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The Lone Badger posted:Does it really count as being killed by a horse if you just fell off? Maybe it's like police reporting? The rider became involved in a horse-related fall.
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Mar 17, 2024 08:37
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canyoneer posted:Similarly, what's the non-human animal in Australia that has killed the most people in the last two decades? Poor Freckles, thought of an Aussie and killed him.
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Mar 17, 2024 08:43
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mrfart posted:https://i.imgur.com/tDE5E2K.mp4 I didn't watch Transformers: Beast Wars, but if they didn't have the budget for the scene with the Giraffobots they should have just cut it from the script.
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Mar 17, 2024 10:24
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Platystemon posted:That’s like saying that venomous snakes are no big deal because they hardly kill anyone. They hardly kill anyone because people don’t gently caress with venomous snakes, and if they are bitten, they promptly receive treatment. Another great example of an overblown danger. Venomous snakes aren't a big threat unless you're a male in your late teens-early twenties (bonus points if you're drunk). Turns out snakes don't really bite unless you repeatedly antagonize them and/or pick them up. Ulthar posted:Seeing animals out in the day that are typically active in the evening or night time is absolutely a potential sign of disease though Absent any other signs, it doesn't mean anything. The general population just don't have a strong grasp on the habits of most animals.
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Mar 17, 2024 10:29
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credburn posted:I don't get why you goons like referencing that one joke. Like 40% of this thread is just repeating that joke. Where did it come from? Add it to the pile along with "didnt have ... on my bingo card", loss edits and "no ring" in the Unfunny poo poo Goons Say Ad Nauseum bin. Just part of the SA forums discourse, it's never going to change.
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Mar 17, 2024 10:31
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Can't park here is still great when someone has the presence of mind to say it to someone who's juts crashed their car.
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Mar 17, 2024 10:42
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Jedit posted:I didn't watch Transformers: Beast Wars, but if they didn't have the budget for the scene with the Giraffobots they should have just cut it from the script. Sidenote, but if you're at all interested you should check out Beast Wars cause it's Real Good. Season one's a bit goofier than seasons 2&3, but it's worth sticking through it. Neddy Seagoon has a new favorite as of 11:33 on Mar 17, 2024 |
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Mar 17, 2024 11:20
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youknowthatoneguy posted:Trust me, it's not nearly as bad as when there would be four loving pages of people making puns, over, and over, and OVER. That trend went on for far too long. So you're saying it was punishment enough?
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Mar 17, 2024 12:17
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gay picnic defence posted:I've caught plenty of sharks, it depends on the species but they usually feel a bit like a very fine sandpaper. Swell sharks and port jacksons are rougher. They're probably not sharks then, because sharks are unbelievably smooth
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Mar 17, 2024 12:51
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Someone should go and pet a crocodile to see if they are smooth.
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Mar 17, 2024 13:00
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ilmucche posted:can't park there, sharks are smooth etc Turns out the whole thing is a matter of perspective. Do you see an old woman or a young woman looking away? 
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Mar 17, 2024 13:14
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Hyperlynx posted:Oh, right, like Yes, exactly like that, Ski-bap ba-dap can't park there mate
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Mar 17, 2024 13:29
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Atticus_1354 posted:Another great example of an overblown danger. Venomous snakes aren't a big threat unless you're a male in your late teens-early twenties (bonus points if you're drunk). Turns out snakes don't really bite unless you repeatedly antagonize them and/or pick them up. this is some very interesting dumbass logic, thanks for the insight into the mind of a dumbass
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Mar 17, 2024 13:41
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Nenonen posted:Someone should go and pet a crocodile to see if they are smooth. I used to work with crocodiles, and they all have a "scritch" spot where you can scratch them and they really enjoy it and won't bite. Even wild ones. You just have to find it with trial and error.
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Mar 17, 2024 13:59
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luchadornado posted:I used to work with crocodiles, and they all have a "scritch" spot where you can scratch them and they really enjoy it and won't bite. Even wild ones. You just have to find it with trial and error. Well you've got two, maybe as many as ten, tries to find it... 
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Mar 17, 2024 14:08
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Just gotta rubber band their snout shut and you have infinite tries
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Mar 17, 2024 14:10
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No drag? Guess that makes sense because the wigs would get all wet.
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Mar 17, 2024 14:17
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Atticus_1354 posted:Another great example of an overblown danger. Venomous snakes aren't a big threat unless you're a male in your late teens-early twenties (bonus points if you're drunk). Turns out snakes don't really bite unless you repeatedly antagonize them and/or pick them up. This was written by a venomous snake.
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Mar 17, 2024 15:23
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steinrokkan posted:Just gotta rubber band their snout shut and you have infinite tries That actually doesn't work in practice, since locating their scritch spot is only possible with them being allowed to bite you when you touch them anywhere else
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Mar 17, 2024 15:28
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COP PIT COP
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Mar 17, 2024 15:54
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Air Skwirl posted:If he gets shot anywhere not covered by the vest it's just a flesh wound, he just has a lot more flesh to wound. This is something I find somewhat unsettling in its raw pragmatism. A ballistic plate doesn't really cover that much of your body, but that's all it needs to cover. A bullet wound a few inches away - sure, you might be making GBS threads in a bag for the rest of your life but you've got a much better chance of surviving. Wearing them properly is another thing - a lot of people have them set too low on their chest. I'm just learning now that there are different sizes, but apparently all you need to measure is the distance from nipple to nipple.
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Mar 17, 2024 16:04
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credburn posted:I don't get why you goons like referencing that one joke. Like 40% of this thread is just repeating that joke. Where did it come from? you wont care (edit: whoops thought this was the musk thread; that's another injoke and not snark fyi)
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Mar 17, 2024 16:04
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Mister Speaker posted:This is something I find somewhat unsettling in its raw pragmatism. A ballistic plate doesn't really cover that much of your body, but that's all it needs to cover. A bullet wound a few inches away - sure, you might be making GBS threads in a bag for the rest of your life but you've got a much better chance of surviving. Wearing them properly is another thing - a lot of people have them set too low on their chest. I'm just learning now that there are different sizes, but apparently all you need to measure is the distance from nipple to nipple. Well. From the front anyway. From the side, Being slim is a bit more helpful than that crowd wants to accept
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Mar 17, 2024 16:16
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Borscht posted:Turns out the whole thing is a matter of perspective. Do you see an old woman or a young woman looking away? They are called denticles because they are modified teeth, btw. That's right, sharks have skin covered in teeny teeth.
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Mar 17, 2024 16:18
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mycatscrimes posted:They are called denticles because they are modified teeth, btw. that's just unhygienic
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Mar 17, 2024 16:26
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Atticus_1354 posted:The general population just don't have a strong grasp on the habits of most animals. 
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Mar 17, 2024 16:34
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Scratch Monkey posted:COP PIT COP Two pigs, one PIT?
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Mar 17, 2024 17:03
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Trabant posted:Two pigs, one PIT?
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Mar 17, 2024 17:12
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credburn posted:I don't get why you goons like referencing that one joke. Like 40% of this thread is just repeating that joke. Where did it come from? If you want to understand the origins of the joke, you first must realize that in the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will. Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect. However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps. Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection. All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever. Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed. Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable. Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average. Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule. Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed. The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.
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Mar 17, 2024 17:37
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So that's where it comes from
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Mar 17, 2024 18:04
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Did that come from that stupid Kickstarter scam? The space game? That must be ten years ago now
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Mar 17, 2024 18:07
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Bored posted:And there are more videos of coyotes playing with golf balls. They just really like toys. My local golf course has a course rule that you get a free drop if a fox steals your golf ball. It's happened to me a few times. They also had a bunker roped off because a fox made it their den.
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Mar 17, 2024 18:08
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I can finally understand the joke.
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Mar 17, 2024 18:24
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Pro golf also has a rule where if the ball is moved by forces beyond anyone’s control, it may be replaced where it was or your best approximation thereof I learned this after watching a video of an iguana trying to eat a golf ball during a tournament
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Mar 17, 2024 18:51
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LookieLoo posted:Did that come from that stupid Kickstarter scam? The space game? I just figured it was a parody of the Putin/Tucker Carlson interview.
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Mar 17, 2024 18:56
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haveblue posted:Pro golf also has a rule where if the ball is moved by forces beyond anyone’s control, it may be replaced where it was or your best approximation thereof I want to see this video. During the Blitz in the UK golf courses had rules about getting an extra try if your stroke was interrupted by a bombing.
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Mar 17, 2024 18:58
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Air Skwirl posted:getting an extra try if your stroke was interrupted by a bombing. ...
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Mar 17, 2024 19:07
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https://i.imgur.com/QX52HCh.mp4
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Mar 17, 2024 19:07
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Air Skwirl posted:I want to see this video. I think it was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7ICfniKRKo
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Mar 17, 2024 20:07
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That's a blast from the horrible past.
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