- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A conspiracy theory that's based around H not being a real letter.
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#
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Apr 5, 2024 17:32
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 23, 2024 03:30
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- The Voice of Labor
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the b52 live crew
I'm like a freak in heat
a dog without warning
so hurry up and bring
your jukebox money
ain't nothin' but a rock lobster
not rock not rock rock lobster
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#
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Apr 6, 2024 00:17
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- The Voice of Labor
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samus aran getting turned down for a barista job at starbucks
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#
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Apr 6, 2024 02:33
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- The Voice of Labor
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on caladan it was air and sea power. on arrakis it's turtle power
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#
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Apr 6, 2024 22:07
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The Spice Girls in a death match against the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Let's see which "power" is the strongest.
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 09:58
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Sugar Lipps is the name of a man who eats lemons all day every day and even his husband won't kiss him because they're so astringent and bitter
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 10:01
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- calhoun
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I am the scary clown with the tearaway face
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...
calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Apr 10, 2024
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 11:01
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Two people talking at cross purposes. Like one of them is saying that Asuka is a tsundere and the other person thinks they're talking about Oscar the Grouch and is agreeing. "Yeah, totally they just want to be loved".
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 11:27
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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*meeting my neighbor as i'm throwing trash*
me, sighing: "people aren't throwing out as much trash as they used to."
neighbor: "it's the economy. people aren't buying as much as they used to."
me, sighing: "it's a shame."
*meeting my neighbour as I'm throwing out trash*
Me: *sighning* People aren't throwing up as much as they used to.
Neighbour: what the gently caress is wrong with you?
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 11:33
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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Can you tell me why it is that I've taken up your username as my main go to for protagonists in wonky stories for the byob jokes thread? Are you an avatar of byob? Or am I secretly thinking of this guy
because dang if he doesn't look the part.
He reminds of the guy who is always standing
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 18:07
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Pressing the cum button.
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 19:53
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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You know that Lorde track where the refrain is being tired of being told to throw her hands up in the air at concerts?
Now I'm imaging her doing a whole song about air sirens at raves.
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 22:10
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- Karate Bastard
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Throw your tomatoes up in the air, at tucker carlson.
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 22:17
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- Finger Prince
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The DJ modern Pentathlon
Event 1: How long can you play a house beat without adding an air raid siren or air horn (world record: 23 sec)
8.8 from the Russian judge on that bass drop. Surprising.
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#
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Apr 7, 2024 23:01
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- The Voice of Labor
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a fan fiction wherein elon musk teams up with dr. robotnic to save planet möbius from unionization
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 01:05
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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You know that Lorde track where the refrain is being tired of being told to throw her hands up in the air at concerts?
Now I'm imaging her doing a whole song about air sirens at raves.
I'm kinda over getting told to shelter underground, I've found
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 03:48
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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I'm kinda over getting told to shelter underground, I've found
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 04:20
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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A portable device the size of a pager whose sole function is to keep track of the crimes of celebrities.
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 18:40
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- Karate Bastard
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Why does it smell like cocaine in here??? and other fun things to shout as you enter the corporate shitter.
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 18:54
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Sorry about that, updog has developed a real drug problem.
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 19:38
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- calhoun
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I am the scary clown with the tearaway face
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...
calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Apr 10, 2024
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 19:44
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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'Cocaine is lame, kids' I say while *taking a big ol' line*. 'Do I look cool right now? Do I look cool to you?' *takes bump off a key* 'You see these movies, celebrities partying with hookers, popping champagne, dancing at exclusive clubs.' *snort* 'All I'm going to do after I leave is find embarassingly bad songs okay, not even amazing like with E, just okay. And I'm going to try to jerk it but fail. Most the time, that's what the celebrities are doing too.'
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Apr 8, 2024
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 19:47
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- Finger Prince
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Do you think production companies are cool? Does repackaging consumer debt debt into higher rated securities sound exciting? You see this suit? Ten thousand dollars. You know what's rad? Skateboarding. You know what isn't? A ten thousand dollar suit. Don't do drugs.
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 20:08
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Do you think production companies are cool? Does repackaging consumer debt debt into higher rated securities sound exciting? You see this suit? Ten thousand dollars. You know what's rad? Skateboarding. You know what isn't? A ten thousand dollar suit. Don't do drugs.
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 20:21
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- Karate Bastard
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Check out this line
*grinds down 4 sets of handrails, ollies off a business executive and casper slides his tesla*
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 20:23
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- The Voice of Labor
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*panning shot of an interior of a painfully modern apartment, clean with a huge t.v., plugged into that t.v. is a playstation 5 with no games. sitting on a couch is a sad looking man, controller in hand staring at a blank t.v.. presently his phone rings. it's work they need him to come in. it's o.k. he wasn't doing anything anyway*
*abrupt cut to a sunny afternoon in a park where a bunch of friends are hanging out, laughing, drinking beer, possibly playing softball or volleyball or hackeysack*
*narrator's voice comes on*
success, not even once
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#
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Apr 8, 2024 20:24
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Big celebrations for little things
Like you grab a carton of blueberries from the supermarket and they're one of those transcendentally delicious batch of blueberries. So you call everyone up and the whole neighbourhood celebrates your good fortune. There's some eating the blueberries with sweets of course, but also other food & drink and lawn darts and music
Not really a joke so much as something I wish were real life
e: Someone's kid passes a driving test or someone gets a raise at work? Automatic all-day barbeque that weekend with everyone from 10 blocks in any direction
Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 00:46 on Apr 9, 2024
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 00:42
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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An ad campaign with terrible advice disguised as good advice.
Like "When texting and driving, make sure to look up from your phone at least once every thirty seconds."
Or "Know your limit when drinking bleach."
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 04:50
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- The Voice of Labor
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a training montage. we see the athlete from the shoulders up. he cracks a raw egg in his mouth. he then pours a teaspoon of oil in his mouth. he then pours a box of brownie mix in his mouth. the camera pans down and we realize the athlete is training to get fat
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 05:02
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- RavenousScoot
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the most exclusive glory hole in town
one of their taglines: We Always Stand Up for the Little Guy
THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:
code:https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 12:34
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- calhoun
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I am the scary clown with the tearaway face
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...
calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 10, 2024
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 13:41
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- RavenousScoot
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we need a glory hole built for tall kings
a glory hole with two cans and a string between them for tallking
THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:
code:https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 13:44
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- calhoun
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I am the scary clown with the tearaway face
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...
calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Apr 10, 2024
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 14:54
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- calhoun
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I am the scary clown with the tearaway face
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...
calhoun fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Apr 10, 2024
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 15:15
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- RavenousScoot
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a living, talking, singing glory hole
the people on either side are still just people
THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:
code:https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 17:50
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 23, 2024 03:30
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- Finger Prince
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A hole at floor level that you stick your feet through and someone smashes them with a hammer. The agony hole.
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#
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Apr 9, 2024 18:18
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#
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Apr 5, 2024 17:32
