[i love cars] I don't need a Tesla to take big loads

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [i love cars] I don't need a Tesla to take big loads

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

cat botherer posted:

I always like the shots of dropping heavy objects from cranes into the bed and seeing the suspension get absolutely destroyed while the body panels somehow ripple

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IocCC1-jeTY

I'm the guy hoisting himself up the chainfall recreationally.

# ? Apr 8, 2024 20:17

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# ? May 26, 2024 20:46

khazar sansculotte: May 14, 2004

Can't believe Chevrolet is trying to force their corporate woke agenda on real america, everyone knows women and minorities don't drive trucks!!

# ? Apr 8, 2024 21:24

webcams for christ: Nov 2, 2005

protect our children

https://x.com/mateosfo/status/1777358738858606690

# ? Apr 9, 2024 09:27

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

webcams for christ posted:

protect our children

https://x.com/mateosfo/status/1777358738858606690

"Kids today are less fit than you were back then" is a loving dire headline lol

# ? Apr 9, 2024 11:44

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

i wonder if kids don't go outside because it's insanely dangerous to go outside

# ? Apr 9, 2024 11:45

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

webcams for christ posted:

protect our children

https://x.com/mateosfo/status/1777358738858606690

you need the giant SUV to haul all your camping poo poo to the climate-controlled, fully electrified yurt or cabin at the campground. yes they have wifi.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 11:46

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

badass wheelbarrow bike

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/02/27/172968900/in-many-families-exercise-is-by-appointment-only

quote:

"We basically mapped out where the schools are, where hospitals are, where places to shop are, and so we very conscientiously picked a neighborhood where we can walk to all these things," she says.

...

She and her husband used to work 70-hour weeks in the high-tech industry in California, but when their son was born they decided to simplify their lives and moved to Portland.

it's simple, if you want to live without a car in the US and not be in one of a few huge cities all you have to do it make a bunch of money working in tech and then move to Portland. anyone can do it.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 12:03

cat botherer: Jan 6, 2022; I am interested in most phases of data processing.

bake feets

# ? Apr 9, 2024 12:54

HashtagGirlboss: Jan 4, 2005

spacemang_spliff posted:

i wonder if kids don't go outside because it's insanely dangerous to go outside

It�s not really

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:10

webcams for christ: Nov 2, 2005

HashtagGirlboss posted:

It�s not really

depends. my bro-in-law and fam live on an insanely dangerous stroad (45 mph with regular speeding over 60) in Little Rock. their children don't play outside and cant walk anywhere safely, and neither can any other family in their neighborhood

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:16

Mothmansplainer: Apr 2, 2020

webcams for christ posted:

depends. my bro-in-law and fam live on an insanely dangerous stroad (45 mph with regular speeding over 60) in Little Rock. their children don't play outside and cant walk anywhere safely, and neither can any other family in their neighborhood

Sounds like hell and also like the vast majority of American suburbs

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:22

webcams for christ: Nov 2, 2005

thank god I simply moved to a safe, walkable neighborhood in europe where we don't need a car. if you're American and don't do this, you clearly don't value child safely

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:26

Ferdinand Bardamu: Apr 30, 2013

https://www.npr.org/2023/04/06/1167980495/americas-roads-are-more-dangerous-as-police-pull-over-fewer-drivers

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:34

khazar sansculotte: May 14, 2004

Ferdinand Bardamu posted:

https://www.npr.org/2023/04/06/1167980495/americas-roads-are-more-dangerous-as-police-pull-over-fewer-drivers

This is what happens when you defund the police, checkmate libtards :smugbert:

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:40

HashtagGirlboss: Jan 4, 2005

Mothmansplainer posted:

Sounds like hell and also like the vast majority of American suburbs

Rural sprawl development along highways without sidewalks and with narrow shoulders is real but it�s hardly the vast majority of where people live

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:43

webcams for christ: Nov 2, 2005

HashtagGirlboss posted:

Rural sprawl development along highways without sidewalks and with narrow shoulders is real but it�s hardly the vast majority of where people live

generally true but the street I was describing used to have a trolley line lmao

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:44

aw frig aw dang it: Jun 1, 2018

Correct. Most Americans simply build a tent in the middle of the road and live there. It allows us to feel closer to the cars we worship

# ? Apr 9, 2024 15:46

HashtagGirlboss: Jan 4, 2005

webcams for christ posted:

generally true but the street I was describing used to have a trolley line lmao

Sounds like your relatives have a real trolley problem on their hands

# ? Apr 9, 2024 16:01

Ham Equity: Apr 16, 2013; The first thing we do, let's kill all the cars.; Grimey Drawer

https://x.com/postoctobrist/status/1777662379880222773

# ? Apr 9, 2024 16:36

mawarannahr: May 21, 2019; Can't post for 7 hours!

What the gently caress, I'm never going to sleep again.
In Roald Dahl�s Car

www.nytimes.com - Fri, 20 Dec 2019 posted:

Then a car did stop, a comfortable, avuncular car smelling of leather and cigarette smoke. The driver was an older gent, and when he spoke, to ask me where I was going, he sounded avuncular, too. From what I could make out in the meager light, he was tall, balding and a little disheveled. I told him I was going to Aylesbury.

�Well, I live not far from here, so regretfully, I will only be able to take you part of your journey.�

I thanked him and got in, grateful to step into the comfort and security of this smoke and leather, if only for a short time.

�What takes you to Aylesbury?� he asked, as he put the car into gear.

I told him I was a reporter on the local paper, The Bucks Herald. I needed to get back for work the next day. My first task every Monday morning, as the most junior reporter on the paper, was to call on the town�s undertakers and compile a list of people who had died over the weekend. Then I had to phone or visit the next of kin. It was my job to populate the newspaper�s obituary column.

He chuckled. �Sounds grim,� he said.

�It�s not really,� I said. �Well, the undertakers are grim, but people are actually very happy to be approached for an obituary. And they�re good stories too. Obituaries celebrate whole lives. It would be hard not to find a couple hundred interesting words to write about someone�s whole life.�

�I can see that,� he said. �I also do a bit of writing.�

I�d had a feeling this was coming. In my experience of conversations with people who stopped to give me lifts, it was quite common to be told that they were also �writers.� Sometimes it would be a couple of articles in the parish magazine, or a half-finished novel in a bedroom drawer, or, more commonly, they would claim to have easily a book�s worth of fascinating ideas in their heads, just itching to become a best seller. This man had the look of a gentleman tinkerer, someone who might do a bit of scribbling in his spare time. �What sort of writing?� I asked.

�Oh, plays, film screenplays, some TV. Children�s novels seem to be taking up a lot of my time just lately. I suppose, though, that I�m best known for short stories. Stories with a macabre element � I�ve written quite a lot of them.�

His answer surprised me. I asked him his name.

�Roald Dahl,� he said.

It meant nothing to me. �I haven�t come across your work,� I said. �So � �a macabre element� � are these horror stories?�

�Not exactly,� he said, �though, unlike your jolly obituaries, they can be pretty horrible. They don�t always end well; there�s often a twist in the tail. Actually, I think I�m writing funny stories, because they can be very comical. There�s such a narrow line between the macabre and laughter.� I could sense him smiling as he said it.

�I�m fascinated by the macabre. And so, too, thankfully, are my readers. It�s one of those areas that perpetually interest people, especially if there�s a mystery attached as well. They�re all dying to know the ending of the story.

�Your obituaries all have endings. In fact, we know the ending even as we start to read them. But the best stories are those whose endings we have to guess at, until they are revealed.

�It�s true of nonfiction too,� he went on. �There�s a story like that, which took place in this area we�re driving through now, to do with an incident on this very road a couple of years ago. It has caused intense speculation among locals ever since. A middle-aged woman, a local doctor called Helen Davidson, drove to a lay-by just a little farther up this road and parked her car there to walk her dog. She didn�t return home that night.� He turned his head from the road, as though to savor my reaction.

�What happened?�

�She was found the next day, nearby, battered to death. Her dog was sitting beside her body. Someone had smashed her skull with a piece of a tree branch. She wasn�t sexually assaulted. She had no obvious enemies; in fact she was well liked. The first blow must have killed her, but her attacker continued to beat her frenziedly, crushing her eyes into her brain.�

�And then?� I said. �Did they catch the killer?�

�No, that�s just it. The police investigation led nowhere. They thought it might have been a local man, but they don�t know for sure and they still haven�t found him. They didn�t have a clue. The case is closed, but the story, as we know it, has no ending.�

He slowed the car. He was pulling up.

�And that�s the end of our conversation, I�m afraid. I have to turn off this road soon, you see, but I think it will be a good idea to drop you at this little lay-by here because it will be more convenient for cars to stop.�

The car came to a halt and he bade me a polite good night as I got out. Then he was gone. The car�s taillights grew smaller and disappeared round a bend in the road, leaving me in silence again, in the pitch black, at the scene of a murder, on a remote country road, alone but for a killer on the loose, and the dark imagination of Roald Dahl.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 17:35

Mr. Sharps: Jul 30, 2006; The only true law is that which leads to freedom. There is no other.

Ham Equity posted:

https://x.com/postoctobrist/status/1777662379880222773

do ppl really drive that much in florida that a fuel pump with over 100 spaces would be anything but a gross excess?

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:05

bedpan: Apr 23, 2008

Mr. Sharps posted:

do ppl really drive that much in florida that a fuel pump with over 100 spaces would be anything but a gross excess?

it is culture war stuff

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:06

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

bedpan posted:

it is culture war stuff

bikes are woke

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:11

HashtagGirlboss: Jan 4, 2005

Mr. Sharps posted:

do ppl really drive that much in florida that a fuel pump with over 100 spaces would be anything but a gross excess?

If it�s anything like the Buccees I went to one time then people tend to use the pumps as parking spaces while they spend an hour wandering around inside the grocery store sized convenience store

It�s hell, op

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:23

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

Mr. Sharps posted:

do ppl really drive that much in florida that a fuel pump with over 100 spaces would be anything but a gross excess?

It's diverting drivers from other gas stations. Buc-ees puts up billboards all along the interstate telling you how far you are from their stations, so people hold their bladders for miles to use the good bathrooms and buy the snacks.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:31

Nitrousoxide: May 30, 2011; do not buy a oneplus phone

Mr. Sharps posted:

do ppl really drive that much in florida that a fuel pump with over 100 spaces would be anything but a gross excess?

DeSantis just signed a law the other day making road diets more difficult to implement by making any government trying to implement them have to jump through a bunch of extra hoops where small amounts of local opposition can torpedo it or delay it indefinitely. It also banned any use of advertising on buses, explicitly in order to kneecap any funds being used for "diversity, equity and inclusion or other progressive ideology". Which honestly strikes me as a prior restrain on speech which should be blocked under the first amendment

https://www.planetizen.com/news/2024/04/128255-florida-law-targets-activist-road-diets

He's really a shithead. One of the most awful political leaders in the country.

I recently got offered a chance to move back to Florida for a job and I turned them down specifically because of the government down there.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:57

Mr. Sharps: Jul 30, 2006; The only true law is that which leads to freedom. There is no other.

I went to a buccees in Texas there were like twenty people there, tops. if you want to steal a poo poo ton of jerky, I advise a visit

# ? Apr 9, 2024 18:59

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

I�m excited when gas inevitably starts going to $10+ a gallon and just keeps climbing. death of the american hegemonic empire

# ? Apr 9, 2024 19:05

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004

webcams for christ posted:

thank god I simply moved to a safe, walkable neighborhood in europe where we don't need a car. if you're American and don't do this, you clearly don't value child safely

this is what the not just bikes guy literally believes

# ? Apr 9, 2024 19:11

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

spacemang_spliff posted:

bikes are woke

That's right

# ? Apr 9, 2024 19:11

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

Xaris posted:

I�m excited when gas inevitably starts going to $10+ a gallon and just keeps climbing. death of the american hegemonic empire

The US government will employ whatever subsidies necessary to prevent this from happening. As we just saw with the extended gas tax holidays, even a modest increase in gas prices is intolerable.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 19:18

HashtagGirlboss: Jan 4, 2005

Xaris posted:

I�m excited when gas inevitably starts going to $10+ a gallon and just keeps climbing. death of the american hegemonic empire

Sometimes I remember the gas station in Dues Ex and giggle, I believe the ruined gas station it�s from is supposed to be Southern California in 2040

# ? Apr 9, 2024 19:19

Precambrian Video Games: Aug 19, 2002

Jurassic Park was a documentary and the US government is herding dinosaurs into giant compactors to fill up the strategic petroleum reserve.

# ? Apr 9, 2024 20:33

Mauser: Dec 16, 2003; How did I even get here, son?!

Nitrousoxide posted:

DeSantis just signed a law the other day making road diets more difficult to implement by making any government trying to implement them have to jump through a bunch of extra hoops where small amounts of local opposition can torpedo it or delay it indefinitely. It also banned any use of advertising on buses, explicitly in order to kneecap any funds being used for "diversity, equity and inclusion or other progressive ideology". Which honestly strikes me as a prior restrain on speech which should be blocked under the first amendment

https://www.planetizen.com/news/2024/04/128255-florida-law-targets-activist-road-diets

He's really a shithead. One of the most awful political leaders in the country.

I recently got offered a chance to move back to Florida for a job and I turned them down specifically because of the government down there.

Who are these people that love driving so much? I just had to drive around a bit for the first time in forever while visiting family and it was so boring driving multiple hours. It felt like I was doing absolutely nothing, forced to stay awake and aware constantly, and each time I looked at the GPS after what felt like half an hour, in fact it had only been a couple of minutes. Oh and of course plenty of people threatening you with insane violence because of impatience and carelessness.

The separated bike lanes were all very nice though and I got to have some good rides to the beach and through the swamp.

# ? Apr 10, 2024 11:28

webcams for christ: Nov 2, 2005

Mauser posted:

Who are these people that love driving so much?

bedpan posted:

it is culture war stuff

# ? Apr 10, 2024 11:31

Mauser: Dec 16, 2003; How did I even get here, son?!

Well tell them to cut it out

# ? Apr 10, 2024 11:57

Exodus1984: Feb 18, 2005; Eastern Europe Episode IV: A New Hope. I love President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. I understand and appreciate the precarious position the Ukrainians are navigating. I wish I could set up a 401(UA) fund from my paycheck to directly contribute my earnings to Ukraine's success.

my bony fealty posted:

badass wheelbarrow bike

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/02/27/172968900/in-many-families-exercise-is-by-appointment-only

it's simple, if you want to live without a car in the US and not be in one of a few huge cities all you have to do it make a bunch of money working in tech and then move to Portland. anyone can do it.

Also, spend $6,000 on bikes.

# ? Apr 10, 2024 12:26

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003; Can't post for 4 hours!

Exodus1984 posted:

Also, spend $6,000 on bikes.

Even in that exaggerated instance you're looking at less than half of the yearly total cost of ownership for one (1) new car

It's funny that "spend $6k on bikes" sounds like incredible extravagance to most Americans but "a car for every member of the family over 16" doesn't.

# ? Apr 10, 2024 15:00

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

Can you finance a 6k bike at 17% APR for 72 months?

# ? Apr 10, 2024 15:06

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# ? May 26, 2024 20:46

zero knowledge: Apr 27, 2008

Mauser posted:

Who are these people that love driving so much? I just had to drive around a bit for the first time in forever while visiting family and it was so boring driving multiple hours. It felt like I was doing absolutely nothing, forced to stay awake and aware constantly, and each time I looked at the GPS after what felt like half an hour, in fact it had only been a couple of minutes. Oh and of course plenty of people threatening you with insane violence because of impatience and carelessness.

i don't drive [signaling virtue] but friends who do tell me that the weird thing about long distance driving is that once you do it enough, you lose track of the hours. like you'll get in the car, and then getting to the freeway is fiddly and requires paying attention, but once you're on the big road, you just settle into the cruising speed, zone out, and suddenly it's five hours later and you're 600 km down the road.

_that_ freaks me the gently caress out. hundreds, thousands of people are operating 2 ton vehicles at 100+ kph and are barely mentally present while they do so

# ? Apr 10, 2024 15:26

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