all non human characters
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Feb 27, 2024 15:27
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Jim creates an elaborate costume that makes him look like a low polygon version of himself, not unlike a character from Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. His face is, of course, a low resolution photo of his mugging expression. He spends all day walking around in this costume, occasionally bumping into things to add to the "aura" that he's actually a character from an early 3D video game. Dwight finds the amount of effort pretty impressive, but gets irritated when Jim spends 15 minutes blocking the sinks in the bathroom, staring at his reflection. "These are.... great graphics!" Jim says in a weird, slightly mechanical voice. Dwight asks if Jim can please move so he (Dwight) can wash his hands. "These are... great graphics!" Jim says in the same voice, moving slightly left and right, enraptured by his reflection.
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Feb 27, 2024 16:30
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Jim claims to have a "recording of the audio of Hell" which he offers to play for everyone in the office. Nobody cares but Jim plays it anyway. It is, admittedly, pretty chilling. There's a strange droning noise, something that sounds like a river violently rushing over rocks, and then a terrifying scream. "Okay, Jim," Oscar says. "That was kind of scary. How did you make this?" "I didn't make anything. I just recorded it. I found a pit to Hell. Simple as that. I hope you all get used to it, because you'll probably all end in there one day." Dwight looks especially shaken by this, oddly enough, and sits there, pale as a ghost and covered in sweat. How did Jim get a microphone into my urologists office, he wonders to himself.
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Feb 27, 2024 19:11
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Jim finishes building a giant drill that he intends to pilot straight into the Earth’s core. “That’s impossible, Jim” says Dwight. “The drill would melt. And the core of the Earth becomes magma of huge pressure.” Jim ignores Dwight’s naysaying, as he intends to drill straight down to the center of the earth and stop the planet’s core from spinning so that he can live his dream: establishing a B&B that he could-manages with Satan. With trepidation everyone gathers in the warehouse (which, for budget reason, is where the drill was built and will be launched from) to watch the embarkation. Unfortunately for Jim, the giant drill explodes, catches on fire, and then collapses into itself the second Jim pushes the “On” button. A piece of shrapnel flies toward Dwight, who quickly ducks. It flies over his head and severely injures Meredith, who has to be taken to the hospital. Jim, cursing the fact that he hasn’t scored Dwight’s ninth kill yet, pledges to build a “bigger drill, solar powered so that it’s eco-friendly.” (This isn’t a prank, it’s part of a huge tax fraud scheme that Jim is involved in to claim all the environmental tax credits available in Pennsylvania.)
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Feb 27, 2024 19:51
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Jim anonymously releases the "Prankruder Film", home video footage which shows Dwight walking through the grassy knoll during the JFK assassination. In reality it's just a poorly produced fake, splicing together footage of Dwight walking through his back yard and the actual Zapruder film. Nevertheless, the video becomes incredibly popular on social media and Dwight is asked to testify in front of a congressional committee chaired by Marjorie Taylor Greene. "Have fun, Dwight!" Jim says, theatrically waving a little monogrammed scarf at him. "Au revoir! Enjoy your time in Washington! I'm sure it'll be very fruitful and a good use of your time!"
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Feb 27, 2024 19:57
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through a series of unlikely events engineered by Jim, Dwight ends up being jerked off in public by Lauren Boebert
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Feb 27, 2024 20:22
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Jim shouts “BEETJUICE BEETJUICE BEETJUICE!!!” causing everyone’s favorite troublesome beet demon to appear. Dwight’s face is pulled into a bowl of beet soup.
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Feb 27, 2024 20:59
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Jim get into his time travel machine and sends himself back to Scranton in 1976. He sees Dwight, a rising freshman at Scranton High, on the football field running drills. Dwight's muscles ripple through his uniform as he awkwardly flirts with a cheerleader. It's clear that this young boy will develop into a strong leader and a dominant athlete. Jim slips a VHS from the future of Battlestar Galactica into Dwight's duffle bag, changing the course of Dwight's life forever.
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Feb 27, 2024 22:25
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LaserPrinter69 posted:Jim get into his time travel machine and sends himself back to Scranton in 1976. He sees Dwight, a rising freshman at Scranton High, on the football field running drills. Dwight's muscles ripple through his uniform as he awkwardly flirts with a cheerleader. It's clear that this young boy will develop into a strong leader and a dominant athlete. Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:through a series of unlikely events engineered by Jim, Dwight ends up being jerked off in public by Lauren Boebert
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Feb 28, 2024 01:46
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Jim makes tender yet passionate mugs to the camera.
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Feb 28, 2024 01:56
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:through a series of unlikely events engineered by Jim, Dwight ends up being jerked off in public by Lauren Boebert Jim rearranges the letters of Lauren Boebert's name to spell out "ole NRA beet rub", then mugs at the camera.
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Feb 28, 2024 07:22
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Jim anonymously releases grainy footage of a cryptid named “Beetfoot”, a terrifying beast that lurks in the forests of north Pennsylvania, covered in the blood of its victims. (It’s actually just Dwight, naked and drenched in beet juice, stumbling around his farm in a daze after being chloroformed by Jim.)
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Feb 28, 2024 09:29
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Dwight wakes up in the warehouse of Dunder-Mifflin, tied to a chair, his mouth gagged, and his feet soaking in wet cement. "I told you what would happen to you if you didn't stay out of our business, Schrute!" A masked man said. "Once this dries, we're driving you out to the docks and dumping you in the lake! After you're gone, no one is going to stop us from flooding Scranton with drugs! From now on, we own thi-- thi-- Who the gently caress are you!? Step out into the light! I'm not playing around!" The gangsters point their guns into the darkness as a gangly figure begins to shuffle out. Jim walks out of the shadows, eating sugar from a 5-lb bag, wiping his hands on his shirt. "Oh, hey, yeah, I'm Jim. Jim Halpert. Hi, how are you guys? Don't mind me, I'm just here to prank Dwight. Let's see, what's going on? Yeah... Oh, I wasn't expecting to find Dwight like this. Hold on a second." Jim begins to leave and the gangsters fill him with bullets. Jim waves his hand at them, his back turned, and keeps walking. Two of the gangsters chase after him, into the shadows. A second later, the sound of their footsteps go silent. Dwight, still tied to the chair, begins convulsing and grunting, trying to get the main thug's attention, but failing. The thug smirks at the sudden fear in Dwight's eyes. "You're right to be scared, Schrute. Your friend ain't gonna get far with that many bullets in him! My boys will--" Dwight tried to howl again through his gag. "Okay, I'm back!" Jim announces, from the opposite side of the warehouse, carrying a gas can. "Is that Lexus yours? That's what I call a 'sweet ride'." Jim mugs at the gangster. The gangster shoots Jim point blank, 6 times in a row, but Jim doesn't stop moving towards Dwight. "Man, I'm having to improvise here thanks to you!" Jim complains, pouring gasoline all over Dwight's head and body. "You're making me escalate this, too!" Dwight begins thrashing in his bonds as Jim pulls out a match and lights it, tossing on Dwight's lap. Dwight erupts into a column of flames. The gangster looks at the scene in horror, then is paralyzed when Jim turns his gaze towards him. The gangster runs like hell back to his Lexus and begins to drive off, watching the warehouse in flames in his rear view as his car sputters and dies about half a mile up the road. Getting out of the car he runs as far as he can and vanishes into the night. Three months later, the same gangster sits in an office of an import-export business in Columbia, a mob front for their illegal cocaine smuggling business. Still haunted by the death of Dwight Schrute and the floppy-haired man who wouldn't die, he longs for the 'workday' to end, so he can return to the farm that the mob gave him to manage the drug harvesting of. He'd actually found he had a remarkable green thumb, boosted the addictive quality of the mob's drug supply by at least 200%. He was a superstar in the outfit now. Soon he'd be moved up, maybe even made second in command of the entire South American region. Nothing could stop him. "Everyone, may I have your attention!" Mickey came out of his office. "The boys back in the states sent us some new blood. This is Jim, he's going to be working with us from now on! Treat him like family!" Seeing the floppy-haired man from his nightmares, the gangster slowly slid his hand into his desk for his hidden gun, only to find his fingers slipping into... Jello?
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Feb 28, 2024 10:43
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Wtf did some demon banish AFH to only post in this dumb fuckin thread? Begone you vile beast!! Trump thread needs you so bad.
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Feb 28, 2024 10:54
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Jim banishes Dwight from message boards and forums about his favorite topics, forcing him to shitpost in tedious political debates
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Feb 28, 2024 11:54
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| # ? May 31, 2024 20:33 |
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Dwight notices something different about his acupuncturist, Dr. Bacupuncturist, but can’t quite place it. “He’s just a little floppier than usual, that’s all,” he comforts himself while lying face down on the table. In the prep room, Dr. Bacupuncturist replaces his needles with rusty railroad spikes.
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Feb 28, 2024 12:20
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