quote:

My spouse has been having an affair for a few months now. I discovered it after seeing a message on their phone. They know cheating is a no-go for me and an instant relationship ender. For that reason, I decided to go to a lawyer and get the divorce papers prepared without saying anything. Our relationship continued without a problem during these few weeks and I served them the papers yesterday. They were shocked and asked me the reason crying as if they do not know it.

I told them I knew about their affair. They said I should have talked to them before doing that and we can still save our relationship. I told them saving it is not my responsibility as they are the one who killed it. They told me it was cruel and continuing our relationship as if everything is okay was wrong. They could have at least prepare themselves if I were to let them know about wanting a divorce. I told them they can get ready with their lawyer now that they are served.

AITAH?

wheatpuppy posted:

I meant the bit where she said, "we had to go around the corner to find a place for him to change.". I took that to mean he did actually change, but it is not explained well.

Here is a totally mature, grown-up man:

AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation

What, you expect the adult to control himself? He can't say "no" to a bet, that'd be a sign of weakness! Instead he will just pout dramatically every time he is bested by a child.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

So she showed him how to do Sodoku but he didn't know she was good at it? How would she have shown him if she wasn't?

DoubleNegative posted:

A short and sweet tale of a spine.

AITAH for blindsiding my cheating spouse with divorce papers?

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

So she showed him how to do Sodoku but he didn't know she was good at it? How would she have shown him if she wasn't?

Hughlander posted:

This is a long one but I couldn't not post it due to the bolded part at the end of the update

Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with my wife being friends with her friend after something she accused me of?


Update - 6 days later

wheatpuppy posted:

AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation

Deified Data posted:

I can smell every subject of this post

Kurieg posted:

Yeah, it can be fun to be friends with a poo poo stirrer but it can blind you to when it's happening to people close to you.

Biplane posted:

Legitmately shook I ended up sort of on the side of a hentai-and-feet guy

DoubleNegative posted:

A short and sweet tale of a spine.

AITAH for blindsiding my cheating spouse with divorce papers?

wheatpuppy posted:

But she's a girl. Of course he expected to beat her.

MagusofStars posted:

This would also explain why a guy in his late 30's (or older?) thinks he can beat a state champion swimmer.

I wonder if he's also part of the irrationally confident 8% of Americans who think they can win hand-to-hand combat against elephants and lions and bears.

syntaxfunction posted:

Honestly guy just sounds like he has kinks but isn't, like, making it his personality or actively trying to subject everyone to it. And at that point it's not really different to any other kink someone could be into, except I don't like it. But he sounds like no one has to actually deal with that so Hentai Footguy is okay by me.

Also this is why I always make sure the *first* people I stir poo poo with are friends, so they don't get surprised when I torment people I barely know. It's just polite.

MagusofStars posted:

This would also explain why a guy in his late 30's (or older?) thinks he can beat a state champion swimmer.

I wonder if he's also part of the irrationally confident 8% of Americans who think they can win hand-to-hand combat against elephants and lions and bears.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I thought they meant "around the corner" as in finding another place nearby with a bathroom or something, but that would be the funnier option

Biplane posted:

Legitmately shook I ended up sort of on the side of a hentai-and-feet guy

quote:

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/NYwOKIyv70

First Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/8eNEmoVOqh

Hey it’s me again!

Still doing okay and hoping this will be the last update I need to make (Granted I thought the last one would be the last). I did say I wasn’t going to make another update unless something significant happened. That’s why it’s been a week, so I’m sorry for the silence.

Following my update post, Jordan’s mum did message me back on Facebook, that same day. We had a chat for a little while, she’s a really nice lady 😊
She agreed though that this was incredibly out of character for Jordan, and in fact, she mentioned a few other things that she had noticed as being ‘off’ about him in the last few weeks. Nothing crazy, just things here and there she’d never known him to do or say.

I spoke with her at length about Jordan’s mental health and potential psychosis, and she told me that there is a history of mental illness on his dad’s side, including a paternal uncle’s suicide, but that she doesn’t know all that much about it because they’ve not spoken to one another in quite a long while.
Our conversation lasted about an hour, I showed her Jordan’s texts etc and she agreed that they sounded quite manic, regardless of how coherent they were.

A lot of people also asked if he had told our mutual friends and acquaintances that we were dating. I did message our mutual friends, our dorm mates etc and they all basically said they’ve got no idea what I’m talking about. So it seems he’s just been sort of having these thoughts by himself without expressing them? I don’t know how to get in contact with his close friends that we don’t share, so I can’t really ask them.

Anyway, for a few days, that was it. Until yesterday evening anyway, which is where the big and positive depending on how you see it update comes.

I got word from Jordan’s mum that he had been detained under Section 136 by the police. For anyone not from the UK or who (like me) doesn’t know what that is, from what I can tell it basically means he was suffering from an obvious mental health disorder in public, with their behaviour concerning enough that they’re a danger to themselves or to others, and police think they need immediate and urgent care.

What I know from here is pretty minimal. I’m not sure where he was taken to, but his mum said that he would be there for the day while they perform a mental health assessment (so I assume that’s what they’re doing today). She said that essentially he had been out in the streets yelling about things, she didn’t specify what, and intimidating other people on the street. He was throwing things around and generally just causing a lot of issue. Police got called because people thought that he was drunk. They established he wasn’t (not sure if that’s just from how he was acting, breathalyser etc? I honestly don’t really know how it works) and that’s all I know.

His mum and I again had a chat and we sort of assume that mental health / psychosis is likely right. The rejection of the proposal probably set him into a spiral of getting worse in the last few days, bringing us to where we are right now. I do feel pretty awful about that. I’m doing my best not to blame myself, but it’s hard not to feel like I caused it.

Either way, way, he is currently with police / mental health professionals etc likely being assessed.
I don’t know how the system works, so I’m not sure what will happen beyond this point. If someone with more knowledge wants to chime in, please do.

I’m hopeful though that this will mean Jordan will be able to get some help for whatever it is he is currently dealing with.
My hope is therefore I won’t *need* to update again, and this can end here.

I have yet to speak to the university about the situation just yet. Not really sure how to / if I should approach that, so I’m leaving it be for now.

This has been a whole lot of emotions, and I really appreciate the help of everyone on my last two posts.

Again, I won’t update again now unless something major happens, but I highly doubt I will learn much more.

Thanks again everyone, and thanks for following along. It’s been really reassuring to have this support and people with way more understanding than I have to help me.

AceClown posted:

quote:

I (21M) am in a friend group with 4 other guys. We planned to go at the end of this month on a 3 days guys' trip together, without any of our partners. All the other guys from my friend group are straight as far as I'm concerned and most of them have girlfriends currently. Well one of my friends, let's call him "Antonio" (22M) has a girlfriend, let's call her "Gina".

Well Gina wasn't happy to find out about this guys' trip she wasn't invited to and she found issue with me being invited on the trip over her, outright asking her boyfriend why was I was invited instead of her or any of the other guys' girlfriends. When everyone told her cause this is a guys' trip, she said that she doesn't find it fair that a gay guy is allowed to go alongside them but not any of the girls.

I was perplexed and asked her wtf did she meant by that and she said that I know exactly what. I said that I don't and asked her if she seriously thinks I'm gonna have sex with the other guys on the trip, but she just said that she didn't mean like that and she just didn't find it fair her boyfriend wouldn't invite her on this trip. Honestly I was completely done with her by that point and just got up and left the conversation.

Well apparently Gina and Antonio kept arguing over this issue and now Antonio's asking me if I would reconsider dropping out of our guys' trip cause me being there is causing issues in his relationship. I told him that he's being ridiculous to try to kick me out of this trip over his girlfriend's weird insecurity issues and thankfully all the other guys backed me up on this. Well now Antonio's saying that if I'm going then he might have to drop out of the trip instead cause according to him he has too much of a good thing going with Gina to risk losing it, which I found completely absurd, especially when the trip's location was a place he really wanted to see and absolutely nothing innapropriate was gonna happen on this trip.

AITA ?

ApplesandOranges posted:

AITA for wanting to go on a guys' trip as a gay man ?

mystes posted:

I can't decide if
1) Gina really thinks the OP is going to have sex with Antonio
2) Gina is just really homophobic and doesn't want Antonio to interact with the OP because of that
3) Gina just doesn't want Antonio to go at all and she's just latched on to this as an excuse (in which case what if the OP really just was like "oh okay fine I won't go"? But maybe she didn't actually think it through that far)

Crocobile posted:

Remember the one where the young woman’s friend proposed to her out of no where? It got an update:

[UPDATE] My (25F) best friend (24M) proposed to me. I’m confused and mortified. Where can we go from here? HOPEFULLY FINAL UPDATE

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I want this to have updates because I desperately want to know what the gently caress.

mystes posted:

I can't decide if
1) Gina really thinks the OP is going to have sex with Antonio
2) Gina is just really homophobic and doesn't want Antonio to interact with the OP because of that
3) Gina just doesn't want Antonio to go at all and she's just latched on to this as an excuse (in which case what if the OP really just was like "oh okay fine I won't go"? But maybe she didn't actually think it through that far)

cult_hero posted:

(4) Gina suspects Antonio leans that way and is afraid of competition.

Doc Hawkins posted:

5) me want thing, but not get, instead supporting character get. not fair! me mad! how help other people see not fair?

Vertigo Ambrosia posted:

I think it's close to #2: Gina is homophobic and thinks of gay men as not fully counting as men, so if a gay guy is there then it's not really men only, so why can't she go too?

Midnight Voyager posted:

This is the bet version of that lady who said she was mind controlled into an affair.

Biplane posted:

Legitmately shook I ended up sort of on the side of a hentai-and-feet guy

Biplane posted:

Legitmately shook I ended up sort of on the side of a hentai-and-feet guy

wheatpuppy posted:

AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation

wheatpuppy posted:

I told him my daughter was warned to stop but she decided to test me and now he’s forcing her to stick to the custody schedule (technically I have her every other weekend but he was letting her go back and forth whenever she wanted) and is threatening to go to court for child support and back pay.

Redditor posted:

Dear lord, please give me the confidence of a mediocre white man