r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

Metaline: Aug 20, 2003

PetraCore posted:

Mmmmhm, that's how I feel. And someday people won't remember me, but they'll remember people who remembered me, or however long that chain goes. The little kind and good actions you can do still have an impact, even if you might never know it directly.

You should read The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 07:05

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 11:41

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for wearing fake freckles?

quote:

I work in a beauty supply store where we sell makeup, hair care products, etc. We got these little �freckle pens� in recently.

When I was younger I would always get a few freckles in the summer from playing outside in the sun all day. Now that I am older, I try to take better care of my skin. I use sunscreen and try to limit my exposure.

I miss my freckles, so I decided to try the pen. I picked out the lightest shade so they would look natural. It worked wonderfully and now I use it almost every day.

I met up with one of my friends for lunch yesterday and she looked at me funny and asked �have you always had freckles?� I told her about the freckle pen and she told me that �it doesn�t sit right with her soul� that she was bullied as a child for having freckles and now people wear them as a fashion statement. I told her I that I just thought they were cute and she said that it felt like �cultural appropriation.�

I don�t think I�m in the wrong here. Obviously it sucks that she was bullied but I don�t think using a freckle pen is the same thing as cultural appropriation.

EDIT: For those asking the pen I used is the freckle pen by lime crime. I got the shade amber, but they have a couple darker shades too. (And a magenta shade too) NOT WATERPROOF

As for the friend I�m probably just not gonna use the pen anymore when we hang out. I only see her once every few weeks anyways! Not really worth imo

it's not freckle appropriation it's more like freckle stolen valour

# ? Apr 8, 2024 10:28

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

Every time someone wears dark eyeshadow I get angry about them stealing the valor of the time I caught a softball with my face and got a black eye.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 10:34

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

quote:

DEAR ABBY: This is the third time I have received a gift of a political book from my brother-in-law! We are poles apart politically. It came with a message to �please read the book THIS time.� He is expecting a book report and discussion of the book when he next visits.

He started doing this several years ago after my sister died. She used to keep him politically in check, but he has become increasingly obnoxious and emboldened. I have tried tactfully responding that I do not enjoy reading political books, that I do not approve of name-calling, that those who disagree with us are not �stupid� and we just need to accept our differing viewpoints.

There is no way to have a rational political discussion with him. I�m trying to preserve family unity, which is very important to me. My brother wants to threaten him to stop harassing me. My son and his wife suggested sending him things that reflect MY political philosophy.

What do you think I should do? I waver between anger and laughter. By the way, I sent him a box of chocolate chip cookies, which he loves, for the holidays. -- HARASSED IN OHIO

quote:
DEAR HARASSED: Your brother-in-law is not going to change. Unless you are willing to tolerate his political browbeating into eternity, return the book and �postpone� his next visit indefinitely. Continue sending him his chocolate chip cookies ONLY if he agrees to quit sending you political literature. Family unity may be important to you, but your late sister�s husband has distanced himself, and that is no one�s fault but HIS OWN.

Dear Abby's getting sick of this poo poo too

# ? Apr 8, 2024 11:17

DoubleNegative: Jan 27, 2010; The most virtuous child in the entire world.

Wait, he was actually expecting a book report and philosophical discussion on the subject? :lol:

I wouldn't do that poo poo for something I agreed with, let alone an opposing political viewpoint.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 12:20

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Mx. posted:

AITA for wearing fake freckles?

it's not freckle appropriation it's more like freckle stolen valour

Poor Freckles, thought of self-appropriation and died

# ? Apr 8, 2024 12:31

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

It was really classless of you to ruin your own reception that we planned to ruin first

Love how you can tell the brother has had to deal with this a long time & is just over their bullshit

quote:

The photographer had been sent home, apparently my brother and his wife did their photos before the ceremony. And took some with the few people who did know they were skipping the reception. Some of their friends and his wife's dad and his wife. But no one else including anyone from my family.

My parents were angry and they talked to the friend because my brother and his wife weren't answering. Their honeymoon was supposed to be in a few months. Apparently they cancelled it two weeks ago and switched to a different honeymoon. They were already on their way to Bristol to the airport and had left their mobile phones with their friend, he had them when my parents talked to him.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 14:30

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Does that count as eloping?

# ? Apr 8, 2024 14:42

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I'm just confused on how brother 2 was going to get married at the reception. Was he going to smuggle in a friend who is an ordained minister and do it on the dance floor? Or did OP mean to say they were getting engaged and mispoke?

Anyway, we should all grab a bag of candy to eat as we read this post:

AITA for letting my SIL give her kids candy that I got from Spain for my diabetic dad?

quote:

I just got back from visiting my sister in Jerez de la Frontera in Spain. While I was there I stocked up on some candy my dad loves from there. He is diabetic and he says that the taste is different between Canadian sugar free and European sugar free. I think they all taste gross but I'm not one to judge.

I picked up a bunch of souvenirs as well. I got my brother's wife a very cool ceramic tiled horse for her collection.

My brother and his family popped over to see some pictures, hear some stories, and pick up some loot. I brought my niece and nephew each a gift bag full of knick knacks that I bought off street vendors.

My sister in law saw the bags of candy and asked if it was for them too. I said it was for my dad. She said that he's diabetic, duh, and that I was being bad. I told her it was sugar free. I let her try one. She said it didn't taste sugar free.

I wasn't going to argue. I pointed out where it said "sin az�car". She asked for a small bag of it to let her mom try since she is also diabetic.

I had lots so I gave her one small bag. Which she decided to share with her kids on their way home.

It gave them incredibly stinky gas and diarrhea. She called me and said I was trying to hurt her mom. I asked wtf she was talking about. She said what happened to the kids. I said she was an idiot for giving her kids each half a bag of sugar free candy. I also forwarded her a link about sugar alcohols.

She wants me to pay for some cleaning at her house. I told her to get stuffed. My brother called me and told me he would give me the money to.guve her to keep the peace.

She is still mad and is telling everyone that I was an rear end in a top hat for not warning her. I tell anyone who asks that o my an idiot would give kids that much candy.

It is causing problems.

My dad enjoyed his candy though.

I love a good "Du hast Haribo!" story

# ? Apr 8, 2024 14:47

mystes: May 31, 2006

DemoneeHo posted:

I'm just confused on how brother 2 was going to get married at the reception. Was he going to smuggle in a friend who is an ordained minister and do it on the dance floor? Or did OP mean to say they were getting engaged and mispoke?

"they were going to announce it and that they want to get married at the reception" = "at the reception, they were going to announce... that they want to get married" I think

# ? Apr 8, 2024 14:49

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

unfortunately there is no moment in a traditional ceremony where you can shout "we do too!" and have it count

# ? Apr 8, 2024 14:55

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Your earth languages are so imprecise. But I suppose it cannot be helped with such a young race.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 14:57

JacquelineDempsey: Aug 6, 2008; Women's Circuit Bender Union Local 34

DemoneeHo posted:

Anyway, we should all grab a bag of candy to eat as we read this post:

AITA for letting my SIL give her kids candy that I got from Spain for my diabetic dad?

I love a good "Du hast Haribo!" story

The sister wants her to pay for some "cleaning"? Just how bad was this diarrhea??

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:15

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

I feel like I remember a story from a while back where someone pulled a second surprise ceremony at someone else's wedding, sneaking in the officiant somehow

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:18

Barudak: May 7, 2007

JacquelineDempsey posted:

The sister wants her to pay for some "cleaning"? Just how bad was this diarrhea??

I sigh as I unsheathe my poop katana

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:20

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

JacquelineDempsey posted:

The sister wants her to pay for some "cleaning"? Just how bad was this diarrhea??

Projectile

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:23

Bobstar: Feb 8, 2006; KartooshFace, you are not responding efficiently!

haveblue posted:

I feel like I remember a story from a while back where someone pulled a second surprise ceremony at someone else's wedding, sneaking in the officiant somehow

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:24

cat botherer: Jan 6, 2022; I am interested in most phases of data processing.

pro-tip: Sweeteners marketed as stuff like "monkfruit" or "stevia leaf" pretty much always have just a trace amount of the headline ingredient, and the rest is xylitol or another sugar alcohol. So you're paying more and also get bonus diarrhea if you eat too much and/or have IBS.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:25

Indecisive: May 6, 2007

JacquelineDempsey posted:

The sister wants her to pay for some "cleaning"? Just how bad was this diarrhea??

look bounty rolls are loving expensive these days

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:25

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

haveblue posted:

I feel like I remember a story from a while back where someone pulled a second surprise ceremony at someone else's wedding, sneaking in the officiant somehow

They thought they'd be cute and talk like the double rainbow guy to do it suddenly during the reception and was then shocked everyone was pissed at them.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:27

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

It doesn't sit right with my soul that I was bullied as a child for having natural diarrhea, and now the kids these days are faking it with sugar free candies :sigh:

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:29

Pantaloon Pontiff: Jun 25, 2023

kimbo305 posted:

Heh, I wondered the same for the dude who used a dating bot to land an attractive interesting woman.

If they are ads, I feel like "imagine you are dating a hot young Russian and have to convince your college-age daughters it's cool" is a much more appealing scenario to present then "imagine you're dating a hot girl, then she finds out you used an AI for first contact and dumps you". One of them says "use this and you'll have the kind of problems you're happy to have", other one says "use this and you'll have a potential disaster waiting for you forever".

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:37

mystes: May 31, 2006

cat botherer posted:

pro-tip: Sweeteners marketed as stuff like "monkfruit" or "stevia leaf" pretty much always have just a trace amount of the headline ingredient, and the rest is xylitol or another sugar alcohol. So you're paying more and also get bonus diarrhea if you eat too much and/or have IBS.

Any granulated form of a non-bulk sweetener has to have other ingredients like a starch or bulk sweetener for there to be enough stuff to make it granulated, and they're usually aiming to make each packet equivalent to a sugar packet which necessarily means there isn't going to be much of the actual sweetener because those sweeteners are so intense. If you don't want the filler... don't buy a granulated version, get a liquid version.

The liquid versions also tend to mix into stuff more easily and be less messy.

mystes fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Apr 8, 2024

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:38

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I'm stuck on the term "bonus diarrhea"

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:52

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

mystes posted:

"they were going to announce it and that they want to get married at the reception" = "at the reception, they were going to announce... that they want to get married" I think

That was my read too. At the reception, they grab the microphone from the DJ and be like "Hey everybody guess what! Jenny is pregnant! And Jenny, will you marry me?"

Also, :lmao:

at the brother rescheduling the honeymoon, then leaving their phones behind as a distraction to buy extra time to flee the country in the getaway car.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:56

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Good on them evading all this, but what kind of psycho leaves their phones behind entirely.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 15:58

mystes: May 31, 2006

kdrudy posted:

Good on them evading all this, but what kind of psycho leaves their phones behind entirely.

Yeah obviously they should have just gotten burner sims

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:00

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

DemoneeHo posted:

I'm just confused on how brother 2 was going to get married at the reception. Was he going to smuggle in a friend who is an ordained minister and do it on the dance floor? Or did OP mean to say they were getting engaged and mispoke?

Well it's England so who knows but in the USA you can go to a website, click the 'ordain me' button and you're legally allowed to marry people. Since they're in England I'd wonder how they were going to handle the prima noctis thing with the local baron, but presumably he took care of that before they left for the honeymoon.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:12

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for not attending my step daughter’s wedding?

quote:

I (46M) have been married to “Kate” (48F) for over a decade. Kate has two daughters from her previous marriage, “Selena” (29F) and “Amy” (25F). We have a daughter “Lynn” (12F) together.

Two years ago Selena got married and although I was invited to the wedding, I wasn’t a part of the ceremony. Selena is very close with her bio dad and doesn’t see me as a father figure, which I respect because we still have an amazing relationship. Amy considers me a father figure, though.

I also have a very good relationship with Kate’s ex and the girls’ bio dad, “Ron” (54M). We bonded over football and we went on many games together. I don’t have many friends since I moved to another state, but I consider Ron a very good friend of mine.

Amy is planning a wedding and this is when the conflict ensued. She wants me to be the one to walk her down the aisle and the one to dance with her. I felt very honored until I found out the reasoning behind this decision.

Around five years ago, Ron suffered a serious injury that affected his mobility. Fortunately he isn’t paralyzed or anything, but Amy claimed that his limp would get in the way of having nice wedding videos. I was shocked and appalled and disappointed in how cold and brutal she treated him. Ron was very involved in her life and loves her so much, and his condition wasn’t even an issue for Selena when she was getting married.

I politely declined her request and this is when poo poo hit the fan. Ron found out that she wanted me to take his place and he decided to not participate in the wedding at all, also deciding to not contribute financially. His wife, “Belle” (F38), called Amy and said that she is an rear end in a top hat and that she won’t be contributing financially either. Amy and Belle had a pretty good relationship and Amy relied on their financial support when she was planning the wedding. I decided to not participate in this wedding either since Amy decided to exclude her own father and my best friend.

Now Amy says that I’m an rear end in a top hat for refusing to pay for the wedding, to participate in it and ruining her special day. Kate says I’m being too harsh on her since she lost the support of her bio dad and step mom. Her fiancé is on her side too. Selena, Ron and Belle think that she’s an rear end in a top hat and pretty much cut her off, expecting me to cut her off as well. Luckily Lynn doesn’t have a distinctive opinion. The drama is snowballing with every next day and I feel like I need to hear some outside opinions. Sorry if I left out any info, I tried my best to put it in an 3000 character post.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:20

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

All these tales always involve a phone call where the aggreived calls and the conversation is like

1: Hello. I have called to tell you that you are an rear end in a top hat. Good day
2: How dare they call me an rear end in a top hat! I am group texting this to everybody

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:31

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

The ages of everyone involved are interesting.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:38

Sir Sidney Poitier: Aug 14, 2006; My favourite actor

John Wick of Dogs posted:

All these tales always involve a phone call where the aggreived calls and the conversation is like

1: Hello. I have called to tell you that you are an rear end in a top hat. Good day

2: How dare they call me an rear end in a top hat! I am group texting this to everybody

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:40

mystes: May 31, 2006

Kurieg posted:

AITA for not attending my step daughter’s wedding?

quote:

Around five years ago, Ron suffered a serious injury that affected his mobility. Fortunately he isn�t paralyzed or anything, but Amy claimed that his limp would get in the way of having nice wedding videos.

How do people think like this. What the gently caress is wrong with people? Why is the video of your wedding more important than your relationship with your family?

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:50

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I've been married twice and I can't remember the last time I looked at any of the pictures.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 16:55

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Kurieg posted:

AITA for not attending my step daughter’s wedding?

had me in the first half, not gonna lie

# ? Apr 8, 2024 17:09

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

mystes posted:

How do people think like this. What the gently caress is wrong with people? Why is the video of your wedding more important than your relationship with your family?

this is your brain on social media

# ? Apr 8, 2024 17:26

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I've been married twice and I can't remember the last time I looked at any of the pictures.

Heck, even if Amy is the exact opposite and does look at the photos regularly, that would still argue in favor of having the family there because it's a nice memory. The fact that he's holding a cane or whatever in the photo won't even register, you'll just think about how nice it was to share that moment.

AceClown posted:

this is your brain on social media

Good guess.

OP posted:

Amy is very perfectionistic when it comes to events, and she has some social media following that she has to maintain the image for. It doesn�t excuse her actions, though, not in the slightest. Guess just eloping won�t bring her that much online attention.

I also found this while looking for the comments of the wedding photo story:
AITA for having an underwhelming reaction to my mom being pregnant?

quote:

My parents told me (15f) a few weeks ago that they're expecting another baby. This will be my first sibling and possibly only sibling because it took such a long time for my mom to have another baby. I'll admit to not being that excited. And that really hurt my mom's feelings. When they sat me down and told me I said oh and didn't really react much but I was really surprised and also had like a lot of thoughts that happened so quickly and admittedly most of them weren't that positive. My mom was really upset by my underwhelming initial reaction and my parents aren't super thrilled that after a few weeks I'm not more excited.

My mom was crying the other night because 10ish years ago I used to beg for a sibling and now it's finally happened and I'm not reacting like they wanted or expected.

My dad was so pissed when mom cried to him and he told me how disappointed he was in me that I was underreacting so badly. He said having a sibling is a blessing and our family is getting bigger and I wanted a sibling for such a long time when I was younger and now it's like I don't want one.

AITA?

quote:

My parents have always believed if there is a 10+ year age gap between siblings that the older one has a duty and responsibility to babysit for the parents when they want and to help take care of the baby day to day regardless of what they have going on. So I know to expect babysitting at least once (but likely twice) a week once the baby gets here and I know I will need to help feed and comfort the baby no matter what I'm doing if my parents are trying to do something else. This feels like a burden and I'm already aware that I won't get free time like I used to and I won't see my friends as often and doing homework will be harder. My parents have had these views as long as I can remember and they're vocal about them. So I already know what to expect. This is by far the thing that makes me feel the most negative about the new baby coming.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 17:30

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I nurse a particularly bitter hatred for adults who play dumb about how children actually think as opposed to what they're supposed to think. Why isn't my 15 year old excited about a baby?! Why doesn't my 17 year old daughter want to hang out with her 8 year old brother?! Why isn't my blended family perfect???

# ? Apr 8, 2024 17:36

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I've been married twice and I can't remember the last time I looked at any of the pictures.

Awhhh they changed your avatar back.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 17:38

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 11:41

toplitzin: Jun 13, 2003

MagusofStars posted:

AITA for having an underwhelming reaction to my mom being pregnant?

Why aren't you excited for us to make you a parent at 15?

# ? Apr 8, 2024 17:40

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