quote:

My mom recently passed away, and our family (primarily me) are making the arrangements for the upcoming funeral. My mom always had a really excellent sense of humor, and before she passed she told not only me but all of the palliative care staff at the hospital that the song she wanted played at her funeral was “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz. (I managed to at least talk her out of the soundtrack version sung by the Munchkins and got her to agree to the classier jazz version by Ella Fitzgerald.)

Now, I agree with my mom that this would be a really funny thing to play at a funeral and would showcase her sense of humor to a tee. However, I’m also VERY aware that not everyone that’s going to come to the funeral is going to take the joke in the same spirit, and I think that some of the more religious friends and family members might be extra upset because there’s a certain repeated line that implies she’s going to hell. Plus, we’re explicitly having a non-religious service and one of said family members has already expressed disappointment with that.

So on the one hand I think it’s my mom’s funeral and I should respect her wishes above anyone else’s opinions. But on the other hand I realize that funerals are for the living, and it’s pretty disrespectful to do something that’s going to upset those actually in attendance when obviously my mom isn’t going to know one way or the other.

WIBTA if I still play the song my mom picked? (If it matters my alternate choice would be Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, which was her favorite song and what we all listened to in the hospital together after she passed.)

quote:

Hi, everyone! I figured I'd come back and give you all an update on how things turned out with my mom's memorial service (original post here). I'm really grateful for everyone who convinced me that playing the song she chose was the right option.

So yes, I decided to go ahead and play the Ella Fitzgerald version of "Ding-Dong! The Witch is Dead" after incorporating the story behind it into my eulogy, which a few people suggested as the best way to bridge the gap between a serious occasion and a silly song. We poured a toast for everyone first and I told them we would raise a glass during the song, and then introduced it like this:

"I'm sure you all know my mother had a wicked sense of humor. And if you know where I'm going with this, you know why I said it that way. For as long as I can remember, she told me and everybody else that she wanted a certain song played at her funeral. Because she wanted everyone to laugh, not cry. And because she knew she wouldn't have to deal with it if anybody didn't get the joke. But I think you'll all get it. And despite the circumstances, I hope this will be another happy memory that we all associate with my mom."

And then I played the song, and people immediately started smiling and chuckling when they caught on to what it was. The couple of people I worried about not finding it funny seemed to take it well enough, they weren't giggling like everyone else but I think they were accepting of the song being what my mom wanted. And afterwards a few people told me that the song was perfect and that they could totally see my mom requesting that.

All in all, it was a very nice Celebration of Life and I'm happy with the way things turned out.

Midnight Voyager posted:

At least their children will resemble him no matter what

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Let me know if this has been posted…

My Spirit Otter posted:

no but they are a burden on tax-payer funded healthcare systems, because it turns out you are not healthy at any size

quote:

After years of trying, I found out having children would be impossible for me. I have a remarkable, fulfilling life otherwise and have come to accept this.

I just found out though that my sister had a baby and my family kept it from me thinking it would make me upset since I “cannot have kids”. I live a ways away and only get to see my family once every couple years when I fly in. Phone calls and messages seemed to dwindle the past year but I chalked it up to everyone just being busy with their own lives. My mother slipped up though by mentioning “the baby” on a call and after questioning what she meant, she hung up on me.

My nephew is now 3 months old and I had no idea. I was blocked on social media posts, ignored and lied to.

I was completely left out. I missed getting to experience it with her and rebuilding our relationship, missed out on her baby shower, on supporting her, and most importantly on meeting my nephew. All because my mother claimed she “thought it was best” because I would “probably be upset”.

Not being able to have children does not mean I do not understand the world will keep spinning and people around me will still be able to reproduce even though I cannot. I love babies. I love my sister. One thing that helped me through my own infertility was knowing someday I would get to be an aunt.

I feel so alone. I feel shunned by my own mother because she will not speak to me because she does not want to face the fact that this clearly was not right. She says I’m overreacting. My sister told me she wanted to tell me but my mom said it was best if she didn’t because it would hurt me and she did not want to hurt me. I asked what the plan was when I visited and she had no answer.

I feel stupid and I feel hurt that I was pushed out of an exciting family experience just because of my infertility. Like I’m an outsider due to something beyond my control.

Am I the rear end in a top hat for being upset about this?

Mordiceius posted:

Hey! There was an update to this!

UPDATE: AITAH for dumping my gf after moving in with her.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Let me know if this has been posted…
AITA for considering leaving my wife (32F) after her affair with my dad (48M) came to light, knowing that it would destroy my family’s dynamic?


So, here’s the situation. I (26M) recently found out that my wife (32F) of two years has been having an affair with my dad (48M) for about six months. This revelation came from my wife, who confessed out of guilt. My father also apologized for the affair. To complicate matters further, I discovered that my mom (49F) was aware of this affair and was oddly okay with it.

My wife has been incredibly apologetic since the confession and wants to continue our marriage, promising it was a mistake and that she wants to fix things. However, during our discussions, she admitted to enjoying the sexual relationship with my dad more than with me and mentioned that part of her love for me stems from the similarities she sees between me and my dad. This has left me feeling inadequate and betrayed on multiple levels.

I’m contemplating leaving my wife, but I’m aware this decision could completely dismantle the already strained relationships within my family. I’m conflicted because, despite the hurt, part of me still cares for her, but I also feel like staying could mean disrespecting myself. The whole situation is a mess, and I’m not sure if walking away makes me the rear end in a top hat here, considering the potential fallout.

Reddit posted:

This sounds like a hentai storyline lol.

Quackles posted:

WIBTA if I play the song that my mom chose for her funeral, knowing it might offend some attendees?

Has an update.

Kurieg posted:

AITAH for being upset that my family kept my sisters pregnancy a secret from me?

Well she's sure as hell upset now Mom!

Mordiceius posted:

Mordiceius posted:

mystes posted:

I think that the OP handled this in a very intelligent way by honoring their mother's wishes but explaining it first

How were they imagining this would go? Did they think that the OP would never notice that their sister had a kid? Were they going to hide the child from the OP for the rest of their life? lmao

Quackles posted:

WIBTA if I play the song that my mom chose for her funeral, knowing it might offend some attendees?

Has an update.

FMguru posted:

She landed a guy who wrote her from-the-heart love poetry, and decided to use that to humiliate him to her friends / get clicks on the 'gram.

Eh, it's fine. Dudes who do that are a dime a dozen, she'll have no problem getting someone like that in the future. She's certainly not going to end up dating a succession of dudes who are too busy playing video games or yelling at the Red Sox on the TV to bother with that mushy stuff.

LMAO, well done lady.

Kurieg posted:

AITAH for being upset that my family kept my sisters pregnancy a secret from me?

Well she's sure as hell upset now Mom!

quote:

No. If anything, she was relieved when I was promoted because she’s always been a bit jealous of how close my sister and I were compared to how close she and my sister were.

041024_4 posted:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

titty_baby_ posted:

Cucked by your own dad...Jesus christ

Hughlander posted:

Wow a day one poster that got probated within 60 seconds of posting. I’m super super interested

Zorak of Michigan posted:

When your mom is OK with your dad sleeping with your wife, it's too late. For everything. We're beyond sever here. This is "join the Foreign Legion under a fake name" territory.

Hughlander posted:

Got it. This is the only GBS thread I follow so didn’t know

Hughlander posted:

Got it. This is the only GBS thread I follow so didn’t know

Mordiceius posted:

Hey! There was an update to this!

redshirt posted:

Would you like to make a gently caress?
BERSERKER

Kurieg posted:

Insane rereg guy is the "many people do not like my posting" lawsuit guy. and I'm pretty sure this has been going on for longer than 6 months.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Yeah let's think about the loving weird mom who's jealous of the relationship her own kids have!

quote:

My wife (28F) and I (29M) got married last summer. She is currently 7-months pregnant with our first child. She had an appointment with her OB/GYN 2 weeks ago to address some complications with the pregnancy. The doctor wasn't overly concerned and confirmed that both my wife and the baby are healthy. But they did recommend her starting her maternity leave early and taking as much bed rest as possible.

A few days after that appointment, my best friend's (Bryan) fiance passed away in a car accident. Bryan and I have been friends since we were 3. We lived on the same street growing up. He was a groomsman in my wedding and he asked me to be one for him as well. Their wedding was supposed to be this summer.

Bryan and I live about an hour away from each other now so we don't see each other as often, usually only a few times a year on special occasions. But as soon as I got the news about his fiance I immediately drove to be with him.

I've been juggling helping Bryan with everything I can while also taking care of my wife and everything she needs. On top of all that I'm still working full time. I've driven to Bryan's house a few nights after work just to hang out with him and spent one night there last weekend to help him with some things. His fiance's funeral is scheduled for next week so I've been helping him with that as much as I can as well.

A couple nights ago I told my wife that I planned on driving down to Bryan's one night this week just to hang out and keep him company. This started an argument between us because my wife feels like I am prioritizing Bryan too much and neglecting her. She said that she needs me at home to help her because she doesn't want to go against doctor's orders and try to do too much. She told me that her and the baby need to be my #1 priority right now, not Bryan.

I told her that I am trying to juggle everything and I understand she needs my help but Bryan is at the lowest point in his life and I need to be there for him. She told me I don't "need" to be there for him, I am making a choice to be there for him instead of being at home taking care of her needs.

I told her I am just trying to get Bryan through the funeral and then I will make sure that I am more attentive to things at home. She told me that Bryan has other friends and family that can be there for him and that I'm spending too much time with him.

She said that the health of her and the baby should be more important to me than anything else right now, including Bryan, and that she needs me at home as much as possible. I told her she was being unreasonable and that I'm not going to abandon my best friend in his darkest days.

She's now giving me the silent treatment unless she needs something from me. If I try to talk with her she will make a comment about me talking to Bryan instead since he's more important to me. I understand she's stressed and hormonal, but she's never been this outright mean about anything. Am I wrong here?

redshirt posted:

Hey y'all. I know that none of you know me, such that I'd never ask for any specific funeral instructions. If you find my dead body please donate to science!

quote:

I (18F) have been bestfriends with this girl named Hailey (19F) ever since middle school. we've been so close and i always want the best for her, well recently she's been dating this guy i won't say his name but he's 26M and a chronic cheater. He's cheated on her with 4 different girls yet she still doesn't break up with him. i'm constantly telling her to cut ties and end it with this psycho but she always gives him another chance. Well last night was the last straw...

I got a snapchat from her boyfriend asking me "hey you up?" at like 1am. i replied back and said "yeah why?" then i poo poo you not this guy asked if he could come over to my apartment. I called him on snap to make sure i was reading this situation right, he picked up and told me he was feeling lonely and wanted to hang out with someone. I told him "Are you stupid? Call your girlfriend hailey" then he said the most outlandish poo poo, word-for-word he said "nahh i want something new tonight and i can tell with your lips you'd give some nice head".... i paused analyzing what the hell he just said to me. Keep in mind he knows im bestfriends with hailey and also knows i don't like him because of his past. At this point i didn't have any words to say other than call him an rear end in a top hat and hang up the phone. Here's where i may have went too far.

Out of anger i found his mom on facebook and stirred up a huge message exposing everything he's done to ruin hailey's mental health, I also pointed out the fact that he's been caught hitting on 17 year olds. I won't recite the whole message because it would take like 10 mins to read, but i thought of everything i could say about this guy to ruin his relationship with his mom. I genuinely hate him and want to see him suffer.

The next day when i woke up i saw a bunch of missed calls from him and hailey, before i called them back i checked facebook and saw that his mom accepted my chat request but never responded. So she clearly read it. i called hailey first and she told me that he called her crying his eyes out. Then he called me while i was on the phone with hailey so i told her i'd answer and call her back to see what he says.

When i picked up he was still crying and couldn't stop apologizing to me saying he felt so bad for what he did, i had no remorse and really didn't care how upset he was. He then asked me to send another message to his mom and say the 17yr old thing was a lie (which is wasn't) because that caused her to revoke the money she was paying him for school. I'll be honest i started laughing when he said this because it's exactly what he deserves. I said "You should have thought this through before asking your girlfriend's bestfriend to give you head" his excuse was "you have nice lips and it was a joke! can you relax?", at this point i wasn't believing a word he said and figured it was all to cover his sorry rear end. I don't feel bad at all and finally Hailey ended things with him, but she did say I might have taken it too far and ruined his life.

FMguru posted:

Age-gap creep faces righteous mom anger.

AITAH for exposing my bestfriend's boyfriend to his own mom because he's a chronic cheater? And now his family hates him

"I genuinely hate him and want him to suffer" - OP was not playing around (and good for her).

Pope Hilarius II posted:

At work I avoid sitting in the landscape office

Call Your Grandma posted:

uh what?