PYF Schadenfreude: Look at this pigs huge ball

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madmatt112: Jul 11, 2016; Is that a cat in your pants, or are you just a lonely excuse for an adult?

Tagra posted:

"What's the physio gonna do?"

What�s the physio gonna do??

https://youtu.be/TT9ArM3-KJQ?si=-JL8kxaaK2_asXNx

# ? Feb 27, 2024 03:25

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# ? May 26, 2024 18:59

Ninurta: Sep 19, 2007; What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

bobjr posted:

I note that 0% of Americans think they can beat a small sized dog. Wise choice.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 03:28

DarkDobe: Jul 11, 2008; Things are looking up...

Honestly the most terrifying animal on that list is the Chimp.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:07

Master Twig: Oct 25, 2007; I want to branch out and I'm going to stick with it.

A lot of that depends on if you're motivated to actually hurt the animal. A goose is like 20 pounds and has fragile, hollow bones. You can easily beat it in a fight.

But in reality, people lose to the goose because the goose is giving it's all, and the human doesn't actually want to hurt the goose. Weight class matters a lot. I mean, it's just an animal. You'd have to be pretty sick to actually try to hurt most of these animals. A cobra would probably result in you killing each other. 0% of people could be a lion, gorilla, elephant or bear.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:21

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Master Twig posted:

and the human doesn't actually want to hurt the goose

Speak for yourself. Fuckin goose assholes :arghfist:

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:22

fishing with the fam: Feb 29, 2008; Durr

It doesn't specify fist fight. I would simply bring a claymore to the fight.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:24

Bottom Liner: Feb 15, 2006; a specific vein of lasagna

DarkDobe posted:

Honestly the most terrifying animal on that list is the Chimp.

Nah grizzly 1000%

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:27

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

fishing with the fam posted:

It doesn't specify fist fight. I would simply bring a claymore to the fight.

I would bring several dozen claymores to the fight.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:30

bobjr: Oct 16, 2012; Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

I'd rather take on the wolf than the chimp, but more people are confident they could take on the chimp.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:34

tribbledirigible: Jul 27, 2004; I finally beat the internet. The end boss was hard.

bobjr posted:

I'd rather take on the wolf than the chimp, but more people are confident they could take on the chimp.

Just throw a little sand to show dominance.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:42

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Captain Hygiene posted:

I could beat almost any given crab, having stacked my evolutionary stats in size rather than superior body design

The crab gets to choose the arena

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:43

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

fishing with the fam posted:

It doesn't specify fist fight. I would simply bring a claymore to the fight.

I could win a goose in a fist fight, but if you give them swords then the odds are even.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:45

HelloIAmYourHeart: Dec 29, 2008; Fallen Rib

I'm confident that Stupid Newbie there in my avatar, who is a very laid back and cooperative cat, would win a fight with me if she truly went for it,

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:08

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

I would hurt goose or maverick, idgaf

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:09

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

DarkDobe posted:

Honestly the most terrifying animal on that list is the Chimp.

croc in the water imo also that graph was prenope post nope the chimp went down for sure

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:09

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

I've killed a moose with my bare hands it is a rite of passage

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:10

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS posted:

I've killed a moose with my bare hands it is a rite of passage

we arent all canadian.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:12

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

Inceltown posted:

I would hurt goose or maverick, idgaf

You're ice cold

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:13

madmatt112: Jul 11, 2016; Is that a cat in your pants, or are you just a lonely excuse for an adult?

bobjr posted:

I'd rather take on the wolf than the chimp, but more people are confident they could take on the chimp.

The chimp has FOUR, count �em, FOUR opposable thumb digits. If I get a wolf�s back in a chokehold it might not be able to get out, but a chimp would simply reach back and tear my eyeballs out or my jaw off.

Anyone who thinks they can fight a chimp has a chimpbrain.

e: ok maybe their big toes aren�t quite thumbs in function but my point stands.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:19

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

0% think they can defeat a rhino. Curious!

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:20

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

If it's a kill or be killed situation, I'd rather fight a wolf than a chimp, but I wouldn't put money on me in either case.

(Actually I would put everything I own on me because if I don't win what the gently caress do I care about losing money in addition to being dead).

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:27

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

bobjr posted:

I'm more concerned that 28% of us would roll over for a single rat. Though looking at our recent political history maybe this isn't that surprising after all.

e:

DarkDobe posted:

Honestly the most terrifying animal on that list is the Chimp.

I was going to say elephant, but yeah if you ever want to not sleep for a week, look up the injuries people sustain during chimp attacks :barf:

They're close enough to us that they know exactly where to aim for Critical Damage^TM.

Takes No Damage has a new favorite as of 05:35 on Feb 27, 2024

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:30

DarkDobe: Jul 11, 2008; Things are looking up...

Takes No Damage posted:

I was going to say elephant, but yeah if you ever want to not sleep for a week, look up the injuries people sustain during chimp attacks They're close enough to us that they know exactly where to aim for Critical Damage^TM.

Its this.

The bear? Probably going to kill me, hopefully fast. (I don't think I can beat one in a fight)
Croc? Definitely going to kill me and it'll be pretty quick.
The chimp? PROBABLY going to mutilate me and leave me alive a'la 'To The Pain' Princess Bride style.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:41

Bottom Liner: Feb 15, 2006; a specific vein of lasagna

Takes No Damage posted:

I was going to say elephant, but yeah if you ever want to not sleep for a week, look up the injuries people sustain during chimp attacks They're close enough to us that they know exactly where to aim for Critical Damage^TM.

That's just it though, you sustain injuries. When a grizzly gets you, you don't sustain.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:42

DarkDobe: Jul 11, 2008; Things are looking up...

Bottom Liner posted:

That's just it though, you sustain injuries. When a grizzly gets you, you don't sustain.

You seem to mistake things here: I would rather be dead then 'survive' a chimp attack.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:43

Large Testicles: Jun 1, 2020; [ASK] ME ABOUT MY LOVE FOR 1'S

Bottom Liner posted:

That's just it though, you sustain injuries. When a grizzly gets you, you don't sustain.

rather be dead than have my balls and eyes ripped off

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:43

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Large Testicles posted:

rather be dead than have my balls and eyes ripped off

Trustable username/post combo

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:44

Bottom Liner: Feb 15, 2006; a specific vein of lasagna

Large Testicles posted:

rather be dead than have my balls and eyes ripped off

depends just how large

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:46

HenryJLittlefinger: Jan 31, 2010; stomp clap

I once wrestled a whitetail buck down and euthanized it with a small pocket knife but he had been hit by a car shortly before and I also did not get away uninjured.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:47

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

Bottom Liner posted:

That's just it though, you sustain injuries. When a grizzly gets you, you don't sustain.

If you knew anything about chimp attack injuries you would welcome a 'grizzly' death :v:

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:03

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

I'm confident that Stupid Newbie there in my avatar, who is a very laid back and cooperative cat, would win a fight with me if she truly went for it,

I believe in you.

You and the cat could both lose.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:07

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Takes No Damage posted:

I'm more concerned that 28% of us would roll over for a single rat.

In a fight between me and a rat I don't think either of us would "win" because we'd both be trying to not fight each other. If I needed to kill a rat I would not "fight" it, I'd set a trap.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:10

BigHead: Jul 25, 2003; Huh?; Nap Ghost

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

I once wrestled a whitetail buck down and euthanized it with a small pocket knife but he had been hit by a car shortly before and I also did not get away uninjured.

I wrestled a llama once, and won. This was in a forest so it was a fair fight. Fucker spat on me though.

I firmly believe I have won in hand to hand combat against the largest or at least in the top five largest animals of anyone on the forums. Llamas are huge.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:12

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

The fact that 28% of people apparently don't think they can beat a rat in a fight shows that people answering these sorts of surveys have very different definitions of "win."

No human is going to lose to a rat in the sense of "the rat is triumphant and the human dies." But if your definition of "lose a fight" is "get injured", then maybe you're afraid that the rat bites you before you, idk, loving crush its tiny bones with your bare hands because you're a few hundred times bigger than it. And because you're not confident in your ability to not get bitten, you say "no." Or, as Tiggum suggests, maybe they're including "being able to track down and catch your opponent" as part of the "fight".

Can I "win" in the sense of "sustain zero injury and kill my opponent"?
Can I "win" in the sense of "sustain no permanent damage and kill my opponent"?
Can I "win" in the sense of "kill the animal and still be alive (but perhaps maimed)"?
Can I "win" in the sense of "scare off the animal and get away alive"?

So one's response to the survey not only depends on how confident they are, but also in how they interpret the question. So I think that's why these survey responses are always closer to 50% than you'd expect (in both directions). Those crazy 8% of people who think they can take a lion surely includes a lot of deluded toxic-masculinity-brained morons who think they could kill a lion unscathed, but also people who might be just thinking, "I can wave my arms and scream at it until it goes away," which is probably true, and considering that as having "won" the "fight".

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:26

Stupid_Sexy_Flander: Mar 14, 2007; Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?; Grimey Drawer

Bears will kill you and eat you.

Rhinos will kill and eat you.

Chimps will just gently caress you up and then eat you and if you die, well, poo poo happens.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:28

Bottom Liner: Feb 15, 2006; a specific vein of lasagna

DontMockMySmock posted:

The fact that 28% of people apparently don't think they can beat a rat in a fight shows that people answering these sorts of surveys have very different definitions of "win."

No human is going to lose to a rat in the sense of "the rat is triumphant and the human dies." But if your definition of "lose a fight" is "get injured", then maybe you're afraid that the rat bites you before you, idk, loving crush its tiny bones with your bare hands because you're a few hundred times bigger than it. And because you're not confident in your ability to not get bitten, you say "no." Or, as Tiggum suggests, maybe they're including "being able to track down and catch your opponent" as part of the "fight".

Can I "win" in the sense of "sustain zero injury and kill my opponent"?
Can I "win" in the sense of "sustain no permanent damage and kill my opponent"?
Can I "win" in the sense of "kill the animal and still be alive (but perhaps maimed)"?
Can I "win" in the sense of "scare off the animal and get away alive"?

So one's response to the survey not only depends on how confident they are, but also in how they interpret the question. So I think that's why these survey responses are always closer to 50% than you'd expect (in both directions). Those crazy 8% of people who think they can take a lion surely includes a lot of deluded toxic-masculinity-brained morons who think they could kill a lion unscathed, but also people who might be just thinking, "I can wave my arms and scream at it until it goes away," which is probably true, and considering that as having "won" the "fight".

rat gives you rat disease and you die two weeks later, checkmate dumbass human

# ? Feb 27, 2024 06:29