Post itt every time you LOL that Donald Trump is a 34x convicted felon

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post itt every time you LOL that Donald Trump is a 34x convicted felon

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(Thread IKs: weg, Toxic Mental)

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

BrigadierSensible posted:

If I am to believe Leonard Cohen, (and I have no reason not to), then I can be assured that Jesus was a sailor, when he walked upon the water.

Checkmate Athetits.

So when I walk upon the pavement, am I a lorry driver????

# ? Mar 24, 2024 12:46

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 09:44

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr

lol

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:01

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

BrigadierSensible posted:

If I am to believe Leonard Cohen, (and I have no reason not to), then I can be assured that Jesus was a sailor, when he walked upon the water.

Checkmate Athetits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCFkjfDocLo

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:05

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

IshmaelZarkov posted:

It was twenty odd years ago, and I've long forgotten the title. In a way I kinda don't want to look it up in case it was just a dream I had. I want it to be real so badly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEWxrDkNAU8

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:09

BigglesSWE: Dec 2, 2014; How 'bout them hawks news huh!

https://twitter.com/ronfilipkowski/status/1771873681473409130?s=46&t=G1x8XWIwrNxUQoXItlkh2w

You have a drug addiction centre? You? Mike Lindell? :allears:

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:17

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

BigglesSWE posted:

https://twitter.com/ronfilipkowski/status/1771873681473409130?s=46&t=G1x8XWIwrNxUQoXItlkh2w

You have a drug addiction centre? You? Mike Lindell?

Clients are expected to hand over any drugs they have. Personally to Mike.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:19

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Beefed Owl posted:

They didn't even say that he was a good carpenter imagine getting your flooring hosed up by the Messiah

Pretty sure he could�ve just done a sneaky miracle to fix it. If anything he should�ve been a suspiciously good carpenter. :ninja:

�Excuse me, Mr Christ, sir, but I�m going to have to ask for a refund. That door you fitted just doesn�t close properly.�
�Um, are you quite sure? [snaps fingers] Just give it another try.�
�Oh wow, it�s perfect! I�m very sorry, I must have been mistaken.�

Stoatbringer fucked around with this message at 13:22 on Mar 24, 2024

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:19

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

kazil posted:

Clients are expected to hand over any drugs they have. Personally to Mike.

To be fair it doesn't say it exists to /cure/ addiction.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:21

DemihumanResources: Apr 16, 2019; Just let me frob some dang bits already

BigglesSWE posted:

https://twitter.com/ronfilipkowski/status/1771873681473409130?s=46&t=G1x8XWIwrNxUQoXItlkh2w

You have a drug addiction centre? You? Mike Lindell?

replace "drug addiction center" with "trap house", "counseling" with "incoherent ranting", and "stressed out about the border" with "looking for racist affirmation" and it makes more sense

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:30

bad_fmr: Nov 28, 2007

Jesus was such a good carpenter that he even insulated his stairs.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:31

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

BigglesSWE posted:

https://twitter.com/ronfilipkowski/status/1771873681473409130?s=46&t=G1x8XWIwrNxUQoXItlkh2w

You have a drug addiction centre? You? Mike Lindell?

�Honey, I need to go to drug counselling.�
�Oh no, it�s not the cocaine again, is it?�
�Worse. Much worse. I�m stressed about the southern border crisis.�
�Oh poo poo! I�ll call the Lindell Clinic emergency line. Here, hug this pillow until they arrive.�

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:32

Almost Smart: Sep 14, 2001; so your telling me you wasn't drunk or fucked up in anyway. when you had sex with me and that monkey

BigglesSWE posted:

https://twitter.com/ronfilipkowski/status/1771873681473409130?s=46&t=G1x8XWIwrNxUQoXItlkh2w

You have a drug addiction centre? You? Mike Lindell?

I can counsel these people too, and I�ll give them much better advice (and for free!):

Stop watching Fox News.

I can guarantee you will be far happier and more well-adjusted afterwards. You might even be able to salvage your relationship with your estranged children and grandchildren.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:35

Regalingualius: Jan 7, 2012; We gazed into the eyes of madness... And all we found was horny.

Almost Smart posted:

I can counsel these people too, and I�ll give them much better advice (and for free!):

Stop watching Fox News.

I can guarantee you will be far happier and more well-adjusted afterwards. You might even be able to salvage your relationship with your estranged children and grandchildren.

They�re watching OAN

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:42

DemihumanResources: Apr 16, 2019; Just let me frob some dang bits already

There is some timeline where:

Letitia James seizes his jet

Jet goes to auction and is bought by a terrorist front

Terrorists fly fully branded jet into trump tower

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:43

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

Regalingualius posted:

They�re watching OAN

Fox News went woke

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:43

TenTonHammer: Oct 3, 2003; Davidian

kazil posted:

Fox News went woke

But when do they "go broke"?

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:44

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Snorting massive mounds of coke because I fear MS-13 is crossing the border with illegal drugs

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:45

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

Go right for the jugular

Seize Mar-a-lardo

Make him have a loving heart attack from non-stop tweeting rage

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:47

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Aug 15, 2007; Smoke 'em if you gottem!; Dinosaur Gum

*yawn* Morning, thread.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:48

JeffLeonard: Apr 18, 2003; TV Violence

Almost Smart posted:

Stop watching Fox News.

loving Agreed!

We went out to dinner with friends to a really small, sorta dive-ish italian joint this weekend. They had Newsmax running on 2 TVs and I was absolutely blown away at the level of mind control bullshit that I saw. I don't have cable TV, so this was my first exposure to this poo poo outside of this thread.

:wtf:

It's just absolute insanity.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 13:50

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

DemihumanResources posted:

There is some timeline where:

Letitia James seizes his jet

Jet goes to auction and is bought by a terrorist front

Terrorists fly fully branded jet into trump tower

Depends. Russian terrorists for maximum irony or ISIS?

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:02

Lamech: Nov 20, 2001; Soiled Meat

move RNC headquarters to Mar-a-lardo

Dems are trying to take the entire RNC!!!!

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:03

DemihumanResources: Apr 16, 2019; Just let me frob some dang bits already

notwithoutmyanus posted:

Depends. Russian terrorists for maximum irony or ISIS?

depends on the quantum branch? It could be a rogue girl scout troop

Has there been any speculation on how many of his properties would need to be sold? Everything's so leveraged I assume he just has some partial equity he'd get to claim? If they go for firesale prices and don't get a profit what happens?

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:06

HappyHippo: Nov 19, 2003; Do you have an Air Miles Card?

Samovar posted:

That's really interesting.

When I was younger, I know I was ambivalent to the idea of Christ being an actual, historical person because of all the associated supernatural stories about him, right up until it was pointed out that one of the ways we can be certain Christ was real is because one of the stories about him in the Bible is almost certainly false - namely the reasons given for Mary and Joseph to be in Bethlehem for his birth. There would have been no legal impetus for them to have to be there for registration of any form of census. BUT when one notes that the old Jewish legend about the messiah states that he was supposed to be born in Bethlehem, it makes more sense that it was a piece of propaganda to excuse the fact that Jesus actually just came from Nazareth in the first place.

You might find this book interesting: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus:_Apocalyptic_Prophet_of_the_New_Millennium

It's a summary of the study of "historical Jesus," which tries to tease out what Jesus actually said and did vs what's been attributed to him after the fact. It's basically full of stuff like you just described. The short summary is that Jesus was likely a apocalyptic prophet who thought the world was about to end imminently with God returning to smite the wicked, which was not an uncommon belief in 1st century Palestine.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:07

Renreeja: Oct 11, 2007

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Have you ever heard of a cult leader was not some kind of narcissist con-man/sex-pest that abused their followers?

especially after meeting a couple cult leader wannabe sexpests irl this always comes to mind thinking about Christianity. If any creep cultleader got rolled into a big religion that grew through the ages theyd be written as a benevolent hero. Lol the book about L ron's life comes to mind

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:09

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

BigglesSWE posted:

https://twitter.com/ronfilipkowski/status/1771873681473409130?s=46&t=G1x8XWIwrNxUQoXItlkh2w

You have a drug addiction centre? You? Mike Lindell?

It's funny because treatment centers for people obsessed with random news cycle BS is actually a good idea. Problem is, his treatment is probably that insisting it's a real problem and that president Trump will napalm the columns of illegal immigrants streaming over the border when he wins all 50 states in November, they just need to hold on until the final victory.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:21

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

Neon Noodle posted:

The gospel of Mark is very much like this, the disciples in that one are pretty much idiots and JC is speaking to the reader

i seem to recall another ancient greek dude saying he chose animal stories because the lcd avg. person is dumb as gently caress.

oh also animal stories and the lesson being outright stated.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:22

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003; LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL (づ￣ �￣)づ♥(�∀�●)

Lol Donald Trump doesn't have any money

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:24

Lamech: Nov 20, 2001; Soiled Meat

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:27

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; Derpmph trial star reporter!

Is there open carry allowed at the meetings for people scared of everything they see on right wing media?

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:28

zone: Dec 6, 2016

kazil posted:

Is there open carry allowed at the meetings for people scared of everything they see on right wing media?

They banned open carrying at every event Trpum attended. So much for are freedumbs.

# ? Mar 24, 2024 14:31

Gaukler: Oct 9, 2012

SRQ posted:

https://thehill.com/homenews/campai...k&ICID=ref_fark

hahah yes, yessss

please god I hope all of the DNC messaging this time is just these two things:
We actually do stuff, they don't.
Don is a broke moron that's pissed away more money than any of us will ever see, and literally exists as a net negative financially.