quote:

I (42M) have decided to leave my (34M) partner after years of being made fun for my interest/hobby. I really enjoy the show Night Court, which is a sitcom from the 80s and 90s that ran for nine seasons (it was recently subreddit of the day!!!) The show centers around the staff of a criminal court that runs during the third shift, and is hilarious. I watch the show every night before bed. I have some memorabilia and am a member of several fan communities. My partner has always made fun of me for this (which I don’t like) but I usually shrug it off. It was my birthday recently and I wanted to have a Night-Court themed party in our home, with a planned “mock trial” that I wrote dialogue for. I did ALL the work for the party and did not ask my partner for help at all. It took me a lot of time and effort and I was really excited to have friends over for this. We did have alcohol at the party and my partner got pretty intoxicated. He doesn’t drink often but when he does he gets out of control and we often end up arguing. Well, in the middle of the party my partner starts ripping down decorations, and going off about my “stupid, pointless, obscure fetish for a dumb boomer sitcom.” He was being absolutely awful and going back and forth between insults and breaking things/ruining party items while my friends and I tried to get him to stop. We eventually got him out of the house and a friend let him crash at his house which was nearby. The next morning my partner wakes up and claimed he didn’t remember ANYTHING. I don’t believe him and maybe the party was the last straw but I feel done with him. I haven’t let him back in our home, I don’t want to talk to him, and I don’t want to see him again. Most of our mutual friends and family think I’m being unreasonable but I disagree. AITAH?

Edit: thank you to everyone for the support and also hi fellow Night Court fans! Seeing all these responses was very validating and made me realize there’s more problems in our relationship than just this, so I’m definitely done. I’m doing a party re-do WITHOUT HIM Bonus: apparently there’s a Night Court remake I had no clue about? Holy crap.

artsy fartsy posted:

AITAH for leaving my partner because he mocks my interest and I couldn’t take it anymore?

Vim Fuego posted:

I'm tickled by tbe reality that there are legal adults out there who are younger than their parents SA forum account

quote:

I (26f) have a 6 year old son. Three weeks back it was he's birthday I throu a little party for him. This is how it all started 3 months before the party I sent out invitations for the party all of the invited people were family each person got two invitations one for the child and the second one for the parents the reason for making two separate invitations was most of the time during birthday parties my sister's kids would cause a seen for not getting presents even though it's not they're party. So I came up with this idea that on the kids invitations it's just an ordinary invitations but not parents invitations there was a strict demand to bring a present that will be placed along side my son's present and will be given to your child when my son open he's present to avoid drama and kids causing tantrums. I believed it will a good solution fast forward to the day of the party, my older sister has 3 kids and she came with four presents my brother has two kids he came with three presents, my SILs came with they're kids present then came my sister empty handed with her two children. I was shocked and worried 😫. The party went on great singing cake cutting party games everything was perfect until the last moment in our family during a birthday party the one we're celebrating they're would open they're present during the party that's where my solution comes in. My son started handing out the presents to the respective owners and my sister's were left without presents to open.

I felt angry at my sister while she knew that her kids always cause a seen during this kinds of events. See looked at me with red eyes as she walked towards me, she pulled aside and asked why her kids didn't receive presents I politely told her because you didn't bring them presents She said I promised to give her kids presents in the invitations and her kids a entitled to those gifts. I replied by I see where you kids get the attitude of entitlement you came in empty handed you will leave empty handed AITA

quote:

Your invitated to my son's name party As you know the tradition of our family you asked to bring a present for your child.

I didn't ask the guest to buy presents for my child but for they're children and I still specify to buy this number of present for they're children. Some came with only present for they're children I didn't have a problem with that. And this was a family party no outside people were invited

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Thanks for the headache.

Bonster posted:

Hey, could someone tell me what this post says, because I'm trying to read it and my eyes are just sliiiiiiding right off.

AITA FOR REFUSING TO GIVE MY SISTER CHILDREN GIFTS?

Something about too many presents or too few or something?

Clarifying comment?

Maybe?

quote:

My wife and I got married about a year ago and she’s been staying home since. She hated her job and was extremely unhappy, so I didn’t mind her quitting because it meant she would be happier. We can comfortably live on just my income so its okay.

The issue is that my wife brags about it to anyone that will listen. She’s made a tiktok account where she posts about her life. It was wholesome and cute at first, but now it’s only about how she married a man who could support her, how she doesn’t have to go to work unlike other women, how she couldn’t imagine working again and that other women are missing out etc.

She even does it to her sisters and friends in real life. Anytime she’s on the phone, I keep hearing her talk about how she’s so glad she doesn’t have to work like friend/sister on the phone and that staying at home and spending money is her calling. She doesn’t even spend that much but to her friends and family, she makes it sound like all she does is shop and buy extravagant things.

We had dinner with her sisters last night. One of her sisters mentioned that she has a busy day tomorrow (as in today) with work and everything and as a joke my wife said “oh let me check my calendar so see what I have on my agenda. Oh, shop… that’s it” and she laughed. Her sister rolled her eyes and no one really laughed. I don’t think she realised how awkward things got though because she just started talking about plates and stuff. I was cringing at the situation mostly because that isn’t even her life. We’re not rich enough that she can constantly shop, so it’s kind of weird to me that she pretends like we have so much money when we don’t.

In reality, my wife cooks a lot. She spends her days cooking/baking, taking walks, exercising and reading books. She loves all of these things and I can tell that she’s genuinely happy with how she lives. I want to ask her why she feels the need to lie or brag about her lifestyle. I have no clue how to even bring this up or if I even should. She seems like she’s really enjoying this entire thing and it isn’t hurting anyone so maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but I’m worried her sisters and friends might be getting annoyed with her. And honestly, I don’t love hearing all that either. Would it be weird of me to bring it up?

quote:

I (26f) have a 6 year old son. In the past, my sister's kids caused a scene when they didn't get presents at other kids' parties. So I came up with this idea to send two invitations per family: one to the child, and one to the parent instructing them to bring a present for my child and a present for their child. I believed it was a good solution to avoid drama and kids causing tantrums.

On the day, my older sister, SIL, and brother complied and brought presents for their own children. My younger sister brought nothing for her two children. The party was perfect until my son started handing out the presents to each kid and my younger sister's kids were now the *only* children with no presents to open.

I was angry with my sister, because obviously. She was angry with me because she either misread or pretended to misread the invitation and thought I would be providing gifts for her kids as well. I called her entitled.

Anyway we're both giant assholes. Her for not managing her kids or adhering to the scheme I concocted to work around her. Me for not being more direct prior to the party and for allowing the time bomb to explode, making my son's birthday sad and awkward. Both my sister and I could stand to work on our communication skills.

Thanks Reddit!

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

Edited

Anyway, I'm awash in birthday parties for my six year old this month and almost all of them have been "no presents" with the exception of one little girl who was very insistent that no, she wanted all the presents and quite frankly I respect her more for it.

quote:

I (41M) have been married to my wife (36F) for over 4 years now. She has 2 kids boy (16) and a girl (15) from a previous relationship. We live in a house that is hers I moved in right after our marriage. Things were good initially but the last year I have been feeling misplaced and honestly exhausted by the arrangement that we have.

Now I knew she was a package deal when I married her but I didn't realize the amount of time that was required for me to put in. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed my wife barks orders at me, it can be anything from garden work, working on the house, going shopping, picking up her kids from their extracurriculars, tutoring them which is a whole another can of worms, its her moms birthday, it just never ends. I feel like I never have any time for myself, I never get to hangout with my friends anymore or do the things that I'm actually interested in.

One of the things that is demanded from me is spending time with her kids tutoring them in math and physics which was been extremely frustrating as I don't see them pursuing STEM related career but my wife has convinced them that they should become "research scientists". I'm also required to tutor them in chemistry even though last time I studied the subject was in high school over 20 years ago and I don't remember much which requires me to read the textbook, learn the material and then spoon feed them the information. This takes up at least 6-8 hours of my time a week and when they came back with a C on their test its automatically my fault cause I didn't teach them well enough. They also attend tennis and piano lessons and I am often required to drive them to and from.

I also have no privacy in my own home, there are always people there, either her friends or her sisters she has 3 of them, or the kids brought their friends over, I feel like the house basically has revolving doors when anyone can come and go as they please not this might be my own personal problem as I am an introvert I prefer my own space without any outsiders in it.

The catalyst occurred about last month when I was required to go to IKEA get a desk assemble it myself while she spent 6hours making spaghetti for dinner while talking on the phone the entire time, and when we went to bed she told me to tutor her oldest in math. As I was laying in bed I had this awakening of why am I putting up with this? I use to spend time with my friends I use to sit home and play videogames all day and eat pizza, I use to go on trips, why am I in a situation that doesn't benefit me? I realized I am basically a supporting cast member in my own life.

Last week I sat her down and we had a mature conversation of me wanting a divorce. To my surprise she didn't scream or yell and she tried convincing me to stay and after back and fourth I told her I was going to give it time but in the mean time I have moved out and staying with my parents. I do love her, she is basically the woman of my dreams she has a lot of great qualities but I just can't do it anymore. When I finally told her on the phone that my decision is final and that I would be filing for divorce she called me selfish and immature, and told me that I had wasted her time by proposing to her. I honestly don't know if I'm doing the right decision now, when we are alone together things are great but its the everything else that just exhausts me to the point that I have to leave. AITAH?

EDIT: As Someone suggested I should do an Update in the OP and answer FAQ so here it is.

Do you work?

Yes I work, I should have put this in the OP to begin. I have a masters in mathematics (mathstat) and I work as a statistician, which is why my wife thought it would be a good idea to tutor the kids, I have no problems tutoring the kids in maths and physics but my chemistry is a bit rusty and requires more work from me.

Does she work?

Yes she works full time she is a dentist. So she is also tired and exhausted when she comes home from work.

Why didn't you set boundaries?

The issue isn't setting boundaries, there is work/chores that need to be done around the house and kids and we are both tired from work and somebody has to do it and I don't think its fair for my wife to do everything so I chip in. The issue I have is that a lot of it is not streamlined properly, I suggested cutting out tennis and piano but she refuses to do that, I also suggested that we move from this house that requires a lot of work and move in to a big apartment again she has refused to do so. She knows how I feel about tutoring the kids and dealing with an old house that requires a lot of maintenance.

Have you tried marriage counseling?

No and I don't think it will solve anything, the issue for me is not carving more time for myself or doing less chores the issue is that I do not want to do any chores around the house, I do not want to even spend 5min with her kids. I feel absolutely suffocated in that household and I feel I am becoming more aggressive staying there.

"Why does your English sucks?"

English is my third language we don't live in the US we live in Europe in an non English speaking country. There is no alimony here, no child support payments and when we divorce we keep what we had before the marriage and split whatever we bought together after the marriage.

What redeeming qualities does your wife have?

So we have "date night" a few nights a week and when we are alone together things are great, she is very loving, attentive, loyal, smart and overall a great woman, I am unfortunately not able to articulate what makes her amazing to me, but the way she makes me feel is something I have never had before. For people saying these things are the bare minimum have not dated in the past 10 years probably.

Why don't you hire a tutor?

We did at their school but they failed to show up half the time. These kids not only need a lot of tutoring but they also need to be pushed to study as they will not do it on their own.

Halloween Jack posted:

What if people just raise their kids with the understanding that you get presents on your birthday and not at every party you attend? Yes, some kids may get upset, but maybe those kids' parents should actually parent them?

quote:

My English isn't the best so if this isn't written greatly.

so, for ten years me F28 and my daughter F10 have been alone, it was us against the world. My parents are non-existent to me anymore so i had no help raising her.

I've been in a few bad relationships before she was born so i decided to stay single until she was 18 to keep her safe from the bad people, I always used to surround myself with.

my daughter Olivia's dad left when she was born because we were both very young, but he was still a horrible person before, which makes me glad he did leave.

My plan didn't quite work out because I met someone 3 months ago M36 his name is Toby. He seemed a great guy but at the time of meeting him, in the first few weeks, I almost never saw him. I put my daughter as my priority, and it was still like that except I saw him a bit more.

He has 2 kids and I met them pretty quickly because I met him when he had his kids with him.

I told him about my daughter casually on a date and he said that he would love to meet her sometime.

Instincts kicked in and I said no at first then last week I finally said he could, I trusted him enough to take her to a stall in the place that we went while I sat a few meters away watching them.

Olivia loved him and he came over every Saturday to see us.

We had an argument last night which ended in him leaving my house and saying he isn't coming back.

He told me that I should go back to him when I've grown up also called me something bad in front of Liv and made her cry because he was yelling.

This because I told him I didn't trust him enough to take Olivia out with him and his kids.

He said I'm too protective of her and I "need to loosen up".

I asked for my friend's opinion, and they said that they agree with him but the way he said it could have been better.

One of my friends said I'm too much and no wonder he left.

AITA for this?

quote:

So, whilst frolicking somewhere local and doing my daily reddit message check, i noticed at the top of my screen was a post from this sub that seemed to fit my situation, so of course it sparked my interest.

I read the whole thing and figured it could only be a coincidence and pure irony me seeing said post, so I've made a throwaway to describe my side of things.

I met Harriet at a place local to where she lives, I'm not sure on the name of it but inside it had stalls and places to buy things. at the time it had just been Christmas so there were still decorations out and it was a great place to take children basically. She worked on one of the stalls there so i went over to her and we got to talking, she seemed very happy to be around me and I've been told by many people in my life that i give off a positive energy. Only now i know what i initially thought isn't true with Harriet.

We went on a date after a while of talking over text and it went great on my side. She told me all about her issues with past relationships and how I'm her first in ten years. I understood how she didn't want me to meet her daughter for a good while and i agreed and said i wouldn't mind meeting her at her own pace, i never pursued that conversation afterwards and i wasn't desperate to meet her either.

On our next meetup she brought her daughter without my knowledge and i had my kids too because she had already met them, and their mother couldn't take them, leaving me no choice but to bring them along. Also, i didn't want to cancel on Harriet because of how excited i was to see her and she expressed the same feelings back.

I had a good time with her, and Olivia played with my kids in a small play area across from us where we could see them, some other kids were there too, and they all made friends with each other while me and Harriet talked about why she brought Olivia with her.

She told me it was because she had gained a tiny bit of trust in me and brought her along with the intention of her getting to know my kids a bit better. I said that it was fine though a tiny bit confused having been told she didn't want me to meet her for a good six months.

The other night she invited me over to her house at 3 in the morning and asked me to stay the night because she really needed somebody with her apparently.

Harriet brought up how she needs a break and just wants it to be her on her own somewhere. I offered to take Olivia somewhere one day with my children so she could have her break and she instantly got up and yelled at me, called me all sorts of names, so i of course threw some back at her. though trying to stay as calm as possible.

Though Olivia had heard this and come out of her room. Everything in Harriets post happened and i left.

Except i never yelled so it was her who made Olivia cry not me.

that's the whole truth.

AITA?

quote:

I (M27) live with my family, including my brother Theo (M23), my sister Cate (F19), and my brother Eddie (M7). We recently had a road trip vacation with my parents- totaled about 15 hours of driving. One of our road trip traditions is to stop at a Chick Fil A as we leave and order a tray of 40 Chicken Minis. If you haven’t had them they’re like biscuits with a chicken nugget inside drizzled with honey. Highly recommend.

Anyway. We did this as per usual and set out. We each had 2 or 3 Chicken Minis but then everybody settled in and stopped eating. The Chicken Minis were sitting right next to me on the seat, so I ate a few more. I asked multiple times if anybody wanted any, but everybody said no. I did this multiple times over the course of the next two hours, and every time everybody said no. So, I considered them to be fair game. I began snacking on them while I watched a movie. (I continued asking if anybody wanted any as we drove) Nobody stopped me or called me out on it or anything.

Before I knew it the movie was done and the Chicken Minis were mostly gone (6 left). When we stopped to rest and stretch our legs, Theo asked for a Chicken Mini so I passed him the tray and he literally blew up. He asked what happened to the rest of them and my dad came and looked. They both asked me if I ate all the Chicken Minus and I said no, because there were still 6 left which meant 1 more for each of us. They both stared at me and Theo called me a f%&ing fat$%# and my dad didn’t even react. I tried to defend myself and explain that I asked SEVERAL TIMES whether anybody else wanted one and they all said no EACH TIME.

This got a rise out of my dad and my mom and they both said they were planning on eating as we drove. How was I supposed to know that when all they would say is “no thanks” when I offered them some? I argued my case but they just piled into the car and so I just went in with them. My dad took the tray and handed each of the family a Chicken Mini except me, and he gave mine to my mom. I was going to protest to this but Cate started eating hers and exaggerating going “mmmm this is so good I’m so glad we got 40 so we can each have plenty” and stuff like that. Pretty soon my dad told her to stop but by that point my feelings were shot to hell. Everybody literally ignored me for the rest of the drive.

We got to the hotel not that long ago and everybody is tense and still mad at me. I still feel like I was in the right since a) I ASKED MULTIPLE TIMES and b) they’re just being petty now by not giving my last one to my mom and then giving me the cold shoulder for the rest of the drive. AITA here?

quote:

Fake names to make things easier:
My ex: Derek
Ex’s AP: Ashley
AP’s ex: Jake

Going back to the earliest piece of drama (Most of what I’m recounting is from the perspective of Jake as I was not directly involved in this story. I blocked Derek and communicated through my lawyer. Nothing crazy happened when he had to come to the house), in October, Derek had a meeting with his lawyer. We’re guessing his lawyer had some bad news for him or maybe finally told him that he was screwed. Whatever it was, it caused him to have a mental breakdown where he basically confessed everything to Ashley and told her that he was “going to lose everything”. It took her another day to show up at Jake’s house apologizing and wanting to make things work. He didn’t take her up on that and at this point they are also divorced. She claimed that Derek manipulated her, but they are now back together so I guess she hasn’t had enough yet. I don’t know if she knows about the vasectomy as I haven’t had contact with her, Jake hasn’t told her, and she didn’t say anything about that to Jake when she ran back to him. She could know, but I don’t know one way or another. That’s her problem now. And by “that”, I mean the whole man.

Derek cried in court multiple times and screamed at his lawyer once. He genuinely didn’t look okay, and I do hope he figures things out for himself.

Our prenup held up and nothing was deemed “unconscionable”. I came out with the house, my car, and all of my separate property. I had to pay him a small lump sum alimony payment.

quote:

I had a divorce/retirement party at MY house after everything was finalized. All mutual friends stopped being friends with him after I told them what happened. He still has other friends, and they don't seem to care about the situation so who knows what he told them. His mom and I are still friends; she came to the party.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Party Sub Guy goes on a road trip:

AITA for eating Chicken Minis?

I'm sorry, Jon

I was so hungry

Captain Hygiene posted:

Party Sub Guy goes on a road trip:

AITA for eating Chicken Minis?

biscuits with a chicken nugget inside drizzled with honey

killerwhat posted:

quote:

Okay. I am in a tough situation right now. My wife had a 6 months affair in the seventh year of our marriage and got caught. It was a shocking and devastating thing obviously. She offered me one hall pass for each month of her affair. It took years of marriage counseling to get back where we were previously. I used the hall passes my wife gave me at the beginning of the reconciliation. I slept 3 times each with two different women without my wife knowing. When she gave me the passes, she put several rules:

She should not know the use of hall pass unless she asks

I should answer her questions honestly and in detail if she asks

Protection is a must

No emotional connection

I obeyed all these rules and I am going to be very honest here. It helped me subside the resentment I had towards her. That is just how "getting even" feels I guess. Not that it's a great thing but it's a fact. It has been five years since everything and we were doing great.

Last week she decided to ask me about hall passes out of nowhere. I was honest with her as she asked. I answered every question she asked. Maybe I shouldn't have been honest thinking now. She does not even look me in the eyes now and in a depressive state. I know this calls for another marriage counseling for us and maybe individual counseling, too. I did not even remember the hall passes and women before she asked but I feel like poo poo now.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Party Sub Guy goes on a road trip:

AITA for eating Chicken Minis?

I'm sorry, Jon

I was so hungry

FMguru posted:

"Hall Pass" is such a stupid idea. It never, ever, ever leads anywhere good in any of these stories.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Party Sub Guy goes on a road trip:

AITA for eating Chicken Minis?

I'm sorry, Jon

I was so hungry

Crazy Joe Wilson posted:

Yep, you either work through the broken trust and forgive, or separate if you can't. Two wrongs, no rights, etc. etc.,...

Elviscat posted:

Honestly, it would be pretty easy to snack on 20 chicken nuggets in bread over the course of a few hours.

But maybe one should buy their own chickie num nums if they're 27.

FMguru posted:

"Hall Pass" is such a stupid idea. It never, ever, ever leads anywhere good in any of these stories.

quote:

Hello, I’m sure it’s obvious because of the naming convention that I am using a throwaway account. There is a lot of backstory to this that I probably won’t have room to include, but the very basics are that I am 26, my brother and his wife are 38 and we had not spoken in almost 6 years up until last summer.

Basically, I wanted to meet my niece and nephew who I had only seen his babies, so I swallowed a lot of my pride, and last summer tried to get along with him. We are just getting to the point where I was able to babysit and see my niece and nephew unsupervised. My brother and his wife went out of town for a week and I stayed with niece and nephew at their house and I have noticed for a long time that a tree in their front yard would be perfect for a treehouse.

I wanted to go all out, so I spared no expense, bought plans online even had help from a contractor friend and built the most perfect treehouse that we could with my budget and the time that we had. The kids loved it.

When I say that all hell broke loose that’s an Understatement When my sister-in-law got home, She was furious with me and rear end in a top hat would be the kindest of word she had for me. She says I put them in danger with liability because it’s in the front yard, that I ensured they will have a fight with their HOA and she thinks it just makes their house look ugly. My brother is furious with me because he says I put them in a spot where the kids love the treehouse and they will look like bad guys if they tear it down, but they really have no choice to tear it down.

I am having a very hard time seeing their point which is why I’m here. I bought and built a treehouse for two kids that I love and I’m having a hard time seeing the problem with that.

Captain Hygiene posted:

That's still a lot. I looked them up because I'd never heard of them, and each 4-piece looks like the equivalent of a breakfast sandwich. So this guy was basically chomping his way through 5-6 meals' worth of food there.

axolotl farmer posted:

I just listened to the Behind the Bastards pod series on Steve Jobs. Jobs read a 19th century quack book about how get rid of mucus in your diet to purify your body and mind. This made young Jobs belive that he was pure, and didn't need to wash himself anymore. Everyone who dared told him he stank, and he was thrown out of a couple of his own meetings for showing up stinking and barefoot. He would also soak his feet in the toilet at work.

Prism posted:

I looked them up because I wasn't familiar and these aren't, like, extra small, either. A 40-count would be 3640 calories. I don't even know how they ordered a tray of 40 because the biggest size Chick-fil-A puts on their website is 10.

Halloween Jack posted:

What if people just raise their kids with the understanding that you get presents on your birthday and not at every party you attend? Yes, some kids may get upset, but maybe those kids' parents should actually parent them?

John Wick of Dogs posted:

It is easy to gently caress up a plate of chicken nuggets without thinking about what you're eating because individually they're so small