r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

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Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

Then you can walk back to the kitchen for the loving milk instead of serving 3 normal people.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:43

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:30

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Milk is a pro order at a bar, preferably with some Kahlua and Vodka.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:46

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

Milk is halfway to a cocktail anyway, so it's a mocktail, which people have all the time in bars, ipso factso ergo cognito sum of all fears.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:46

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

quote:

I am in a dilemma with my mother-in-law. Our relationship has always been troubled. She�s always told me what to do, starting with our wedding, where I had no say because she was the one who paid and I was too young to realize what she was up to. Now that we have kids, she undermines me (for example, telling my kids to have two pieces of cake when I�ve told them they can have one) or makes me out to be the bad guy (I say I�m just tired and don�t want people over; she says I�m keeping her from her grandkids). She often guilt-trips me, or threatens that if I don�t do what she wants, she won�t watch my kids while I�m at work.

So, I invited her to church almost a year ago, and didn�t think anything of it when she asked to ride with us. I just thought she was uncomfortable going by herself. But every Sunday morning she comes over early, rides with us, and then hangs out for two hours after. It makes me so anxious having her tagging along while I�m trying to get my kids ready in the morning. How can I navigate this situation and tell her I�d just like to meet her at church, then go home afterward with her�without hurting her feelings?

quote:
In a family where a daughter and her mother-in-law weren�t already on each other�s last nerve, it would be a relatively simple request to say, �Hey, it�s so chaotic around here on Sunday mornings�can we just meet you at church, and then we�d love to have you come over after?� On the scale of In-Law Conflict, that�s like a 1.2 out of 10. But given how toxic your relationship with each other seems, it�s totally possible that her feelings will be hurt by this polite request. But oh well! You should make it anyway.

Or � and I�m just spitballing here � your husband could make the request. I could not help but notice, in fact, that you did not once mention your husband in this cri de coeur about your mother-in-law, even though she is his mother, not yours. Why is this? Why are you the one who has to deal with your mother-in-law, and who she asks about coming to church, or coming over to your house? Why is it you who has to deal with her saying the kids can have two pieces of cake? Why is the interface between your family and her not being managed by her actual blood relative, her son?!

Sorry to shout. But this should not be your job! It should be his! Hmm, I�m shouting again. Maybe it�s because every advice columnist gets some variation on this question almost every week, and these letters often take it as a given that a wife with plenty on her plate already must by default also be the one who handles all in-law negotiations.

Let�s just go ahead and establish a basic Advice Column Law: Your Annoying Mother-in-Law Is Not Your Problem. She Is Your Husband�s Problem. He should be the primary person who deals with her. He should be her point person in family interaction. When someone needs to say something to her, he is the one who should say it.

(This is, of course, true across genders: Your parent, your problem. But notably it is not the husbands who are writing in to advice columns about this. It is the wives. The husbands are the ones holding up their hands and saying, �Whoa, you ladies sure yell at each other a lot!�)

So anyway: It will be totally fine if your mother-in-law does not come over before church. Your husband should tell her so.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:48

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for changing my mind about hosting a baby shower because i wont remove my dogs.

quote:

A few months ago I (F28) offered to my best friend to host her Baby Shower. We've known each other for 20 years. I was her maid of honor. She accepted. Invitations were sent out a few weeks ago. We are in the thick of planning it. It is next weekend.

The topic of my dogs came up. I have a lab and golden. She doesn't want them at the party. I was like this is the dogs house too, i'm not going to take them anywhere or lock them away. She said there are going to be a lot of people here including several young children. We've know each other forever, she knows my dogs are well behaved and great with kids. Even if they were messed with, i trust that nothing would happen.

She explains that my dogs can be a bit much, i'm like I don't know what you are talking about. She says she is fine with them, but doesn't think in a party setting like this they will be great. She again asked at the very least if I could keep them locked away. I told her that she can find a new venue to host her baby shower. She called me an rear end in a top hat. She didn't think this was a big deal. I asked her to leave. She has let everyone know that there is a TBD venue change and now i've had people reaching out to me about what happened. AITA?

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:53

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Going to a bar full of alcoholics and freaking out about the one milk guy is pretty funny

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:54

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

Lone Goat posted:

Sounds like a great way to raise a fuckin scrub. if you want the child to cherish a memory of beating you, they gotta earn it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RkapfBYIfc

And yeah I grew up with video games since I was like 5, never once did have I destroyed a controller or console in a fit of rage.

I destroyed a chair seat once, but that was playing F-Zero GX.

Yes, it was Story Mode Chapter 7.

Yes, the stage from the goon rant.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:57

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

CharlestheHammer posted:

Going to a bar full of alcoholics and freaking out about the one milk guy is pretty funny

I think you mean going to a bar full of NORMAL PEOPLE and being justifiably upset about the SMUG rear end in a top hat WHO LOOKS DOWN ON THEM

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:57

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

Tarkus posted:

We've had the milk at bars discussion before and some people, in gbs, have a real bug up their rear end about people who would drink milk in a bar. I fail to see why anyone would care.

I thought that had something to do with the guy taking a girl to a bar and then only ordering milk? I'd be really confused and a little suspicious yeah

Note the weird part is he chose the location. Why???

# ? Apr 6, 2024 22:58

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

I. M. Gei posted:

I destroyed a chair seat once, but that was playing F-Zero GX.

Yes, it was Story Mode Chapter 7.

Yes, the stage from the goon rant.

I�d expect nothing less from a gibbering man-ape

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:03

mystes: May 31, 2006

syntaxfunction posted:

Milk is halfway to a cocktail anyway, so it's a mocktail, which people have all the time in bars, ipso factso ergo cognito sum of all fears.

milktails could be the next big thing

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:06

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

quote:

I am a middle-aged divorced father of twins that are currently of college-age. I have decided to start dating again a few months ago after years of being single. The truth is, the woman I am in a relationship with is at the same age group � early 20�s. I obviously love my daughters to pieces but I am unsure how to break this news to them. I know that they want me to date for a long time since I divorced but I think there would be some awkwardness considering that I�m dating someone barely older than them.

I am dating this beautiful woman from Moscow, Russia and how I found her is pretty interesting. I communicated with her via this website called A Foreign Affair. I�m just seeking advice for how to tell my daughters that I�m dating again, but I feel the need to tell a bit of background just so you guys know where I�m coming from. I am a white man from Key West and I�ve been divorced for about 9 years and I�ve never had steady relationships since then. It would always end after a few months. There were some good moments and experiences but they were really BAD relationships that I feel grateful I got out of. Normally, I would go elsewhere to ease the loneliness, but I decided I want to chat with real women, and that�s how I found the website. I think they were the first on the search engine so I just clicked. I was chatting with multiple other women, but the woman I am dating now stood out the most.

I�m normally not attracted to women half my age but there�s just something special about her. We just clicked even though we barely had anything common. I was curious to know if I was experiencing the real deal so I phoned her. Unfortunately I don't speak Russian but we got along fine because she knows basic English . I knew I was falling in love and I hadn�t even met her yet! It�s weird. I decided I just really didn�t care but I do care about the opinions of my twin daughters. How do you think I should tell them? I know they want me to be happy but it doesn�t lessen my nervousness. Please help me. I need your opinions on how to deal with this. Thanks. -Roger

Paragraphs added.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:09

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Cythereal posted:

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

Paragraphs added.

Lmao

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:13

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

haveblue posted:

I�d expect nothing less from a gibbering man-ape

That goon rant is 100% truth though. I had spent eight straight hours trying to beat that awful stage when I slammed my controller on that chair seat.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:17

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Cythereal posted:

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

Paragraphs added.

Twist: it's that guy who got caught texting classified military info to his ""girlfriend""

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:20

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Cythereal posted:

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

quote:
I am dating this beautiful woman from Moscow, Russia and how I found her is pretty interesting. I communicated with her via this website called A Foreign Affair.

Paragraphs added.

Lol, yes, very interesting.

Chances on this dude working for the DoD and his new "girlfriend" being very interested in his work?

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:22

mystes: May 31, 2006

Cythereal posted:

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

Paragraphs added.

How to break it to my college-age daughters that I'm "dating" a scammer??!! Please help

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:22

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

Elviscat posted:

Milk is a pro order at a bar, preferably with some Kahlua and Vodka.

Gross.

Use cream or half-and-half.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:22

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Elviscat posted:

Lol, yes, very interesting.

Chances on this dude working for the DoD and his new "girlfriend" being very interested in his work?

It's from before Russia invaded Ukraine, so low albeit not zero. I've been looking for older stories lately.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:33

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Elviscat posted:

Milk is a pro order at a bar, preferably with some Kahlua and Vodka.

You know, you give me an idea.

What if I ordered a pint of 2% then pulled out a bottle of Hershey�s chocolate flavored syrup and a mixing spoon?

Just sitting there, makin myself a chocolate milk. I could have the bartender keep the bottle behind the bar and charge me a corkage fee.

Like completely play it straight but with chocolate syrup instead of some fancy wine

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:34

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Agrikk posted:

You know, you give me an idea.

What if I ordered a pint of 2% then pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate flavored syrup and a mixing spoon?

Just sitting there, makin myself a chocolate milk. I could have the bartender keep the bottle behind the bar and charge me a corkage fee.

Like completely play it straight but with chocolate syrup instead of some fancy wine

Have the bartender hand you a dollop of the syrup on a barspoon, throughly sniff it and taste it, then hand it back to him and nod affirmatively.

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:36

emSparkly: Nov 21, 2022; Can't post for 3 days!

How do I break to my daughters that I spent all their inheritance on a Russian mail order bride scam?

# ? Apr 6, 2024 23:41

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

"Accidental", eh?

AITAH for not allowing my fiancee to uninvite my mom from our wedding after accidental mud throwing?

quote:

My fiancee �Emma� and I recently spend some time at my mom�s vacation house. Emma and my mom don�t have the best relationship. Nothing crazy but a bit stand offish. I�ve asked Emma and she says nothing happened but she feels my mom doesn�t like her.

There has been a lot of rain lately so our usual hiking trails were all flooded. Sometimes my family will do a hike in the mud and just accept everything�s getting ruined. We planned a mud hike for a particularly challenging trail and I asked Emma if she wanted to skip it as I know that isn�t her thing. She said she�d go and be a team player. I tried my best to keep it fun for her but I could tell she was struggling.

Towards the end of the hike my mom threw some mud and it hit Emma. My mom looked mortified and swore that was meant for her husband and not Emma and apologized, but Emma was furious. She yelled at my mom, called her childish, frigid, and said she was uninvited to our wedding for humiliating her.

I was taken aback because it looked like a genuine accident. Emma began yelling that my mom was �punishing� her for not �fitting in� or �being who she wants me to marry� everyone was blind sided and Emma said she didn�t want someone who threw mud at her at our wedding.

I took Emma aside and told her I loved her more than anything but I do believe it was an accident and I won�t allow her to ban my mom from OUR wedding over what looked like an accident. Emma got upset and accused me of not defending her. Now my family (minus my mom) isn�t talking to me and is saying I didn�t do enough to defend my mom

For some more context- my mom's husband was walking in front of her and Emma was on his side. I didn't see it make impact, but immediately saw the result. My mom was embarrassed and ran to hug her husband, calm down, apologize. She swears Emma came up beside him and she didn't see her. He previously had mud on his hands and grabbed my moms face/kissed her, so this was not out of nowhere

I can't believe you are having such a meltdown just because my mother (who does not like you) pelted you with wet, stinking mud!

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:06

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Shanghaied posted:

Well, let's just say that the procedure was first developed for veterinary medicine, and is usually performed under general anaesthesia. Brain activity (or even a functional spinal cord) is not required at all.

Explains a lot, really.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:08

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

Cythereal posted:

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

Thanks. -Roger

My cat's name is Roger and he's an absolute loving idiot. This guy is somehow even dumber than that.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:12

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Cythereal posted:

How to break to my college-age daughters that I'm dating someone their age??!! Please help

Paragraphs added.

The snort I let out when I got to �Moscow� :lol:

Also, talk about burying the loving lede

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:16

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

FMguru posted:

"Accidental", eh?

AITAH for not allowing my fiancee to uninvite my mom from our wedding after accidental mud throwing?

I can't believe you are having such a meltdown just because my mother (who does not like you) pelted you with wet, stinking mud!

... This honestly sounds like it really could have been accidental and there are some missing steps between this and immediately and unilaterally uninviting your future MIL from your wedding.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:17

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

FMguru posted:

"Accidental", eh?

AITAH for not allowing my fiancee to uninvite my mom from our wedding after accidental mud throwing?

I can't believe you are having such a meltdown just because my mother (who does not like you) pelted you with wet, stinking mud!

I went to look at the comments and reddit is mostly voting NTA :psyduck:

I guess that, yeah, on the surface of it uninviting a close family member over slinging some mud is an overreaction, but it's pretty clear that there's a lot more going on here between 1) mom "accidentally" hitting her future DIL instead of her husband and going to console her husband for not being hit with mud and 2) the rest of mom's family ganging up on her son for not defending mom enough.

EDIT: also 3) he admits he did not see the mud throwing or impact but repeatedly insists "it looked like an accident"

the holy poopacy fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Apr 7, 2024

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:21

Wii Spawn Camper: Nov 25, 2005

the holy poopacy posted:

I went to look at the comments and reddit is mostly voting NTA I guess that, yeah, on the surface of it uninviting a close family member over slinging some mud is an overreaction, but it's pretty clear that there's a lot more going on here between 1) mom "accidentally" hitting her future DIL instead of her husband and going to console her husband for not being hit with mud and 2) the rest of mom's family ganging up on her son for not defending mom enough.

Yeah I was on his side until I read this

quote:

I didn't see it make impact, but immediately saw the result. My mom was embarrassed and ran to hug her husband, calm down, apologize.

That reaction doesn't make any sense if the mom actually gave a poo poo about the fiancee. And he didn't see it happen.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:31

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Troublemaker posted:

My cat's name is Roger and he's an absolute loving idiot. This guy is somehow even dumber than that.

i dunno, have you checked your roger's internet history?

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:31

mystes: May 31, 2006

the holy poopacy posted:

I went to look at the comments and reddit is mostly voting NTA I guess that, yeah, on the surface of it uninviting a close family member over slinging some mud is an overreaction, but it's pretty clear that there's a lot more going on here between 1) mom "accidentally" hitting her future DIL instead of her husband and going to console her husband for not being hit with mud and 2) the rest of mom's family ganging up on her son for not defending mom enough.

It seems like a story with way too much missing information

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:32

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

I. M. Gei posted:

I destroyed a chair seat once, but that was playing F-Zero GX.

Yes, it was Story Mode Chapter 7.

Yes, the stage from the goon rant.

AITA for telling F-Zero GX I'd throw it a huge kegger if it makes the human lose?

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:40

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Agrikk posted:

Pages back but I�ve been in recovery for going on thirteen years now and I order milk when I go to bars with my friends just to gently caress with people. In a sea of mules and tonics and pints and old fashions, my pint of 2% stands tall and unrepentant.

It�s really bizarre how strong of a reaction I�ve received over the years from bartenders and patrons alike. On more than one occasion a (very drunk) guy tried to get me to �step outside� so he could kick my rear end.

People are weird

# ? Apr 7, 2024 00:52

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

FMguru posted:

"Accidental", eh?

AITAH for not allowing my fiancee to uninvite my mom from our wedding after accidental mud throwing?

I can't believe you are having such a meltdown just because my mother (who does not like you) pelted you with wet, stinking mud!

drat, Emma just can't catch a break with these folks

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:01

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

I�m exhausted just reading this

AITA for spending all my money that was supposed to be used to get us back home?

quote:

AITA for spending all my money that was supposed to be used to get us back home?

My fiance's family invited us to go with them on a little vacation. They told us not to worry about money because they covered the air bnb so all we would have to pay for is gas. It's a 19hr car drive. We arrived last Wednesday.

My in laws are so overbearing. Like if I go and take a shower, they are knocking on the door within 3 minutes to check on me. If I go to the bedroom to have a minute to myself, they are yelling up to me within 5 minutes to see if I'm good. If I say I need to go for a walk to clear my head, they follow me and make it a family thing. If I want to go site see they immediately get ready to go too and coerce us to go to the sites they think I will enjoy, versus what I would actually like. They sit there and talk to me and won't let me go to bed until after midnight and then they are up knocking on the door at 6am to get me and my fiance downstairs for coffee. And they literally do not stop talking from sun up to sun down.

I'm an introvert. I need space to refill my social bar and since I've been here, I haven't had a moment to myself. I mean not even being able to take a shower without being harassed is pissing me the gently caress off. I've talked to my fiance about it several times and have told him more than once I need "me time". I need to stop being followed. I need to decompress. His way of combating this was to be up my rear end 24/7 and continuously asking if I'm okay or to bitch to me about how annoyed he is becoming. Not helping at all. I've told him that. But after being followed when I was on the phone and having his mother try talking over the conversation I was having, it was the final straw. I packed my stuff and went to a hotel by myself. The $250 of my money to get home was now spent because I needed to get away before I lost it. My fiance knew I was beyond touched out and I warned him this was going to happen but apparently he didn't believe me. So now he's shocked that I would do this and make everything awkward for him and spend my portion of the trip money. AITA?

ETA: I mentioned to my in laws directly a few times that I needed space to decompress. Even when stating I needed to go on a walk to clear my head, they took it as an invitation to come along, despite me stating I needed space. Or like when I went to the bedroom, I announced it to the entire room that I needed a minute, and they proceeded to continuously yell up to me to make sure I was good. So they were fully aware that I was getting touched out but it seems like in their head that meant that they needed to helicopter and make sure I was okay by tagging along and watching me. We had plenty of money to get home. We set aside a specific set of money for the gas back. Me spending my set aside money for the gas back did not in any way leave us stranded here.

INFO: are your in-laws a herd of cats?

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:17

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Ah, that's my nightmare.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:22

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

should have taken the going home money and used it to go home

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:28

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

This seems less like a bunch of boisterous extroverts and more like some sort of hazing.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:32

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I'd have been out of there when they bugged me to see if I'm okay in the loving shower. I WAS okay until your rear end decided to butt its way in!

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:46

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:30

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Brawnfire posted:

Ah, that's my nightmare.

That would be the end of my engagement since I would roundly curse anyone bothering me in the bathroom.

# ? Apr 7, 2024 01:47

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

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