PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

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Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Stoatbringer posted:

I'd guess DeviantArt will have detailed diagrams for you.

There's probably even a published author out there who got their start doing train loving fiction online. The Loco Motive or some poo poo.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 14:00

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:25

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

In soviet russia (and other select locales), train fucks you

# ? Feb 29, 2024 14:31

Unkempt: May 24, 2003; ...perfect spiral, scientists are still figuring it out...

Thomas the Wank Engine

# ? Feb 29, 2024 14:45

Macdeo Lurjtux: Jul 5, 2011; BRRREADSTOOORRM!

Alucard posted:

Only one way to stop that infernal masturbation

With internal masturbation?

# ? Feb 29, 2024 15:29

Shaddak: Nov 13, 2011

# ? Feb 29, 2024 15:38

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

mrpwase posted:

Well, yeah, the anxiety goes away after you insert it.

malarkey? or effective way?

# ? Feb 29, 2024 16:38

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

Groda posted:

We're pretty clear on what Dave Thomas's parents felt about him...

# ? Feb 29, 2024 16:54

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

# ? Feb 29, 2024 17:01

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Roblo posted:

Wait shoving one of these up your arse helps with piles?

I don't know if it works but I can see the logic. Hemerobiids are butt veins swelling and bulging out of where they are supposed to go. If you are on your feat all day and get swollen feet and varicose veins then compression socks may provide some relief -- so would compressing those swollen butt veins also provide relief? Maybe?

# ? Feb 29, 2024 18:46

Kheldarn: Feb 17, 2011

BiggerBoat posted:

Is this one of those "gently caress, marry, kill" things? Because I'm conflicted here.

Pretty much. You're presented with 3 people, and you declare who you'd Trains, who you'd Sluts, and who you'd Drugs.

Wild EEPROM posted:

The best wendys was yellow wendys

100% Fact.

Groda posted:

We're pretty clear on what Dave Thomas's parents felt about him...

# ? Feb 29, 2024 18:49

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

Facebook Aunt posted:

Anxiety is a huge problem in modern society. Perhaps we need to return to tradition.

Wendy's tabletops used to be covered in old-timey ads.

before I fully scrolled down, I thought this was one of them

# ? Feb 29, 2024 18:53

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

Empty Sandwich posted:

Wendy's tabletops used to be covered in old-timey ads.

before I fully scrolled down, I thought this was one of them

Nah, if you want fast relief from constipation you want Taco Bell

# ? Feb 29, 2024 19:21

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Thaddius the Large posted:

Nah, if you want fast relief from constipation you want Taco Bell

LOL, no, don't try this. If you've got the constipation and you try to eat something that usually gives you diarrhea on top of it the result is very unpleasant. The solid plug of constipation is in the way, so the bloating and pressure just builds up behind it. Things will eventually give way, but it's a bad time. Just buy a stool softener instead.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 20:40

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Abugadu posted:

you just start railing it

Too good to be forgotten on the last page.

Groda posted:

We're pretty clear on what Dave Thomas's parents felt about him...

Also, the dude's first name was Rex. Why you'd choose not to be Rex and use your middle name Dave, I don't know. No offense to Daves in the crowd, but based on the sample of size of one I just asked, all of you would universally choose Rex.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 20:58

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Admiralty Flag posted:

Also, the dude's first name was Rex. Why you'd choose not to be Rex and use your middle name Dave, I don't know. No offense to Daves in the crowd, but based on the sample of size of one I just asked, all of you would universally choose Rex.

I don't know if I would. Rex is a stereotypical dog name. It's like one level below calling yourself Fido or Spot.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:04

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

What about Hannibal?

E: pretend I was gargling gravel just now

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:07

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

Cocaine Bear posted:

What about Hannibal?

Rex Hannibal? Sounds weird.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:08

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ8Mi8mvVq4

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:09

Macdeo Lurjtux: Jul 5, 2011; BRRREADSTOOORRM!

Admiralty Flag posted:

Too good to be forgotten on the last page.

Also, the dude's first name was Rex. Why you'd choose not to be Rex and use your middle name Dave, I don't know. No offense to Daves in the crowd, but based on the sample of size of one I just asked, all of you would universally choose Rex.

But then he could be Dave Rex Thomas and make everyone named Thomas scared.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:13

root beer: Nov 13, 2005

Admiralty Flag posted:

Also, the dude's first name was Rex. Why you'd choose not to be Rex and use your middle name Dave, I don't know. No offense to Daves in the crowd, but based on the sample of size of one I just asked, all of you would universally choose Rex.

I knew a guy who went by Rex in elementary school, I can�t remember if it was his middle name or a nickname or whatever, but he later decided it sounded childish and went by his first name, Jason, in high school. He ended up being a super churchy type and I think wanted to join the Rangers or Green Berets or whatever. Dunno or really care if he succeeded.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:31

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

root beer posted:

I knew a guy who went by Rex in elementary school, I can’t remember if it was his middle name or a nickname or whatever, but he later decided it sounded childish and went by his first name, Jason, in high school. He ended up being a super churchy type and I think wanted to join the Rangers or Green Berets or whatever. Dunno or really care if he succeeded.

Rex is a great first name for a Red Ranger

# ? Feb 29, 2024 21:38

Bezoar: May 2, 2007

Cocaine Bear posted:

What about Hannibal?

E: pretend I was gargling gravel just now

Your parole officer is as proud of you as I am for this reference.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 22:39

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Unkempt posted:

Thomas the Wank Engine

The Little Engine That Could gently caress.

# ? Feb 29, 2024 23:07

Gorilla Radio: May 10, 2007; On behalf of the Serbs, we're very sorry for the Hillary Clinton sniper incident. Next time, we'll aim better.

root beer posted:

I think wanted to join the Rangers or Green Berets or whatever.

Army Vet here. If you or anyone you know wants to join the military keep this in mind:

Recruiters LOVE people like this. Because across the military (army and talking to other branches), if you fail a selection you automatically become "needs of the [Branch]". So recruiters will get people to sign up promising Ranger Battalion/Green Berets (Special Forces)/SEALS/PJs (Pararescue)/Marine Recon selection KNOWING the person will fail and get pushed to paper-filer/supply person/deck swabber while the recruiter gets closer to making numbers for the month.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 00:02

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

It works all the time too. So many guys getting shanghaied by their ego into the military. It's honestly funny and a little depressing.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 00:43

hooah: Feb 6, 2006; WTF?

Worked out great for me as a musician!

# ? Mar 1, 2024 00:45

Amphigory: Feb 6, 2005

Facebook Aunt posted:

LOL, no, don't try this. If you've got the constipation and you try to eat something that usually gives you diarrhea on top of it the result is very unpleasant. The solid plug of constipation is in the way, so the bloating and pressure just builds up behind it. Things will eventually give way, but it's a bad time. Just buy a stool softener instead.

"Overflow diarrhea" it's called

I had it once due to combination of injury, then opiates, then illness

It is NOT fun

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:09

Byzantine: Sep 1, 2007

Amphigory posted:

"Overflow diarrhea"

A truly horrifying combination of words.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:18

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

I call it the Dam-Buster. First the chunky drat breaks, then the flood follows.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:25

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Byzantine posted:

A truly horrifying combination of words.

That could be your next president, so please be respectful.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:27

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Cocaine Bear posted:

That could be your next president, so please be respectful.

Respect the flag with the thick brown line with the thin brown line on top of it

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:30

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Ugh had that after I had surgery for a bowel rupture. I destroyed the toilet st the hospital

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:35

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Amphigory posted:

"Overflow diarrhea" it's called

This and the military posts in close proximity reminded me of one of my favorite goon stories:

Suntan Boy posted:

Military ERs are always a special flavor of batshit, in a medical field rife with WTF stories.

My patient one night was brought in from the field by their medic, complaining of abdominal pain for 2 days, and unable to poo poo for 3. He looked ok, other than clearly being profoundly uncomfortable. The medic had tried a short regimen of stool softeners, to no avail, and their aid station had given him a bottle of magnesium citrate to chug, which just made it hurt more. Even when he was alone in the room with one of the staff, dude didn't let on that he knew exactly what the problem was, and it wasn't the steady diet of MREs and dehydration.

"Belly hurts, can't poo poo" isn't particularly unusual for Joe, but it does warrant an x-ray as a matter of course. Woke up the tech, who wheeled the patient off to do their thing. After they came back, the tech pulls us off to the side.

"He's got a dildo or something stuck up there, but it's weird; I can't see any batteries or plastic. Here, take a look."

Gathered around the computer, we start trying to figure out the object jammed in this man's rectum. Completely opaque, so probably metal or ceramic... north end has a blunt taper... measures about 40mm by 45mm...

"Oh gently caress," one of my newbie medics breathed. "That's a 203 round."

"Oh gently caress," the rest of the army folks in the room agreed. "It's a launched grenade," I explained to to nonplussed doctor. After a moment's consideration, "Oh gently caress."

To his credit, the doctor did not stride back into that patient's room like his rear end in a top hat had just tried to vacuum up a chair cushion. He did scoot out of there with a quickness once he'd confirmed what it was, and that there was no way he'd be able to get it out right there. A flurry of phone calls followed: the doctor with the surgeon, the charge nurse with several levels of department and hospital leadership, and myself with EOD. Every conversation went pretty much the same: sleepy disbelief, laughter, "oh poo poo, I/we'll be right there". Fortunately, he was the only patient in the entire building, so evacuating everyone amounted to half a dozen disgruntled staff in the parking lot in the middle of the night.

After some uneventful waiting, the EOD and surgical teams arrived, wheeled dude to the operating room, and got to work. It was reportedly asses-to-elbows with both groups in there at the same time, but they got the round out mostly without incident. "Mostly", because dude's bowels had been corked for 3 days, and all those MREs suddenly had an exit route; the immediate aftermath was best described as "chocolate mousse fired from a blunderbuss". The round was whisked away by the EOD crew, and dude was quietly disappeared after a brief stint in the recovery ward. No idea what happened to either one of them, sadly.

NTC was a weird place.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:40

BiggerBoat: Sep 26, 2007; Don't you tell me my business again.

Facebook Aunt posted:

LOL, no, don't try this. If you've got the constipation and you try to eat something that usually gives you diarrhea on top of it the result is very unpleasant. The solid plug of constipation is in the way, so the bloating and pressure just builds up behind it. Things will eventually give way, but it's a bad time. Just buy a stool softener instead.

THis man speaks the truth.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:54

damn horror queefs: Oct 14, 2005; say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

fartknocker posted:

This and the military posts in close proximity reminded me of one of my favorite goon stories:

Lmao that's hosed

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:54

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Reminds me of the soldier/Marine in...Vietnam? that caught an RPG in his torso/pelvis that (obviously) did not detonate

(Afghanistan)

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/surgeons-bomb-expert-saved-soldiers-life-grenade-tore/story?id=49770488

e: seems to be a thing: https://ifeg.info/2023/08/03/soldiers-courageous-battle-surviving-with-an-rpg-stuck-in-his-leg/

# ? Mar 1, 2024 02:17

Tendales: Mar 9, 2012

Army boys make do

# ? Mar 1, 2024 02:18

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

these are the daves i know I know, these are the daves I know !

# ? Mar 1, 2024 02:32

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

please feel free to use the complimentary butt plug included with your meal

# ? Mar 1, 2024 03:37

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:25

The Demilich: Apr 9, 2020; The First Rites of Men Were Mortuary, the First Altars Tombs.

root beer posted:

I knew a guy who went by Rex in elementary school, I can’t remember if it was his middle name or a nickname or whatever, but he later decided it sounded childish and went by his first name, Jason, in high school. He ended up being a super churchy type and I think wanted to join the Rangers or Green Berets or whatever. Dunno or really care if he succeeded.

I love Jesus, and the best way to live my life in accordance to his teachings is by murdering whomever my superiors tell me too.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 05:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

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