r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

After some thinking, Ive decided to name my new Siamese Fighting fish Eclipse (I currently lack the funds for a proper aquarium with heater+filter and keeping them in bowls is frowned upon but im currently working on some sort of temporary home. Would like some assistance.

I need help.

quote:

hey mates! Its me again. Update on Eclipse. Good news and bad news. Good news is "makeshift" tank is doing well and he seems fine for the moment. Bad news is that my aunt is trying to get rid of it. She thinks that (exact words btw) "oh, its just one of those fish meant to be in a tiny bowl, its only gonna last a few months anyway". "why the hell does it need a 5 gallon tank and a heater?" "Thats raising my water bill". Its annoying cuz she sees it as "oh im just a kid" and "ive been on this earth longer, so I'm smarter than you." Its already hard enough to keep Eclipse alive until his aquarium gets here(which should be later on today) and now I have my aunt attempting to literally kill him. I already tried explaining it to her normally. Please help me save him. How do I convince her that Eclipse needs what he needs?

Its not fair.

quote:

Im so pissed right now. My girlfriend was so generous enough to give me her old 30 gallon aquarium along with everything I needed (thank god for her) for Eclipse. I left 2 hours early from school to move him into his new home.... only to come home to find that my aunt took it upon herself to dismantle the makeshift tank that I had for it. The sponge filter. Air Pump. Coffee Mug. Heater everything gone. Just his lifeless body sitting in the giant plastic storage bin full of freezing water laying in the middle of my loving bedroom floor. And when I confronted her about it, she simply said "I told you you didnt need all that poo poo" + "thats what fish do. They swim and die." Why cant people just release that these fish actually matter to people? I 'm so livid right now, literally on the verge of tears. Im afraid of buying another one because I dont want the same thing to happen twice. I couldnt even get to experience of having a healthy fish. Its not fair. I cant never win. Rest in peace Eclipse, who lasted as long as its namesake.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom.

quote:

So to keep it simple, yesterday, I got a Siamese Fighting Fish (or known as a betta fish) named Eclipse (due to obvious reasons) I unfortunately didnt have a proper aquarium for it. So I made one out of a large storage container from Home Depot (Plastic), a coffee mug, sponge filter+ air pump and a lil bit of sand. Wasnt perfect, but it would do until then. So my aunt complains earlier this morning that "why you got this big rear end container for this small rear end fish" and "it dont need all that poo poo." (for those who dont know, betta fish need at least a 5 gallon tank) so i tried explaining to her that this isnt one of those "carnival goldfish" and needs certain criteria to thrive. And...that didnt work.

Anyway, I leave off of school. I get a call from my girlfriend (god I loving love her) that i can have her old 30 gallon aquarium + filter and heater. I leave 2 hours early from school to put Eclipse in his new home..... only to find that she took upon her self to dismantle my makeshift fish tank piece by piece, leaving Eclipse dead in a tupperware bowl filled with freezing cold water in the middle of my bedroom floor. When I confronted her she said "I told you her dont need all that poo poo" and "thats what fish do". they swim and die.

Bet.

So once she left to run errands, I went into the living room and grabbed her picture of her deceased grandfather. (the only thing she has left related to him) and i dismantled the frame, bit by bit. And when she comes back home, where she's gonna find the picture? At the bottom of the bowl, torn in shreds, in freezing cold water, in the middle of her bedroom floor.

Sure, it might be a fish. But it was MY fish. MY money. MY joy. literally murdered in cold blood. Welp tonight she's gonna learn just how little things can make a big difference. Swim in peace Eclipse, who lasted as long as her namesake.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom: UPDATE

quote:

Now, what you've all been waiting for. The Update.

So, about 2 hours after posting the OG, she got home and saw the carnage of my actions. And I never heard such a shrill scream in my life. And whats make it worse is that I couldnt help but.....smile.

You see, this isnt the first time she's disregarded something of mine. (This will be the last though) What makes this different is that its a living animal involved. She ridiculed my girlfriend in public. She's took $100 my cousin got for me for my BDay and "held on to it ( that was a year and half ago). She's misplaced a scrapbook full of letters from my mother during her stay at the nursing home. (she passed away in 2019.) And none of those incidents got responses from me. At the time, i thought everything was happening for a reason. But this was the last time I was gonna sit there and do poo poo about it.

You see, I've something about people. The only language that everyone TRULY knows and understands is violence.

Anyway, she started crying .(Cried so much, she could fill her own drat aquarium.) Once she got done bawling her eyes out, she stormed into my room and questioned me about it. I simply told her "doesnt feel good does it?" To have your poo poo disregarded?" I bet it doesnt. Besides, didnt your grandpa hate you because you refused to look after his grandson?" He never wanted to see you again. That includes beyond the grave." She then proceeded to threatened to have me arrested for destruction for property. I argued that I could do the same for Animal cruelty/abuse.

After a hour or so of this. She finally said that "one day you gonna learn to stop touching people's poo poo." and proceeded to leave the room. I responded "And you learned that lesson today

Was that disrespectful? Oh for sure. You can call me a monster. An rear end in a top hat. A demon. A piece of poo poo. All the above for all I care. None of that stopped me from having something I havent had in awhile. A good night's sleep.

(Now some people were saying that the fish was good as dead anyway. And yes, I bought the fish not knowing what it needed. So I went to my friends over at r/bettafish and they gave me the idea of a makeshift tank. (And yes, everything was perfectly safe for Eclipse.) The plastic storage bin was cleaned and rinsed and filled with room temp. water along with the water conditioner. It had the coffee mug to hide in. It had the sponge and air pump as the filter. It had a small heater next to it. (not too close, didnt want to melt a whole in it.) It even had some sand in it. Sure it wasnt the best thing. But I can assure you, if she didnt touch that tank, it` ll still be alive today.

You can also argue that I only had it for a day. Why does that matter? If you had a puppy for a day, and your loved one took away everything it needed and left it outside, how would you feel? (Some people would say they arent the same thing, but it is. They're living beings. Creatures that could have lasted years. Things that people love. Things that people care for.

If that makes me a psychopath, then lock me the gently caress up because Im sick of people disregarding my belongings.

Swim in Peace Eclipse

(P.S I think I need to point out that My aunt doesnt own the house, my uncle does. And he already told me Im not going anywhere. So I dont need to worry about that.

You broke my fish tank? We all sink to the bottom: THE LAST UPDATE

quote:

Hey mates! Its me, the psycho-fish guy again! Hopefully this is the last time I have to post things here because im honestly sick of all of this to be honest.

So anyway, a couple of things has happened since the last post. For one, I told my girlfriend what ive done, and she (like of lot of you) wasnt very impressed. She said it was neccasary to put my foot down, but destroying what of all that was left of her grandfather didnt make me any better than her. And allthough I wasnt concerned about being the better person, now that I had the time to process the whole thing.. She has a point.

Sure; her grandfather was an absolute slob of a human being that spent most of his life in prison (sexual harrassment) and honestly hated her existence. But that was HER ancestor, not mine. And who knows what memories they could of had when I wasnt on this earth.(Prob not much but I guess its nothing wrong with loving a monster.) Plus, there were SEVERAL alternatives of revenge I could have done. I could have replaced her picture with one of Eclipse and hid the other one. I could just destroyed the frame to cause miminal damage. I could of even made a photo copy of it and tore that to give her a little scare, but not leave any permanent scars.

But I didnt. And the fact that destroying essentially her family relic was the FIRST thought I had and I didnt even reconsider it for a single second, or even feel bad when hearing her in straight anguish actually has me concerned. So that's why Ive talked to my uncle about getting into therapy of some sorts. I dont want to end up the same person as my aunt. And since we are on the topic of my aunt...

She's gone.

Just about a hour and a half ago, I got a call from my uncle. He told me that "For my (and his) safety, she is no longer welcome at this home. And by the time I get home today, her and all her belongings will be out of the house. (Kinda of ironic isnt it?) I dont know if they got into an arguement. Or if he found out about something. Or maybe he's been trying to find an excuse to do this for awhile. (P.S They are NOT married, so its not gonna be a divorce.) And to put it frankly, I dont know how to feel.

I feel like poo poo because I know this is all my fault. Maybe if I didnt get so angry and be a better person, this wouldnt of happened. But at the same time, maybe this is the start of a new beginning.
Maybe I can spend the last of my childhood in peace and not have to worry about privacy or boundaries. And as for my aunt, part of me hopes she gets hit by a bus and becomes left to rot. But another part of me geniunely wishes the best for her. After all, she wasnt always a bad person. We actually had some great moments in life. Hopefully she can reunite with her family and find some other item of her grandfather's. ( I doubt it but its always nice to have faith.)

At the end of the day, I think this honestly the best way this could have ended. No one got hurt. No one is in trouble with the law. And no one is homeless (That last one is a bit iffy but I doubt my uncle would put her out if she didnt have no where else to go.)
Long story short, I could have done something far less harmful, but thats the only way some people learn. Fire with fire.

(And I wanted to adrress some things/ answer some questions.

Im 17 years old. Ill be 18 in a few months.

I plan on getting another fish, but not at least for another 6 weeks ( so we can properly set up everything.) I think im gonna leave it at my girlfriends's house, just to be safe. I was thinking of naming it Daybreak, but i dont know yet.

To the people that claims this is fake: Why the actual gently caress would I waste time out of my day to intentionally taint my (and my family) in front of millions of strangers who (most likely) could give a poo poo less if I even wake up the next morning?

To those who claim I have autism: I dont. I have ADHD. But why does that matter? Are you saying that to be funny? Because if that's the case, your not funny. Listen, I love hosed up humor as much as the next person. But neurodivergency jokes arent funny. That and cancer jokes are very hosed up. Most of you here are grown rear end adults. And the fact that you resort to that to insult an adolescent really shows your character.

To the people who were saying I need therapy: I cant thank you enough. For once I feel that Im going to get some help that will help me further down the road.

I know, I know, my writing style is inaccurate and kinda cringy, but it gets the point across doesnt it? (some of yall didnt even fully read it anyway.)

I honestly cant thank yall enough. For those who think im "their hero" or "leech of finacial dependency" I enjoying laughing and remincing at the comments. Ive learned some valuable lessons But most importantly, I feel whole again.

Swim in Peace Eclipse.
Hope this is the end of it. Until next time mates.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:14

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 23:41

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Just give every newborn a maternity test

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:20

mystes: May 31, 2006

Mordiceius posted:

After some thinking, Ive decided to name my new Siamese Fighting fish Eclipse (I currently lack the funds for a proper aquarium with heater+filter and keeping them in bowls is frowned upon but im currently working on some sort of temporary home. Would like some assistance.

I need help.

Its not fair.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom: UPDATE

You broke my fish tank? We all sink to the bottom: THE LAST UPDATE

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:27

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Mordiceius posted:

After some thinking, Ive decided to name my new Siamese Fighting fish Eclipse (I currently lack the funds for a proper aquarium with heater+filter and keeping them in bowls is frowned upon but im currently working on some sort of temporary home. Would like some assistance.

I need help.

Its not fair.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom: UPDATE

You broke my fish tank? We all sink to the bottom: THE LAST UPDATE

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:34

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Mordiceius posted:

After some thinking, Ive decided to name my new Siamese Fighting fish Eclipse (I currently lack the funds for a proper aquarium with heater+filter and keeping them in bowls is frowned upon but im currently working on some sort of temporary home. Would like some assistance.

I need help.

Its not fair.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom.

You took apart my fish tank? We both sink to the bottom: UPDATE

You broke my fish tank? We all sink to the bottom: THE LAST UPDATE

Its interesting, there's the fun side effect when someone in the family finally stands up to the known bully/poo poo person that suddenly everyone else will jump in an go "you know what, gently caress you too, OP is right" so it seems like the uncle decided to seize the moment the finally push back against the aunt leading to what was probably some epic blow-up that just gave him every reason in the world to kick her out..

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:37

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

don�t post stories about animal abuse you dumb gently caress

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:38

mystes: May 31, 2006

Upgrade posted:

don�t post stories about animal abuse you dumb gently caress

hey it's child abuse too

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:40

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

This one is clearly abuse but it IS an interesting story otherwise. All of these posts live on some sort of abuse/interesting spectrum. I don't think we need to call each other dumb fucks over it.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:40

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Upgrade posted:

don�t post stories about animal abuse you dumb gently caress

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:40

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Should've told the aunt "You don't need all that poo poo. People live, people die, that's what they do." Otherwise no notes.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:41

bibliophile: Feb 9, 2008

Upgrade posted:

don’t post stories about animal abuse you dumb gently caress

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:44

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

As an aside, I'm not a fish person myself, but just wanna defend poor goldfish here for a moment anyway - goldfish die after a few months precisely because people keep them in bowls. If properly cared for they can live for literal decades.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:45

big black turnout: Jan 13, 2009; Fallen Rib

Hellblazer187 posted:

This one is clearly abuse but it IS an interesting story otherwise. All of these posts live on some sort of abuse/interesting spectrum. I don't think we need to call each other dumb fucks over it.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:50

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Actually you are a dumb gently caress if you think a post about an animal dying is entertainment that should be shared with people on SA.

This thread has like four rules, and that post violates two of them.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:51

big black turnout: Jan 13, 2009; Fallen Rib

drat, better go back and remove the steak posts

# ? Apr 21, 2024 23:53

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

I was entertained

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:01

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Upgrade posted:

Actually you are a dumb gently caress if you think a post about an animal dying is entertainment that should be shared with people on SA.

I know this is hard to comprehend but the parts of the post that were entertaining weren't the parts about the aunt killing the fish.

It was the other parts.

Hope that helps.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:04

reignonyourparade: Nov 15, 2012

I am glad that story got posted.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:04

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

The animal dying is not what's entertaining. It's the nuke level revenge on the person that killed the animal actually that's entertaining.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:04

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Hellblazer187 posted:

The animal dying is not what's entertaining. It's the nuke level revenge on the person that killed the animal actually that's entertaining.

I am sure there are also great stories about abused children getting their revenge too - but they don�t need to be in this thread because nobody wants to read about child abuse in the first place to get to the pay off. And posting the picture of the dead animal makes it even worse.

The bar is so very, very low. Don�t post stories about animal abuse, child abuse, or sexual violence.

If the story was that incredible you could even easily censor out that first part� which is what sometimes happens in this thread!

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:09

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Christ what is wrong with this thread these days

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:17

Tarezax: Sep 12, 2009; MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT

I'm slightly confused, I don't think OP posted a picture of the dead fish, that's the picture he posted of the fish freshly bought while he asked Reddit for advice

edit: Yeah I found the original post and that is indeed the case.

Tarezax fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Apr 22, 2024

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:19

Shithouse Dave: Aug 5, 2007; each post manufactured to the highest specifications

Seems a tad abusive to call someone a dumb gently caress

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:26

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

FYI: Goldfish need at least 10 gallons of water per fish.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:31

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

Radioman: �Sir, the tedious repetition of thread business is increasing in frequency!�

Colonel: �But that can only mean the thread has gone��

Radioman: �Yes sir. The thread has gone full Usenet.�

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:33

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Upgrade posted:

don�t post stories about animal abuse you dumb gently caress

Upgrade posted:

Actually you are a dumb gently caress if you think a post about an animal dying is entertainment that should be shared with people on SA.

This thread has like four rules, and that post violates two of them.

quote:

3) No stories of obvious abuse. Sexual, physical, mental, emotional, etc. I get that this one can be tricky sometimes, so feel free to reach out to me if you're unsure. Basically ask yourself "Where's the entertainment value here?" That's not to say that there aren't stories where abuse is referenced, but it's more inspirational because it's someone that was able to get out and thrive. You know, that sort of thing.

pentyne posted:

Its interesting, there's the fun side effect when someone in the family finally stands up to the known bully/poo poo person that suddenly everyone else will jump in an go "you know what, gently caress you too, OP is right" so it seems like the uncle decided to seize the moment the finally push back against the aunt leading to what was probably some epic blow-up that just gave him every reason in the world to kick her out..

# ? Apr 22, 2024 00:54

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Did you even bother to finish reading the OP?

I think you missed this rule right below the one you quoted:

quote:

5) Also related to the above, stories that are basically "I came home to find my boyfriend has poisoned my dog to save our relationship" aren't necessary. I'd like to keep the insane stories of animal cruelty out of this iteration of the thread. Please.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 01:29

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

what about ant farms

# ? Apr 22, 2024 01:32

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Upgrade posted:

Did you even bother to finish reading the OP?

I think you missed this rule right below the one you quoted:

If you have a problem with my post, you�re more than welcome to get Corky involved (but no need to this time since I�ve already pinged them and asked them to pass judgment).

Regardless, there is no need to lead a one man crusade derail to backseat mod this thread when we have an IK.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 01:42

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

I wonder if stories about going fishing count

# ? Apr 22, 2024 01:44

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

It is a good thing, actually, to read stories about animal abusers getting their poo poo rocked.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 01:48

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

*desperately searching subreddits for the phrase "go bag"*

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:04

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

If that fish had had a gun this wouldn�t have happened.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:08

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Dear Miss Manners: My 29-year-old, fully independent daughter recently told me that she does not wish to hear negative comments from me: �If you can�t say something nice, don�t say anything at all.�

Dear Miss Manners, I have been forced to be polite and accepting all my life, when really I longed to be racist. My daughter doesn't want to listen to my being racist. Tell me I'm being wronged.

That reminds me, it's been a while since I shared an estranged parent thing.

quote:

So to be brief it�s been a lovely week.Easter came and went and did not see my son or his family.

Since having two girls he has changed and it feels like he uses his children as hostages, trying to make arrangements to visit is like going to the dentist. It take from a mon. to fri night to get a reply and be granted an audience, and the few times I am granted access it feels like a parent on visitation, my son and wife sit a the kitchen table with their cell and the kids are there go play with them. Other times at least 5 times, arrangements made for a sat or sun, get up take a shower and cell go off someone is sick so no go.

Same scenario for easter breakfast, asked on monday and by sat night still waiting, I invited them to my town 20 mins from their place, but they wanted to meet nearer to their place, because they were going to visit her family after, fine no problem don�t make waves.

And now its where to meet ( never ever been invited for a meal), screw around screw around he didn�t know where to eat. he gave me some names i picked one and he replied there are two which one, back and forth then he says he has no time for games in his life ??? wtf does that come from, it just turned me off the whole thing, I said forget it just feels like a downer now, that was 3 weeks ago cricket�s since.

I feel like because I am alone, it screws up their plans? they have my daughter in-laws parents my ex and her whatever, so being alone makes you less?? I�m just lost, they invite me and cancel me has been going on for a while,but this easter was the first time I did not have easter with my family, xmas is the same I get stress weeks before cause I don�t know where my window will be, its been the same for most holidays. I don�t like the thought of not seeing my grandchildren, but I�m not a piece of crap either do I have to beg to see them?

My sympathy is automatically with the son, I haven't even met this person and already I feel the need to set a boundary about how much of their whining I'm going to listen to

remembertorelax posted:

Anytime a story touches on ridiculous expectations on how to do things, I feel like I have to spend a lot of extra time thinking through whether their complaints make sense. In my life, it's been so much more common to see people build a case about how their partner is controlling when the partner just has reasonable expectations for adulting, like "we should probably put trash in the trash can" or "if you make a mess in a shared space, you should clean it up".

Yep, I've seen this as well.

Ask Amy: Middle-aged woman disgusted by date's messy house

quote:

Dear Amy: I am a middle-age single woman and recently started seeing a man my age. I was married for 20 years, and he has never been married. My two children are in college.

He is a really sweet, smart, and respectful man. We share a lot of common interests.

He recently invited me to his home for the first time and � it is fairly disgusting. Not just messy, but very dirty and unhealthy � with food waste and dirty dishes and pots on the counters.

I�m unsure about what to say to him about the state of his house. I truly don�t ever want to spend time there. Up until then we had always gone out or come to my house, which is clean and fairly nice � like in a normal sense. (I�m not a clean freak or anything.)

Should I tell him about how I feel about his house and ask him to clean it up before I come over again?

� Recovering

quote:
Dear Recovering: Your guy invited you to his house. Presumably this visit was planned, and he was putting his best foot forward.

He is a mature person living in the world. He is making choices about how he is living. I�m not sure asking him to clean his house would be useful.

You should be honest about where you choose to spend your time: �I�m not comfortable in your house; it is too messy for me to feel at home there.�

I do think it�s important that you understand the reality of a future with someone who doesn�t take good care of himself and his surroundings.

I hope you will continue to enjoy his company, but don�t kid yourself that you will be able to inspire him to live differently.

You�ve had experience in a long marriage; if you two end up cohabiting, you will end up being continually frustrated by his poor life-skills.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:21

carrionman: Oct 30, 2010

Upgrade posted:

Did you even bother to finish reading the OP?

I think you missed this rule right below the one you quoted:

I'm feeling abused reading your posts.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:25

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

trickybiscuits posted:

My sympathy is automatically with the son, I haven't even met this person and already I feel the need to set a boundary about how much of their whining I'm going to listen to

Help me Reddit, my son and his wife are parents of newborns/young children (I guess the story didn�t specify age) and they�re acting like it!!! :mad:

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:25

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Can't post for 18 hours!

pentyne posted:

Its interesting, there's the fun side effect when someone in the family finally stands up to the known bully/poo poo person that suddenly everyone else will jump in an go "you know what, gently caress you too, OP is right" so it seems like the uncle decided to seize the moment the finally push back against the aunt leading to what was probably some epic blow-up that just gave him every reason in the world to kick her out..

Not that surprising, family bullies tend to get by in inertia and people wanting to keep the peace, but when the peace is already broken and poo poo's blowing up due to someone getting the final straw, a lot of people are likely to remember the poo poo they've had to deal with from that person and realise they don't have to put up with it for the sake of presuming everyone else liked them.

On the other end, unfortunately you can end up with a lot of overlap where victims of abuse are so used to unreasonable and arbitrary expectations they have a seriously weakened idea of or ability to understand and adhere to more reasonable ones. See how kids who get screamed at for missing a single spoon or not dusting the top of every cupboard end up just not bothering to do chores at all, since they'll get screamed at anyway and at least will save their time and energy.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:29

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Help me Reddit, my son and his wife are parents of newborns/young children (I guess the story didn�t specify age) and they�re acting like it!!!

Here's what that person wants:

quote:

My mother-in-law is generous and dotes on our 3-year-old son. We live less than an hour away and visit every Sunday. She invites us to spend the night on holidays, but never in the spare room. Instead we sleep on an air mattress downstairs. They let other guests (and our son) stay in the spare room. My mother-in-law has accused me of snooping a few times. I never have. I think she doesn�t want me upstairs. My husband defended me from those accusations, and my father-in-law apologized to me on her behalf. She has a hot temper, but she eventually apologized too. But she still makes sure I never go upstairs. If I need something for my son that�s in his room, she�ll go out of her way to get it for me. I feel resentful at the thought of another New Year�s on an air mattress on the floor in the living room. My husband doesn�t think it�s a big deal, but he doesn�t have a good reason for why she does it either.

quote:
My main concern is that you visit your in-laws every week (that�s 52 visits a year!) under conditions of obvious suspicion and scrutiny. I think you and your husband ought to talk about cutting back. Surely you can think of other things you�d enjoy doing with your Sundays. Just because your in-laws love your son and you live an hour away don�t mean you have to dedicate every single Sunday to seeing them. You could cut back to one or two visits a month and still consider yourself an exceptionally tightknit family. As for not wanting to sleep on an air mattress on a different floor from your son�that�s a perfectly reasonable desire, and I can�t think of any reason why you shouldn�t politely decline to spend the night and drive home. You don�t have to make the announcement rudely or petulantly. It won�t ruin the holiday. It�ll just mean a good night�s sleep for you and a more enjoyable New Year�s brunch the next day.

# ? Apr 22, 2024 02:57

mystes: May 31, 2006

trickybiscuits posted:

Here's what that person wants:

They're not allowed to go into the room their 3 year old is sleeping in? WTF?

# ? Apr 22, 2024 03:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 23:41

My Spirit Otter: Jun 15, 2006; CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

im guessing a mixed race couple

# ? Apr 22, 2024 03:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

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