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idiotsavant
Jun 4, 2000

FMguru posted:

Cake-eating, but not the r\cakeeater kind:

AITA for refusing to apologize to my friend after she ate my birthday cake?

The mental image of Carly just angrily going to town on that boxed-up cake when no one was looking to get back at OP, and then somehow trying to turn that into a reason for OP to apologize to her, is sending me.

Party sub guy has finally found his dream woman

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Shanghaied
Oct 12, 2004

BIG PAD
AITA for ignoring my husband during our flight when he expressed anxiety over flying?

quote:

I [33F] recently married my husband [30M] and we took a 3 hour flight to Mexico for our honeymoon.

I fly a lot for my job, so I have racked up a lot of miles. My husband isn’t a big fan of flying, though he has gotten better and tends to just hold my hand and close his eyes during take off and landing (mostly okay when in the air).

When I booked our flights I requested to use my points if an upgrade to business class became available, but made it clear I only wanted this upgrade if two seats became available and then basically forgot about it.

Then comes the day of our flight. I was so excited for this trip, I checked us in online, all is going well, and then when we go to board the person scanning out boarding passes stops us. She says it seems that my husband was upgraded to business class, but ONLY him and asks if that is okay. I immediately say no, we are on our honeymoon and would like to stay together. But then my husband jumps in and says, “No it’s fine, I’ll go to business class!” I look at him in complete shock and he tells me that I fly all the time and have been in business class before, but he hasn’t. So he deserves a chance to experience it.

I see we are holding up the line, so I feel like I just need to agree and get on the plane. To say I am pissed off is an understatement. He is all smiles, taking his seat and I go back to my seat where they sit me next to an old woman with a baby on her lap where my husband should be sitting.

Within maybe 5-10 minutes of sitting there, trying to hold back tears because my husband left me alone on our flight during our honeymoon (and uses MY points for his upgrade no less), he starts to text me saying he feels anxiety over flying. I ignore the texts and stop looking at my phone.

Within maybe an hour after we are in the air, he comes to the back of the plane to find me, offers me half of his business class breakfast and asks me why I was ignoring him - that he was scared and needed me to tell him it’d be okay since I am such an experienced flyer. I told him maybe he should have thought about that before leaving me alone before our honeymoon even really began. He gets angry, tells me that this may be the only time he gets to fly business class and he was giving me half his breakfast to make up for it so I could at least be supportive of his genuine fear. I roll my eyes, sarcastically say “thanks” and he goes back up to his seat.

When we landed I tried to just move on and forget about it so that we could just enjoy our honeymoon, but he guilt tripped me about not comforting him via text before take off and now I am wondering if I am being unreasonable and should have just let him enjoy his time in business class and ensure him it’d be okay. So AITA?

Fil5000
Jun 23, 2003

HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for ignoring my husband during our flight when he expressed anxiety over flying?

Throw the whole man away and start again.

8one6
May 20, 2012

When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Shanghaied posted:

AITA for ignoring my husband during our flight when he expressed anxiety over flying?

I'm surprised the airline separated the child from his guardian.

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

I can say that not having paper menus in restaurants is a pain in the neck if they don't have wifi and you're visiting from another country so getting your phone out and turning on data means paying $TEXAS in roaming charges. I assume Disney has the wifi, though.

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


This is like when my kid yells at his mom to get out and then when she leaves the room he yells no come back!

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

I went to a restaurant without menues once and they told me to get up and scan a QR code by the door. I don't have a QR code reader so I just left.

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
I have a rant about QR code menus that will make you beg for death bc IMO they're another way to quietly filter by class. If your menu can only be viewed by people with cell phones, it means no one without that level of technological access will be able eat at your establishment.

But it's not the just-scrapin-by employees' faults that their bosses have implemented terrible policies and yelling at the workers just makes you come off like this:

https://youtu.be/wjnLYuezGm0

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Apr 18, 2024

mystes
May 31, 2006

StrangersInTheNight posted:

I have a rant about QR code menus that will make you beg for death bc IMO they're another way to quietly filter by class. If your menu can only be viewed by people with cell phones, it means no one without that level of technological access will be able eat at your establishment.
I'm having trouble believing that requiring cellphones is much of a class filter in 2024.

Nebrilos
Oct 9, 2012

edgeman83 posted:

My favorite part of all of this is how in the comments they say how they themselves can't eat an entire bowlful and it took a while to build up a tolerance for more than a single spoonful. The whole thing seems really intentional.

Anything to get the taste out of their mouths, I guess

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

John Wick of Dogs posted:

This is like when my kid yells at his mom to get out and then when she leaves the room he yells no come back!

Did you mean to type cat?

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
AITA for walking out of my girlfriend's birthday party after she called me a "cheapscate" for the gift I gave her?

quote:

My girlfriend (26F) recently celebrated her birthday, and I (28M) wanted to make it special. I spent a lot of time thinking about what to get her and decided on a personalized photo album with pictures of our time together over the last few years. I also wrote her a heartfelt letter expressing my love for her and detailing how much she means to me.

When it came time for her to open the gift, she did so in front of our friends and family at her party. I could tell she was underwhelmed, and she even made a face. Then she said, "Wow, this is it? You're such a cheapscate!" in front of everyone. I was stunned and embarrassed. People laughed awkwardly, and I could see she was expecting something more expensive.

I was hurt by her reaction, especially since I put so much thought and effort into the gift. After a few minutes, I quietly excused myself and left the party. I didn't want to cause a scene, but I couldn't shake the feeling of humiliation.

My girlfriend later called me and said I overreacted by leaving the party and that it was all in good fun. She also accused me of not putting in any effort since the gift was not expensive. I told her I felt disrespected and that my feelings were hurt.

Now I'm questioning whether I was wrong to leave the party. AITA for walking out of my girlfriend's birthday party after she called me a "cheapscate" for the gift I gave her?

yikes

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

mystes posted:

I'm having trouble believing that requiring cellphones is much of a class filter in 2024.

Cell phones, yes, smart phones, no. There's still a decent percentage of the population without those.

QR menus basically do double duty in that they ensure that a houseless person can't just walk up and order from the menu. If the restaurant has gone full digital and requires app payment, then that also means such a person can't pay with cash on-hand.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Apr 18, 2024

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITA for walking out of my girlfriend's birthday party after she called me a "cheapscate" for the gift I gave her?

yikes
Calling back and saying it was "all in good fun" was her doing damage control after her friends gave her the business after OP walked out, right?

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Cell phones, yes, smart phones, no. There's still a decent percentage of the population without those.

https://www.consumeraffairs.com/cell_phones/how-many-americans-own-a-smartphone.html

only 92% of americans have one

mystes
May 31, 2006

There are still some people who don't own smartphones, but I don't think the difference is by class; it's by age. If you think the intent is to prevent elderly people from using the restaurant then maybe you have a point, but saying it's filtering by class makes no sense.

Essentially everyone under the age of 50 has a smartphone but a significant percentage of people over 50 don't.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/489255/percentage-of-us-smartphone-owners-by-age-group/

This is not suprising because once you consider deprecation of older cellular standards resulting in people being forced to upgrade, you have to actively go out of your way to have a non-smartphone cellphone now, and they are typically not any cheaper (they are now a niche product that exists only for older people who don't know how to use smartphones), so it's not really a "class" thing.

mystes fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Apr 18, 2024

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


Big Bowie Bonanza posted:

AITA for walking out of my girlfriend's birthday party after she called me a "cheapscate" for the gift I gave her?

yikes

That's a pretty narcissistic birthday present tbh. "Here's a picture book full of the most important thing in your life, your experiences with your favorite president(ME!!!)"

That's a nice gift in other contexts, like to go along with an anniversary or Valentine's it just because, but not a good standalone gift

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
i don't know if it's on the level of full blown narcissism but i do agree there's better occasions on which to give a gift like that

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Yeah, that's a full 8% of the population, or roughly 27 million American people who would be unable to use restaurants if they all went QR code

It's taking aim at the lowest class of Americans and saying you can't even afford to live in our culture anymore, you should not be allowed to even eat with us, get hosed, and that's some messed up poo poo.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Apr 18, 2024

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


I said pretty narcissistic, I meant to say "a little" narcissistic. Not a lot.

Sex Farm
Nov 17, 2017

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Yeah, that's a full 8% of the population, or roughly 27 million American people who would be unable to use restaurants if they all went QR code

But they're not all QR code only and the vast majority of restaurants that have QR code menus have regular menus as well, or at least a menu visible at the front. There is not a grand conspiracy to keep homeless people from eating in restaurants via QR codes

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007

Sex Farm posted:

But they're not all QR code only and the vast majority of restaurants that have QR code menus have regular menus as well, or at least a menu visible at the front. There is not a grand conspiracy to keep homeless people from eating in restaurants via QR codes

Yeah this, a lot of the restaurants in my area have QR code stuff but they all have physical menus if you ask for them.

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
Of course not, I didn't say they all were, just that that's how many people would be unable to use restaurants should they go QR only, because people massively underestimate how many people still don't have smart phones in the US.

And no it's not a grand conspiracy in that everyone is saying tee-hee we want to exclude the houseless, it's more of the same sort of group blind spot happening right here and right now where someone wants to argue QR codes aren't an access issue/won't become one in the near future because they don't realize how many people still don't have the same level of tech access they do.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Apr 18, 2024

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010

mystes posted:

I'm having trouble believing that requiring cellphones is much of a class filter in 2024.

Ok but 1. Your cellphone has to be a smartphone 2. It has to have battery left 3. The camera must not be broken 4. You have to be tech-literate enough to do the loving QR thing

All these things together make QR-code based restaurant pretty dang impractical. And for example I dont have a qr-code reader app installed on my phone, and I guess Im a boomer but if a restaurant or a store requires me to install a new app to proceed, Im probably going to hit da bricks

Shanghaied
Oct 12, 2004

BIG PAD
Y'all should come to Sweden, where even homeless people have signs with QR codes for cashless payment.

mystes
May 31, 2006

The Alchemist posted:

I dont have a qr-code reader app installed on my phone
Yes you do


I can't find current numbers but a study from 2017 found that 94% of homeless people owned cellphones and more than half owned smartphones.

I would imagine that most now have smartphones because, again, thanks to older cellular technologies being deprecated, you now have to actively go out of your way to find a non-smartphone that still works

Again, requiring QR codes would absolutely filter out elderly people, it just wouldn't make sense as a way to intentionally filter out people by class as the original comment was implying.

mystes fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Apr 18, 2024

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for leaving my boyfriend at the airport after he “pranked” the TSA with a dildo?

Glenn Milstead (stage name Divine) used to smuggle drugs through the airport by putting them directly under the anatomically accurate "prosthetics" he wore for shows and movies. Anyone searching his luggage would open the suitcase, see the prosthetics, and slam the top closed immediately.


From AAM: our employee retired … but now she won’t leave

quote:

Our employee, “Fiona,” decided to semi-retire after 20 years of working with us. She asked to reduce her hours and work mostly from home, which was approved. Since the start of her official semi-retirement date, however, she still comes to work almost full-time. Fiona hasn’t asked to go back to her full-time salary and would likely decline even if this was offered. She said she hates being at home and prefers to come into the office. I think she’s working at a slow pace and tending to non-urgent tasks.

The issue is that we’ve hired Sally – with Fiona’s blessing – to replace her. While Sally hasn’t said anything, I would feel weird about taking over a role of someone who’s supposed to go on semi retirement but is still coming to work every day. Is this situation potentially problematic or should we leave Fiona to do what she wants?

quote:

Yeah, it’s definitely a problem!

First and foremost: potential legal issues. If Fiona’s work responsibilities or pay mean that she’s non-exempt, you’re required to pay her for all hours she works, whether you asked her to work those hours or not, plus overtime if she ever works more than 40 hours in a week. And even if Fiona’s pre-retirement job qualified as exempt, keep in mind that her new, reduced salary might put her below the salary threshold for exemption. (If she’s earning less than $35,568/year, she’s non-exempt, no matter what her job duties are. Interestingly, the law doesn’t prorate that for part-time employees.) You’d also need to make sure she’s earning at least minimum wage when you divide her current pay by the hours she’s actually working, not the hours she’s been assigned. And you might be legally required to offer her health care and other benefits, depending on how many hours a week she’s showing up.

But there’s also Sally! Most people in Sally’s shoes would be uneasy at being hired to replace someone if that person then continues to stick around and not leave. Sally might be wondering whether you’re going to end up deciding you don’t need her after all. She might worry she can’t take full ownership over her work with Fiona hanging around. Are their responsibilities clearly divided, and is Fiona respecting that division or blurring the lines? Is Sally comfortable changing processes or ways of doing things with Fiona hovering?

For a glimpse into how Sally might be feeling, see these letters from people in similar shoes:

the person who used to do my job won’t go away

the guy who did my job before me won’t go away

I was hired to run a department — but the old boss is still there, 10 months later

our CEO won’t let go of a retired employee

And who is managing Fiona now? Does that person have a clear idea of everything she’s working on? (It sounds like maybe not.) They need to!

It sounds like Fiona is having a hard time adjusting to semi-retirement. But she can’t really announce she’s only working X hours a week, let you make plans to replace her, and then continue showing up nearly full-time. At a minimum you can’t let her work off the clock if she’s non-exempt … but you also really need to look at how this is all affecting Sally.

As a next step, sit down with Fiona and name what’s happening: “We’d planned for you to be working X hours a week, and since we’ve hired Sally to replace you, it’s important that we give her space to do the job we hired her for. We’re thrilled to have you for the X hours a week we agreed on, but we need to stick to that to keep the work divisions clear for everyone, and to ensure the company is meeting our legal obligations on pay and benefits.”

Update:

quote:

To summarize what happened after my letter was published:

1. Boss reminded Fiona to work part-time only.
2. Fiona complied reluctantly, blaming Sally (her replacement) for this arrangement.
3. Fiona gradually increased her own working hours back to full-time. When asking other coworkers for their work failed, she made extra tasks like creating unnecessary reports or copying documents by hand writing instead of printing.
4. Even though Sally officially took over Fiona’s role, Fiona continued to monitor and criticize Sally’s work. She refused to hand over certain jobs to Sally and insisted on doing these herself.
5. Boss eventually let Fiona go. She received a month’s notice and a large retirement package.
6. Fiona tried to continue to work after her employment formally ended. She monitored shared files remotely, emailed clients, asked another employee to submit his work for her to “check,” and requested updated passwords on sensitive documents.
7. When her access was promptly cut off, Fiona contacted me privately to say she was upset at this disrespectful treatment of her, Sally’s supposed incompetence and rudeness, and being let go when she wanted to keep working full-time. I wished her well and otherwise didn’t respond to her long rant.
8. I directed our team strictly not to engage with her over any work-related issues.

I do wonder if Fiona will reflect on her own behavior after time passes and realize she was the main contributor to the problem. She could have continued to work part-time as initially agreed if not for all these issues.

This was a bizarre experience. Sally, however, is doing great.

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010

mystes posted:

Yes you do

Thats it Im going to Wendy's, and you bet Im going to tell the cashier all about this poo poo

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


The Alchemist posted:

Ok but 1. Your cellphone has to be a smartphone 2. It has to have battery left 3. The camera must not be broken 4. You have to be tech-literate enough to do the loving QR thing

All these things together make QR-code based restaurant pretty dang impractical. And for example I dont have a qr-code reader app installed on my phone, and I guess Im a boomer but if a restaurant or a store requires me to install a new app to proceed, Im probably going to hit da bricks

You don't need a QR app, you just point your camera in the camera app and the link will appear on your screen. On any Android I've used in the last four years anyway, I don't know about iOS

Sex Farm
Nov 17, 2017

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Of course not, I didn't say they all were, just that that's how many people would be unable to use restaurants should they go QR only, because people massively underestimate how many people still don't have smart phones in the US.

And no it's not a grand conspiracy in that everyone is saying tee-hee we want to exclude the houseless, it's more of the same sort of group blind spot happening right here and right now where someone wants to argue QR codes aren't an access issue/won't become one in the near future because they don't realize how many people still don't have the same level of tech access they do.


Yeah but you're describing something that isn't happening on an even slightly widespread level so I'm not sure what your point is, just the possibility of that happening would be bad? In which case yeah I agree

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010

John Wick of Dogs posted:

You don't need a QR app, you just point your camera in the camera app and the link will appear on your screen. On any Android I've used in the last four years anyway, I don't know about iOS

Which brings me to the point number 4 in my previous post.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy

John Wick of Dogs posted:

You don't need a QR app, you just point your camera in the camera app and the link will appear on your screen. On any Android I've used in the last four years anyway, I don't know about iOS

works the same way on ios

house of the dad
Jul 4, 2005

The Alchemist posted:

Which brings me to the point number 4 in my previous post.

I think there's something to be said for acceptable minimum expectations. Like is it unfair that many restaurant menus have English words on them you have to read instead of just pictures of all the food that you can point to while grunting in a positive or negative way

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
it costs $30 vs $20 at walmart to get a tracphone that can use qr codes instead of a dumb phone i think we will all be ok

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Sex Farm posted:

Yeah but you're describing something that isn't happening on an even slightly widespread level so I'm not sure what your point is, just the possibility of that happening would be bad? In which case yeah I agree

My initial post was how QR codes ultimately become a class filter because not everyone has access to that level of technology. I did not say it was happening everywhere, although eventually it likely will.

it's not an issue for you, that doesn't mean it isn't a serious issue for the large amount of people it affects. just like needing a car to live in the US is a prerequisite that causes trouble and class divides, soon everyone will simply need a smartphone to be considered a valid part of society, and our view will be that anyone who falls outside of that standard is unimportant to the conversation. it's already happening now, in this very discussion.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Apr 18, 2024

Shanghaied
Oct 12, 2004

BIG PAD

The Alchemist posted:

Which brings me to the point number 4 in my previous post.

I mean I don't know, I think it's fine to demand a certain level of tech literacy from people for living in society, not that I necessarily think that level is smartphones.

When I worked in a hardware store, I regularly met people who don't know the difference between AA and AAA batteries, a tech standard that was more a century old at that point. A colleague bought a house close to a nuclear power plant recently, and all the residents in that area get a free emergency radio so they can listen to emergency broadcasts in case something goes down at the power plant. Like yeah, you're hosed if you can't work a radio.

idiotsavant
Jun 4, 2000
lol it doesnt affect a large amount of people, it potentially affects 8% of the US population, many of whom don't own a cellphone out of choice let alone eat at QR code restaurants in the scary city. this isnt a class issue anymore, this isn't really a thing anymore. And when Meemaw and Peepaw finally come out of the holler to buy a sandwich I'm sure someone will be able to help them

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

My initial post was how QR codes ultimately become a class filter because not everyone has access to that level of technology. I did not say it was happening everywhere, although eventually it likely will.

it's not an issue for you, that doesn't mean it isn't a serious issue for the large amount of people it affects. just like needing a car to live in the US is a prerequisite that causes trouble and class divides, soon everyone will simply need a smartphone to be considered a valid part of society, and our view will be that anyone who falls outside of that standard is unimportant to the conversation. it's already happening now, in this very discussion.

So the part where like, nearly everyone has a smartphone already and that the smart vs dumbphone divide is mostly along age lines and not class lines just kinda glanced off you?

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
i used to live in the absolute poorest part of phoenix arizona and even undocumented immigrants who couldn't even get a job that didn't pay them cents on the dollar had a smartphone so they could use whatsapp to talk to family back in mexico. it isn't the people strangers thinks it is.

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Squashing Machine
Jul 5, 2005

I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka
QR code menus suck in a kind of Andy Rooney way but saying that they're any kind of significant class barrier to eating out in comparison to skyrocketing restaurant prices is a lol

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